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NM (![[info]](http://www.journalfen.net/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} narcissam) wrote in ![[info]](http://www.journalfen.net/img/community.gif){kind=small} fandom_wank,@ 2006-10-22 16:28:00 |
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| Entry tags: | fandom: harry potter, snapes on an astral plane |
"Severus, come to me/ Be the light for me/ So I can see/ Life's beauty/ Guide me to destiny."
NB. This is a fairly long post, since the forum I'm linking to is unreliable in its availability at any given time, and there's just so much here to turn your mind inside out. Also, warning for extreme creepiness and fannish mental instability. Thanks to julian_black who first discovered this fan.
SeverelyObsessed/Lady Darkness was in love with Severus Snape. So she did what any red-blooded woman would do and made a webpage in honour of that love. On the webpage were many pictures of Alan Rickman, but also her Marriage Vows To Snape.
My Personal Unbreakable Vow to Severus...
My Unbreakable Vow to Severus Snape
I promise to be always faithful in body and mind, and never love another man.
I promise to love and cherish you all of my life.
I promise to respect and honour you all of my life.
I promise to dedicate all of my life to you.
I promise to stand by you in good times and bad times.
I promise to protect and guard you, and to prevent you from any harm.
I promise to provide anything you need for you.
I promise to take the best care of you.
I promise to use your name with the respect it deserves.
I promise to always wear the ring with your name in it, as a symbol of my love.
I promise to obey you, no matter what.
I promise to respect your wishes and not to be selfish.
I promise to look after you in sickness and in health.
I solemnly promise all of this to you, Severus Snape, my only love.
May these words create a strong loving bond, which can only be broken by death.
If I break the promises made, or treat you not in the manner I should be, I'll make sure I'll die.
May all the good forces and spirits bless our love eternally....
So it will be done...
Lady Darkness
In case the viewer was left unaware of her total devotion to S. Snape, she also posted a photograph of her shrine to the Potions Master.
The course of true love never did run smooth. After a time, she felt she was slipping in her devotion to Snape. Days would go by when she didn't post more than a hundred squeeing messages on various Snape fan forums. Eventually she had to renew her vows.
Dear Severus,But that was not all. No, no, that was not all.
This is my way to let you know I still live by the Vows I pledged to you.
I still am so faithful to you, and you’re always on my mind.
I will do more to show my love to you, I feel I neglected it too much.
You’re so good to me, I should do something special every day for you,
and that would still not be enough.
I will stop demanding you to come and see me, as I should respect your wishes.
I was wrong and you were right, you have taught me this.
From now on, I will live totally according to your wishes, obedient and patient.
I know I didn’t before, but all this has changed as of today.
I will work at my shrine for you everyday, will dedicate my life all to you.
I will keep all my promises to you.
I will show you my gratitude that I have found you and you have shown yourself to me.
I should be honoured you know of my existence and I am.
I will not ever do something you don’t approve, and will not wish things to be different.
I will dedicate every rite I do to you, unless it’s necessary to do otherwise.
I that case, I will ask your permission first, as you know.
I am ready to submit my entire life to you, I hope you’ll know this.
My purpose here is to pleasure you in every way I can, the way you have chosen for me.
I will be your everything you wish of me, my only goal is to be with you in harmony.
My Dearest, I hope you will feel this message, knowing I have understood your wishes.
I accept you totally, as you have accepted me for the person I am.
Here I’ll always be yours, as I will be when I’ve passed on.
My soul will always belong to you, as will my heart.
You are the only one worthy to love, and I will not hold back loving you ever.
Be well my Dearest Severus…for ever yours..
Lady Darkness
Lady Darkness created a forum to discuss Snape with her fellow Snape worshippers. (Severus must be a spiritual polygamist.) Together, they discussed Snape's underwear, his pitiful childhood, Alan Rickman's hotness, James Potter's cruelty, Evanescence lyrics, their self-insert fanfics, and most importantly, Snape's messages for them in their dreams.
