Fandom Wank Lives!

tetradecimal] 07:52am - Hideo Kojima to judge Twilight fanart contest

Just a light wanky snack.

Facts:
(1) Hideo Kojima is the creator of the Metal Gear Solid series.
(2) He is a fan of Twilight.
(3) He will be in ur Pixiv, judging ur Twilight fanart. Also, winner gets an autographed copy of MGS4: Guns of the Patriots.

( Metal Gear fans: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO )

ETA: ONTD post. Thanks to:

vitalitat.

(114 wanks | kerfluffle!)

Saturday
October 31

[

istaerlus] 08:43pm - I refuse to return your stolen tablet until you buy me a better one

Over on FurAffinity Kitara makes a journal about the theft of her tablet (the original journal is on the bottom half and the update is on the top half). She says she lent it to Recca_se_li and it was then either stolen by Razr or Recca lent it to Razr. Either way Razr refuses to answer any of Kitara's emails or text messages on the subject. Kitara then updates same journal (top half) when she manages to contact Razrs roomate/master/girlfriend/sockpuppet knowstobite. Knowstobite insists that the tablet was given to Razrs by Recca as a parting gift and that he will only return it once Kitara gives him another tablet of same or better quality.

Recca says Razrs has also stolen from him and owes him money

ICEman goes on Heidi patrol and internet lawyers

Kitara posts another journal where she shares a conversation she had with Knowstobite The conversation is tl;dr but the gist of it is Knowstobite thinks Razr has done nothing wrong by willfully accepting and keeping property he knows is stolen and again insists Kitara sends a new tablet to Razrs before she receives the original back.

Knowstobite shows up to share her two cents

Knowstobite also posted a journal on the subject of the tablet
The edited version
Screen caps thanks to Nightfurson of the original version in which knowstobite tries to raise money to buy Razr a new tablet.

Screen capt comments from Knowstobite's first journal where we find out Razr just made over $200 dollars on a commission and can easily buy himself a new tablet with that money.
the furbuy auction (half a NSFW picture)

At some point Recca also started taking donation money to buy Kitara a new tablet even though Kitara explicitly said she doesn't want a new one, she wants her old one back for sentimental value. Questions are raised as to what happens to the donation money after Kitara receives her old tablet back. Unfortunately I can't find the original post where Recca says this, just a comment referring to it.

There is much internet lawyering throughout.

ETA: There appears to be a happy ending after all Kitara posts a new journal saying she got the tablet back.

(156 wanks | kerfluffle!)

[

galateus] 09:23am - This wank based on true events. [now with baleetion]

I read the strangest rant today. How strange you say? So strange no one can agree just whether it's even a rant at all!

OP replies to requests to clarify, a few times, while a brave idealist attempts first contact, before realizing only a sucker would try to breach such impenetrable walls of WTF.

A random potshot at someone's fic-writing skills prompts the best simile ever.

The more persistent commenters dig through the layers of Bizarro-talk until they uncover the truth: OP is... 'anti-criticism'?

PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE SMILEYS.

And shattered idealism is shattered.

ETA: aslongasitlasts has studied the people of FFR. He's like a magic 8-ball, in a way.

And wank_report has some too.

ETA2: Modly intervention. But he wants to be banned. No, really.

ETA s'more: Post got blanked and F-locked. Comm membership is open, though.

The ETA Apocalypse Now: Comments are being baleeted at random, and the original post is replaced by the preface to The Picture of Dorian Gray. It's the final troll blowout, people.

ETA Captain Obvious:: Oh, so that's what started it. Taunting the mod, and then deleting comments (A no-no in ffr^2). He's banned now, but you wouldn't know because the mod comment that said that is... deleted!

ETA Cry For Justice: There are 409 Google caches of the wank still with pre-baleetion comments. Saving the ones I can before they update.

(154 wanks | kerfluffle!)

Monday
October 26

[

anarchicq] 01:15pm - This wanklet was brought to you by the letters T & A...
mood: Righteous

Caution: There are some NSFW links in the forums.

So!
A while ago on the ToughPigs forum, there was discussion about American Apparel making Sesame Street shirts.

Most of the comments were "...huh..."

