(Post a new comment)

	keri 2009-03-23 03:07 am UTC (link)
	I'm confused. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	eleutheria 2009-03-23 03:11 am UTC (link)
	Yeah, that makes two of us. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	hitwoman 2009-03-23 03:13 am UTC (link)
	Make that three. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	pet 2009-03-23 03:23 am UTC (link)
	Er, four. And counting, I'd guess. I have NO idea. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	sandglass 2009-03-23 03:14 am UTC (link)
	Among fairly PC groups, I've noticed a trend towards it being unacceptable to use gay=bad, but using girls/ladies/women=bad is still acceptable. Like, "That's so gay" vs "Hurry up, ladies" (directed at a group of men or mixed gender). Didn't think it was that confusing a concept. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

keri
2009-03-23 03:21 am UTC (link)

OH.

I honestly couldn't tell if you were responding to people who don't use gay-as-in-bad around men, but do around women, or if you were responding to people who use the term gay instead of lesbian, or something like that.

It totally didn't occur to me that you were talking about "ladies" or "girls" or the like as a pejorative term.

But I agree with you now that I know what you meant.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	It always makes sense in my head, you see. sandglass 2009-03-23 03:27 am UTC (link)
	Ooooh, I think I see where the disconnect is happening. Better, oh bewildered masses? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: It always makes sense in my head, you see. keri 2009-03-23 03:34 am UTC (link)
	Yes, that definitely clears it up for me! Also, now that it's sparkling, I didn't even realize anyone who isn't a Coach Barkken type still uses ladies/girls/women like that. Are these people trying to be "ironic" or something? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: It always makes sense in my head, you see. white_serpent 2009-03-23 03:43 am UTC (link)
	I didn't even realize anyone who isn't a Coach Barkken type still uses ladies/girls/women like that. Nah; it happens all the time. Consider my personal pet peeve: "cried like a little girl." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: It always makes sense in my head, you see. puipui 2009-03-23 10:43 am UTC (link)
	When my daughter was in Girl Scouts, they used to use "cried like a little boy" instead. It's that sort of thing that makes me want to buy more Girl Scout cookies. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	Re: It always makes sense in my head, you see. sandglass 2009-03-23 03:47 am UTC (link)
	Just like people haven't stopped using gay=bad, they haven't stopped using female synonym=bad either. I wouldn't complain about the irony. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: It always makes sense in my head, you see. keri 2009-03-23 03:48 am UTC (link)
	I guess I'm lucky to be antisocial enough to never be around people who would use it, or at least, never in situations where they do. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	Re: It always makes sense in my head, you see. hitwoman 2009-03-23 04:45 am UTC (link)
	Much much better. Thanks for the clarification! I guess I just don't hear it used as an insult, or if I do, I don't pick up on it. I'm betting I'll be more aware now, though. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	rosehiptea 2009-03-23 04:51 am UTC (link)
	I get tired of the terms "chick flick" and "chick lit" even though people aren't always using them pejoratively. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	doyle 2009-03-23 11:31 am UTC (link)
	Me too. I started buying Mike Gayle's books when he said something on the Guardian blogs along the lines of "so how come when me or Tony Parsons or Nick Hornby writes this stuff it's a brilliant insight into the human condition, but when a woman writes it it's chick-lit?" <3 (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	notjo 2009-03-23 02:42 pm UTC (link)
	I hate the entire dismissal of the genre that basically is "We go shopping for shoes and drink martinis" as being silly or worthless - cuz, as we all know, westerns and car racing books and mysteries are all deep and meaningful as opposed to simply escapist. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	queencallipygos 2009-03-23 03:18 pm UTC (link)
	I'll admit, I'm one of the people who does dismiss that genre -- but not quite for that same reason. It's more that I don't like that particular flavor of escapism and prefer a mystery instead (or, in my case, something by Douglas Adams). (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	notjo 2009-03-23 03:23 pm UTC (link)
	Oh yeah - I don't really enjoy that particular brand of escapism either. But I don't think this makes the genre stupid and a waste of time, like some I know. It just doesn't appeal to me. Neither does military sci-fi. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	tangentialone 2009-03-23 05:32 am UTC (link)
	Fffffffffff well MY pet peeve is people using "oversensitive" to try to dismiss perfectly valid complaints like that one--to try to justify to themselves why they don't need to change or even think about their fucking words before they say them. "HURF DURF THIS ISN'T A REAL PROBLEM, YOU'RE JUST OVERSENSITIVE." rage is in perfect agreement with you (Reply to this)(Thread)

	sandglass 2009-03-23 05:41 am UTC (link)
	Yeah that too! I'm realizing "Oversensitive" and "Easily offended" are measured against what straight, white* men find offensive. It's only a problem if someone can see it through their veil of privilege, and if you aren't wearing one too that's your fault. *other adjectives included, obviously (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	tangentialone 2009-03-23 05:43 am UTC (link)
	Ugh, yeah. That's exactly the attitude that enrages me; you've put it perfectly. -_- (Reply to this)(Parent)

	tangentialone 2009-03-23 05:44 am UTC (link)
	PS, I love your icon. So appropriate. @_@ (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	sandglass 2009-03-23 05:45 am UTC (link)
	You can gank it if you'd like, credit is in the note in my userinfo. I wish I could find the post it came from, alas. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	tangentialone 2009-03-23 05:51 am UTC (link)
	Awesome! ganks for LJ, with credit (Reply to this)(Parent)

	white_serpent 2009-03-23 02:36 pm UTC (link)
	http://www.journalfen.net/community/fwank_icons/209014.html#cutid1 (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	tangentialone 2009-03-24 01:44 am UTC (link)
	Awesome! ninja-edits the userpic comment to have the link (Reply to this)(Parent)

