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Thursday
February 4

[[info]ladyofviolets] 09:18am - Yulieana, the one-woman wanking machine from the Bleach fandom!
mood: ahahahahaha LOL bitches

Thank you, kind mousey from wank_report!

Crystaldawn doesn't think that IchiHime shippers are so bad. So she writes an essay about it, debunking some of the "myths" about them... (Thanks for the exact link, mariem_1)

Yulieana (from these wanks) finds out. And she is not happy AT ALL.

Feminism is not about celebrating and encouraging women! Bullies must only be dealt with through hitting them back! A True Woman should NEVER EVER become a teacher! And samurais do not belong in Bleach. That's what Yulieana says, after all.

And as a bonus, Fandom Secrets seems to have some things to say about her...

ETA: Aaaand she saw us. Now WE are the stalkers, the bad "feminists" and the wankers, according to her and Co.. =D

ETA 2: "I wrote an eleven page essay in reply to yours!" "And I think you're such a BITCH for not fucking replying to her on it! Not from Yulie herself, but still damn wanky.

ETA 3: Why ship wars are awesome! IDK MY NOT BFF YULIE? Thanks, lady_ganesh!

ETA 4: And the whining bout CD's essay FINALLY reaches Bleachness
(796 wanks | kerfluffle!)

Wednesday
February 3

[[info]trisandrockets] 07:09pm - Tennis! So decorous!

All in a locked comm, going away now. My apologies.
(25 wanks | kerfluffle!)

Monday
February 1

[[info]duraniedrama] 01:27pm - Amazon Does Something Stupid Over The Weekend Again

So, one fine Friday, Amazon abruptly delists all titles by Macmillan. John Scalzi, who has books with Macmillan via Tor Books, notices and is initially puzzled and then increasingly annoyed as the reason for this gradually becomes clear. Amazon has apparently pulled this stunt because Macmillan is demanding that its ebooks be sold at prices of its choosing instead of being forcibly discounted to $9.99 so Amazon can sell more Kindles.

John Sargent of Macmillan runs a paid ad in the Saturday edition of Publisher's Lunch explaining their position.

I told them they could stay with their old terms of sale, but that this would involve extensive and deep windowing of titles.

(I think this is publisher-speak for "sure, you can sell them for $9.99, but we won't be releasing them to you in ebook format until WAY after the initial publication date. You give us paperback prices, you'll get 'em about when the paperback comes out.")

Amazon's repsonse was to delist the Macmillan titles (without actually telling anybody why, mind you, except as an anonymous tip to The New York Times.)

The Twittersphere and blogosphere respond as one would expect. Charles Stross is particularly pissed off. Making Light also has a post about it and there's a thread about it on Absolute Write with some hilarious mansplaining as a guy who knows the vague basics about ebooks doesn't understand why they cost so darn much and gets into it with a woman who has been in the industry for years and knows exactly why they do.

Amazon finally backs down in a public statement on, um, their own message board by the "Amazon Kindle team."

We want you to know that ultimately, however, we will have to capitulate and accept Macmillan's terms because Macmillan has a monopoly over their own titles, and we will want to offer them to you even at prices we believe are needlessly high for e-books.

Scalzi sums up the mess in his own snarky style.

Which means he'll probably be the last to get relisted.

There's loads out there, really, but these are the most entertaining highlights, I think.
(274 wanks | kerfluffle!)

Saturday
January 30

[[info]hypno_jango] 08:23pm - THIS IS A BEAR-LEVEL THREAT HERE!

Hetalia is a manga/anime series that stars anthropomorphizations of different countries. Stephen Colbert is America (And So Can You). rover_09 posts that "her friend" posted a fanart to the Stephen Colbert forums. Most would think it means it's yet another silly fanart of America and Colbert standing in front of the American flag being America. But to everyone's horror, it's a Colbert/America/Bandit Keith three-way.

The whole community: TAKE THAT DOWN NOW! *FAIL GIFS*

rover_09 reminds the community about "her friend".

Edit:

I am not endorsing this. I put this up because she sent it to me and I wanted to see what others thought of it. You want to yell at someone, go talk to her.