So many posts there, so little time to boggle at them, but here is a sample.
Snapemaniac: Making pictures of Severus is an obsession. But I can only make them if he is with me. He has helped me make a lot of pictures, over the past 5 years.
Lady Darkness: understand, I can only write when I can concentrate on my love for him. Indeed he feels so very close then, like he's looking over your shoulder to see if you do it like he wants it to be..
Sometimes I don't write for weeks, and then suddenly I am a writing machine..endless and full of ideas.
Putting on some music helps though..if you know what he likes.
Ever tried classical? It works really well, I think he likes it, just like he likes the dark music (not too fast, a little vampire rock style )
I hope he'll be telling you to keep making pictures, they're awesome! Some are so good I feel so moved by them I have to see them, and yes..he feels so close then *sigh*
soon that will not be enough anymore I'm afraid
It grieved Lady Darkness that Snape rarely showed up in her dreams, and so often showed up in Tonya/Snapemaniac's dreams. She made up for this by giving Snapemaniac messages to pass on. For example.
Lady Darkness: This song was in my last dream of Severus..it was accompanied with a task I can't remember..I hope I will soon. Coldplay - Hardest PartIncidentally, Severus Snape is an accomplished poet and Snapemaniac channels the poetry he writes. Check it out.
still don't know why I dreamt of the song, maybe I need to see holding on is harder, or maybe I need to see we are inseperable..
I don't know, but I wished he'd give me a clue on it. Somehow I think th task had something to do with it, but I really can't recall more than a word I should read (or a line). He didn't tell me in person, it was in my head I needed to do this for Severus. What if I needed to do it, and then he'd return?
What if he'd only return if I did it..darn..I really can't recall, and that makes me feel crappy and hollow inside..
Dear Tonya, can you let him know I forgot, and that I'm so sorry? I can't really sleep here, there's always someone who wakes me up too early, in the middle of a dream. I really feel so stupid...
Snapemaniac: I will try to ask him. So far, he is remaining silent to me on you.
But I think the answer is in the lyrics of that song.
What are you holding onto? What do you fear? Perhaps something needs to be released? Fears, doubts, uncertainty? Surrender your control to him, maybe?
I will keep trying to get him to answer.
And then the letters. Lady Darkness's passionate letters to her spiritual spouse merited a whole forum on their own. Picking one at random.
June 4, 2006: Right now it's sunday evening and as usual, I'm writing. My heart misses you, now more than ever. I know you are so busy, but please be so kind to pay me a visit soon, I feel like I'm already dead inside. I look at you every day, wishing and pleading you'll stand in front of me, sweeping me off my feet. It's cold without you Severus..so cold.To this and other letters, Severus Snape actually responded. He's registered on the boards, you see. As Professor S. Snape. But such a facade only sometimes contented Lady Darkness, as at other times she spoke longingly of ever getting to talk with Snape.
I can't write you anything good, not one single line had my approval today, I need you to be my inspiration, my hunger, my passion. I'm all dried up now, like an old bottle of ink, waiting to be tossed away. Please don't toss me away my Dearest...I love you so it hurts me so deep a razorcut couldn't even come close.
I'll wait for you until you come to me at night, making me feel yours again. Sometimes I doubt myself, please don't look down on me when I do. You are much stronger than I could ever be, though I try to be. You are my guiding light, my model. You gave me the strength, and now I only show weakness in return, by pleading here how much I miss you.
Be with me soon, I need your encouragement to go on, without you there'll be no tomorrow, no future. Call me a weak woman, as I am, but the hurt of missing you is greater than all other in my life.
See me trying, watch me kneel down every night, and know all comes from my heart. You can trust me my Dearest, I will always be on your side, and only love you. There's no reason to stay away from me, I won't betray you, or even claim you. You'll be as free as you were before, just please this once..I need it so. I'll be forever thankful for that My Dearest...make me feel again, take away the cold inside of me and see what I could mean to you...
Be well My Dearest...always..