One such shirt was, as I call it, Big Metro Bird. Then most of the comments became "...ew." followed by a rousing chorus of "hipster douches!"

One poster asks how this is any worse than this Miss Piggy center-fold. (Yes, you read that right.)

So, ToughPigs bloggers look around while the forum talks about the merits of Sex Sells and how America just have to get over Naked Boobies. Finally ToughPigs comes across an ad featuring a girl with her snootchie hanging out, while wearing a Sesame Street T-shirt. They blog, with some scathing words to American Apparel.

And then, it turns out Sesame Street, in fact, did NOT agree to do this team up with AA, even though the spokespeople for AA insisted that they did...

Comments are generally amusing and shocked (Shocked!) and of the "My childhood!" variety.

(86 wanks | kerfluffle!)

Friday
October 23

[

tetradecimal] 03:14pm - DON'T. TELL. CHIIBIUSA. TO. CALM. DOWN.

C&P'd from wank_report:

"The original post was deleted, but there's caps a'plenty at sf_drama. These are probably the most complete: http://pics.livejournal.com/halrenna/pic/000e0zr0

So. chiibiusa, co-mod of sm_secrets, announces in sailormoonfans that she's thinking of shutting down the comm (at least temporarily, but possibly for good), because there aren't enough secrets being submitted, and she's tired of it. The first commenter, tenchichan, suggests that chiibiusa needs to calm down.

DON'T. TELL. CHIIBIUSA. TO. CALM. DOWN.

Cue raeg, increasingly incoherent responses, a small amount of "OMG don't leave us we love you!" fangirling, and some sighs from people who thought their comm had outgrown this shit.

Then the whole thing hits sf_drama: http://community.livejournal.com/sf_drama/2556609.html?page=1#comments

Bringing chiibiusa with it: http://community.livejournal.com/sf_drama/2556609.html?thread=404234945#t404234945

She is STILL replying to comments left on the sf_d post, as well as randomly friending comm members. There are rumors of a post waiting in the sf_d mod queue, presumably telling us all how gullible we are for falling for her trolling, and how we've all been lol!pwnd! There's been a few comments from people who claim to know her and say that this is really unlike her, so it's possible that this is all leading up to the classic "I GOT HACKED!" defense."

ETA! Chiibiusa flounces: "i amno longer updating this journal from now until ever. and 'ever' is subjective is until i am ready to open it back up again."

Aptly, she's back for more. I guess in the recession, the exchange rate for 'ever' is approximately 45 minutes.

ETA 2: Oh, lordy, more posts. Courtesy of

sistrelwood.

ETA 3: *facepalm* First rule of fight club, y'all.

(221 wanks | kerfluffle!)

Monday
October 19

[

gusty] 07:25pm - Mods behaving badly.

On the FurAffinity forums Techiewolf makes a post asking if they could help with the coding of the site. For years now, the site has been promising the arrival of a brand new version of the site's coding called 'Ferrox'. 'Ferrox' could be considered sort of a Duke Nukem Forever thing, as very little progress seems to have been made (if any) and there's no definite release date. The user is informed that any coding help needed would be towards 'Ferrox' rather than the site's current code. All goes fairly uneventfully until Vitae (a former mod) comments: "I wouldn't bother trying to help, every time someone does try they're just shunned and tossed into the garbage at the end."

Mod Tsawolf, who also is a coder for the site, doesn't like this sentiment one bit. So he decides to make a post allowing users to decide what Vitae's punishment should be via poll:

Hello, everyone! It's tsawolf, your (second) favorite mainsite ops nerd! You're probably wondering exactly what the hell this thread is all about - and for good reason! A user posted a thread asking how they could help out with the mainsite coding. Several people were helpful, some were... not so much.

(quotes Vitae's post here)

When I read this, I became a sad techie. FurAffinity loves when people help out! Rather than have the administration punish Vitae unilaterally, like we normally would, I decided to do something a little more... fitting. Since Vitae was complaining about how useless helping out is, I decided to put their punishment in your hands. Directly above me, there are several poll options. Whichever poll option has the most votes at the end of tomorrow (that is, 00:43 Wednesday, EDT) will be Vitae's punishment. Feel free to suggest your own in the thread as well!

