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Cleolinda Jones (cleolinda) wrote in fandom_lounge,
@ 2008-04-30 17:19:00

Fresh blood in the wankosphere!
Twilight Moms: Already neglecting their kids and freaking the film production out, by their own admission. I, for one, look forward to future antics.

(Post a new comment)

livii
2008-04-30 10:27 pm UTC (link)

This summary of the book has me in tears:

A girl named Bella moves to Washington State to live with her dad. She's an ugly whiny loser, and nobody at her old school liked her; however, at her new school, all the boys think she's fabulous, because she's the biggest fucking Mary Sue on the planet, and Stephanie Meyer is a sex-starved Mormon. Anyway, despite her array of courters and her ~fabulous~ new friends, she meets a dazzling young guy named Edward Cullen, who is adopted and lives with a doctor and his wife (a proper artist with a knife) and his four-ish adopted brothers and sisters - idk, I kind of lost count. Anyway, one minute he hates her, one minute he loves her, he's like the biggest fucking cocktease in the whole world. Bella falls madly in love with him despite the fact that he's a stalker and treats her like shit, because female empowerment is for dykes, not fabulous young girls. So Edward ~dazzles~ her, frequently, and then oh yeah she finds out he's a vampire. He's like a hundred years old, and his "father" is four hundred. So basically he's a child molester. Some evil vampires come along, and one of them chases her to Phoenix, and the way that they all casually travel on planes really pissed me off, like it's so fucking easy to be 17 years-old and just pay for a plane ticket. I mean what the fuck was with that. Anyway, the evil vampire chased her to Phoenix, where he mom lived, and he fucked her up a bit, but they told everybody that she ~fell down some steps~. Oh yeah, and she went to the prom. The end.

Of course, it's easy to get me laughing on these ones, ever since I heard about the spaaaaaarkly vampires.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

	cleolinda 2008-04-30 10:40 pm UTC (link)
	a doctor and his wife (a proper artist with a knife) Anyway, the evil vampire chased her to Phoenix, where he mom lived, and he fucked her up a bit, but they told everybody that she ~fell down some steps~. Oh yeah, and she went to the prom. Is that in the comments? Because I didn't read through those (ONTD comments = toxic, obvs), but that's fantastic. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

livii, 2008-04-30 10:54 pm UTC

cmdr_zoom, 2008-04-30 10:58 pm UTC

khym_chanur, 2008-05-01 01:11 am UTC

livii, 2008-05-01 01:38 am UTC

(no subject) - dracothelizard, 2008-05-01 07:31 am UTC

bellichka, 2008-05-03 06:58 pm UTC

	shallow_kid 2008-04-30 11:09 pm UTC (link)
	That's a pretty good summary. I read all three books for lulz and they're awful, just awful. I hope the fandom really explodes a la Harry Potter. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	brennalarose 2008-04-30 11:33 pm UTC (link)
	Where's my staple gun? It'll save time if I just anchor the desk to my forehead. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

caffeine_fairy, 2008-05-01 04:14 pm UTC

	wolfsamurai 2008-05-01 12:18 am UTC (link)
	That sounds absolutely horrid. The summary is brilliant, but if it's anything near accurate I feel diminished just for inhabiting a world where such a crappy story can not only exist, but engender rabid stalker psycho fans. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

agent_hyatt, 2008-05-01 12:54 am UTC

cmdr_zoom, 2008-05-01 04:05 am UTC

	plazmah 2008-05-01 01:31 am UTC (link)
	it's easy to get me laughing on these ones, ever since I heard about the spaaaaaarkly vampires. Same here. I mean... SPARKLY VAMPIRES. You can't make this shit up! (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

livii, 2008-05-01 01:39 am UTC

squeakytoy, 2008-05-02 06:58 am UTC

	izzygal 2008-05-01 01:49 pm UTC (link)
	Bwahahaha Best summary of the book - EVER! (Reply to this)(Parent)

	lyssa 2008-05-01 10:47 pm UTC (link)
	You know, when I become a mother, I hope I won't lose my decent taste in literature. Maybe the CF are right that motherhood rots the brain if you end up thinking a book that horrifically bad is worth stalking film crews over. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	Repost eilisliana 2008-04-30 10:36 pm UTC (link)
	I've been avoiding reading these books for some time now. And I'm glad I haven't, because I can totally sidestep this fandom. (Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: Repost

hypno_jango
2008-04-30 11:27 pm UTC (link)

I avoided the books because of my aunt's summary of them.

"I love these books! OK, there's this girl and she meets this vampire who totally falls in love with her. He starts to visit her at her house but it's on the werewolves' territory and the werewolves are getting mad. Then this one werewolf is after her affections also and she's torn between the two of them. Don't these books sound great?"