Then, in August, tragedy struck. Tonya/Snapemaniac betrayed the trust of the good and bountiful Severus. Perhaps her heart was not pure enough. Perhaps she was finally getting weirded out by Lady Darkness. But she posted on her LJ an analysis of Snape's faults, ending with the words,
Okay...this could go on and on.The wrath of Lady Darkness was sudden and swift. EXCUSE ME??? was the title of her thread devoted to denouncing Snapemaniac's post.
This is how Severus truly is. It is his nature and he won't change for any of us.
Maybe it is time to put what we project onto him aside and see him as he truly is.
OK, before I will start telling you all why I am writing this, first I want to tell Severus something:Here one remaining acolyte jumped in with her agreement. Snapemaniac had taken Severus's name in vain, and henceforth her name must be oblivion.
I am so sorry these fans even dare to speak your name..obviously this one is not loyal or even trying to understand what makes you you...
I feel ashamed some speak like this about you, as I feel you deserve better.. Please note there are fans that do accept you as you are, and not all find more negative sides to you than positive ones..
I felt tempted to react, but as I don't want to start another war, and as you would probably tell me to put my energy in things that do matter, I decided to place my reaction to this insanity here.
I feel disgusted by this, as you probably would too..
Severus, all I can say is that to me, all of this rubbish is just what it looked like: rubbish and lies. To me, you are perfect the way you are. The 'flaws' mentioned are not flaws as such, but merely fantasy made up by the writer, and for the other part just characteristics..the ones some claim to like, but in fact don't have a clue as to understanding why you are as you are..
I do..as you know I share many of your 'flaws', which kept us alive and with our noses up all of these harsh years..
Be well Severus, and know I will always be right beside you, loving and loyal..no matter what happens..
So..before some might think I am starting a war..I am not, just reacting to something I read, and if the author of this thinks I am provoking her.. I am not, this is my opinion, and you don't have to agree with it. (or just send me a PM, let's talk..)
What am I talking about then? This is why I am mad and steaming:
http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-mrE6p2IifrCULLHTGjDZGBs7fFs-?cq=1&p=256
Now I don't know if I have to add here I fully disagree with the content of this, and that I think this whole piece of work should be ignored..(so why don't I?? I just couldn't..I feel ashamed this is on the net, coming from a fan... )
Let's all face it...if you are a fan of Professor Severus Snape..make sure you are a loyal one, and not someone like this..
A true fan is loyal, and don't go thinking I am blinded..
I do know he's not easy..wasn't this what we all liked about him?
I am not denying he has flaws, but we all do, and if you try to understand his character better, you would know/see these 'flaws' are a logical product of the life he has led/still leads.
Besides, some things that are in these two lists...HOW ON EARTH WOULD YOU KNOW FOR MERLIN'S SAKE???
And just one thing: if you truly love Severus, and know him well..how would you think he liked this? Do you like to see his reaction, or don't you care you have probably hurt his feelings (not that he would ever admit)??
*sighs* I hate it when people call themselves a fan and then do this...
Lady Darkness's message for readers: Dear people who read this, if you call yourself a fan of Severus' and devoted, loyal and such:Snapemaniac retaliated by posting again about Snape's faults, bringing on threats from Lady Darkness:
PLEASE DO HIM AND HIS NAME JUSTICE AND STAND BY HIM, DO NOT HIGHLIGHT OR MAKE UP HIS 'BAD' SIDES IF HE HAS SO MUCH GOOD SIDES.. BESIDES, BEFORE CRITICIZING SEVERUS..YOU MIGHT JUST WANT TO TAKE A LOOK IN THE MIRROR FIRST...are you perfect, without sin??? Well then you should be in the bloody museum, because no one is..
I can't even start to explain how ff-ing ANGRY I am right now, and yes..this DOES mean a war if the author was in my vicinity...All things must end.