Some folks jump right on the bandwagon and start suggesting punishments. Others, however, aren't too thrilled at the idea of someone being called out and punished for having an opinion.

LadyMissie: "Someone stated an opinion? Holy mother of FUCK. You have some serious butthurt. God damn."
blackfuredfox: "welcome to life. this is how things function in life with EVERYTHING. after awhile you stop giving a shit and join in.

And some people are just there for the laughs:

Brazen: "Permanently change his username/title to Lord Sillynipples, and his avatar to a pair of cartoon boobs wearing tophats and monocles."

Takumi_L:"Man I failed a test today but I told my professor that there was some SRS furry drama on the internet so he passed me."

And finally, mod Carenath expresses their opinion of people upset by the post:"Okay, so we have established, that you guys have absolutely nothing better to do, you all win 9000 internets *roll eyes*"

It's interesting to note that for a brief period the thread was closed, and then reopened, the reason for which was never mentioned.

ETA: On Tsawolf's user page, LeoMidori asks: "Excuse me, I know I'm not a moderator or anything, but is this really the appropriate way to act? This is public humiliation."

Tsawolf replies: "As I explained in the thread you linked, the punishment (or rather, the decision thereof) fits the crime. It can hardly be considered public humiliation when the user chose to make the post in the first place! :)"

(131 wanks | kerfluffle!)

Monday
October 12

[

lady_ganesh] 08:54pm - Icons, as you know, are serious business.

Thanks to the mouse on

wank_report.

smallblackangel posts a rant to

bad_rpers_suck, as you do.

Yes, my character IS using the default layout for his LJ. Why? Because he doesn't give a fuck about the specific layout his online journal that he won't really use much anyway has. No, I will not make it "prettier" because you feel as if my lack of SUPERSPESHULAWESOME layout makes it seem as if I don't "care" even though I just spent two hours filling out your term paper length application.

A perfectly cromulent rant!

The trouble comes in the comments, where

puzzley, who is-- this is important to note, mostly agreeing with the OP, says:

However, if you were playing from those old games where the characters are 2D sprites and thus not very expressive at all, it's understandable that they'd ask you to turn to doujinshi for better faces.

And smallblackangel says:

Icons are not important.

...that's about it.

Things go pretty asplodey from there.

Highlights include, but are not limited to:

Honestly, RPing without prose is what I consider lazy shit. The beginning of comment spam caused a serious downturn of RP on LJ.

First off. You, sir/madam (meaning puzzley, lest anyone get confused) are coming off as either a) Batshit crazy b) lazy as hell c) horrifically uninformed or d) a Troll. I'm not quite sure which.

And the one comment in the flood that actually makes sense:

It's all about personal preference. I'm reading all this and seeing a nice little divide--people who prefer the quick, reactionary style that LJ RPers have mostly adopted, and the more formally written style of most forums. That's where the argument lies--icons are nearly essential to one style, and frivolous to the other.

Including dictionary quotations, smallblackangel shouting "Fallacy!" like the It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia cast shouting "Intervention!" last week, and the TOTAL ABUSE OF ALL CAPS.

(334 wanks | kerfluffle!)

Sunday
October 11

[

mariem_1] 06:46pm - The Wizarding World is a cult full of narcissists

Remember the last HP wank - Hermione Granger - Voldemort in the making? Here we have Episode II.

The OP in the previous wank

terri_testing wrote a fanfic about Dumbledore's childhood. People in the comments started to argue with each other and wankery ensued.

marionros, who during the previous wank diagnosed Harry, Hermione, Dumbledore, the Twins, James and Sirius as psychopaths, insisted that Harry, Hermione and Dumbledore have Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Lily also has NPD.

And what the heck, so does JKR herself.

My issues, let me show you them.

Snape is a victim of narcissist.

Hermione isn't intelligent and she has bad studying skills.

Pureblood prejudice is probably justified.

James was ever so evil.

JKR doesn't know Neville like I do.

Why did students hate Snape for insulting them? My teachers insulted me and I loved them!

Harry is like a suicide bomber and Dumbledore is like Osama bin Laden.

The whole Wizarding World is a cult, Dumbledore is a cult leader and Harry and Hermione are completely brainwashed.