And now we got a sockpuppet troll on page 5: suckonthisnews!

( Cut for tl;dr troll )

400+ replies and rising.

Edit: The Colbert forum post was finally taken down right before this post hit 600.

Edit: Baleeted!
(220 wanks | kerfluffle!)

[[info]mariem_1] 08:52pm - Dance with Deadlines

Patrick from the popular blog Pat's Fantasy Hotlist posts an exclusive excerpt from a new Dunk and Egg story by George R.R. Martin. The first comment to this blog entry:

Anonymous
I m really glad that George can find the time to do anything under the sun, but finish the book that everyone is waiting for. For example, eating, watching football, editing crappy novels nobody cares about, talking about Paris, conventions in 3rd world countries, etc. Also, its really cool how he releases books in England first when 95 % of his fans are in the U.S. Good job fatso! Boycott?

And it goes downhill from here. For more than 200 comments "Martin sucks because he is doing everything except writing A Dance with Dragons" people and "Leave Martin alone! Quit whining and find something else to read!" people are bitching at each other. Highlights include:

( You called me Oprah? It's defamation! )

Eventually Patrick disabled new comments and made this post:

For fuck's sake. . .
Posted by Patrick

Are you fucking kidding me???? Am I running a day care??? I've been running this blog for more than 5 years, and it's the first time I've been forced to disable the comment function.:\

To the GRRM haters and the trolls out there, do everyone a favor and stop reading anything Martin writes. There's enough good SFF material to keep everyone happy, I believe. And yes, a little maturity would go a long way. . .

Never thought I'd be saying this, but you are even worst than the brainwashed Goodkind fans on the Yeard's forums. And Christ, that's saying something!=( As a matter of fact, you make Mystar sound like the Voice of Reason and the Soul of Wisdom. . .

I would like to believe that this is the work of pimply anti-social teenagers who get pick on at school and whose sex lives amount to downloading porn every night. But my gut tells me that it's from "responsible" adults. . .

Come on, man. . .
(242 wanks | kerfluffle!)

[[info]sisterelwood] 07:08pm - Once upon a time
mood: *sporfle!*

Snagged from [info]wank_report with some edits by yours truly.

In the land of the internets, there was a community called [info]house_cuddy. For four years the denizens played and frolicked. Sunshine and lollipops ruled the day and unicorns ran free.

And then shit got real...

It all started on January 29, 2010, when someone spammed all over LJ House-related communities for merchandise from a Russian website. Most places ignored it but [info]house_cuddy fed the troll with added anti-Russia wank for extra measure. Mod, lissiePissie, deletes the spam and in the afternoon announces that things have been so wanky that she's put the comm on moderated status.

Nothing could possibly go wrong with that, right? Right?

Oh nay- within a few hours, that post is deleted and fellow mod fishingvegas announces that he has kicked out lissiepissie and will be taking over.

( cut because this is getting too long )

OH SNAP- fishingvegas posted a response to everything-
http://community.livejournal.com/housecuddy_temp/3948.html DELETED

Yes, there were comments. I have caps of the first and third page which I will have up soon. He's gone through and deleted all comments.

EDIT: Here are the caps of fishingvegas' post along with two pages of comments before he got delete happy.
Page One with comments
Page Three with comments
Right before he deleted- disabled comments

EDIT AGAIN: And now it's back. Yeah, I don't know-
http://community.livejournal.com/locked_office/42889.html

Why they didn't kick him out the first time they got control back I will never know.
(34 wanks | kerfluffle!)

Thursday
January 28

[[info]lady_ganesh] 08:02pm - Fanart: Serious business. Shipping: EVEN MORE SERIOUS.

From a mouse on [info]wank_report and using some of their language.

[info]copper_cakes uses a picture as her Livejournal background of the Bleach pairing Ulquiorra/Orihime. Unfortunately, it was a commission, and the artist and the person who paid for the art let her know. She takes down the image, and apologizes for using it and causing them trouble here.

Sounds straightforward, right? But you forget: this is Bleach and Bleach is serious fucking business. Not only is stealing wrong, [info]copper_cakes is a LYING LIAR who only really ships Ichigo/Orihime!