Here is the new filth:
http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-mrE6p2IifrCULLHTGjDZGBs7fFs-?cq=1&p=266
JUST SO YOU KNOW, WHO EVER YOU ARE, AND WHATEVER YOU THINK: NO ONE..ABSOLUTELY NO ONE INSULTS SEVERUS IN THIS WAY AND GETS AWAY WITH IT.. and yes dear..this is what it looks like, so if you are lurking, please stop this filth, as Severus Snape never did anything to you and does NOT deserve your frustration and filthy writing..
Even passionate internet romances with Severus Snape. On September 19, 2006:
Dearest Severus,and
This might be my last letter to you..
Not because I stop loving you..I can't do that..ever
Not because I am too weak..or because I found someone..you are still my light ..there will NEVER be anyone else but you, and right now I am stronger than ever, dealing with so much sh*t my head explodes.
This might be the last one, because I have to let you go..for you, and for me.
Try to stop me if you do care.. I dare you Severus Snape.. stop me from letting go and tell me you notice me..
Loving you ... I will never stop..I just have to move on, I am sure you will see what I mean, that is..if you ever noticed what I go through lately..
I need my strength to fight for my kids..
No more asking, waiting and pleading, no more rituals..at all..
If you want me..stop me
If you don't..let me go.. or tell me you hate me (that makes it easier)
Please understand.. I miss you so much it takes away all my energy and fighting spirit. I only want to be with you, while I should be looking after my kids.. Set my mind free or be there for me..
I dare and beg you...
I am sorry Severus..apparently you were right all along.. I am not the One, and I will never be worthy to be..
Just forget about me..
Always yours..that will never change..NEVER
Be well my Dearest...please forgive me my weaknesses
One day later....And so end the letters to Snape. But not the Snape obsession. The forum and website are still going strong, as are all the other forums where Lady Darkness posts. And what would lost love be without an image of a dead rose to commemorate it?
Indeed ..that was my last letter..
You already know why I say this..I wish you well with the woman/women of your choice Severus..
Now I know it was never me..if you ever want to know where I am..look for me in the shadows..
I apologize for all the grief I have caused..I did not mean to.
I was selfish, uncontrolled and stupid..
I will move on with you in my heart..that will never change..no one can make me lose that too, not even you Severus...
Be well and happy..I will always love you!
The title of this post is taken from a poem to Severus on the main page of Lady Darkness' webpage.
ETA: On October 14, Lady Darkness and Snapemaniac reconciled. Said Snapemaniac, "I have returned to the Master's Dungeons. My loyalties lie with Severus. As of today, they're talking about how it'd feel to be "caught full force in that glare" of Snape's.
ETA 2: 'I have made a vow, and I intend to stick to it, even if that means I will never be touched or kissed in my life again. I did without it for 8 years, so what's another 8 to add or more?': Why She Broke Up With Severus.
ETA 3: Snapemaniac is just as nuts. "Severus Snape intimidates JKRowling. This is why she wouldn't want to meet him. She is afraid of him."
ETA 4: Snapemaniac has shown up here and offers a crushing commentary on the immaturity of Fandom Wank. I'd usually respond, "I agree. Alan Rickman is Hot" but in this case it might be best not to encourage the Rickman thing. And she's going to explain to us all why Snape is real too.
ETA 5: Lady Darkness has made an post on her LJ here about how everyone who doesn't believe in Snape is crazy, and she and Snapemaniac are the truly sane ones. I think that about wraps up this wank. Remember, no trolling.
ETA 6: I was wrong. Snape's Rose, who has previously been discussed here as the woman who has Snape's name tatooed on her, has something to say too.
ETA 7: I wasn't going to ETA anymore, but well,
Snapemaniac's comment to SnapeTatoo!Rose:
"Hey Rose! Did you know that Severus warned me quite a while back to beware who found out about us believing in him? Plus, more recently, HE told me to beware who I trust/speak to on the computer.ETA 8: It's official. Snape has forbidden his followers to post at Fandom Wank.
Now I know why.
He is something."
5002 comments and we're done! Thanks everyone for coming! The after-party's at Fandom Lounge.
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