Because of the Marauders' bullying Snape suffered from PTSD like Vietnam veteran, which justifies his treatment of Harry.

Snape was pressured into joining the Death Eaters.

You call my argument sick, but you find me hot!

(452 wanks | kerfluffle!)

Wednesday
October 7

[

platedlizard] 08:24pm - Wil Wheaton vs. A Pirate: Clash of the Internets

You'll have to excuse me. I decided that I wanted a Dvorak keyboard instead of a Qwerty keyboard and I am basically relearning how to type.

From Clairvoyantwank.

Someone posts a pirated download of Wil Wheaton's audiobook Just a Geek. Wil finds out and is Not Happy.

( an open letter to the guy put the just a geek audiobook on his website for people to steal. )

No word yet from Lee Goldburg, but I'm sure it's only a matter of time.

(222 wanks | kerfluffle!)

[

dhole] 12:20am - Banned from Octocon!

Before I get started, a disclaimer: The closest connection I have to Irish fandom is that I've flown over bits of Ireland from time to time. And, when I was a kid, I saw a lot of commercials for Lucky Charms. So I'm probably going to be missing a few subtleties. Also, this is something that happened recently, and recently . . . recently isn't really the decade that I'm best at.

With that said, it seems that there's a guy named Pádraig Ó Méalóid. Who's active in Irish con-going fandom. Or at least, he's active in large parts of Irish con-going fandom. But not Octocon, the Irish National Convention, which is going to be held next weekend. You see Pádraig got a letter the other day, that went a little something like this:

Hello,

I'm writing on behalf of the 2009 Octocon Committee. I am the Co-Chair.

Due to your behaviour at the convention some time ago and your online behaviour earlier this year we have come to the unfortunate decision to ban you from this convention. We believe that your attitude towards us has been far to aggressive both online and in the past at the convention.

This matter is not open for discussion and we will not enter into any online discussion regarding this nor will we discuss this with any other persons. This decision is final.

We are deeply saddened by this as this is the first time a committee has had to ban someone. We will of course will refund your money; if you reply to me with your address I will forward this onto you as soon as possible.

Regards,

Nichola Hannigan

Now, if you're like me, you look at a letter like that, and think "she probably meant 'far too aggressive'." Also, you'd find that third paragraph amusingly repetitive. (I have to warn you, if that was actually your reaction, you're going to want to lay some tarp around your work area, as one of the links that comes later is going to make your head explode. And that's hard to clean up.)

And, if you're someone like Pádraig, you'll go ahead and post the letter to your livejournal. I mean, I'd have done that as well, but with far more mockery.

But Pádraig wasn't the only place in which this news was broken. Cheryl Morgan happened to mention it as well. To quote the seemingly innocuous paragraph:

In less good news my email is currently buzzing with the news that my good friend Pádraig Ó Méalóid has apparently been banned from the convention. I know that Pádraig has been rather critical of the Octocon committee this year, and perhaps rather more aggressive about it than he should have been, but I know my fan history well enough to remember that banning people from conventions rarely ends well. The right way to deal with one’s critics is to prove them wrong by running a great event.

Comment 3 is by one James Brophy, who was, at that point, on the Octocon committee. And he's there to link to the convention's Code of Conduct, and defend the committee's decision. Against all challengers.

The first one he takes on is Pádraig. To his protestations of "I don't know what the hell they're talking about," James replies with "You turned your ignorance of your own actions into a press release." Zing!

Then there's another challenger. Gary Farber replies in his own, inimitable fashion. And at great length. And other people agree with him. Also, Chris O'Shea points out that the code of conduct in question wasn't actually put up on the web last week, which is apparently after whatever happened that made them kick Pádraig out of the convention. It also is in the realm of possibility that the code went up after they sent the letter.

Chris concludes with:

Octocon’s PR has the ears of the world at the moment, it would be a good time to explain what is going on, because in the absence of such, things will only get worse.

James isn't going to take that lying down! In the next comment, he announces his resignation from the con committee, and comprehensively flips his shit. This is where the grammar induced head-explosions are going to start, by the way, as his language skills seem to go at the same time as his temper.

