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	Porn Prompt chaimonkey 2008-04-16 06:44 am UTC (link)
	Genre: Slash Characters: John Legend and Stephen Colbert Preference: Either one can top Prompt: Colbert convincing Legend to appear on his show again (or maybe every time?) Go go GO! (Reply to this)

	chaimonkey 2008-04-16 06:45 am UTC (link)
	btw: Epic post is epic. (Reply to this)

I can do prompting!

spacelogic
2008-04-16 06:59 am UTC (link)

Maybe too vague for a prompt, but if anyone wants to try a never-before-written (AFAIK, but I've looked) Star Trek pairing: Sulu/Uhura, set around one of the times one or both of them came under the influence of alien somethings, e. g. the Spores or Landru. Bonus points, in the context of this post, for writing it in Spanish.

~~Or if you want me to love you forever, how about Babylon 5? Ivanova/Winters, sub!Ivanova, telekinesis involved if possible. Same bonus applies.~~

(Reply to this)

*kicks it off with Insanejournal/Twitter porn-ish crack*

damien
2008-04-16 07:08 am UTC (link)

"Where," Insanejournal asked the cupboard angrily, "Are those damn databases?!"

He folded his arms over his chest, "Cough them up. I'm not leaving the houses without them."

On the bed behind him, he could hear his lover, Twitter, murmuring to himself, "I'm watching Tweak go crazy. Tweak's yelling at an inanimate object. I'm hoping Tweak finds the databases soon."

Rolling his eyes at Twitter's constant need to keep up a running commentary on everything that happened, Insanejournal kicked the cupboard savagely, insisting that it yield up its secrets. A moment later, he was hopping around, clutching his foot to him and cursing fluently in multiple languages. Especially Spanish.

"Tweak's hopping around on one foot. Tweak's an idiot, but a cute idiot."

Insanejournal wished, yet again, that Twitter had chosen a different nickname for him. Twitter and Tweak might be alliterative, but he still thought that Tweak made him sound like a druggie. Pushing his orange-red away from his eyes, Insanejournal put his foot down and went back to searching through the drawers for the missing databases. He tuned out Twitter's mutterings, knowing that Twitter wasn't anywhere as concerned about the missing databases as Insanejournal was. Why should Twitter be? Twitter never went down for more than moments at a time -- at least, not without planning it before.

"I'm playing with a new widget."

Insanejournal went very still. Momentarily distracted, he asked, "You have a new widget?"

"Tweet Clouds." Twitter gasped as he covered himself in a cloud of words of varying sizes that settled under his fair skin like blue tattoos. He arched his shoulders back, presenting himself to Insanejournal, showing off, "Look at what you talk about."

Insanejournal scanned the words as he rose up and joined Twitter on the bed, pressing kisses to the words he found particularly attractive.

"Site. Working." He whispered against Twitter's skin like a prayer, feeling his lover's hands tangle in his hair and push him gently downwards. Insanejournal went with it for a moment, then pulled away, "I should be working. Looking for the databases."

Twitter laughed, wriggling a little as he shed what little clothing he wore, "So make it fast."

Sexual encounters was always brief between them. Insanejournal had a lot to do and with Twitter's attention span, long foreplay really wasn't an option. Taking the new widget away from Twitter, Insanejournal positioned himself and then updated Twitter. Again. And again. And again.

"YES! Insanejournal's updating!" Twitter cried, vocal as always. At first, Insanejournal had been deeply disturbed by Twitter's need to describe everything that happened during sex but now he was used to it.

Twitter slammed a fist against the bedsheets, writhing wildly and demanded, "Say it! Say it!"

Insanejournal's teeth were gritted at how tight Twitter's entry box was. So tiny! Only 140 characters. At his lover's demand, Insanejournal managed to whisper menacingly, "What -- are you doing?"

As he flickered with bliss, Twitter yelled loudly enough for the entire block to hear, "I'M REFRESHING!"

Smugly, Insanejournal thought of how insane the noise drove Livejournal. He liked Livejournal knowing exactly how good he could please Twitter, what with Livejournal flaunting Photobucket at them all the time. Pulling out, he grabbed at the phone as it rang, only to have Twitter beat him to it.