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

nekoneko, 2008-04-30 11:32 pm UTC

notjo, 2008-04-30 11:55 pm UTC

nekoneko, 2008-04-30 11:57 pm UTC

wolfsamurai, 2008-05-01 12:13 am UTC

nekoneko, 2008-05-01 12:14 am UTC

lyssa, 2008-05-01 10:22 pm UTC

sarracenia, 2008-05-01 12:25 am UTC

come_love_sleep, 2008-05-01 01:15 am UTC

shark, 2008-05-01 01:47 am UTC

rosehiptea, 2008-05-01 05:11 am UTC

shark, 2008-05-01 05:14 am UTC

rosehiptea, 2008-05-01 05:22 am UTC

shark, 2008-05-01 05:23 am UTC

brown_betty, 2008-05-01 01:57 am UTC

tofuknight, 2008-05-01 03:58 am UTC

kosaginolegion, 2008-05-01 12:37 pm UTC

brennalarose, 2008-05-01 07:19 pm UTC

damien, 2008-05-03 10:06 am UTC

brown_betty, 2008-05-01 01:27 am UTC

pyratejenni, 2008-05-01 02:11 pm UTC

nekoneko, 2008-05-01 08:29 pm UTC

queencallipygos, 2008-05-05 07:38 pm UTC

	o_o 2008-05-01 12:27 am UTC (link)
	Bunch of Edna Pontellier wannabes. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	chibikaijuu 2008-05-01 03:25 pm UTC (link)
	snerk Tea! Up my nose! All you fault. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

o_o, 2008-05-02 08:16 am UTC

photosinensis
2008-05-01 01:01 am UTC (link)

*rolls eyes*

You know, I'll have to read the rest of the books (I've actually read the first), just to get the wank around here. I can see a shitstorm brewing over there: our old Harmonian friends have relocated to that fandom. And you know me, I can't avoid the batshit.

Also, from what I've read, there's got to be some good fanpr0n, and that's enough to get me to do any number of things, as we all know.

(Reply to this)

	khym_chanur 2008-05-01 01:17 am UTC (link)
	Holy shit, what's with all the sparkly text? Is that normal for ONTD, or Twilight's sparkly vampires have that effect on the fans? (Reply to this)(Thread)

	imp 2008-05-01 01:26 am UTC (link)
	Members of ONTD_Twilight (the only good Twilight community ever, as well as the only good thing that's ever come out of ONTD) have a habit of using huge sparkle text. It's our ~thing~. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

camilla, 2008-05-01 11:09 am UTC

chibikaijuu, 2008-05-01 03:29 pm UTC

iwanttobeasleep, 2008-05-02 01:48 am UTC

	eilisliana 2008-05-01 01:27 am UTC (link)
	Depends on how annoying/attention whorish someone wants to be. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	waitwut 2008-05-01 01:24 am UTC (link)
	A coworker of mine lurks at the Twilight Moms forum (only because she's not married, a mom, OR 25) and when I went to it, I went "oh god, the batshit" and I think I closed the browser to Make It Go Away. (Reply to this)

imp
2008-05-01 01:33 am UTC (link)

Twilight fandom is the wankiest fandom I've ever been in, and I'm speaking as someone who's been in a LOOOT of wanky fandoms.

We've got the Twilight Moms vs. everyone drama, since they're utterly insane and seem to think that we only dislike them because we're jealous. We've got the Edward vs. Jacob fans, the Edward fans insisting that Jacob is a rapist (he kissed Bella) and the Jacob fans insisting that Edward is a stalker who controls Bella's life (he sneaks in her room at night and watches her sleep, they each threaten to kill themselves whenever the other acts like they'll leave them). We've got ONTD_Twilight vs. everyone, since macros and not worshipping the books on the pedestal and sucking up to Smeyer is apparently the cancer that's killing fandom.

As for those wondering if the books are really as bad as they sound: Yes. Yes they are. Edward's eyes are described as liquid topaz on every other page, and it involves what is probably the most clingy, unhealthy, co-dependant relationship ever (but, of course, it is presented as PERFECT LOVE!).

So, you might be wondering: why, praytell, am I reading these books and being involved in this fandom if it's all so awful?

...I don't know. :|

Despite how often I tell myself that these books are utterly ridiculous, I can't stop reading them. ~~OMG THE MOVIE'S COMING OUT THIS YEAR YAYYY!!1~~ It's a guilty pleasure.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

	ellensmithee 2008-05-01 07:04 am UTC (link)
	I'd heard a lot of the HPers were switching to that fandom. I'm glad to hear they're keeping up (or down) to the old standards. sheds a tear That said, I glommed the books earlier this week so that I'll be in the know. ~~Someone will have to kill me if I get into that fandom.~~ (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