I'm not a hundred percent capable of parsing the claims in the post, but as I understand them, they more or less go as follows: a) Pádraig is a mean guy. b) Also, he says mean things, both to people, and about people. c) One time, he took some prints from a photographer that he shouldn't have.

Rather than do a play-by-play for the rest of the thread, I'll summarize. Gary makes fun of James's difficulties both with the English language and with logic. James explains that one of the lurkers who supports him isn't speaking up, because he's a writer, and fears that Cheryl Morgan will ruin his career. Cheryl gets upset at that, and bans James from her blog, until she's contacted by the guy in question. Which, rather surprisingly, she is, so she un-bans him. Various other members of the committee show up, not so much to explain their actions, as to explain that they wanted this to be kept private, and they are saddened that Pádraig has put his own interests above those of a convention which he's not allowed to attend.

As one might expect, there's some discussion about there elsewhere on the internet; the one bit that jumped out at me as providing useful data was a comment on lj which suggested that one of Pádraig's major sins was founding a convention that's been more successful than Octocon over the last decade or so.

And that's all I've got.

(352 wanks | kerfluffle!)

Tuesday
October 6

[

tetradecimal] 11:08am - I'm the King of the Wank!

This story brought to you by a lot of Farkers.

Hey, F_W, remember Jack Thompson? He's a longtime activist and former attorney, who has in the past expressed his disapproval of such injustices as rap music, radio shows, the ~~HOMOSEXUALS!~~ gays, the Pixelantes (?), moms, Dennis McCauley, ~~"culture war Pearl Harbor pigeons"~~ Japan, the wimmenz, video games, flowers, the Florida Bar Association, small letter "M"s, people who are not Real Men, and, of course, the Satan.

The Wank:
His latest icecapades involve Facebook. Specifically, one group on Facebook called "I Hate Jack Thompson", in which someone apparently posted, "Jack Thompson should be smacked across the face with an Atari 2600".* Thompson responded by personally faxing Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg to have the postings removed. And comparing himself to Barack Obama.

( But wait, there's more! )

(159 wanks | kerfluffle!)

Monday
October 5

[

sepiamagpie] 03:29pm

Dearest little wankahs, what makes a perfect wank?

I'm not asking this because I'm trying to perfect a Get Wank Quick scheme*, though. Honest.

*Voodoo, not trolling.

(203 wanks | kerfluffle!)

[

ari_o] 12:52am - Also I know the ponies hate me

snatched from

wank_report

"Someone" posts a secret (#114 now bahleeted--caps?) on

fandomsecrets and the image is stored on her easily identifiable photobucket account. She claims to be lonely and not have any friends and she wishes the Avatar characters were her RL friends. But she means local friends, not ~~imaginary intarweb bitches~~ her LJ friends.

Responses are mostly of the "Oh, snap!" variety except for the "What am I? Chopped liver?" one. It's really a very mild response though

yukinoomoni is outed by name.

( She doesn't overreact at all: )

eta: F_W is not your therapist. If you can't lol at a wank maybe you need to go for a walk. I thought this was funny. lol sociopath.

(414 wanks | kerfluffle!)

Wednesday
September 30

[

dreiser] 10:19pm - Literary Award Wank

Lambda Literary Foundation: We're changing our submission criteria. From now on our GLBT literary award will only be given to self-identified GLBT authors.

( This does not go over well. )

(356 wanks | kerfluffle!)

[

jkefka] 10:08am - I will decide the value of your fic based on a single word!

Alright people, there's been a long streak of unfunny and fail around here and it's getting bothersome. We need to get back to basics with a short & sweet wank from an old, reliable source.

Thank heaven for FFR.

Picked this up via a mouse in the currently be-spamalated

wank_report, incidentally.

Anyways, the short version is that

guardian_erin posts a question about the word "childe" in reference to the Buffy fandom. To quote:
"What in the hell is so automatically horrible about dropping the word 'Childe' in a fic?"

By and large, people are pretty civil about it, noting that it's more of an Anne Rice/White Wolf term than a Buffy term. A few reasonable souls note that it's generally associated with badfic and therefore not looked upon kindly.

And then there's

liz_marcs, who says, in no uncertain terms, that

guardian_erin is "'one of those writers.' I'll be sure to avoid anything you write". Cue the snippyness, raging, bitching, teal deer, passive-aggressive smilies and condescending. There is also much fappery on the topic of "canon." Good ~~wank~~ times are had by all.