( No, really. )

Small, but tasty in its utter detachment from any sense of perspective.

EDIT: Yes, you've seen Yulieana before.

EDIT THE SECOND: Yulieana...um. Responds, I guess?

EDIT THE THIRD: Moar caps! Were people actually buying wedding dresses? Spill the details, folks! EDIT THE FOURTH: This may be an exaggeration. BUT IF YOU HAVE BLEACH WEDDING DRESS ART, PUT IT IN COMMENTS, I'm bored and LJ is slow today. Bonuses for boys in dresses.

EDIT THE FOURTH (NO, WAIT, THE FIFTH): Where are my wedding dresses, bitches? Yulieana compares [info]fandom_wank to Fox News (can I be Shepherd Smith?), some girl I don't know to infamous lawyer "Jake" Thompson, and takes a sideswipe at Johnny Yong Bosch. Dude, dissing the Black Ranger? So not on. Get it before it's locked!

EDIT SIX: Thanks for the wedding dresses! Oh, and neutrality is simply impossible when it comes to Bleach ships.
(776 wanks | kerfluffle!)

[[info]pinkranger] 05:04pm

Jules Rivera, author of the webcomic Mash Rocket, posted an article to Comic Related a couple of months ago titled What qualifies as art in webcomics. Comics such as XKCD, Order of the Stick and Surviving the World are called lazy and crap. Jules even recommends hiring an overseas artist because their work is beautiful and "affordable."

Well, Dante from Surviving the World saw this two months later and decided to defend this new wave of webcomic mediums with a well thought out and executed argument. Some of his fans, however, not-so-much, and soon go to the two month article to share their opinion on the topic, as well as Jules' comic and art style (just scroll through the comments to see them, there's too many to choose from).

ETA: Spell-checked by grammar-freaky boyfriend!

ETA 2: Apparently, while I've been sleeping, there's been a bit of fighting on Dante's and Jules' twitter pages. Here's a classy little response from Jules

@danteshepherd if youre going to act like a child about this (as you clearly have) I rescind my offer and my apology. You are a lazy bastard
(170 wanks | kerfluffle!)

Wednesday
January 27

[[info]lessis] 12:46pm - Ohh noes!

Toshirodragon has been banned from the bjd forum Den of Angels for "exessive rudeness"

What triggered the ban was comment since lost(unless I can find caps) the gist of which treated anyone who buys decent clothing for their expensive dolls who freaked out if people breathed on the dolls as snobs and elitist. Full of hyperbole and exaggeration.

People objected to the labels

April: Hmmm... no one likes to be labeled! I'm older and I like to buy fancy outfits. I don't have a fit about people touching or holding my dolls at all--unless they're all grabby-hands and clumsy or messy!

I have made clothes for my dolls before--but I'm not great at sewing and I don't have a sewing machine--so that limits things. Besides--it always ends up WAY more expensive when I try and make stuff myself--buying all the supplies and materials. Seriously! I've ended up spending way more than if I'd just gone out and bought or commissioned stuff on the few times I've tried doing it all myself. (It's dangerous going into Michael's and JoAnn's... !)

I don't mind hanging about with people of whatever age, anyway. I'm used to hanging with young and old!

Lillie: </i>
Quote:
Originally Posted by april View Post
Hmmm... no one likes to be labeled! I'm older and I like to buy fancy outfits. I don't have a fit about people touching or holding my dolls at all--unless they're all grabby-hands and clumsy or messy!

Totally agree, April. Generalizations make me

Right now, my boys are dressed in a variety of outfits ranging from expensive through to casual stuff which cost a fraction of the price of the fancier outfits.

I would love to make some outfits, but it would be a huge learning curve for me since sewing was about my worst subject in school

Then there's also the fact that, although I have a sewing machine, materials and the desire, what I sorely lack is time. There's my full-time job, a house to keep organised and clean and there's also the fact that dolls are not my only hobby, so time is at a premium for me. Even when I take my holidays and promise myself that this time I will fit in some sewing, it never happens that way I do live in hope, though.</i>

Toshirodragon's response was to edit her original comment to say. I apologize to everyone I have offended. I will go out and sell my dolls now, cut my wrists, shave my head and join a nunnery.

