Fandom Wank Lives!

tetradecimal] 04:57pm

From wank_report:

Someone has decided that enough is enough, and it is now time to cleanse ~~the Pit of Voles~~ FF.net of all that ails it. And that someone is the Literate Union! Motto: "well here are the people who are going to give it anyways!"

"It", apparently, being concrit or flaming. You know, whichever you prefer.

"The LU -- The Literate Union -- is a society that helps to improve the quality of stories on FanFiction that either break the rules or are poorly written. In the case of the latter, we try to help the author, bringing their piece up to standard. Difficult cases are reported to the admins."

( And we got to go in with our hydraulic system, and blast him out! )

(1070 wanks | kerfluffle!)

Friday
August 27

[

wallflower] 08:58pm

Over in Torchwood fandom,

msjaybee (best known as one of the authors of the 400+ page "Save Ianto Jones Report") hears a rumor that AfterElton's Michael Jensen (the same guy who was ridiculed by series creator Russell T Davies while interviewing him) might be in the back pocket of Starz (the network airing the new series of TW). She decides to email him about it.

Jensen posts the email in full and refutes the ridiculous accusation in his editorial column (with a CONSPIRACY THEORY banner, too!). He does not give the name of the person who sent him the email, but

msjaybee (under the name Jo) shows up in the comments and identifies herself as the author. And she's not happy -- not just because he posted the email, but because they haven't posted a press release with a character/series overview (bonus wank about the press release itself here and here. Links contain spoilers.)

( Comment excerpt. )

Jensen replies, and things continue here.

( More excerpts. )

who_anon, meanwhile, follows the action with commentary here.

Original tip and some of the wording taken from

wank_report. Thanks, mousie!

ETA: The Save Ianto Jones Report.

(251 wanks | kerfluffle!)

Friday
August 20

[

sepiamagpie] 10:02pm - credit to white_serpent for finding these links in the first place

Laurell K Hamilton starts off a post entitled: Bleeding on my Keyboard. It starts off with a quote from Leo Tolstoy and some vivid blood talk. Anyway, it's about her book going slow.

It ends with:

The way I write is not for everyone, God knows, but for me it’s the only way I know. It’s the way I’ve always written. It is not a safe way to do this job, but when I dance with the muse it is always a thing of battles, and violence; shared pain and joy. Right now Anita is hurting and so am I, the only thing I can try to do is to keep her pain off of my “real” life, and my pain off of hers. Her problems are not mine, and mine are not hers. Some separation must remain or we will both go mad. Or maybe we’ll simply weep.

Oh, also she says most other authors are big fakes.

Strangely, not everyone is impressed by whatever it was Hamilton was going for above.

It is then brought to discussion on the amazon boards, where the comments start out fairly positive but things start to take a turn for the worst on page one. (To quote

white_serpent: Amazon commenters: Cool! And Armintrout's books are good! No, they're bad! Unprofessional! Laurell's delusional! Pot/Kettle! Let's break out the threats of violence! (And that's just the first two pages.))

Hamilton's my favourite part, though.

(449 wanks | kerfluffle!)

[

ladyofviolets] 02:25pm - I love the smell of upcoming Bleach wank in the 'noon.

Small, but quite delicious and bound to grow. It involves Bleachness and Yulieana, after all. Thank you, wank report mousies *feeds cheese*

Troll sends Kubo a comment saying that they wish Orihime was dead. Kubo gets angry. Bleachness records it, and stresses that he wasn't talking about them, only about trolls who say those horrible things about her. (As if they didn't say horrible things about her)

The Ichihime FC on BA picks up on it, and discusses Kubo standing up for Orihime... It also has a translation of Kubo's (pretty awesome) smackdown of the Orihime-bashing troll.

Yulieana picks up on this and makes a post, which draws its complaints not from BA but from locked comm FLOL.

And Bleachness keeps rolling! ETA: And rolling! And rolliiiiiing!

Let's stay tunned to see how this goes on...

ETA 1: Grudgewank or not? You decide!

ETA 2: I'm glad I don't like hate comms!" Yeah, sure.

(177 wanks | kerfluffle!)

[

loopywafflehead] 07:43pm - The LJ board will hear about this!

Thank you to the anon on wank_report for this one (I’ve used much of your original wording in this post).

A while back, Linda92595 participated in a fic exchange at the SPN comm deancastiel and was very vocal in her dislike for the fic she received.

