Citadel In House

Look upon what insomnia hath wrought and despair or something.

jennandanica@gmail.com — Tue, 11 Dec 2012 06:52:23 GMT

It's not my fault I was on the cheezburger network. I'm home alone without my man and I can't sleep.

I think someone should post these signs and see what happens:

Next stop, YouTube.

What are you doing looking at this? GO BACK TO WORK. That ass won't spank itself!

He's back!

jennandanica@gmail.com — Sun, 01 Jul 2012 07:42:25 GMT

[open to Cit. employees]

Ever wondered what happened to Andrew Winston IV? I mean, those of you who don't have the 'pleasure' of scening with him.

Well, he's back and apparently, he has forgotten everything he ever learned about flogging! Some of us had volunteered when Miss Charlize taught him and he wasn't that bad anymore back then, was he?

I just had an appointment with him and I have flogger marks on my feet! How someone manages to flog my feet while he's aiming the flogger at my back is beyond me but he did it *sighs*

When met with an irresistible temptation... don't resist.

jennandanica@gmail.com — Sun, 18 Sep 2011 19:55:12 GMT

Anyone ever read FAIL Blog? It's on my regular morning surfing rotation. Which brings me to my latest irresistible temptation:

You're about to steep a blood bath...

This look familiar to anyone? A recently posted sign in the northwest breakroom, perhaps?

Swing low, Matt. Swing. Low.

jennandanica@gmail.com — Sun, 14 Aug 2011 04:38:53 GMT

I can't believe I've never posted this before. Actually, what I can't believe is that it took me this long to notice.

Now, first of all, I'd like to go on the record as saying that I am not being paid to advertise Matt's show right now, although what I'm going to say and show here might convince you that White Collar is worth a watch. I'd also like to go on the record as saying that I think that there are times where underwear is just simply unnecessary. I'm pro-commando, when it's the right time and/or place.

However... I'm not sure this was either...

If you're wondering if you just saw what you think you just saw... you totally just saw what you think you just saw. Here--once again--it's a smaller gif, but the quality is much better:

In conclusion, for anyone who wondered whether Neal Caffrey wears boxers or briefs--a question that I believe was actually asked in a later episode--you now have your answer.

The more you know.

Help, please!

jennandanica@gmail.com — Tue, 17 May 2011 19:43:43 GMT

[open to Cit. employees]

Can anyone switch shifts with me? A friend has tickets for the Arsenal match and I'd love to go but I have to work on Sunday. If someone could switch his shift with me, I'd be very very grateful... Please?

[public to Citadel employees]

jennandanica@gmail.com — Tue, 08 Mar 2011 23:54:07 GMT

[public to citadel_inhouse]

Is everyone working Courchevel this weekend? I for one intend to snowboard, look stunning, and get my feet rubbed by some lucky sub after a day on the slopes.

An open letter

jennandanica@gmail.com — Sun, 27 Feb 2011 06:35:36 GMT

Dear Client,

I don't like being peed on.

No, really. This is not a trip to grandma's house; I shouldn't have to ask you if you've gone to the bathroom before we begin. We're all adults here, or at least we're supposed to be, and honest to god I am not that scary. On the other hand, that's why you come to me. I play the part of the dom who wants what he wants when he wants it. You pay me to be that guy. I'm getting paid to tell you what to do, and to yell at you when you get it wrong. How is this difficult to grasp? So when I yell at you, when I get in your space, when I make demands--could you maybe just not. pee. on. me?

I've been doing this for a long time. It's not as if this is a common occurrence, but one too many is one too many, even over years of being a professional. For the love of all things holy and small fluffy kittens, pee before you see me.

I'm billing you for the dry cleaning. And replacing my new shoes.

Sincerely,
Matthew Bomer

Matthew Staton Bomer

jennandanica@gmail.com — Sun, 23 Jan 2011 06:53:33 GMT

I've been hearing a lot in the press lately about the physical attractiveness and photogenicness (is that a word?) of your good friend and mine, Mr Matthew Staton Bomer. The first thing that's important to know is that this is true. I'd be lying if I said it weren't. Why, our Matthew has always been a good looking lad who the camera loves to love.

Why, let's take a look down memory lane, and see just how photogenic our man Matthew has always been...

As many of you know, Matt's not just a world class dom, and a skilled television actor--he's also spent a substantial amount of time onstage, honing his craft. He's a serious actor, and we should all take him very seriously.

Like all of these young men with the cowboy hats are. Now, I don't know about you, but I think there's nothing quite so serious as chaps. Especially chaps that look like they were made out of a skinned Muppet.

And in this shot... wait. Is this really from a production of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat? Because what I think I'm seeing here is a chaps wearing daisy chain, and our Matthew's the ringleader. I suppose some things don't change.

For a bit of a change of pace, why don't we examine one of Matt's dramatic roles: Earnest Hemingway.

OH DEAR GOD THE MOUSTACHE IS GOING TO KILL US ALL.

*cough*

Sorry about that. I mean. Sorry. It's just. It's looking at me. It's following me, wherever I go. I'm going to have nightmares now.

Now this, this is much better. We've got the pornstache, and we've got a great set of shorts. Nice calves, Mattie.

So, now that we've seen these previously hidden from the world pictures, I think we're all agreed that Matt Bomer is one of the most photogenic men in LA, nay, the world.

PS: Feel free to spread these pictures around. I'm sure Matt would want that.

Final demands

jennandanica@gmail.com — Fri, 03 Dec 2010 02:39:41 GMT

[Posted moments after this comment.]

All right. So this whole farce is just about over. I can get my giraffe back tomorrow--the "kidnapper's" final demands have been sent to me.