NOW will you be satisfied....

Oh and I unsubscribed from this thread so all you histrionics were unnecessary. And thanks for the tattling, adults REALLY do do that better than children.

and added a new post
Oh whatever people... my god I made an off hand comment designed to put one person's fears of being the oldest in the crowd to rest and a few people act like I blew snot on your favorite outfits.

Buy frickin Dollheart I DONT CARE! But I will say that of the collectors I've come in contact with the ones who DONT buy Dollheart have been the funnest to hang with.

Now I'm going to bed.

The banhammer fell shortly after that.

Toshirodragon then took it to LJ on her doll community Red_shoelacers

Ohh noes! Full of her own perceived superiority and persecution complex, referencing other fights she's had with people in the past. Snacky's law violation. And plans to get around the ban link
(147 wanks | kerfluffle!)

Monday
January 18

[[info]urpletastic] 08:38pm - Reasoned and reasonable literary criticism, Kradam-style

First attempt at posting, although I've been barracking from the sidelines for about a millennium now ...

[info]astolat posts A Matter Of Inconvenience, which is American Idol slashfic (Kris/Adam) with a 'Regency' setting. At least, that's the general idea, and harmless enough you would have thought - assuming that AI AU RPS is your thing. (Alphabet soup!)

[info]zvi, however, takes exception. Amongst other objections, A Matter of Inconvenience is not about race, thoughtlessly invokes colonial issues, and just doesn't put up any warning flags for those who are about to read it. Also, apparently, this is a thing Astolat fucked up. Everybody, please to endeavor not to fuck up like that with your next happy fun sexytimes historical.

What starts off as moderately polite discussion about historicity in slash fanfiction is, however, quickly derailed by [info]willow who offers the following reasoned evaluation: In the middle of the cuppa tea, the empire waist dresses and the ass-sex of your AU Regency - please to be remembering the hydra heads of colonialism and imperialism and what that means for and about your whitey white penis salt lick fan thought of the moment.

[info]liviapenn tries to calm things down a bit with some entertaining stuff about plumbers and blow jobs but this only serves to upset [info]willow further. Why is it that everytime I see you lately, you're happily shoving your foot into your mouth via your hindquarters? ... You keep claiming to understand your privilege and say you're reflecting on it and then you start chomping that feces encrusted shoe leather again. [info]willow's User Info states "'M brown and I have an attitude." No kidding.

[info]astolat's attempt to explain herself gets stomped on, and the desirability of historical accuracy in a Kris/Adam Regency alternate universe is lathered, rinsed and repeated for those who missed it the first time.

Small, but strangely vitriolic given the subject matter. It's difficult to imagine why people are getting quite so over-excited about one piece of costumed fluff in a universe of lesbian cars and tentacle porn, but it may keep us entertained while we're waiting for next incarnation of VB.

ETA: Okay, I get the message, I got it wrong - or maybe I just don't have a sense of humour? Either way, it was obviously a bad call. Lesson learned.
(407 wanks | kerfluffle!)

Sunday
January 17

[[info]maudelynn] 10:34am - The Avatar otherkin feel persecuted
mood: *thud*

and it is JUST LIKE THE HOLOCAUST, Y'ALL! http://community.livejournal.com/tothehometree/4785.html?thread=105393#t105393 !

So they made an Anti Na'vi Defamation Community http://nadl-org.livejournal.com/

and much wank ensued! http://community.livejournal.com/tothehometree/4785.html

I know my write up is lacking, but I think the wank found inside is not!

ETA: it looks like nadl_org is set up as a personal journal. FYI.

ETA Part 2: and the troll is out of the cave http://nadl-org.livejournal.com/1667.html
(616 wanks | kerfluffle!)

Saturday
January 16

[[info]ari_o] 01:41am - cake or death?

The swan song of one [info]thanfiction aka Andy Blake/VB, etc. He is leaving the internets forver. Maybe. If he doesn't die from his mysterious heart condition--he's going to college. Yes, sir. But he is unlikely to ever give up the cancer sticks.

n.b.: Please use the pronoun he when refering to Andy or face the wrath of pretty much everyone, but especially those who can ban your ass along with the rest of you.

eta: I didn't bother posting a link to Turi's reaction post because it was even more boring than Andy's brave farewell. But some sockpuppet comments to defend Andy.