She was asked to consider locking the post but didn’t because a completely different community mocked one of her manips.
She was subsequently barred from participation in future exchanges and accused the comm mods of spamming her journal with bots.

She attempted to sign up for the current fic exchange, which led to a confrontation on her lj with one of the deancastiel mods (deleted, but screencapped).

And to round it all off, the Spnpermanon thread on the subject.

(166 wanks | kerfluffle!)

Tuesday
August 17

[

brown_betty] 11:01am - When academic bunfighting meets NERD RAGE we all win.

The first volume of William H. Patterson's biography of Robert Heinlein is released today, but the scuffle over it is already a week old.

This is approximately the millionth Heinlein biography to hit the shelves, so perhaps it is a bit difficult to see why it matters, but this underestimates the devotion of Heinlein nerds. Jo Walton, (

papersky) published a review on Tor.com, in which although she says some nice things, she concludes:

Patterson’s biography is also riddled with tiny insignificant errors of the kind that make me lose trust. [...] If I can’t trust Patterson on details that I know backwards and forwards and inside out, how can I trust him on matters that are new to me?

A reasonable doubt!

( OR IS IT? )

(211 wanks | kerfluffle!)

Friday
August 13

[

tetradecimal] 08:01am

My Lord,

I hope this missive finds you well, for I write to you now with the most dire of news. A new enemy threatens our homes, our families, our very existence.

I am speaking, of course, of that movie about Scott Pilgrim.

( Read more... )

ETA from

ilinana: Banned!

(524 wanks | kerfluffle!)

Wednesday
August 11

[

jetamors] 03:16pm - OMG! Oh Noes!

Grabbed from

wank_report.

So toft reveals that she's been interspersing her real requests for fics on sgastoryfinders with fake requests. Some of the "fake" fics actually did turn out to exist, and were found.

Is this hilarious or horrifying? Either way, there's tons of wank in the comments.

(441 wanks | kerfluffle!)

Tuesday
August 10

[

tetradecimal] 08:15am - Eleanor Roosevelt says you're paid in exposure

Edit: False alarm, the author of the wank is underage.

But have some cake in compensation.

(74 wanks | kerfluffle!)

Thursday
July 22

[

crysiana] 02:25am - Avatar Shipping Wank: It must be Wednesday

Recently, the creators of Avatar: the Last Airbender announced a new series that's coming in 2011, titled Avatar: Legend of Korra. Normally this would be cause for joy and celebration, considering how many people enjoyed Avatar's first run, but wait! Ships from the first series are confirmed to have lasted? And they're not the ones I like?

Note: there are mild SPOILERS for Avatar: Legend of Korra here.

( 23,256th verse, same as the first )

I expect this will be ongoing as more details about the new series emerge.

(I would just like to add that I am SO EXCITED that there will be more Avatar universe stuff, personally. I could not care less about shipping right now, when we are getting a female Avatar.)

ETA: There is now a great comic about the shipwars. (And the original threads are frozen.)

(752 wanks | kerfluffle!)

Wednesday
July 21

[

tetradecimal] 10:14am - We call it the aristocrats

Dave Willis, author of the webcomic Shortpacked, posts a comic about two outspoken, popular(?) fandom bloggers who apparently are not big on Beast Wars. It is not very flattering.

These two bloggers (one Tom Croom, and one Joey Snackpants) soon show up in the comments to sow seeds of dissent. Or something.

Tom Croom is in a webcomic!
You clearly don't understand the true definition of "straw man".
Tom Croom will tell you why Beast Wars sucks if you donate $250 to the charity of his choice!
YOU CANNOT TRICK DAVE WILLIS.
Joey Snackpants still thinks Beast Wars sucks!

And as a bonus: This all started when because someone didn't get invited to a Transformers convention. I mean, have you seen their panel?

ETA: Apparently there's a Shortpacked tag.

(110 wanks | kerfluffle!)

Friday
July 16

[

snacky] 12:24pm - "This is a colossal load of horseshit."

Courtesy of the anons on

wank_report, I present to you:

The Woeful Tale of VividCon's Silencing and Shaming of its Members; or How niqaeli the Special Snowflake Was Epically Disingenuous

( Follow the trail of the horseshit... )

(384 wanks | kerfluffle!)