	sarajayechan 2009-03-23 10:20 pm UTC (link)
	I HATE THAT SO MUCH. That and people who dismiss valid complaints as someone "trying to make trouble". FOAMS AT THE MOUTH!!! (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	sandglass 2009-03-23 10:25 pm UTC (link)
	Well, you know, all us feminists are just looking for reasons to get upset, right? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	icon directed at feminist bashers, not you sarajayechan 2009-03-23 10:27 pm UTC (link)
	Totally, I mean, it's not like we want anything IMPORTANT. Just equal rights and fair treatment, silly little things like that. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: icon directed at feminist bashers, not you sandglass 2009-03-23 10:30 pm UTC (link)
	And it's not like sexism becomes blisteringly obvious when you're a woman. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: icon directed at feminist bashers, not you sarajayechan 2009-03-23 10:33 pm UTC (link)
	It's all in our silly female heads...just like PMS! (Another "favorite" of mine) (Reply to this)(Parent)

	tangentialone 2009-03-24 01:39 am UTC (link)
	Oh yeah. Fuck that, pointing out that trouble exists isn't making it. What is this... Schroedinger's Trouble? If nobody points it out, maybe it doesn't exist? >O (Reply to this)(Parent)

GRAR

starfish
2009-03-23 11:10 am UTC (link)

Teah, "Throws like a girl" ... "Runs like a girl"

There's a great icon series on LJ with pictures of, like, Zoe from Firefly, and Buffy, and Xena, and Sydney Bristow (Alias) and the text is "Fights like a girl." Makes me happy every time I see it. (Of course, the owners of the icons are usually using them to point out injustice against women, but the icons themselves make me happy.)

(Reply to this)(Thread)

	Re: GRAR notjo 2009-03-23 02:39 pm UTC (link)
	There's t-shirts like that, too. I <3 them. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	Re: GRAR hallidae 2009-03-23 03:51 pm UTC (link)
	Oh, that reminds me of a piece on deviantart, where it was all the female badasses from Avatar with the caption "What's wrong with fighting like a girl?" I wish I could find it again. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	Re: GRAR pharae 2009-03-24 12:48 pm UTC (link)
	You just reminded me of this shirt. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	notjo 2009-03-23 02:40 pm UTC (link)
	My "favourite"? "Wow, that's so lame. And retarded." From so-called progressives. No wonder PWD don't fucking exist. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	persona 2009-03-23 08:35 pm UTC (link)
	Lame especially is common. Most people simply do not realise that it is offensive and will stop when called out. However, most people who use 'retarded' have no excuse. :\ (Reply to this)(Parent)

	kerryblaze 2009-03-24 12:35 am UTC (link)
	Lame does mean (from Oxford Dictionary): unconvincingly feeble and dull and uninspiring. I don't think it's an offensive word at all. It's not slang at all. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	notjo 2009-03-24 12:38 am UTC (link)
	Okay! (Reply to this)(Parent)

tangentialone
2009-03-24 02:06 am UTC (link)

What do you use? I kind of want to not use "sucks" anymore after seeing some comment recently along the lines of, "There's a reason 'cocksucker' is an insult; scratch homophobia and find mysogyny". Seems like the same thing, even if "sucks" is semi-divorced from sexual connotations, y/n?

I mean, I want a semi-forceful way to say I don't like something but, without the collateral damage plz. -_-

(I mean... "Wow, that's terrible/stupid/asinine" expresses the sentiment, but it's lacking something... "Wow, that's full of fail" is great on the internet, but offline? :/ "Wow, that's fucking awful" has maybe a little too much force, plus isn't appropriate for places with a no-swearing policy. But fuck, there must be SOMEthing I can use all the time in good conscience. @_@ It can't just be that derogatory mainstream slang always comes from something objectionable, can it?)

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	notjo 2009-03-24 02:12 am UTC (link)
	I often use stupid or pathetic, call people jerks or jackasses, or roll my eyes and take the sarcasm route. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	tangentialone 2009-03-24 02:20 am UTC (link)
	Yeah... I like slanginess, but maybe I should keep it to the internet where I can use "fail" and memespeak and people will know what I mean and how I mean it. I guess there's also the generalized sympathy noises--"Ewwww", "Aw, man" for small stuff (stuck in traffic, donut shop was out of the ones with sprinkles, etc., where "that's awful" is TOO much and sounds sarcastic). (Reply to this)(Parent)

	tree 2009-03-27 12:58 pm UTC (link)
	Although, to be contrary, what is so wrong about masturbation that calling somebody a masturbator makes it an insult? And donkeys are really nice and useful animals. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	soy_latte 2009-03-23 05:36 pm UTC (link)
	At a place I used to work at, I had a guy say something like "let's pull our tampons out and get to work." I was the only girl working at the time and I was pissed enough to call him out on it. He was the nicest guy and I know he didn't really mean bad, but come on. (Reply to this)

	belafarinrod 2009-03-23 10:11 pm UTC (link)
	The circles I hang in tend to be pretty equal about that - that is, if they care about one they care about them all. Bad things aren't gay or girly, but I know that's a pretty sheltered part of the net. (Reply to this)

	sarajayechan 2009-03-23 10:25 pm UTC (link)
	I hate that. I also hate when BIG BAD MANLY MEN wannabes diss on sensitive or cultured men by saying shit like "loosen your girdle" or "aww, forgot your purse?" or other borderline homophobic crap that should warrant a punch to the mouth. (Reply to this)

	nostariel 2009-03-26 01:28 am UTC (link)
	But didn't you know that girls are stupid and weak and all things bad in the universe? It's only natural that we use it as a pejorative term! `/eyeroll` (Reply to this)

	tree 2009-03-27 12:59 pm UTC (link)
	Agreed. My husband does this regularly and there is much arguing. (Reply to this)