rose_tyler, 2008-05-01 08:19 am UTC

ellensmithee, 2008-05-01 09:10 am UTC

rose_tyler, 2008-05-01 09:53 am UTC

princessjessia, 2008-05-01 10:14 am UTC

rose_tyler, 2008-05-01 06:22 pm UTC

camilla, 2008-05-01 11:10 am UTC

chibikaijuu, 2008-05-01 03:35 pm UTC

nekoneko, 2008-05-01 08:31 pm UTC

chibikaijuu, 2008-05-01 08:40 pm UTC

penguinfaery, 2008-05-02 02:40 am UTC

the_mouse, 2008-05-05 03:48 pm UTC

imp, 2008-05-05 10:02 pm UTC

tintagel, 2008-05-07 04:51 pm UTC

	seiberwing 2008-05-01 01:37 am UTC (link)
	While I don't put anything past extremists, I get the feeling that article's a bit slanted to make them look even crazier as a whole. (Reply to this)(Thread)

eilisliana, 2008-05-01 01:40 am UTC

seiberwing, 2008-05-01 01:41 am UTC

eilisliana, 2008-05-01 01:43 am UTC

seiberwing, 2008-05-01 01:46 am UTC

eilisliana, 2008-05-01 01:53 am UTC

seiberwing, 2008-05-01 01:54 am UTC

msmanna, 2008-05-01 05:36 pm UTC

eilisliana, 2008-05-01 09:08 pm UTC

dez_chan, 2008-05-01 03:39 am UTC

phosfate, 2008-05-01 01:29 pm UTC

cleolinda, 2008-05-01 02:46 pm UTC

entropicdecay, 2008-05-02 01:48 pm UTC

julian_black, 2008-05-01 02:24 am UTC

seiberwing, 2008-05-01 03:00 am UTC

camilla, 2008-05-01 05:25 am UTC

julian_black, 2008-05-01 07:35 am UTC

camilla, 2008-05-01 09:16 am UTC

Volvo is my fandom -

julesnoctambule, 2008-05-01 07:37 pm UTC

Re: Volvo is my fandom -

julian_black, 2008-05-01 07:51 pm UTC

Re: Volvo is my fandom -

julesnoctambule, 2008-05-01 08:46 pm UTC

Re: Volvo is my fandom -

julian_black, 2008-05-02 02:45 am UTC

How do you say 'Ford can kiss my ass' in Swedish? -

julesnoctambule, 2008-05-02 03:36 am UTC

squeakytoy, 2008-05-02 06:57 am UTC

arien, 2008-05-03 01:08 am UTC

sorchar
2008-05-01 01:41 am UTC (link)

Duuuuude. You know, I briefly toyed with the idea of heading over to Madison High to see filming, but I quickly realized that, as I'm a mom in my late thirties and Rob Pattinson is a barely-legal piece of tender eye candy, that would be creepy. As much as I'm for "you're only as young as you feel" (and I'm way for it), there are some things that, while normal and expected of say, teenage girls, become skeevy to the extreme when done by women old enough to be the film star's mom.

Ogle in the privacy of your own home like the rest of us, ladies. Srsly.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

stinksap, 2008-05-01 02:33 am UTC

eilisliana, 2008-05-01 02:42 am UTC

chibikaijuu, 2008-05-01 08:47 pm UTC

sorchar, 2008-05-01 03:22 am UTC

julian_black, 2008-05-01 07:46 am UTC

telophase, 2008-05-01 02:11 pm UTC

	platedlizard 2008-05-01 02:28 am UTC (link)
	I live in Portland. So why have I not heard of these books, the movie, or this wonderfully batshit fandom? I think I'm going to have to start lurking just to watch the wank go down in my own backyard. (Reply to this)(Thread)

samhatesyou, 2008-05-01 08:33 am UTC

	cmdr_zoom 2008-05-01 03:55 am UTC (link)
	Lestat: the Next Generation (Reply to this)(Thread)

khym_chanur, 2008-05-01 04:29 am UTC

camilla, 2008-05-01 05:26 am UTC

rosehiptea
2008-05-01 05:19 am UTC (link)

If people must engage in creepyextreme fandom behavior, I wish they'd do it without saying "And I'm a MOM!" every five seconds. It makes normal fandom moms look bad. (OK, I'm not a normal fandom mom either but I draw the line at my unwanted presence on film sets.) I also don't see the need to say "I'm in the mom's section of the fandom unlike those teens" all the time but then I'm not in this fandom...

(Reply to this)(Thread)

lyssa, 2008-05-01 10:45 pm UTC

rosehiptea, 2008-05-01 11:25 pm UTC

	rani 2008-05-01 11:04 pm UTC (link)
	Honestly, all the bad/crazy press for these books is making me want to read them more. Are they so crap they're funny, or just...crap? (Reply to this)(Thread)

airie, 2008-05-02 04:51 pm UTC

arien, 2008-05-03 01:18 am UTC

julian_black, 2008-05-03 04:02 am UTC

damien, 2008-05-03 12:25 pm UTC

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