Wednesday
July 14

[

giles6688] 10:38pm - The sad, strange tale of Grandpa Wiggly
mood: Dramatic

(I hesitated about putting this here, but Reddit is such a large site and has spawned so many memes I figured you could consider it having its own fandom, besides the drama this has caused in the mayonnaise fandom)

So, as most of you probably know, Reddit is a webportal for all sorts things, from politics to fandoms, from the mainstream to the obscure. It also has the habit of making its own reddit celebrities, such as Grandpa Wiggly.

Grandpawiggly is a redditor who grew popular when he wrote an AMA (Ask Me Anything, where a person says who they are, and allows people to ask them ...anything. The occasional Celebrity shows up, such as Ebert and Will Wheaton) about his past as a failed mayonnaise entrepreneur. He quickly becomes popular, spinning off his own blog , twitter feed , and his own subreddit, r/mayonnaise. He had a colorful history, with a crazy cat lady wife named Effie and even grandchildren popping up on reddit. Sounds fantastic, right?

Unfortunately, like mayonnaise gone bad, the whole story started to smell sour. It seems two other redditors, panek and ohnoahhedidnt both come to the conclusion that grandpawiggly is a fraud. They have lots and lots of proof. Not only has Ryan Saucier faked grandpawiggly and his grandchildren, but it has also come to light that he has trolled reddit other times in the past, including faking an AMA about a coma patient.

Redditors are fighting both the rage of nerds who have been trolled and the grief of losing Reddit's official grandpa. Also, the mayonnaise recipe Grandpawiggly posted was stolen, and nothing tastes as bittersweet as stolen mayonnaise.

(112 wanks | kerfluffle!)

Tuesday
July 13

[

_rukia] 01:36pm - Small Who fandom wank

mrv3000 sets out to address a lingering prejudice in fandom, one she is personally affected by. Doesn't sound funny so far, right? Just wait.

You see, it's not racism, or sexism, or classism, or anything similar Miss 3000 feels the need to address, oh no! Instead, she decides to discuss one of the more persistent problems in fandom: the horrors of OTP-ism! For you see, according to her:

I'm a serial OTP-er. I rather doubt this will ever change. Pretty much all of my fannish experience (even before the 10 years I've been hanging out in fandom) has been me latching on to one pairing and squeeing the hell out of it. I don't find it particularly juvenile that I generally only ship one pairing, but yet I see so many comments that indicate as much. That somehow a person is enlightened if they can multi-ship (or really enlightened if they like threesomes or more) and some sort of idiot fangirl if they OTP. Or that if a person has an OTP, then by that very definition they must be on a crusade to wreck every other pairing. Um, say what? Just because I don't find some other ship plausable doesn't mean that someone else can't. (Unless they believe that my thinking trumps their thinking; in which case, dude, get me a latte! I've always wanted a minion!)

Many people agree (especially at first), several people don't, and the whole thing rapidly spirals into a debate about whether or not 'mono-shipping' is the same as OTPing and if the 'true' in One True Pairing inherently invalidates all other ships.

jaythenerdkid/

bewarethespork writes a reaction post discussing 'sign-systems' as they relate to Doctor/Rose shippers, where people respond Very Seriously, and the entire thing pretty much reads like a war about whose shipping patterns are betterer with some big words thrown in.

(452 wanks | kerfluffle!)

[

hobosocks] 05:39pm - "Now he is just as much an iulluninati pawn as his hero lady gaga."
mood: OMGWTF

Thank you,

wank_report mousie, for this little morsel of sheer, unadulterated crazypants.

In the land of figure skating, all was quiet -- well, okay, all was wanky, but no more than usual. Then, Aunt Joyce (skating's most popular blogger, perpetrator of much unfunnybusiness, and generally awful human being) makes a post about the retirement of popular and controversial figure skater Johnny Weir. The actual post is rather disgustingly homo and transphobic, so we won't really dwell on it. It doesn't have much of anything to do with the impending weirdness that follows.

Now, a good number of Johnny Weir's fans are well known for their special snowflake attitude, so I'm sure you can all see where this is going.

At first, the comments are generally divided between snarking about Johnny's career and outrage over the fact that AJ is basically a huge ass. That is, until this comment, when, to quote directly from the wank_report, "someone claiming to know Johnny's friends (who he calls the Dingles) IRL pipes up, claiming that Johnny is happy now after being in a black hole of despair following the Vancouver Olympics, and even has a new special someone. Of note, he says that Johnny doesn't really hang out with the Hollywood types, but prefers a small circle of personal dingles (aka friends). "

Initial response is a mix of people thanking the commenter for their insight and more wank about Johnny's personal life. Until somebody else who claims to know the Dingles chimes in.

