Everything I know about Harry Potter I learned on the Internet
Okay, I can't be the only one here: I've never read the books, nor seen any of the movies (only one or two trailers), despite having friends and future in-laws who are fans of both. I just have no interest in them.

Besides, these days I don't feel a need to—everything I know about Harry Potter I learned via blogs, forums, and news stories. It's why I can't see Blaise Zabini as anything other than a dashing black Italian, and why I have no idea about this Hermione chick (is she supposed to wind up with Harry or Ron, and is she a Mary Sue or a whore or both? Or is that Ginny?). I am reasonably sure, however, that Draco wears leather pants, aspiring Slytherins bartend in the dark, giant squids are totally cool ('course, I always knew this), Snape kills Dumbledore on page 606 of HBP, and that the fandom makes (nearly) all others looks positively sane and polite by comparison.

What has the internet taught my fellow Potterphobes (if there are any 'round these parts) about Harry Potter?