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platypus (![[info]](http://www.journalfen.net/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} platypus) wrote in ![[info]](http://www.journalfen.net/img/community.gif){kind=small} fandom_wank,@ 2006-10-20 23:32:00 |
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| Current mood: | Caffeinated |
| Entry tags: | political wank, sorting communities |
Ann Coulter applies to hogwarts_elite
At hogwarts_elite sorting is Serious Bizness. . They've bartended in the dark, exploded in outrage when mocked, and writhed in indignation when applicants sneakily deleted squib votes in an attempt to beat the system. And that's before we even mention "Aspberger's." Calm and placid types they ain't.
So when a rabid right winger (primary targets: gays, ethnic minorities, the poor and the mentally ill) and Voldemort fangirl applies to the community, and then proceeds to answer the question "What's one thing you would do if you knew you would suffer no consequences from it?" with the words:
Manipulate the US presidential elections in order to place myself at the head of the nation, and then alter the constitution both to give myself extraordinary powers, and to retain office for twenty years with an option for a further twenty should I so desire. I would also wish it to be that the remuneration of the role increase in order to found a family fortune of considerable dimensions, to maintain the presidential lifestyle, prestige and status into my retirement.
As President I would no longer need to consider the wearisome whinings of Congress and the Senate, but could govern with free reign and at my absolute discretion. My key policies would be as follows:
1) Enforce strict austerity measures upon the poor. It is neither helpful nor fair on any of the parties to take from one sector their hard earned monies, and then channel that via a series of state waterfalls to another societal group. To do so is to create a nexus of parasite state bodies, to sap the ambitions and entrepreneurial hungers of both sides, and to keep the poor in a perpetual state of infantilized inertia. Abolition of all politically correct initiatives to salve white guilt should also be immediately instituted; the inherent insult to all non-whites is glaringly apparent. While no minority groups should have rights withdrawn, the baffling demands of certain groups to have their lifestyles imposed upon everyone else should be resisted; nobody should be forced to accept an assault upon their traditions and beliefs. Since the habits of the bedroom should remain private, efforts to drag these into the public eye should, similarly, be firmly resisted. The exceptions should not seek to dictate the rule; most particularly the rule of law, and the agitations to the contrary are vulgar and distasteful.
2) Close all borders and promptly withdraw from all overseas military engagements that are not vital to protect US national interests. We should desire to be neither the world's policeman nor its soup kitchen, and should focus inwards before seeking to assist, protect and defend the interests of non-Americans. A working individual's pay check should not be denuded for a cause he benefits from not a whit, and the ludicrously overblown sentimentality that causes vast sums of US monies to be idly squandered upon lost and hopeless causes is a national disgrace. We should also promptly withdraw from the UN, who abuse our hospitality and our patience in equal measure.
you could justifiably predict that they'd go batshit. Only...they don't. On the whole they're fairly patient; a few even trying to gently explain that her style of interaction may be counter productive. The troll/Ann Coulter clone scores a couple of fairly spectacular own goals when she tells a woman who works in Congress to read more newspapers to overcome her political naivity, and a lawyer to stop being jealous of those with a legal education. Pride of place, however, must go to erbylikewhoa</a>, who squibs her by saying,
4. Though this perverts my previous sentiments of in-the-dark bartending, I will triumph my instinctive beliefs, rend myself pachydermous, and stick to my original statements.
7. Perhaps I have been left comose due to the nature of this application or else you may perceive me as simply viraginous, but to say that you have no disingenuous desires (to play heroine and so forth, but that is a frivolous import)? You hide behind a theca of verbosity and expect me to miss this phrase?
10. Well I suppose it was but an eventuality for my admittace of the fact that at the termination of every week, I conceal myself in a tenebrous corner of my bedroom and listen to dismal music one may characterize as "emo" and wallow in self-compunction. Yet still, might I not be a great omnipotent authority? Why, perhaps. Perhaps.
Most of the community appear to believe she is a troll, and make that plain. A few are too bothered by her year-old paid account and fifty odd entries to agree, though others question if anyone could really be that much of a gaping twat. A few more don't care either way, and declare undying devotion on sheer entertained principle, with such love tokens as Hillary Clinton's scalp and Michael Moore's dismembered body laid on the altar.
"You might bring Hillary's scalp...
I, for the love of Cressida, would render Michael Moore's fat into romantic candles, dyed a seductive red with the blood of bipolar lesbians. I can also sautee baby harp seals. Top that."
At least one member genuinely appears to agree with her political beliefs. A Gryffindor. Good to know it isn't only Slytherins that approve of nocturnal bartending.
There's the obligatory Fandom Wank reference, and a random bonus reference to lafeemechante, too.
