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	bienegold 2008-10-16 03:38 am UTC (link)
	zomg! Wom Wom Coconut! (I have nothing useful to contribute here.) (Reply to this)(Thread)

	tekenduis 2008-10-16 03:42 am UTC (link)
	The Wom is love. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	notjo 2008-10-16 06:49 am UTC (link)
	Have you gotten in touch with folks like Cerise (the online gaming magazine for women)? (Reply to this)(Thread)

	tekenduis 2008-10-17 01:09 am UTC (link)
	I haven't, mainly because I don't have any prior contact with these folks, and I don't want to pop into an online forum just to ask people to respond to a survey if I'm not already active there. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	brown_betty 2008-10-18 12:07 am UTC (link)
	I know them, but honestly, this is probably the eighteenth “Get your girlfriend to game!” article they've seen in the last two months, so… I mean, even if phrased “SO” rather girlfriend, your reception might not be as warm as it could be. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	tekenduis 2008-10-18 02:01 am UTC (link)
	I figured that it probably comes up a fair bit, since it's sort of natural to want to share interests with our partners in life. Still, I've had a lot of responses over on my journal already, and much of what is being said is sort of what I expected to hear, boys being boys, as they sometimes are. :) (Reply to this)(Parent)

	sgtgeorgecarter 2008-10-16 04:26 pm UTC (link)
	I never bothered because it never works. If they aren't interested, they aren't. Not that this helps you in any way. You also might want to consider WOW and their ilk in the types of games. (Reply to this)(Thread)

kadath
2008-10-16 05:22 pm UTC (link)

I never bothered because it never works. If they aren't interested, they aren't.

If your relationship is solid, your SO should be willing to give your stupid hobby a try in good faith, as long as you reciprocate by trying one of their stupid hobbies. Doesn't mean they're going to like it, and you have to shut up about it if that's the way things turn out, but a "hey, I'd really love it if you tried D&D" is totally within the bounds of a healthy relationship.

I agree that it's easier to just date gamers right out of the gate, though. ;)

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	sgtgeorgecarter 2008-10-16 05:40 pm UTC (link)
	We actually worked it out so they took the time I gamed to do things that I didn't enjoy with their friends. It worked out well. We each maintained time with our individual friends and no hostility was created. I count it win-win. But for the most part, my SOs have been gamers of one kind or another. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	tekenduis 2008-10-17 01:40 am UTC (link)
	One of my exes had actually done this with a former girlfriend of his. He agreed to try her stupid hobby if she'd try his. When I met him, she was still a roleplayer (although she was now dating his DM.. ouch) and he still knitted. He made the most awesome scarves. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	tekenduis 2008-10-17 01:10 am UTC (link)
	I can't write an article on WoW for a magazine published by Another Game Company. ;) (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	sgtgeorgecarter 2008-10-17 01:24 am UTC (link)
	Obviously not that game specifically but on-line gaming seems conspicuously absent. Mud/Muck/Mush as well as WOW and the derivatives and similars, evercrack etc. They are not like LJ games or AIM games at all. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

tekenduis
2008-10-17 01:30 am UTC (link)

It's hard to explain without giving away the name of the company and magazine, but Pen and Paper roleplaying is the focus of the magazine, and therefore the focus of the article.

In question 3 I do invite people to tell me what kind of gaming they do, and I've had at least one person answer as an online roleplayer who doesn't play Pen and Paper. Most of the rest of the questions can be (and have been) answered with any sort of gaming in mind.

I didn't want to make the questions either too general, or too specific.

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	sgtgeorgecarter 2008-10-17 01:36 am UTC (link)
	I see your dilemma. simply say that's the focus but invite non pen and paper people to answer what they can. Alternately you can ask gamers who participate in both types how their experiences differ (if they do differ). (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

tekenduis
2008-10-17 01:42 am UTC (link)

The introduction specifically invites gamers (I didn't specify that you had to be a pen and paper gamer) and non gamers of all stripes to respond, as I'm interested in a diverse range of answers. I've had half a dozen people respond who are Online Only roleplayers, four of whom have never played anything but MUCKS and MMOs, along with a couple people who have never roleplayed before.

I'd rather not ask about how their experiences differ, as it is an irrelevant question for the purposes of the article. :)

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	sgtgeorgecarter 2008-10-17 01:52 am UTC (link)
	Funny, I naturally assumed pen and paper gamer. Maybe that's just my age showing. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	cassildra 2008-10-16 06:08 pm UTC (link)
	If you'd like, I could post this in my own LJ--I have a bunch of gamers on my friends list. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	tekenduis 2008-10-17 01:03 am UTC (link)
	I would very much appreciate that, if you don't mind doing so! I'd like to get as much exposure as I can. :) (Reply to this)(Parent)

kamiki_seto
2008-10-17 03:36 am UTC (link)

Not going to work for, I think, most. I have a very good, firm idea of the types of things II do and don't like, and though I've never tried gaming in any form,I'm familiar with what is involved and I know it's not something I would find interesting or enjoyable.

I definitely wouldn't appreciate it if my SO tried to entice, cajole, nag, plead, guilt-trip, or push me into trying it. I don't HAVE to give it a 'fair chance'; I'm old enough to know my own tastes, we've been together long enough for him to know and appreciate mine, and I'd be a bit upset if he tried to push the issue.

This works both ways, definitely. I don't expect him to join in with or 'sample' my obsession with, for example, the history of the Manhattan Project.

I can see doing the 'you try mine, I'll try yours' thing in a very new relationship when you're still learning about each other. But for something more established (like, a couple of decades) it strikes me as an issue perhaps best left alone.

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tekenduis
2008-10-17 03:48 am UTC (link)

That's fine, and this article isn't going to change your mind. Thing is? It isn't meant to.

If you wouldn't even give it a moment's consideration when your SO asked you to try their hobby out and see if you might enjoy it, then the article is useless to them and to you. It won't be useless to everyone, though.

There's a large contingent of people out there who are curious about the hobby and have either had a bad experience that put them off of it... who have heard too many negative stereotypes to be comfortable... who want to get into a group but are worried about being treated poorly because they're new, or they're female or whatever. This one's for them. And the people they do game with, or want to game with.

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caito
2008-10-19 02:37 pm UTC (link)

I think this is probably a gaming company trying to get new p(l)aying customers, and their best bet is generally to go after people willing to try new things and take up new hobbies.

While I think that a lot of people are like you, and aren't going to try something they know they won't like, I don't think you could say this kind of thing wouldn't work for most. There's the "new relationship" thing (that's how I wound up in D&D), but there's also people in long-term relationships who, for whatever reason, are willing to try something new for the sake of the other.

Or, maybe you're right, and this tactic wouldn't work for most. But it doesn't seem like this article is meant for the "drag your longterm partner kicking and screaming into your campaign!" crowd. I think it's supposed to be more like, "Want to make your game more girlfriend/boyfriend-friendly? Here's some ideas!"

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	sepiamagpie 2008-10-17 05:59 am UTC (link)
	:( I've gotten all sorts of people, SOs and otherwise, into games and such that I'm into with no problem. Just to say there's exceptions to the 'it will never work!' I find the trick is to let them see you have lots of fun. (Reply to this)