ETA: Oh, I forgot to mention, use of the words "cunty" and "cuntishness". The English language is such a wonderfully flexible thing.

(208 wanks | kerfluffle!)

Monday
September 28

[

jar] 06:09pm - eli roth starts a civil war on ontd

Inglourious Basterds is the latest Quentin Tarantino movie. Oh No They Didn't, is a gossip site based on LJ that is big enough it's actually taken LJ severs out more than once all on its lonesome (I think the last time was when Michael Jackson died, but don't quote me). Eli Roth is the guy who plays Donny "The Bear Jew" Donowitz in Inglourious Basterds (he also wrote/directed Cabin Fever and Hostel and its apparently awful sequel. That guy).

It all started when Eli Roth discovered the Inglourious Basterds Kink Meme.

Surprisingly, not via a fangirl breaking the sacred rule of Though Shalt Not Force Porn On The People In It AFAIK, but all on his lonesome. He was pretty much amused and also decided to show it to and discuss it with Quentin Tarantino (who apparently agreed with him the Donny would be a top), and also Christoph Waltz (who played Landa in IB) and apparently his parents, because he's that kind of classy. This garnered many facepalms from fangirls in places like 100_scalps, but shockingly, very little wank.

This resulted in a lot of twittering porn at him and his discovery of ONTD. He made a I <3 ONTD sign. Something a fair few celebs have done in the past.

After that it kind of got out of control, progressing from ONTD changing his Wiki page to say he was their Official Boyfriend to him twittering he would think about all of ONTD when he jerked off the night, then posting a picture of a very used looking tissue, then to a very candid interview with questions from a lot of people at ONTD*, to-- and here's where the wank really started, pun utterly and completely intended-- having cyber sex with various ONTD'ers on his MySpace. The Eli Roth tag on ONTD contains basically every screen cap and citation, so I'm not linking to everything individually. Scroll on down.

Then it came out that some of said cyber sexin' ONTD'ers sent him pictures of their boobs.

ONTD proceeds to have a 5000 comment long flamewar consisting of the brilliant arguments (paraphrased, but I assure you all quite accurate as you will see if you click this link): YOU'RE SLUTS. NO WE'RE NOT. YES YOU ARE. NO WE'RE NOT. YES YOU ARE. NO WE'RE NOT. YES YOU ARE.

I think, in conclusion, I would like to say that despite what you may think of Mr. Roth, he certainly knows how to make a girl laugh.

*This is the only thing that is locked, however, you only have to join ONTD to see it. It's... worth it.

[ETA]: Omar Doom answered a similar fangirl written survey for ONTD, said he wouldn't be at all opposed to seeing some fangirl boobs, and the wank goes ever on and on in the comments.

(394 wanks | kerfluffle!)

Saturday
September 19

[

_goblin_] 01:08am - Supernatural Fandom: THE AWFUL TRUTH...Is You're Deluding Yourself

Thanks to a mousie on wank_report for this tip!

Even though they might be the same asshat!mousie who has linked the wankers to the wank_report already. This has happened before, so I suspect we have a repeat-offender moron!mouse on the loose.

(Update: reporter!mousie says no; the fink ain't hir. Many apologies to our intrepid reporter!mouse for the libel.)

Also, before we start, I humbly dedicate the following post to the presumably-different and very amusing outraged!mousie who continues to snipe in any and all posts on wank_report that feature

spn_gossip. Everyone loves a bonus wank!

This wank involves a nice long thread on

spn_gossip, but before we can get to that, you're going to need some definitions and facts:

( Danneel Harris has short fingernails and is therefore lesbian. )

I love Supernatural. One of these days, I'm going to have to actually sit down and watch the show.

(350 wanks | kerfluffle!)

Wednesday
September 16

[

mariem_1] 10:58am - Hermione Granger - Voldemort in the making

A Slytherfan

terri_testing writes an essay The Wizarding World and the Otherworld, where she argues that Harry Potter books are horror, not fantasy and that Hogwarts is like the school where the Native American children were brainwashed:

( Read more )

The essay provokes a chorus of "I agree"s and complaints about JKR's treatment of Snape:

mary_j_59 (see "Good night, sweet prince, And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest!")

