"Our teeth grated, and my nipples went *spung*!"

From Thog's Masterclass, a collection of sentences from fantasy and sci-fi novels that sound funny when taken out of context (and probably not any less funny when in context). More examples:

Thomas Harris conjures up a slightly fishy image in Hannibal -- 'Excitement leaped like a trout in the public trousers.'
Patricia McKillip diagnoses another throat condition in The Riddle-Master of Hed -- 'Something jumped in the back of Morgon's throat. It was huge, broad as a farmhorse, with a deer's delicate, triangular face.'
From Joe Buff's Thunder in the Deep: 'Taylor struggled to his console, tried to lift the red handset to Damage Control back aft, and realized his right collarbone was smashed. He grabbed for the phone with his left.'

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	rosehiptea 2007-10-31 02:17 pm UTC (link)
	These are hilarious! I'm going to remove the skull so I can watch what happens in the brain when I make you my mate I read a Harry Potter fic like that once. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	kaesa 2007-10-31 04:43 pm UTC (link)
	Was it that Draco/Lucius skullfucking one? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	rosehiptea 2007-10-31 10:38 pm UTC (link)
	Actually, yes. But I have a sad feeling there are more. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	kaesa 2007-11-01 01:37 am UTC (link)
	...now you've made me wonder if there's some poor HP fanauthor out there who's independently done an equally awful Arthur/Ron skullfucking fic and feels cheated whenever anyone says OH THAT SKULLFUCKING FIC and doesn't mean theirs. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	rosehiptea 2007-11-01 02:09 am UTC (link)
	"You think it's easy to write a skullfucking fic? Do you? And just because Lucius is oh-so-pretty everyone wants to watch him squick his kid, forget poor Arthur..." Actually, I'm surprised there isn't an entire HP community. I have been on the internet too long. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	makeshyft 2007-10-31 03:01 pm UTC (link)
	'She ... unearthed one of her fantastic breasts from the folds of her sheath skirt.' Heh, gravity, the one true bitch. (Reply to this)

	dhole 2007-10-31 07:17 pm UTC (link)
	Man, Langford really earned those Hugos, didn't he? (Reply to this)

wankaholic
2007-10-31 08:43 pm UTC (link)

To be fair, the one from The Riddle-Master of Hed does make sense in context:

"He froze. His bow lay on the other side of the fire; his knife was stuck upright on the wedge of cheese. He began to reach for it slowly. The eyes blinked. There was a gathering, a soft stirring; then a vesta walked into his firelight. Something jumped in the back of Morgon's throat. It was huge, broad as a farmhorse, with a deer's delicate, triangular face."

It then continues describing the vesta. :)

(Reply to this)(Thread)

	panthea 2007-11-01 05:27 pm UTC (link)
	Well, yes, but from a grammatical point of view, it reads as in the excerpt. "It" refers back to the "something" that jumped. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	tekenduis 2007-11-01 12:46 am UTC (link)
	'Terry Pratchett is one of America's most entertaining writers.' sporfle (Reply to this)(Thread)

	anon_a_mouse 2007-11-01 05:43 pm UTC (link)
	snicker Oh those silly americans. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	puipui 2007-11-01 08:31 am UTC (link)
	OMG those quotes are beautiful! And plus he's got a whole section on Terry Goodkind's Evil Chicken! Fantastic! (Reply to this)

	panthea 2007-11-01 05:28 pm UTC (link)
	Spunging nipples! See a dermatologist, lady, stat! (Reply to this)

	cheezdanish 2007-11-04 08:41 am UTC (link)
	...Is it sad that I already knew what the title quote was without having to check the list? (Reply to this)