February 26th, 2011
|matt_bomer||11:12 pm - An open letter|
I don't like being peed on.
No, really. This is not a trip to grandma's house; I shouldn't have to ask you if you've gone to the bathroom before we begin. We're all adults here, or at least we're supposed to be, and honest to god I am not that scary. On the other hand, that's why you come to me. I play the part of the dom who wants what he wants when he wants it. You pay me to be that guy. I'm getting paid to tell you what to do, and to yell at you when you get it wrong. How is this difficult to grasp? So when I yell at you, when I get in your space, when I make demands--could you maybe just not. pee. on. me?
I've been doing this for a long time. It's not as if this is a common occurrence, but one too many is one too many, even over years of being a professional. For the love of all things holy and small fluffy kittens, pee before you see me.
I'm billing you for the dry cleaning. And replacing my new shoes.
|Date:||February 27th, 2011 07:01 am (UTC)|| |
Matthew. No. Not your new shoes.
You bought them on sale!
Screw you and your italics.
|Date:||February 27th, 2011 07:04 am (UTC)|| |
Teach me to be sympathetic to your plight.
Then let me pee on your shoes.
|Date:||February 27th, 2011 07:06 am (UTC)|| |
What does having sympathy for you--which you threw back in my face--have to do with letting you pee on my shoes?
You don't have sympathy for me. I can taste your sarcasm from here.
|Date:||February 27th, 2011 07:08 am (UTC)|| |
What does sarcasm taste like?
Black licorice. Which is icky.
|Date:||February 27th, 2011 07:10 am (UTC)|| |
You're so cute I could just ruffle your hair.
|Date:||February 27th, 2011 07:38 am (UTC)|| |
Look at the picture you just used for that comment, and tell me you're not a puppy. That's total puppy face. You're about to pout, Matthew.
That's not a puppy face! That's my angry face. Grr!
Well, seems to me you could've had him lick clean your shoes, she said reasonably.
You know, that's not something I'm into, but it's not a bad idea to consider for the future.
|Date:||February 27th, 2011 07:08 am (UTC)|| |
You're trying reasonable with Matt? You're a braver woman than I am... if I were a brave woman. Or a woman at all.
There was that time in Courchevel . . .
|Date:||February 27th, 2011 07:13 am (UTC)|| |
I thought we swore never to speak of that publicly.
So let's not where I can see it, please? Please??
I think too many people witnessed it for you to pretend it didn't happen, Jase.
|Date:||February 27th, 2011 07:21 am (UTC)|| |
Damn. And I thought that the whole 'pics or it didn't happen' thing would save me.
I don't have pictures, so I can pretend it didn't happen. This thing, whatever it is, that I know nothing about and do not acknowledge.
Why . . . I don't know what you all are talking about. Little ol' me is simply speaking of the time that he braved the cold to bring me chocolate, she says innocently. You know . .. braver than me?
Ah, there, you see? Our Jason, hero, knight in shining armour, bringer of chocolate to lovely ladies!
You're as lovely as ever, Kat. But not any better at lying than you used to be.
How've you been?
Fabulous. Absolutely amazing. I'd tell you all about it but I'm afraid I'd turn up with a few less fingernails or with a paddle print permanently denting my ass.
We can't have that. Call me sometime--I'm local again, for now anyway.
Oh lovely! Soon, dearest, soon.
|Date:||February 27th, 2011 07:33 am (UTC)|| |
Okay--in all not-teasing-Matt seriousness--I don't blame you for being frustrated. Even though we're professionals, working in the kink/sex industry, we've still got a right to limits, just like clients do. I'm pretty sure that watersports are marked a 'no' on your checklist, and since I know it's happened to you more than once, more than twice, maybe more than half a dozen times, it's pretty not cool for it to keep happening.
And the thing is--this guy? Has done it to me on multiple occasions. And I'm about to cut him off completely and tell him not to come back. I mean, I'm clearly not that much of a monster, if I keep letting him come back. Right?
|Date:||February 27th, 2011 07:37 am (UTC)|| |
See... if it was just random people each time, I'd just say you had really bad luck. The same person doing it multiple times though? Either it's not an accident (bad choice of words, considering the topic, I suppose), or he's just not getting that if this is an issue for him, he needs to be planning for it in advance, by hitting the bathroom before he plays.
I'd say you either do need to cut him off, or you might have to do the 'going to Grandma's house' talk. Because seriously, those really were nice shoes.
You may want to speak to him, too, about seeing a doctor. Might be that he can't help it. But I'm in agreement with Jason. If he's walking on a hard limit, you have no obligation to keep accepting his appointments.
*blinks then falls over laughing* Mate, that's just...*continues to laugh* Sorry, sorry, I shouldn't laugh. If you can scare a man into peeing on your shoes, maybe you're more RAWR than I thought! *falls over laughing*
My dear little koala, if you didn't already think I was RAWR enough, then I'm clearly doing something wrong.
Oh no! No, not at all! Definitely enough "rawr", I've just never seen said 'rawr' produce spontaneous leakage!
Been there, done that. Though I got a good pair of leather pants ruined.
Perhaps you are just too damn scary.