"These do not exist other than the usual complaints about a failed romance (between he and luvscharlie)."

WAIT WOT? All that frothing from luvscharlie was heart break? D:
(613 wanks | kerfluffle!)

Thursday
January 14

[[info]jkefka] 12:23pm - I could probably have just put the first sentence and a link

Heroes is on the verge of cancellation. Again, apparently. I don't pay attention to these things so much, but some people seem to care very much that Heroes will be cancelled. They care so much that they've organized a petition! The post is short, but the wank is quality. Mostly, the wank is [info]bigbadwolfeboro, a True Fan (tm).

Of course, not everyone feels the same way.* This is terribly tragic.

*(also, [info]raveneyes signs all their comments with a tilde and a lowercase letter. It's like all my pet peeves blended into a foul smoothie of hate.)

bigbadwolfeboro is a rather helpful individual, though! For example, she answers her own questions:

Shows what you know I AM A WOMAN!!!! and I'm not the one complaining about Heroes on a Heroes fan com. You come to a fan site in a post trying to save a show and talk trash. What did you expect would happen? Now who's crazy?

Mmm, delicious crazy. Other highlights include:

Well, someone clearly knows how to use HTML tags.

Two ships points, passing in the night, possibly on different planets.

Don't go peddling that dirty voice of reason when I've got UNBELIEVERS to hunt!

My new favorite GIF. Seriously. You can't go wrong with Cary Elwes.

And as a bonus mini-wank, mousie fap-off in [info]wank_report! I'm not sure why you think this is some kind of moral judgment, grudge-mousie, but when you say this should be wanked because "They're making everyone else look bad," I assume you're not including yourself in "everyone else." You're doing a bang-up job on your own!
(431 wanks | kerfluffle!)

Sunday
January 10

[[info]solle] 11:41am - Amanda Palmer wank!
music: The Dresden Dolls - Gravity

Amanda Palmer is a solo artist, formerly one half of The Dresden Dolls. (She's also dating Neil Gaiman, but that's not important right now.) She's known for experimenting with music a lot and throwing spontaneous free gigs at airports and beaches. And inviting her fans to a night out at a strip club via Twitter, featuring Katy Perry and Peaches as surprise guests at her concerts, making silent films with Bill Nighy, things like that.

For the past month or so she's been tweeting about practicing a Tchaichovsky piece for an upcoming concert. She eventually decided it was too hard for her and came up with a pretty funny and creative solution (starts at 2:45), which she later blogged about, explaining why she feels it was the best thing to do.

( Some people didn't like it. )
(299 wanks | kerfluffle!)

Friday
January 8

[[info]tetradecimal] 12:37pm - If you were hexapodal I might take you more seriously, as proper fauna is hexapodal.

This Avatar wank brought to you by wank_report.

It was the first day of a shiny new year, full of possibility and promise, when tireanavi created tothehometree, "a community for all those who identify with the Na'vi race in some way - people who are Na'vi on a spiritual or mental level, people who are reincarnated Na'vi, Na'vi souls trapped in human forms, people who worship the great Eywa, etcetera."

And for a time, love and acceptance swept across the land. Cake, glitter, ponies! But alas, the peace was eventually shattered.

By a Swedish, bipedal wolf manta ray.

( Read more... )
(827 wanks | kerfluffle!)

Sunday
January 3

[[info]ari_o] 03:31am - Beat your breasts, maidens, and rend your tunics.

There once was an archive for Yuletide
and when it died every other fool cried
stop thief
in erroneous belief
that their fics were about to go worldwide

( background )

( the set up )

( coda )

OH ETA: [info]melodyclark is here to show us all that even older women like to wank like horny thirteen year olds, but if she doesn't give it a rest I'm worried she's going to go blind, develop hairy palms, AND come down with a raging case of carpal tunnel syndrome.

thanks to [info]inquisition for the heads up.

eta 3.1415 The abyss is looking into us... and it's fucking stupid. :D

bonus lulz: [info]tzikeh point out to me that [info]melodyclark tried to edit her fanlore page.

