Astro Boy's Caucasian Makeover
Note: This rant and the linked article refer to the upcoming Astro Boy CGI movie. If you are at all familiar with the source material, you will probably be offended by this article. Also, I hope none of you out there are big on Science Ninja Team Gatchaman, as Imagi promises that since "it is not as well known as Astro Boy, the project, about five super-powered teens fighting monsters, is open to interpretation. 'We’re kind of making up our own version based on the original 1970s cartoon.' "

http://www.star-ecentral.com/news/story.asp?file=/2009/1/4/movies/2871865&sec=movies

At the risk of pushing this into i_wank territory, WHAT THE FUCK. I mean, seriously. WHAT THE FUCK are you people thinking?

You did not just seriously say that you want to make Astro 'less feminine' because he has large eyes and, oh no, EYELASHES? He's a FREAKING 6-year-old-analogue ROBOT. What, are you worried about robo-pedophiles or something? It's not like he has tiny little robot-boy nipples to put pasties over, or a tiny little robot e-peen to cover up.

You did not just seriously argue with the goddamn Tezuka estate about the size of his ASS.

You did not just seriously say that you didn't MEAN to make a legendary Japanese iconic character look "American" but that it just kinda happened.

Just plain fucking NO. A huge bag of no.

(edit to fix URL)

(Post a new comment)

	sheep 2009-01-06 10:37 am UTC (link)
	Hi, I'm an Avatar fan, nice to meet you! http://www.journalfen.net/community/unfunnybusiness/58603.html (Reply to this)

	ariadne484 2009-01-06 01:50 pm UTC (link)
	Another Avatar fan here, sharing your pain. That sounds disgusting. (Reply to this)

	arionhunter 2009-01-06 02:12 pm UTC (link)
	Apparently even child superheroes can't escape gay spandex panic. (Reply to this)

	aloysius 2009-01-06 02:30 pm UTC (link)
	This is why, if we want a reimagined Atom, we stick to Pluto! (Reply to this)(Thread)

	demonoflight 2009-01-06 06:39 pm UTC (link)
	Oh gosh I love Pluto's Atom. He works so well. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	jrandomlurker 2009-01-06 06:45 pm UTC (link)
	Very much agree with the love for Pluto. But it hasn't updated for a while, has it? ... OH. It just did today! gleefully goes to read (Reply to this)(Parent)

	bigbigtruck 2009-01-06 09:21 pm UTC (link)
	Naoki Urasawa AND Tezuka? I how did i not know of this wonder (Reply to this)(Parent)

	suziecroft 2009-01-06 10:12 pm UTC (link)
	...my evening, where did it go? (Reply to this)(Parent)

	dawnswalker 2009-01-06 10:24 pm UTC (link)
	Preach it! (Reply to this)(Parent)

	hallidae 2009-01-07 12:29 am UTC (link)
	::looks at clock:: Holy Christ, how long was I reading? (Reply to this)(Parent)

	coffeebun 2009-01-07 02:47 am UTC (link)
	Tezuka and Urasawa. Tezuka and Urasawa. how did i not know of this my brain just exploded (Reply to this)(Parent)

	erototoxin 2009-01-06 09:03 pm UTC (link)
	Boys don't have eyelashes? (Reply to this)(Thread)

	sparkthatbled 2009-01-06 10:00 pm UTC (link)
	Not in cartoons they don't! Otherwise how would you tell 'em apart from the girls!? (Reply to this)(Parent)

	dawnswalker 2009-01-06 10:27 pm UTC (link)
	The CG Astroboy just becomes more and more of a travesty the more I hear about it. You'd think they would have learned from the 90s America-friendly Astroboy series that this shit never works. (Reply to this)

	sgtgeorgecarter 2009-01-06 10:59 pm UTC (link)
	70's er.... no. And Fail to trying to remake Astro Boy anyways. (Reply to this)

	aeka 2009-01-06 11:11 pm UTC (link)
	Unfortunately this is one out of MANY popular anime franchises Hollywood wants to make a US version of. :( Here's a not-so-complete list of titles they're remaking. Needless to say the news of a Hollywood adaptation of Akira brought tears to my eyes. :( (Reply to this)(Thread)

	iwanttobeasleep 2009-01-06 11:30 pm UTC (link)
	Leonardi DiCaprio is a way better actor then he gets credit for but that is SO WRONG. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	aeka 2009-01-06 11:34 pm UTC (link)
	I heard that he's actually going to be producing the movie not starring in it, but still very wrong nonetheless. So much is going to be lost from the original story by Americanising it. :( (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	sgaana 2009-01-07 01:59 am UTC (link)
	I don't even see how you COULD Americanize it. Which is closely followed by being unable to see WHY YOU WOULD EVER CONCEIVE TO DO SO. BECAUSE IT IS WRONG. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	hallidae 2009-01-07 04:22 am UTC (link)
	Lana Lang is playing Chun-li? Fuck, I'm not gonna be able to watch that movie without expecting some serious damsel-in-distress mode. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	aerobot 2009-01-07 01:18 pm UTC (link)
	GHOST IN THE SHELL ARE YOU KIDDING ME RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE Oh god if they cast some blonde white chick as the Major I swear to god I will collect heads (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	ariadne484 2009-01-07 11:37 pm UTC (link)
	I offer you my icon's sword, because, my God, what a world of fail that would be. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	moonjaguar 2009-01-07 03:22 am UTC (link)
	Imagi presents an Astro Boy remake starring the Big Boy mascot's skinny twin brother. (Reply to this)

	chibikaijuu 2009-01-13 08:51 pm UTC (link)
	You know, having merely glanced at it, I would have assumed they had simply decided to make him appear older more than anything else. But no, they just felt the need to fuck with the design for American audiences. Great. (Reply to this)

pfeffermuse
2009-01-31 05:26 am UTC (link)

Not to say racism and bigotry ever really goes out of style in this country, but da-amn!

If American audiences didn't have a problem with the Japanese Astro Boy of the 1960s -- while memories and emotions were still extremely fresh about WWII -- why in ghod's name would the suits feel they have to Americanise the character fifty years later?

There's always been a stench coming from Hollywood. But this? This is the putrefied "is it soup, yet" remains of any claim that Tinsel Town holds to creativity or originality.

(Reply to this)