Fandom Lawyers

WARNING:

The following contains discussions of bestiality. My opinion is that anyone who screws an animal is a rapist. However, you will find there are people who are so self-absorbed that they think that as long as it satisfies their deviant, sexual urges then it's A-OKAY! You have been warned.

They think about you while they're eye-raping your pets...

So over on the furry art site, Fur Affinity, website owner, Dragoneer, has decided to bring the hurt for those who talk about zoophilia and their participation in zoophilia on FA. And there was much rejoicing- well, there was from the well-adjusted folks who realize that they are, in fact, humans. The rest of the delusional dog-fuckers start touting arguments that they are being oppressed, that they're just like homosexuals, and that it's like the Holocaust.

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/902267/#cid:7506045

Now it appears that 'masterdebater' wants to think that because people donate to the site they own parts of it. Additionally, he is looking into filing a lawsuit. Because, you know, it's totally illegal for a privately-owned website to decide who can participate on it and who cannot.

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/901292/

Screencaps (because this shit is just too unreal to loose):
http://img31.imageshack.us/img31/116/ifuckanimalsanonihmusjo.jpg
http://img17.imageshack.us/img17/5178/banningallthezoosmaster.jpg
http://img268.imageshack.us/img268/3295/banningallthezoosmaster.png

FA Membership = Free
Watching Drama Unfold = Free
Watching Someone Think That They Can Sue FA For Banning People Who Fuck Animals = So Fucking Stupid It's Priceless

ETA: Dragoneer has made a journal post about this-
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/903341/

Did you know that if a private website is based out of the United States it has to be a democracy? Fuckin' Hell- someone needs to inform the JF admins!

Okay guys! I'm not sure if I'm doing this right, so please go easy on me! ;D

Here's the story: Man accidentally leaves his iPhone in a bar, where it is stolen within five minutes. He uses the new "Find My iPhone" feature to track it down and get it back.

The comments are full of Internet Lawyers, people telling him how risky that was (agreed), and debates on the competency of Chicago cops.

However, my favorite was a now-deleted** anonymous reply to my comment:

Stealing? The dumbass LEFT* it at the bar (or did you miss the "Whoops!"?). Finders keepers! Though really the kid should've turned it into the manager and waited 24 hours.

*And yet he talks about it as if it were a baby. iPhones =/= babies, and you would not leave your baby at a restaurant/bar without anyone noticing.

All name-calling aside, grade-school rhymes are not exactly common law. I'd love to see what happens if this guy were to try explaining his interpretation to a judge.

**I can screencap this in my GMail if anyone really wants it

I can say whatever I want because the Constitution says so-

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/1915664/#cid:17614274

TL;DR- Idiot decides several months too late that he wants to reply to everyone who disagreed with him. I didn't want to do another FA post but I couldn't stop myself with a gem like this-

I have a constitutionally guaranteed right to say whatever the hell I want whenever the hell I want to say it!

However, it's somewhere to start with this community-

Story? Apparently, a furry named Aphinion liked to take inflatable pool toys and make them into sex toys. Yes, you TOO could fuck a toy dolphin. Any ways, he was 'kind' enough to post pictures of his 'creations' to FurAffinity. The catch?

Taken from FA's AUP:
Under "Photography," "Prohibited Content:"
Photographs containing exposed human genitalia, breasts or buttocks are not permitted. This includes, but {[s] not limited to; images depicting explicit and/or implicit sexual acts, images focusing on the genitals of animals or images containing items of sexual nature (adult toys, sexually modified fursuits/plush animals, etc.)

Aphinion was, surprise, surprise, reported for violating the very terms he agreed to when he signed up on the site and all his pictures are subsequently removed. Of course, he takes this with grace and dignity-

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/2390319

There is discussion of what is and isn't allowed on FA. People scream about how it's not fair. Aphinion is called out on his inability to read and his complete ignorance of how the law works with regard to private companies. Good times are had by all.

( screencaps just in case )

Color me surprised at seeing so many people join this community right out of the gate. Now I feel like I need to actually DO something. Damn you all!

Only not really...

Any ways, welcome to fandom_lawyers! This is the place for all your snarky legal needs. There is no need for a legal background to gripe here! The only thing you need to contribute is a basic understanding of how THE LAW DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY! Example?

Here's one of my all-time-biggest pet peeves in the online world-

The idea that the First Amendment to the United States Constitution applies to private conduct. My favorite showing of ignorance on this subject is when a wanker decides to pass on their fascinating insight into how people can't tell them to fuck off because it's infringing on their freedom of speech.

I have a little secret for you- it's not a freedom of speech violation if the person 'oppressing' you ISN'T the government. If it's not the government then SHUT THE HELL UP. You don't need a legal education to know this just basic reading skills.

I originally wanted a community like this so I could vent about things such as application of the Constitution to those 'mean girls' on the internet. Here's hoping it will expand beyond that. Bring forth your wankers with copyright issues, people who think the U.S. Constitution applies in other countries, those who need to be sent back to high school Civics class, and all the like. It's time to mock people in a 'legal' way.

I'm working on putting together the rules and such. As a general guide for now, though:

RULES
-no wanking people under 18
-no reposting of locked material unless it was public to start with and was later locked
-don't take anything here seriously
-none of the content here is legal advice
-don't ask for legal advice- we're here to mock people for failing at basic legal stuff that everyone should have learned in high school NOT give sophisticated answers to complicated legal issues
-anyone who comes looking for legal advice here is fair game for mocking
-don't go trolling the wankers- we're here to point and laugh in our sandbox
-if wankers come here and decide to bother us then by all means dog-pile them
-macros are A-OKAY in my book

I'll be updating the user info and such. Feel free to post with your law-related or government-related pet peeves. Additionally, have at posting articles and reporting wankers whose lack of reading comprehension makes you want to scream. We'll mock and scream with you because that's what friends are for.