"I'm talking the European gigolo." Twitter informed Insanejournal with a moue of distaste for 1and1. Twitter was always trying to persuade Insanejournal to stay away from them and recently, Insanejournal had agreed to switch hosts only to have his databases mysteriously vanish. "They say they've found your databases and you can have them back if you pay a ransom."

Insanejournal sighed and reached for his cellphone, "Time to sic Fandom on them..."

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	damien 2008-04-16 07:12 am UTC (link)
	...Ignore all the typos in the form of missed words. XD And for anyone that's wondering WHY Insanejournal/Twitter, LOOK!. Squeaky has a Twitter that he updates whenever something is up with Insanejournal to let us know what's happening. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	Re: kicks it off with Insanejournal/Twitter porn-ish crack spacelogic 2008-04-16 07:20 am UTC (link)
	As he flickered with bliss, Twitter yelled loudly enough for the entire block to hear, "I'M REFRESHING!" Best. Smutfic. Ever. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	Re: kicks it off with Insanejournal/Twitter porn-ish crack solesakuma 2008-04-16 07:23 am UTC (link)
	I loved it. And thanks for the Spanish bit. XDDDDDDDDDDDD (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	*awkward estadounidense is awkward* spacelogic 2008-04-16 07:56 am UTC (link)
	Sorry, I'm going completely OT here, but I just looked at your profile and noticed the listed email -- I'm going to be studying in Buenos Aires in June, so I'm desperately scrounging information; would you by any chance be able to assist me? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: awkward estadounidense is awkward solesakuma 2008-04-16 08:19 am UTC (link)
	No problem at all :D, I'm happy to help, but bear in mind that since I live near but not in BA (I'm half an hour away) I won't be able to give specifics about that damn hellish hole known as 'Buenos Aires'. XP (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: *awkward estadounidense is awkward*

spacelogic
2008-04-16 10:40 pm UTC (link)

It's mostly cultural stuff I'm worried about, really, aside from the internet connectivity questions. Any unusual taboos? How "liberal" is the place, really? There's some statistic about most of the population being technically Catholic but only about 20% actively -- how accurate is that? Are people likely to be friendly, hostile or neutral towards estadounidenses estúpidos, and will it make any difference which part of the country we're from? These are the questions I panic over.

Discúlpame. Es que me da un poco de miedo, viajando sola y no sabiendo nada de la país....

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Re: *awkward estadounidense is awkward*

solesakuma
2008-04-16 11:52 pm UTC (link)

First: 'liberal' here is not, well, leftist. It's mostly used about economically liberals. So remember that Liberal=Right.

