Then marionros descends with her usual vomitous screeds wherein she explains that being good at sports is a sure sign that you're spoiled, 'Hermione is the Gryffindor Bellatrix LeStrange' (actual words), and everyone in the Wizarding World is racist except for the Slytherins, because JKR is anti-Semetic.
OP (urbanman1984): *Harry is officially the secret weapon, but that should read “the only player of any significance.”
marionros: Don't get me started on this bit of narcissistic wankage! If there is one thing that spells the Potter mantra of 'everything revolves around Harry Bleeding Potter' it is Quidditch! The whole bleeding game has been invented to give Harry all the glory of athletic triumph. Harry Potter, who is supposed to be a 11 yo skinny runt with thick specs, but who nontheless stands his ground between husky 16 and 17 yo's and *finds and catches a small, incredibly fast miniature object that most people with perfect eyesight can hardly see*! But remember kiddies, Snape is *mean* and *wrong* and a *bully* to suggest that Harry is a spoilt little brat!
I'm not actually sure how the last sentence relates to the previous ones. How is being good at a sport automatic proof that Harry is a 'spoilt little brat'? I can see him getting the broom and being let on the team as being proof of that, but simply the fact that he happens to have talent? Or is it just that anything that praises any non-academic talent is automatically anti-intellectual to her?
OP: *Hermione is Harry’s friend as long as she does his homework for him...! Poor girl. Does she actually believe that Harry counts as a friend or has she realised that he is the centre of the Potterverse and is latching onto him for that reason?
marionros: Hermione is the Gryffindor Bellatrix LeStrange. She latched onto her 'Master' ("I'm just chopped liver, but You're a Great Wizard, Harry!") does everything he wants, including breaking rules, breaking the law, disfiguring a schoolchild, lead a woman to her rapists, lie, steal and cheat, all the while singing his praises. Takes it with a wobbly lip that her Master chews her out or blames her for his own failings. Abandons all she cares for or believes in (including family) to be with him and even though he doesn't appreciate her nor her devotion to him, marries one of her fellow sycophants but makes no secret of the fact that her Master is more important to her than her lover/(future) husband and/or her family. Oh, and she is a psychopath.
She is, in short, the Potterverse Ideal Woman (no disgusting leaky eyes or wet kisses from her, but pure devotion to Harry). Of course, if she had been Slytherin and had displayed the same devotion to, say, Draco, her behaviour would be described as disgusting and Totally Evil. IOIAGDI!
aikaterni: Your comparisons are interesting, though, considering how I’ve seen people call Ginny Weasley “Harry’s personal Bellatrix.
marionros: Harry has TWO personal Bellatrixes (Bellatrices?), trumping Voldie's one, following the Rowling Mantra of 'Harry has to win at everything'.
...Am I weird that in all of that, the only thing that really raised my eyebrow was the gratuitous 'Bellatrices' pluralisation?
OP: *Flint may have troll blood in him, that would explain his shortcomings – his ancestry is impure. Are we sure JKR does not have a nationalist or neo-nazi type of mindset?
marionros: Let's see... Harry is a great wizard because his parents were great wizards, the Malfoys are evil because they have 'evil blood'... It's okay to look down on filthy little squibs, and you ought to feel sorry for squibs because they want nothing else in life but to have magic, like You, but really, who could feel sorry for such mean, filthy jellus types?! It's okay to look down on filthy Muggles, and you ought to feel sorry for people who are too unfortunate to be born with Magic, but really, who could feel sorry for such mean, small-minded JELLUS group of idiots? The baddies are clannish, will only marry within their own group, they have too much (ill-gained) money, will leave you in the lurch during a war and will wheedle and deal with the Enemy to save their own skins (back-stabbers, the lot!). They are Cunning and far too smart and intellectual (not like Us, the redblooded, redcheeked, cleanlimbed, heroic ones!) but they are also backward, with filthy backwards habits and habitats... They are rich and think they are better than Us AND they are poor parasites who Lust After Our Pure White Wimmen! They have oily hair, hooked noses and lurk in dark, damp alleys. They hold strange rituals in which they sacrifice Christian children... They denounced Harry Potter and rejected His Salvation!!
But remember! It's the Slytherins who are Bad because they are Racist!
I never cease to hover between amazement, horror and amusement at the sheer inappropriateness of the strawmen and the cherry-picking that she pulls. IIRC, we only see two squibs in the whole series and only one of them is noticably embittered by his disability. More of that implication that any athletic or non-academic interest is by its very nature anti-intellectual. All Gryffindors are somehow anti-Semetic. And yet AGAIN, she operates under the impression that she can automatically negate any accusation of characters she likes holding prejudice if she can somehow bellow loudly enough prove that everybody else happens to have a prejudice too.
Also, maybe it was just me, but I alwyas read the comment about Flint's looking like he could be related to a troll as merely a fancy way of saying that the kid was big and ugly.
In order to cleanse the mental palate, I would like to rec a fic that I fell in love with because it's the best answer to Slytherpologist bullcrap I've read for a while : Overdue Protection by PadyandMoony. In this fic, after Harry is revealed as a Parseltongue in his second year, the school turns against him and the teachers predictably do nothing. When the situation escalates into violence, Harry runs away. Dumbledore's attempts to locate him end up revealing Sirius' innocence. Sirius takes charge of Harry's welfare and makes everyone take responsibility for their part in his suffering, both short-term and long-term.
The thing I love most about this fic is that many canon characters' (especially Remus and Dumbledore's) failings are addressed fairly but firmly, in a non-bashy way. Sirius is notably more mature and adult than in canon (since he is proven innocent and can access psychological treatment for his Azkaban issues), while still being the Sirius we recognise. This is a Sirius who knows when to joke and when to get serious (pardon the pun).
Best bit is the statement Sirius issues via the newspaper in chapter three regarding the behaviour of the Slytherins when he attended Hogwarts. The entire thing is a thing of beauty, but this sticks out as the best part that really kills Slytherpology:
...Did Dumbledore expel them, discipline them?
No. He claimed that if he turned them away or was harsh with them he'd encourage them to join (here Lord Black said You-Know-Who's name) as many of their housemates had. Back then being in Slytherin automatically gave them a free pass despite the fact that the other houses have produced criminals and Death Eaters as well. But apparently, the other houses were tougher, could stand whatever is thrown at them and would always stay good, not the poor delicate Slytherins.
Every time I read Slytherpology now, I hear that last line in my head.
He farts rainbows and is ded from snake. - Post a comment