Current music:	Madeline Peyroux, "I'm All Right"
Entry tags:	imdb

Borat!
IMDB wank is, as we all know, like shooting fish in a barrel. But sometimes one needs some light, effort-free wank to get through a hard week.

The latest entry in the sweepstakes is this thread from the board for Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan.

ckyarethebest starts the fun:

i cant believe the amount of people on here who bitch about borats movie and how its offensive to kasakstan. the kasakstanians...and you REALLY need to get a sense of humour. what is your sense on humour? romantic comedies? the character or borat is so obviously not what kasakstan is that it becomes hilarious. if someone from kasakstan is offended by this it just means that they recognise a little of themselves in the borat and are ashamed to say so. i dont cry everytime the americans steriotype the british as tea drinking inbred reletives to the queen and do you know why? becasue its funny.i also notice alot of people takin offense are americans. come on guys this is becasue borat made a fool of you isnt it.

And they're off! Lots of stuff, but this was one of my favorites.

musicfan_71: what the hell does taking the mick out of people mean? does it have something to do with COLOR? or something to do with the irish?

And then:

johnblox: So what if it is offensive? Good I say. In an era when Muslims go out and actually MURDER people for printing cartoons! Or who very recently MURDERED a 60 year old nun because the pope referenced back to a speech from 400 years ago in a single line of a speech he made that was FIFTEEN PAGES long and addrssed NOT to the public but to acadmecs, it is quite clear that these people DELIBERATLY look for offense and use it as political currency to justify the most barbaric acts.

wallflower88: wow what an authentic *beep*
firstly, people like you dont deserve to be listened to, but i did you the favour. your pathetic, you don't know what your talking about, and where the hell is ur dignity and self respect. you honestly look like a bag of *beep* right now.
what the hell does borat's movie have to do with your outrageous muslim accusations!? now give me an example of christian violence, hindu..JEWISH. just give me a few.

you won't have any. because you focus on the damn stereotypes that are so sadly followed and believed. you've just shown what kind of person you are, so i wont waste any more of my time.

And an attempt at earth logic, although the mention of "humours" makes me want to crack an alchemy joke:

wingkityboy: This movie is rated R and hence we can assume that the people allowed to watch this movie are mature enough to distinguish humours and facts.

Lots of crap writing, poor spelling and grammar, rantiness galore -- it's got something for everyone.

ETA: Forgot to add a link to this hilarious account of Borat's guerilla press conference outside the Kazhakstan embassy in Washington DC from a week and a half ago. Be sure to watch the video. Sacha Baron Cohen basically wins at life.

(Post a new comment)

	drhenryjekyll 2006-10-10 06:36 pm UTC (link)
	Actually, I know quite a few people who can attend rated R movies, and yet are incapable of distinguishing between 'humours' and facts. My old religion teacher, for one. (grumble grumble she told me I'd go to hell for thinking gay people could mary grumble grumble) (Reply to this)(Thread)

	semirecluse 2006-10-10 06:43 pm UTC (link)
	Wow, just for thinking it? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	drhenryjekyll 2006-10-10 07:01 pm UTC (link)
	She was harsh! She made us listen to that creepy-ass "I am two weeks old! I love you mommy!" abortion skit thing, too. Gave me nightmares. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	semirecluse 2006-10-10 07:04 pm UTC (link)
	...I'm afraid to ask about this skit you mention... asks anyway (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	becktionary 2006-10-10 07:47 pm UTC (link)
	I'm not sure if s/he's referring to Li'l Markie's "Diary of an Unborn Child," but if you want "I'm two weeks old! I love you, Mommy!", you should look no further. IMO, at least. You can collect pretty much the full Li'l Markie oeuvre, including a fightening concert video, here. There's also this piece of awesome to look at. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	becktionary 2006-10-10 07:50 pm UTC (link)
	...Uh. A frightening concert video, that is. Be careful with it, BTW. I get that song stuck in my head a lot--sometimes I just find myself humming "I will praise You, for I am fearfully made! I am fearfully and wonderfully made!" and wonder where I went wrong in life. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	drhenryjekyll 2006-10-10 08:51 pm UTC (link)
	Yeah, that's it! There's also this wikipedia article: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diary_of_an_Unborn_Child God, it's so fucking creepy. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	What the Christ? zealot 2006-10-10 08:58 pm UTC (link)
	I think the mommy and daddy mentioned in the song must be Kermit and Miss Piggy, because the fetus sounds like a muppet. He can't be serious. Can he? (Reply to this)(Parent)

	semirecluse 2006-10-11 01:00 am UTC (link)
	Why did you kill me, Mommy? When God made me special for you? I really wanted to see you And put my little arms around you. Why did you kill me, Mommy? Because I thought you really cared for me. And I wonder what I would have grown up to be. I guess I’ll never know 'Cause Mommy, you killed me. ...I don't know whether to laugh or cry. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	ahiru 2006-10-11 03:13 am UTC (link)
	Is it wrong that that song makes me glad its mommy killed it? I really wanted to see you And put my little arms around you (and choke you with my demon strength). Kill it! Kill it quickly! (Reply to this)(Parent)

warchio
2006-10-11 01:18 am UTC (link)