Second: about your serious question, in some aspects we're more liberal than the USA, in other we're not. Also, I'm a leftist, therefore this is biased.
Homosexuality is becoming more accepted, but many people believe A) it's a disease B) it should not be 'flaunted'. Anyway, there are a few civil unions laws and several gay marriage projects but it's not an important issue to most people. Also, 'travestis' doesn't mean 'transvestites' but rather transsexuals who are involved in prostitution.
Yeah, the Catholic figure is mostly accurate. Most people even do all the Sacraments but do not go to church or care about what the Pope says. The Church, however, is very important in politics and they lean to the right. They're the main reason abortion is still illegal.
Someone said once that Argentina is composed of 40 million Economy Ministers and 40 million football coaches. The point is that we're opinionated and talk about politics a lot. Most of times we don't make any sense.
You may find yourself in the middle of rallies or pickets if you go near BA downtown. It's normal, don't worry.
If you're going to study in the UBA, you'll get politics all the time. State universities are leftist by default. BTW, state universities happen to be free and many of the issues related to them may sound really strange to you.
The main issue you probably aren't very familiar with is the dictatorship issue. Quick sum-up: during the whole 20th Century, the military made coup d'etats and then proceeded to create a military government (most of our Presidents didn't finish their periods). The one from 76-83 (commonly known as 'la dictadura' or 'el Proceso') was the bloodiest one. Aprox. 30,000 people (involved in politics and some involved in terrorism) were killed and then 'desaparecidas'; the ones that managed to survive went into exile. Most of the perpetrators are still free; most bodies haven't been found; it's an Issue Argentina hasn't agreed on.
Also, the Police is evil. Well, some of them are nice but we're talking about daily tortures and rampant corruption. Avoid them at all costs.
Race is another subject you'll probably find weird. First and foremost, we define 'whiteness' a little different than you do, so you may think someone is black while we define him as white. [Example: there are no black characters in SGA for me. I was surprised to know I was supposed to see them as POC.]] Second, for us, thinking in terms of race is racist. Our concept of 'race' is very much tied to xenophobia and someone being culturally different. But most of the time we don't think in terms of race (this doesn't mean we don't have discrimination issues, it's just different) because we tend to classify everyone as white. And besides, our main race issue right now is with Asians (Asian immigration is new to us), not black people.
Political correctness is not very important, BTW.
Third: mate. Someone somewhere will offer you it, no question. It's a tea-like drink, very bitter and our national drink. It's served with a metal straw from a shared hollow calabash gourd but you share the straw with all the people drinking with you. I hear that many foreigners are a little squicked by this. Don't clean the straw if you decide to try it. XP
Four: people here don't dance tango.
Fifth: the amount of physical contact and PDA here is probably going to shock you a lot and maybe make you uncomfortable. Making out with someone in a park is not frowned upon and it's quite common.
Also, you'll probably feel we're invading your personal space, because we get a lot closer to people. When you meet someone in an informal situation, people will try to kiss on the cheek. That's the normal way, even among guys. [Although they also shake hands.]

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*longwinded Argentinian is longwinded*

solesakuma
2008-04-16 11:56 pm UTC (link)

Six: we are very much crazy about friendship. We even have a Friend's Day. Along with Christmas and New Year's Eve, it's the only day where cell phones line crash.
Seventh: 9/11 is a holiday. Teacher's Day.
Eighth: we drive badly and crazily. I mean, buses try to outrun trains. We have the second highest death toll by traffic accidents in the world. Oh, and trains? Suck donkey balls. So basically, be careful. BA is quite normal, anyway.
Ninth: in BA, it rains a lot.
Tenth: there's quite a lot of hostility against Stereotypically Dumb Americans. You will be fighting against the stereotype, but most people are open and will like you if you're not an asshole.
Eleventh: we love meat and dulce de leche. Also, even if you're coming in Winter, eat ice-cream. It's delicious, even the very cheap ones.
We have a lot of pseudo-Italian food. Our pizza has more dough. The meat is great, but we cook it a lot. Fish is not so common. Our pastries are awesome. Eat empanadas.
Twelfth: football is the real religion.
Thirteenth: you can get everything you get in the USA. XP
Fourteenth: if you're bringing electrical appliances, you may want to check
Everything I said depends on where you are. Argentina is a big country and in that respect, BA is as different to, say, Córdoba as New York is to Philadelphia. And no, people don't know much about the differences between the Midwest and California.

OMG... that was a lot more TL:DR than I thought. >.<

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Re: *longwinded Argentinian is longwinded*

spacelogic
2008-04-17 12:54 am UTC (link)

Ooh, thank you very much! *saves the whole thing to hard drive for future reference* I knew some of this -- knew generally about the historical nastiness, knew generally about mate, and had heard a rumor about the police -- but for the most part I was completely in the dark. Especially useful to know about the homosexuality bit, 'cause my mum's been concerned that my being out will get me beaten up or something.

So would it be a good idea to do the standard "pretend to be a Canadian" thing, or is there still going to be significant negativity?