Then it gets downright bizarre.

( I quite like this fanfiction, but could you also include Evan not winning in Vancover, and werekittens if at all possible. )

In conclusion: LOL, Dingles. I still can't get over that.

EDIT: Thanks to

tarash, who pointed out that a previous pseuicide had been carried out by none other than Johnny Weir's astral wife. It's a good thing they have phoenix down on the astral plane. Some of the people mentioned by name in this wank are also mentioned there. I still don't know what's going on.

(115 wanks | kerfluffle!)

Monday
July 12

[

tetradecimal] 11:01am - HELP HELP I'M BEING CULTURALLY APPROPRIATED!

Small, but wanky. Swanky?

willtherebecake makes a post to customers_suck relating an unfortunate incident in the aisles of the Walmart in which they work. She also happens to be a fan of FMA: Brotherhood, and in the midst of describing how silly Roy's moustache is, mentions that there are tons of otaku at Walmart.

hontou jumps in to froth:

"You know what I think? I think the second incident did not happen. I think you just wanted an excuse to talk about how ~~ignorant of the culture you're trying so hard to appropriate~~ "otaku" you are.

But that's just what I think. Thank you for single-handedly reinforcing every stereotype of a Walmart employee!

P.S. Unless part of your store is floating in the Pacific - AISLE."

( Read more... )

ETA: FMA: Brotherhood spoilers, btw.
ETA 2: Update from walraute, and sf_drama post.

(261 wanks | kerfluffle!)

Saturday
July 10

[

gusty] 11:47am - 2ch used Deport!

Pokebeach is a Pokemon fansite whose webmaster, Water Pokemon Master (hereby known as WPM), is currently living in Japan in order to cover news about the upcoming 5th generation of Pokemon.

This week the 13th movie in the series came out, featuring advertisements that revealed two new Pokemon. WPM took photographs of these new Pokemon during this showing and posted them to Pokebeach. Filming a movie in a theater is a serious offense in Japan, and members of the Japanese site 2chan were enraged at WPM's actions. They reported him to the Japanese police and are encouraging others to do so. WPM could face an $11,000 fine and deportation.

Bulbagarden, another Pokemon fansite, reported on the incident, with the note that: "After learning of Water Pokémon Master's act, many people, such as several of the administrators of Bulbagarden, have condemned WPM's actions." This is where the wank comes in. ~~A post about the news story was posted in the Bulbagarden forums~~ ETA: Now deleted. A couple pages into this post, a copy of WPM's response to the affair is shared in which he lashes out at Bulbagarden for condeming him:

( If anyone should pay a fine, it should be Pokemon and Nintendo to its loyal webmasters who have spent years out of their time and wallets promoting their products. )

This results in a back-and-forth between Bulbagarden staff and forum users on whether they're hypocritical for their opinion on WPM's actions considering they reguarly post leaked CoroCoro scans:

TTEchidna: "We weren't the ones who took the scans. As a news organization, what we're doing is no more illegal than a TV channel showing video of a murder."

WPM then posts a conversation on AIM between himself and the Bulbagarden staff on Pokebeach, and this is also posted by Sparrow on the Bulbagarden forums:

( I hope you know that until charges are pressed against me, your news story is stupid )

Before the deletion (after I made this post) there was 29 pages about the situation on the Bulbagarden forums. Supposedly there's more wank on the Pokebeach forums, but my work blocks that website (hence why I used the Bulbagarden forum quotes of what has been posted on Pokebeach rather than the site itself, apologies). If anyone has a link to that, it'd be appreciated!

ETA: Lots of caps here thanks to

galateus!

(128 wanks | kerfluffle!)

Friday
July 9

[

lady_ganesh] 12:32pm - "People who call him blond creep me out."
mood: Mildly Amused

This is too funny not to share. Someone over at

spnpermanon calls Dean (played by Jensen Ackles) blond.

The anons explode!

Things get a little weird in places but mostly this is HAIR COLOR IS SERIOUS BUSINESS OMG.

My favorite comment:

This entire thread is an awesome object lesson for what debates are like in fandom:

"You're wrong, Dean is blonde!"
"No, you're wrong, Dean's a brunet!"
"I have my opinion, but I won't impose it on you."
"He's hot either way, so who gives a fuck?"

Rinse, repeat. Change the topic, and you have every fandom debate, ever. It's kind of fascinating; I feel like I should be taking notes.

