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Vigilant E. Rodent, Esq. ([info]vigilanterodent) wrote in [info]fandom_court,
@ 2006-12-19 16:13:00
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I am currently avoiding writing three more fucking pages about fucking Catherine the Great's fucking Nakaz about fucking judicial reform. Having written ten fucking pages about it already, I feel very strongly that it is time I get to indulge in my favorite of the underused FW spinoff comms. Entertain me, damnit.

May it please the court, and if it doesn't I will passive-aggressively make comments about how the court forgot my birthday this year to remind the court what's what:

The right honorable Vigilant E. Rodent, Esquire, accuses the parties of [info]fandom_wank with the following crimes:

1) Causing me to lose sleep staying up wondering whether [info]orihime_kun doesn't actually realize "fuck" and "cunt" are swears, and thus does not censor herself for using them.
2) Totally copying my sound. Dude, you know you are. Poser.
3) Feeding my baby to a dingo, and then fucking the dingo. Yeah, that's right - I seen what you did there.

I move that FW owes me a bottle of booze, front row seats when [info]orihime_kun and [info]ichirukicanon go through a ritual duel to determine whose ship truly is canon, and a new baby. And not one of those separated-from-their-mother-for-six-months ones, I've been told those are defective.

How do you plead?

(Post a new comment)

On the sound Not Guilty.
[info]qem_chibati
2006-12-19 10:46 pm UTC (link)
It's totally a pastiche You totally ripped that sound of JKR Eragon! You know you did, bitch.


Fandom_wank would furthermore like to point out your mum the fact that it has already provided an opportunity for front row seats for the ♥Fandom_Love♥ duel between orihime_kun and ichirukicanon.


For this I demonstrate exhibit A which is the standard acceptable manner to go about precuring front row seats.

The honourable Qem_Chibati, would like to to list agreement with the sentiment that it was hot.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: On the sound Not Guilty.
[info]keri
2006-12-19 10:57 pm UTC (link)
However! Previous events have demonstrated other, equally effective methods of obtaining front row seats.

And, it appears, [info]vigilanterodent is dutifully following those methods, by taking her case to court.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: On the sound Not Guilty.
[info]qem_chibati
2006-12-19 11:08 pm UTC (link)
Objection!

Orihime gives us valid reason on why the anonymouse menace must be segregated until we can get the barbecue sets fired up for their arrival.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: On the sound Not Guilty.
[info]vigilanterodent
2006-12-20 12:41 am UTC (link)
VILE SLANDER LIBEL. I WILL SEE YOU IN COURT, MADAM.

I was thinking more, you know, dueling with actual weaponry to allow God to decide who's right. If no one dies it doesn't count.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]the_wanlorn
2006-12-19 10:49 pm UTC (link)
Guilty your honour!

But. I have cake. And booze. And I am willing to share if it means I can get off.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]mindset
2006-12-19 11:02 pm UTC (link)
And I am willing to share if it means I can get off.

As the actress said to the bishop...

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]vigilanterodent
2006-12-20 12:42 am UTC (link)
The court is above bribes in much the same way as the sky is above the ocean. Hand it over.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]saralina25
2006-12-19 10:55 pm UTC (link)
If it pleases your honor, I would like to offer this into evidence. Orihime_kun only sometimes censors herself when using fuck as a swear, making her merely an idiot.

I also demand the to know where this baby-eating dingo is before a plea is entered. He took my barbeque sauce.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]vigilanterodent
2006-12-20 12:43 am UTC (link)
That still doesn't resolve why she sometimes censors and sometimes does not. I submit it to the court that this is a crucial piece of evidence.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]saralina25
2006-12-20 01:11 am UTC (link)
Well, we'll plead guilty to everything. But as for why she cenors sometimes? I think she's just an idiot.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]ladyrogue
2006-12-19 11:00 pm UTC (link)
Objection! The defense demands an answer!

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]vigilanterodent
2006-12-20 12:45 am UTC (link)
Counter-objection! TAKE THAT, BITCH.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]ladyrogue
2006-12-20 03:38 am UTC (link)
Justice will be served!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]skewed_tartan
2006-12-20 04:00 am UTC (link)
Not quite yet!

This is my new favorite thing. :p

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]vigilanterodent
2006-12-20 06:42 am UTC (link)
Justice is my bitch!

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]phosfate
2006-12-19 11:02 pm UTC (link)
Very guilty?

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]vigilanterodent
2006-12-20 06:40 am UTC (link)
Well, uh, don't do it again, then.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]phosfate
2006-12-20 02:11 pm UTC (link)
'kay.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]damnedfallacy
2006-12-19 11:13 pm UTC (link)
Your honors, as evidence that my client, the dingo, could not have eaten Plaintiff's baby, I present this.

You must ask yourselves whether anyone idiotic enough to make a video of themselves acting so very stupid - accompanied by a Wiggles song for cripes sakes - is intelligent enough to catch and digest an infant.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]vigilanterodent
2006-12-20 06:39 am UTC (link)
I present this counter-evidence. I'm not sure what it actually counters, but it sure counters something.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]smo
2006-12-19 11:15 pm UTC (link)
The court finds itself very naughty indeed, and sentences itself to multiple spankings, to be run consecutively.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]darkeyes
2006-12-20 12:44 am UTC (link)
And then the oral sex?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]smo
2006-12-20 07:12 am UTC (link)
Well, I... suppose I could stay a little while.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]vigilanterodent
2006-12-20 06:37 am UTC (link)
The prosecution will go get its sexiest paddle.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]smo
2006-12-20 07:09 am UTC (link)
Court is adjourned to slip into something more comfortable.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]pyratejenni
2006-12-19 11:36 pm UTC (link)
No contest. If it were legal to send wine through the mail, you'd have a bottle.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]vigilanterodent
2006-12-20 06:37 am UTC (link)
I shall clearly have to sue the postal service for depriving me of my rightful wine.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]sepiamagpie
2006-12-20 12:14 am UTC (link)
The court confesses to its guilt, but insists it was shaking its booty old school long before you were even more than a disgrunted citizenrodent.

Now make the trolls wrestle!

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]vigilanterodent
2006-12-20 06:36 am UTC (link)
THEN HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THIS VIDEO EVIDENCE, PRAY TELL?

I'm down with troll-wrestling. Jello, pudding, mud or dead babies?

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]photosinensis
2006-12-20 02:50 am UTC (link)
The court hereby counteraccuses you of being lazy. Now get to work on that freaky Catherine the Great. You do know that she once had sex with a blue whale, right?

Well, no, she didn't, as far as I know. But still, that would be funny in an it-could-rip-you-in-two way.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]sepiamagpie
2006-12-20 06:29 am UTC (link)
The Court is creeped out.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]vigilanterodent
2006-12-20 06:32 am UTC (link)
Catherine the Great had sex with everything.

However, the prosecution fails to see why this signifies in the current case.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]phosfate
2006-12-20 02:11 pm UTC (link)
Not if she topped.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]sashenka
2006-12-20 05:19 pm UTC (link)
I plead llamas.

(Reply to this)

  
   
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