See, this is clearly not aimed at me. Because I'm not thinking 'Awwww, poor widdle fetus. Baby, lets call the no kill shelter and have implanted in me so he can live?' I'm thinking: ...ok, that kid had a disturbingly serious oedipal complex. He'd have probably grown up to become a serial killer and kept his mother locked in his wardrobe.

Thank goodness she had an abortion!

.....

Also the woman was clearly not going to be a good mother because she'd clearly not watched the warnings about letting your child have unmonitored internet access in the womb. I just hope she had a wireless network because otherwise that would be uncomfortable.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	dragonfangirl 2006-10-11 10:45 am UTC (link)
	You win TODAY'S made-me-inhale-cornflakes award. :D (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	warchio 2006-10-11 07:41 pm UTC (link)
	bows Thank you, thank you. I can't say how much this means to me. I would like to thank the wankas, the person who thought up Creepy McFetus and sleep deprivation! :D (Reply to this)(Parent)

	seppuku 2006-10-11 10:23 pm UTC (link)
	And I will be a boy. I will have blonde hair and blue eyes. Nearly everything is settled already. Sounded a little too "The same thing we do every night! Try to take over the world!" to me. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	mastervex 2006-10-11 08:01 am UTC (link)
	AUGH. AUGH. AUGH. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	(Anonymous) 2006-10-11 03:45 pm UTC (link)
	Ho, does that mean Holland is hell? It seems far too wet and green... (Reply to this)(Parent)

	kahteh 2006-10-10 06:51 pm UTC (link)
	wallflower88: wow what an authentic beep Is it wrong that I'm always hugely amused by people who censor out their own swearing? (Reply to this)(Thread)

	ghostmaster 2006-10-10 06:59 pm UTC (link)
	Nope. I used to be on a board where either the admin couldn't figure out how to activate the auto-censor or he was too lazy to try. So we had to censor ourselves for a while or risk banning. There was a whole thread dedicated to such gems as: "You beep squawk cow moo little wolf whistle..." Just on and on and on... (Reply to this)(Parent)

	moriath 2006-10-10 07:09 pm UTC (link)
	I was grading tests today for high schoolers and came across one that decribed a character as a "d***" I about started laughing in the middle of the class. Anyway, I always thought that IMDB automatically censored cursing? The censoring "beep" is always so uniform that I was sure it had to be put in automatically.... (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	zealot 2006-10-10 07:32 pm UTC (link)
	Yeah, they censor it automatically, those *****. They're not team players. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	kahteh 2006-10-10 07:58 pm UTC (link)
	Aww, now I'm disappointed. :'-( (Reply to this)(Parent)

	(Anonymous) 2006-10-10 07:24 pm UTC (link)
	I knew a kid who would say "beep". Like, make a beep sound in place of normal swears. I babysat for him...he would be like "You're a beeeeeeeping beeeeeeep". Kid watched WAY too much Springer. :p (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	(Anonymous) 2006-10-12 01:55 pm UTC (link)
	I was in Year 6 when Asshole came out. The only way people could sing it on the bus was to sing "I'm a beep beeeep" and so on. For YEARS I had no idea what the song was really called. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	rikiki 2006-10-10 07:16 pm UTC (link)
	Ali G's making a Borat movie? Sweet! Oh, there's wank? (Reply to this)

	Borat wank! zealot 2006-10-10 07:30 pm UTC (link)
	Hee. I've got one wanking all over a vid I uploaded onto YouTube. I can't quite determine if he's a troll. Either way, I want to make a romance inside of him. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	Re: Borat wank! hangingfire 2006-10-10 07:31 pm UTC (link)
	YouTube is, I've decided, a magnificent unplumbed mine of wank. I've stumbled across some good ones lately. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: Borat wank! zealot 2006-10-10 07:33 pm UTC (link)
	It really is. Only worsens my YouTube addiction. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	(Anonymous) 2006-10-10 07:41 pm UTC (link)
	In an era when Muslims go out and actually MURDER people for printing cartoons! Because, you know, all Muslims (and only Muslims) ever kill people over stupid things! It's practically an initiation rite! O-kay! -musemouse (Reply to this)(Thread)

