AND FINALLY:



WTF is going on here?

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I don't know, but if I get sacked by some lineman, I don't think that those pads are gonna do much.

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I suspect you're naked from the waist down. Run out on the field like that, and you WILL get sacked by linemen.

If the linemen are into that sort of thing.

I could probably find some.

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Yeah, I just bet you could.

You know, I've been sitting here trying to come up with an appropriate (or inappropriate) you in a football locker room joke, but I just can't get the ball in the air. It's like, too many jokes, can't pick one!

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I think that's because it's too damn easy. I mean, seriously. Me? Locker room? Big, burly, hotass football players? WHEE!

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I know. It's almost like you're easy or something.

Oh! Kind of like how you look in this picture!



I mean seriously, Matthew, could you spread your legs any wider?

Wait--I already know the answer to that. Yes. Yes you can.

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Wait, wait. I've got two other options here:



or



I mean, let's keep making me this really easy.

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You're shameless, you know that? Absolutely shameless.



I'm pretty much dressed like this right now, and I've got some time off. So do you, I checked your schedule.

Bring the strawberry syrup.

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FUCK yeah. On my way.

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