How many times do I have to say that it's NOT ME?

On the other hand, it looks like they've just given you proof of life, so at least there's that.

But it wasn't me. It. Wasn't. Me.

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It was you! I know it was you! Just give. him. back.

Oh, by the by? Y'know that watch you like so much?

It looks really pretty on my wrist.

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You stole my watch?

You STOLE my WATCH?

Okay, seriously, what is the matter with you? I think you've gone round the bend. Completely and totally.

PS: I do not have Alphonse. Since when do I own purple ribbon? Since when do I own ribbon of any kind?

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You get the watch when I get the giraffe.

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Well, then I can only hope that whoever actually HAS him will return him.

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It's a very pretty watch, y'know. I've always really liked Fossil watches, and now I don't have to buy one for myself.

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You know what? There are times when you really are a bitch, Matthew.

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My MOM gave me that giraffe!!

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Which is why I wouldn't take it!

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I got that giraffe when I went off to college. Fifteen years--that's makes him like a bazillionty years old in stuffed animal years! He can't possibly take all this stress.

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Bazillionty? *tries to count*

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Now you're making fun of me. :(

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I'm not! I'm terribly worried about your Alphonse! If there's anything I can do, let know dear one.

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Make Jason give him back??

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You are a cruel man.

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Thank you, so much, for your trust and faith, Cass. That means a lot to me.

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Oh I have tons of trust and faith in you, Jason. Tons. Really.

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Right.

Hey, Cass? How many fingers am I holding up?

Here's a hint for you. Just one, on each hand.

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Poor Jason, so ganged up on.

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This would be an inopportune moment to fantasize about your fingers, wouldn't it, sir?

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You mean there is an inopportune time to fantasize about his fingers?

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Unspeakably cruel. Years of therapy are going to be needed once this is over.

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I know! Who does this to a poor, defenceless giraffe?

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A horrible, horrible person.

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That poor giraffe! This is cruel and unusual punishment. It's inhumane! Someone call the ASPCA!!!

And while they're doing that, I'll call the FBI. Or Scotland Yard. Someone! We need SWAT. With lots of guns. Don't worry, sir. Kidnapping for ransom is rarely successful. They get 'em at the ransom drop. Just tell 'em what they want to hear, wear the wire when you go to make the drop. We'll get 'em.

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Stuart! Don't make fun of me! It's not nice to make fun.

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Actually, believe it or not, I'm not. Just trying to lighten your mood in your hour of need, sir. And praying that the poor giraffe returns in good condition.

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So you're TOTALLY sure it was Jason? Hmm very curious.
I hope you get the giraffe back soon. Very very cruel of someone to do that to you.

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