( text for anyone who can't or doesn't want to load fanlore )
(1518 wanks | kerfluffle!)

Tuesday
December 29

[[info]tetradecimal] 02:42pm - The Adventure of the Special Snowflake

It was a frosty morning on the 29th of December when I was surprised to find Holmes already awake and active, pacing back and forth in a show of nervous energy before the hearth in a manner that suggested he had been waiting for me to arise for some time. Upon catching sight of me, he immediately presented me with a single piece of paper, now fraying slightly about the lines upon which it had been carefully folded.

( Come, Watson -- the game's afoot! )

( The Actual Wank )
(591 wanks | kerfluffle!)

Sunday
December 27

[[info]phosfate] 09:33pm - A friendly reminder from your beloved moderators
mood: Prettiful
music: cooling cookies

We've had a couple of instances recently of wankas noticing potential rule violations (underage subjects, personal information leakage, etc.) in comms. Which is great. Go you. Keep it up.

BUT please remember that your loving and benevolent mods can't check into dicey activity if we don't know about it. Like most of you, we don't read every comment in every post, because, like you, real life gets in the way, not all of us cook, and sometimes we get bored and wander off.

So, a request: if you see anything that looks icky, or have any questions or comments for the moderators, don't just make a "have the mods seen this?" comment. Please drop us an e-mail (including direct links is really, really helpful) to us at mods@thefannish.org.

Kisses.
(51 wanks | kerfluffle!)

[[info]snacky] 08:52pm - The Not So Triumphant Return of Victoria Bitter, aka thanfiction, part the third

Lost in the comments of the last post, [info]julian_black tells us that idiomagic has spit out the kool-aid.

The evil twin is yesterday's news, people. Now there's an UNDEAD SHAMAN-WIZARD.

Yeah, I'll repeat that: UNDEAD SHAMAN-WIZARD.

I don't even know. Does it top channeling fictional hobbits? You decide.



ETA: HOLD THE PHONE: UNDEAD SHAMAN-WIZARD EMAILS HERE! All personal info redacted, of course. Thanks [info]bacon_lover!

Also, idiomagic would like us to know that She never drank the kool-aid. She was *cue dramatic music* THE MOLE!

I dunno, there's a reason Deep Throat's identity was never revealed...





Reminder: please use male pronouns when referring to VB/thanfiction, and leave the transfail in the other post, thanks.
(1053 wanks | kerfluffle!)

[[info]dhole] 08:34am - It's funny, because it's called Outlaw Press.

Okay. This one isn't old, but it is about an old game; Tunnels and Trolls, the second role playing game ever published. It was a sort of simplified and sillier D&D, and while it had its enthusiasts, it more or less faded out of sight for a couple of decades.

Then came "the old school renaissance"; for one reason or another, people got back into the RPGs of the late 70s and early 80s. Sadly, I do not believe that they dress in period appropriate clothing while playing. So it's a renaissance, but not a faire type renaissance. Anyhow, T&T was one of those games which got a renewed surge of interest; the fifth edition of the game was published in 1979, and then there was a version 5.5 published in 2005.

Now, the company that originally published T&T was "Flying Buffalo", and they're still in business. But they weren't publishing much in the way of new stuff, so other people filled the gap. One such gap filler was "Outlaw Press", owned and operated by a fellow named James Shipman. T&T doesn't have an official 6th edition—it goes from 5.5 to 7, in part because Outlaw Press published an unofficial sixth edition, with the permission of the copyright holder.

So far, so incredibly boring, right?

But then ( things get interesting )
(84 wanks | kerfluffle!)
20 Older Wanks
Up to the Top 		Wankity wank wank wank. Fandom is fucking funny. Wear your tinfoil hat at all times. Squidwarts 4 evah. OMG WTF LOL!1!!! Gandshat is my fandom_wank OTP. Don't feed the wankers. Domlijah colors are orange + yellow. My fandom is wankier than yours. BNF = Backus Naur Form. We're not bad, we're just drawn that way. Equal opportunity mockers. Wank will eat itself, over and over and over and over. Stop reading this and find something funny.