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	Re: longwinded Argentinian is longwinded solesakuma 2008-04-17 01:07 am UTC (link)
	Which uunviersity/school are you going to go to? Nah, don't even do the Canadian routine. People will be expecting you to make mistakes but mostly, if you're not an asshole, you'll get along with everyone. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: longwinded Argentinian is longwinded spacelogic 2008-04-17 01:12 am UTC (link)
	Universidad de Belgrano. I should probably visit their website at some point, actually.... Right-o, don't be an asshole, check. I usually only am one online, so that should be feasible. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	Re: kicks it off with Insanejournal/Twitter porn-ish crack willow 2008-04-16 07:30 am UTC (link)
	I love my Kooky smutwriting one :P hugs (Reply to this)(Parent)

	Re: kicks it off with Insanejournal/Twitter porn-ish crack chaimonkey 2008-04-16 08:43 am UTC (link)
	I think I just died and went to OTP!Heaven. w00.t. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	Re: kicks it off with Insanejournal/Twitter porn-ish crack darkrose 2008-04-16 08:45 am UTC (link)
	THIS IS SO WRONG! (and really fucking funny) (Reply to this)(Parent)

	Re: kicks it off with Insanejournal/Twitter porn-ish crack negativecosine 2008-04-16 09:38 am UTC (link)
	Hot. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	Re: kicks it off with Insanejournal/Twitter porn-ish crack ms_treesap 2008-04-16 12:51 pm UTC (link)
	:DDDDDDD anthropomor_fic! (Reply to this)(Parent)

	Re: kicks it off with Insanejournal/Twitter porn-ish crack princessjessia 2008-04-16 02:24 pm UTC (link)
	I really love you, bb. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	icedark_elf 2008-04-16 08:23 am UTC (link)
	Whee! It's like Porn Battle all over again. waits to see if anyone tosses up FFVII prompts that I can mutilate (Reply to this)

	darth_wanker 2008-04-16 03:55 pm UTC (link)
	Yay! Porn post is porny! Fandom: FF8 Characters: Quistis/Seifer, Quistis/Squall, Quistis/Irvine, or any combination of the above as long as Quistis is involved. Prompt: Give the girl an outlet for all that pent up sexual tension, will ya. (Reply to this)

	WOWIO joye 2008-04-16 04:07 pm UTC (link)
	When I tried to make an account it said that's only open to people in the US. Anyone know a free anonymizer based in the US? I'm guessing they do it based on IP address. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	Re: WOWIO joye 2008-04-16 07:49 pm UTC (link)
	I found a proxy that works. 24.166.45.100 Port 11055. However the registration process still requires proof of ID, so this method will really only help Americans overseas, I think. Or non-Americans that have American university/company addresses, or better hacking skills than I do. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	misswindy 2008-04-16 04:13 pm UTC (link)
	They have Spanish-language RPGs on IJ?? WHERE HAVE THEY BEEN HIDING??? I've been asking about them on my flist over there for ages. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	yuuko 2008-04-16 05:12 pm UTC (link)
	Ours is mansion_rpg, which is panfandom crack. We've only been around for a month and a half but it's been much fun so far. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	sparkysrevenge 2008-04-16 06:07 pm UTC (link)
	My parents were killed by criminals. Woe. I love dressing in black. Woe. But at least I'm the GODDAMN BATMAN. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	damien 2008-04-16 06:52 pm UTC (link)
	I'm evil. Evil! Evil, evil, evil, evil! I kill people. I killed my host body's father and skinned him in front of his other children. And I have spiky hair. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	sparkysrevenge 2008-04-16 06:55 pm UTC (link)
	Well, I have a mask. And a specially-designed cape. And I fight people like you. You're not perchance one of Falcone's henchmen, are you? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	damien 2008-04-16 10:53 pm UTC (link)
	Noooooo. I'm the spirit of hatred. And pointy-haired evil. You look tasty. Tell me more about these people you fight and hate? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	sparkysrevenge 2008-04-17 07:37 am UTC (link)
	You like bats? Long story short, some jerk killed my parents when I was a kid, the city's corrupt and the mob boss (Falcone) is in a league with the town villains. Oh, yeah, and my arch nemesis can't die. Ever. Every time he does, he manages to worm his way out of it. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	amxjm 2008-04-17 06:38 am UTC (link)
	"Indeterminate gender"? What are you talking about? (Reply to this)