So, interested parties in LA are welcome to show up in the employees' lounge (LA) tomorrow evening (Friday) at 5:30 pst. I have an announcement to make.

Disciplinary Action

jennandanica@gmail.com — Thu, 02 Dec 2010 05:37:49 GMT

To the employee - floor staff or otherwise - who has the giraffe:

Disciplinary action will not be as pleasant as you might think.

If the missing personal item has not been returned by end of day Thursday, December 2nd, this matter will be dealt with as a theft instead of a prank.

Kindly return the giraffe to Mr Bomer, or to my office.

Christian Bale
Manager

48 hours

jennandanica@gmail.com — Thu, 02 Dec 2010 04:45:32 GMT

It's been 48 hours since the last photograph. I'm still waiting. What have you done to my giraffe? What do you want? What do I have to DO?!

Or you could, y'know, just give him back. Put him on a table in the lounge when nobody's looking. Or stick him back in my locker, since you know my combination.

Can I have him back now? Please? We've all had a laugh, ha ha ha, but really.

I said the magic word there, and I will say it again: Please.

The Giraffe

jennandanica@gmail.com — Wed, 01 Dec 2010 05:53:34 GMT

Return the Giraffe. You can bring it back to my office, but I would prefer if it you returned it to the owner in person, and with a sincere apology.

Does this sort of thing happen every time I take a vacation?

Why would you do this?!

jennandanica@gmail.com — Tue, 30 Nov 2010 03:33:05 GMT

So I received another proof of life photograph today.

WHAT KIND OF SICK--

Okay, seriously? Even Jason isn't this wrong in the head. So here is my public apology to Mr Tyler--Jason, I'm sorry for thinking it was you. Cuz even you aren't THAT twisted.

:(

Incidentally? That looks like someone's apartment. One I've never been in, clearly, but not only was he stolen from my locker, but he's been taken off-site!

Sick bastard(s).

Alphonse: Day Three

jennandanica@gmail.com — Tue, 30 Nov 2010 02:39:18 GMT

open to everyone but Matt Bomer

Okay, everyone. We've all had a really good time winding Matt up, and making me out to be some kind of giraffe-stealing villain, but the fact remains that there are two things right now that are true:

1) Matt's giraffe disappeared from his locker

2) I didn't take it.

So to whoever did take it... come on. Let's just bring the damn thing back so that Matt can stop freaking out, stop yelling at me, and I won't end up with him drunk and sobbing on my couch. Okay? I just reupholstered.

Thanks.

Jason.

Oh... and just by the way? If anything happens to that thing--which his mother gave him for gods sake--then the person who took it will have me to answer to.

Just, y'know. Putting that out there.

Further developments.

jennandanica@gmail.com — Sun, 28 Nov 2010 21:24:44 GMT

SERIOUSLY, Jason?!

Not. Funny.

jennandanica@gmail.com — Sun, 28 Nov 2010 03:58:11 GMT

So off I go to my locker for a change of socks (please don't ask), and what do I find taped up inside the door?

If for some reason you can't see the picture or read the text it says: We have your giraffe. We will be in contact to discuss the terms of his release. TELL NO ONE. xo xo.

Jason? This is NOT FUNNY. You give Alphonse back this instant!!

Bitchy Bitchy Bitchy

jennandanica@gmail.com — Thu, 28 Oct 2010 22:18:04 GMT

Has anyone else noticed a severe lack of imagination on the part of clients lately?

Seeking: London in-house sub

jennandanica@gmail.com — Fri, 16 Jul 2010 19:06:07 GMT

Anyone up for a training session with Andrew Winston IV? Yes, I know you all know Andrew. He's a pain in the ass, he laughs like a horse, and he drools. But we're working on his flogging technique, and he needs a submissive to practice on.

So, who's up for Baron Andrew? If necessary, I'm willing to discuss combat pay.

An Open Letter

jennandanica@gmail.com — Sun, 11 Jul 2010 04:46:27 GMT

To the person who keeps eating my yogurt:

I work hard for my paychecks. I like having the luxury of buying organic yogurt. It's very tasty. I'm sure you've noticed this, as for--literally--the past ten days, every time I have gone to grab a yogurt for a snack, it's been missing from the refrigerator.

The first few days, I chalked this up to having to share a refrigerator with my coworkers, and these things happen. Perhaps those first few days, you thought the yogurt was yours. Honest mistake, these things happen.

Then it happened for the fourth day in a row, and I was annoyed. Still, shared refrigerator, coworkers, these things do happen, but I was annoyed. Day five. Go for my snack. Yogurt missing.

Guess what happened on days 6, 7, 8, 9 and 10? That's right! My yogurt was still disappearing.

Please stop eating my yogurt. Seriously! You owe me $10, but I will do you the favour of chalking this up to honest mistake, provided my yogurt remains with my food come my shift on Tuesday night.

If it does not, I will find you and shake you down for that $10.

Sincerely,
Matt Bomer, LA

Help from Citadel Staff!

jennandanica@gmail.com — Fri, 25 Jun 2010 05:49:32 GMT

Can someone tell me how to remove the black from one of those bloody marker sharpie things!?

Bloke gets me down, blindfolds me and... my cock head's now got a smiley face complete with ears and there are pretty little stars and hearts and...from what I can tell, he doodled a teddy bear on my balls. This isn't what I'd like to walk into my sessions tomorrow looking like!

Thanks. Travis "I'm not a dry-erase board" Fimmel

To all Citadel Staff:

jennandanica@gmail.com — Fri, 25 Jun 2010 02:23:24 GMT

If you see Matt Bomer, can you please pin him against a wall and keep him there until he admits to where he put my new leather pants?

Much appreciated,

Jason Tyler.