	(Anonymous) 2006-10-10 09:01 pm UTC (link)
	Oh yes, and it's also a perfectly reasonable justification behaving assinine ourselves! Right-oh. /addition to sarcasm (Reply to this)(Parent)

	ruuger 2006-10-10 07:45 pm UTC (link)
	I have no idea what's going on with the wank, but the official site for the Borat movie is a thing of beauty, especially Borat's MySpace and his response to the Kazhakstan government :) (Reply to this)(Thread)

	iwanttobeasleep 2006-10-10 09:13 pm UTC (link)
	Ah! My eyes! (Reply to this)(Parent)

	lroy 2006-10-10 10:06 pm UTC (link)
	I love the pictures, especially the one of Borat in some kind of stretchy thing that appears to be the World's Unsexiest Thong, titled, "Me with free prostitutes". (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	(Anonymous) 2006-10-11 01:03 am UTC (link)
	"World's Unsexiest Thong" would also be a good name for a band. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	semirecluse 2006-10-11 01:03 am UTC (link)
	Hmm, capslock_house appears to have done the web design. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	out_bottle 2006-10-10 08:04 pm UTC (link)
	Aw, my favorite: rants about serious subjects so full of misspellings and lower case misuse that even the people I agree with come off like morons! Yay! Is it wrong to want some Capslocks people to show up, just for balance? (Reply to this)(Thread)

	(Anonymous) 2006-10-10 08:32 pm UTC (link)
	Very (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	out_bottle 2006-10-10 08:47 pm UTC (link)
	I thought as much. sigh (Reply to this)(Parent)

	judyhazeleyes 2006-10-10 10:02 pm UTC (link)
	what the hell does taking the mick out of people mean? does it have something to do with COLOR? or something to do with the irish? pepsimonitor It's because I'm white, isn't it? (Reply to this)

	wrongly_amused 2006-10-10 10:35 pm UTC (link)
	I'm kind of horrified to know that the most I know about Kazhakstan is what I learned from Borat. (Reply to this)

	eviemouse 2006-10-10 11:10 pm UTC (link)
	acadmecs Heh... (Reply to this)

ryuutchi
2006-10-11 12:49 am UTC (link)

I can't do this. I just can't. Because every time I think about Kazakhstan, I think about a college friend who spent his entire last yea rof college obsessed with the place. (This was made funnier by the fact that he knew just about everything about Kazakh culture, and could probably translate lines of Star Trek into Kazakh, but had no idea for the life of him who Marlon Brando was.)

(Reply to this)

	(Anonymous) 2006-10-11 02:10 am UTC (link)
	I have absolutely no idea what "wallflower88" is trying to say. Usually I can get the gist of the meaning despite some incoherance, but this time....does not compute. DOES NOT. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	(Anonymous) 2006-10-11 11:13 pm UTC (link)
	That's because you are interrogating the text from the wrong perspective. Obviously, it's an encrypted message. It's not supposed to make any sense at all unless you know the cipher. ~paranoid mouse (Reply to this)(Parent)

notmonkey
2006-10-11 04:57 am UTC (link)

This wank actually made headline news in the UK. It was an end of bulletin item on the BBC news - that the president of Kazakstan was NOT amused. The newsreader Fiona Bruce was, however. They were showing clips from the film in the report and when it cut back to the studio it was the only time in my life I have ever seen a BBC newsreader looking as though she was about to collapse in hopeless giggles. If that film is even nearly as funny as 'Borat's Television Programme' then it's going to be fucking funny.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

	hangingfire 2006-10-11 06:06 am UTC (link)
	There was a story going around in the US that while the president of Kazhakstan was visiting here, he was due to meet with Bush to discuss the Borat film. Turns out that while the presidents were indeed due to meet, Borat was not on the agenda. Which is too bad. I'd have LOVED to have been a fly on the wall during that conversation. For oh so many reasons. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	community_care 2006-10-11 09:44 am UTC (link)
	Now someone only has to recall that Sacha B-C is the nephew of Simon Baron-Cohen, autism doyen, and lo, cue Asperger's wank as well! Oops. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	chibicurmudgeon 2006-10-11 05:53 pm UTC (link)
	ZOMG BORAT HAS ASPERGERS!!!! (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	solar_type_star 2006-10-11 09:32 pm UTC (link)
	OMG WILSON SEZ SO!!! (I watched the lovely Sean Astin yesterday on "Click"... with that red Speedo... Um). (Reply to this)(Parent)