ETA: Thanks,

wank_report mousey! You have improved my Friday.

EDIT: A mousey reports in with even more hair wank!

(327 wanks | kerfluffle!)

Tuesday
July 6

[

ladyofviolets] 07:09pm - The Bleach fandom is wanking again! Old news, what about it?
mood: On Top of the World

Taking this from wank report. Thank you, mousie! :*

Background: ( Meep meep! SPOILERS HEEEERE! )

Shit gets started in the Inoue Orihime FC at Bleach Asylum. Mods have already been deleting the choicest wank, but look for FW favorite Yuliana leading the charge.

( But wank can't be escaaaaaaaaaped from! How dare you dislike her, you're evil! How dare you like her, she's a whore! )

As usual, wank moves to Bleachness, where wank is officially discouraged except when it is courted and encouraged.

( You want a proof? Here, here! )

And there you have it. Orihime apologists rape their mothers. How DARE anybody like her.

Bonus Wank! -- FW alum sleepwalkerrrr is also present, and white knighting so hard it’s kind of cute.

ETA 1: Wank Round 2! Why are so soooooo co-dependent ~~on that asshole Ichigo and NOT on Ishida-chan or Ulquiorra-sama~~, huh?

ETA 2: Karenai is a tiiiiiny bit bitter because Orihime commits the sin of existing.

ETA3: Whenever Yulieana opens her trap, insanity pours out.

ETA 4: Orihime sucks because we say so! Let's ignore all canon saying that she doesn't and add emoticons to make our claim stronger! :D xD ^_^

(429 wanks | kerfluffle!)

[

nymeria] 07:08pm - Privacy: not for gamers!
mood: Catty

This just in: Blizzard Entertainment, owner of popular game franchises Starcraft, Diablo and Warcraft (as in, World of Warcraft) have decided to add more to their new Real ID system (designed to help players connect with friends across the entire Blizzard franchise, so for instance being able to talk to a friend playing Starcraft 2 while you are playing WoW). What is this new development?

The first and most significant change is that in the near future, anyone posting or replying to a post on official Blizzard forums will be doing so using their Real ID -- that is, their real-life first and last name -- with the option to also display the name of their primary in-game character alongside it.

Bolding mine. The mmo-champion entry rockets up from 17 comments to (at the time of writing) 508 in <40 minutes. Including!

The people whining about this are typically trolls hiding behind some anonymous name. I for one am for this.

Your name is not unique. You are not a special snowflake.

It will be pretty intresting to see the profiles on facebook/myspace of some of the "top raiders" Maybe pull up some DMV records and see what kind of mount they have IRL

All from just the first page! It's going to be a fun few days in WoW, folks. \o/

Edit: why are Blizzard doing this? Well...

The official forums have always been a great place to discuss the latest info on our games, offer ideas and suggestions, and share experiences with other players -- however, the forums have also earned a reputation as a place where flame wars, trolling, and other unpleasantness run wild. Removing the veil of anonymity typical to online dialogue will contribute to a more positive forum environment, promote constructive conversations, and connect the Blizzard community in ways they haven’t been connected before. With this change, you’ll see blue posters (i.e. Blizzard employees) posting by their real first and last names on our forums as well.

A New Edit: thanks to

risha: there was a security flaw that exposed your real life name whenever you used addons all along.

The Edit Strikes Back: A Blizz representative speaks! Alas, it is foot in mouth disorder striking again:

We put a lot of thought into this change and have a long-term vision for the Real ID service and wanted to make sure that we communicated ahead of time and very clearly as to what will be changing and how. Keep in mind that posting is optional, and we recognize that some players will choose not to utilize the Real ID feature in game or post on the forums and support everyone's individual choice on using or not using it.

(in other words, stfu and deal with it).

The Return of the Edit: Someone on the WoW official forums gives his name and dares posters to find him. Someone does. Burn.

(518 wanks | kerfluffle!)

20 Older Wanks
Up to the Top

Wankity wank wank wank. Fandom is fucking funny. Wear your tinfoil hat at all times. Squidwarts 4 evah. OMG WTF LOL!1!!! Gandshat is my fandom_wank OTP. Don't feed the wankers. Domlijah colors are orange + yellow. My fandom is wankier than yours. BNF = Backus Naur Form. We're not bad, we're just drawn that way. Equal opportunity mockers. Wank will eat itself, over and over and over and over. Stop reading this and find something funny.