This is brilliant, Terri! And absolutely consistent. You know, my sister and I went to hear Rowling, Irving and King in NYC, and we both liked John Irving (reading from Owen Meany) best. Now the reason is clear. Rowling is actually a horror writer, like King, and I do not like horror. Still less do I like horror disguised as a children's fantasy quest. Irving, on the other hand, was writing in the great tradition of picaresque novels - a tragicomedy with a moral core.

But what I still wonder is: did (and does) Rowling know that she has actually written a dystopion/horror story? Somehow I don't think she realizes this.

condwiramurs/

00sevvie

I second the 'brilliant' comment. And I highly doubt Rowling is aware of what she has actually written. She is too utterly blind to the reasons we like Severus, for example, to have any clue that she may have written something different from what her perfect picture of her work in her head is. I'm sure she thinks we're just getting it 'wrong.'

oryx_leucoryx (see Cry the Beloved Slytherins)

So if Severus Snape actually survived Nagini's bite, returned to the Muggle world and became some kind of counselor to delinquent youth or someone who runs an anti-bullying program (by working both with victims and perpetrators) he would be a hero with a rather protracted but complete journey? Starting out as the victim of neighborhood bullies (I doubt Petunia was the only one who knew that the strangely dressed kid was the Snape boy from Spinner's End) who must have dreamed that magic would solve his problems, learned that magic simply gave bullies more dangerous/'interesting' ways to hurt people, played a key role in getting rid of the biggest bully in the magical playground and came home to use non-magical ways against bullies?
***
bohemian_spirit has some fics in that general direction - in her 'Light Between the Cracks' series Severus Snape of canon years was secretly married to a Muggle school teacher and while at his Muggle home watched over the neighborhood children. And in her 'Professor Grunge' Severus immigrates to the US instead of joining the Death Eaters. He studies at a wizarding university and becomes a teacher who fights bullying and uses music to assist in magical healing.

But the real fun starts when

night_train_fm decides to argue with

terri_testing and says, among other things:

'Hermione exiling her parents to Australia'
She did that because she was terrified (with good reason) of the DEs coming after them: Voldemort was taking over the government, had already ordered several public mass-Muggle-killings, and anyone remotely connected to Harry was a potential target. According to Jo, Hermione reversed the spell ASAP once the threat was over. For that matter, is it ever outright stated that she didn't sit down and discuss it with them first?

That doesn't go well.

( Hermione is teh ebil! )

(945 wanks | kerfluffle!)

Thursday
September 10

[

tetradecimal] 03:53pm

This wank brought to you by a helpful mouse.

Remember House, the TV show about a ~~Hugh Laurie~~ brilliant doctor who plays by his own set of rules? Well, all you really need to know is that one of its major plot lines consists of two or three seasons of will they/won't they sexual tension that ultimately goes nowhere.
( Read more... )

(365 wanks | kerfluffle!)

Thursday
September 3

[

tetradecimal] 06:14am - How do you like hat?

We ask, and wank_report provides.

Team Fortress 2 is an online FPS game in which two teams made up of nine different classes attempt to blast each other into comical bloody oblivion. TV Tropes says it best:

"Two corporations erect fortresses 10 yards from each other and then send waves of men to kill each other to steal a briefcase out of the opposing fort's basement."

Now add hats, equipable items that were introduced earlier in the year that change the appearance of a character and serve no other purpose whatsoever. But they're rare drops, man -- you could be on for hours and not see hide nor hair of a precious, precious hat.

( Do you smell what The Rock is cooking? )
In conclusion: hats!

(165 wanks | kerfluffle!)

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Wankity wank wank wank. Fandom is fucking funny. Wear your tinfoil hat at all times. Squidwarts 4 evah. OMG WTF LOL!1!!! Gandshat is my fandom_wank OTP. Don't feed the wankers. Domlijah colors are orange + yellow. My fandom is wankier than yours. BNF = Backus Naur Form. We're not bad, we're just drawn that way. Equal opportunity mockers. Wank will eat itself, over and over and over and over. Stop reading this and find something funny.