My dearest camilla has already put this on fandom_lounge but I'll be damned if it hasn't progressed far enough to be f_w'ed proper.
faithfulreader is a very special snowflake in that he has a cock and he is gay. These two factors are important because that makes his word gospel over - well, say, mine, given that I do not own a cock and I am not entirely gay. But whatevs.
So anyway, he has written these guides on how to write slash: or more accurately, "how to write porn that I will be turned on by and will meet my fittingly exact standards for what I want to see, you big meany poo heads". And HE IS NOT IMPRESSED THAT YOU DON'T REVERE HIS VENOM COCK. What, the guy in the twenty-three hundred dollar suit is supposed to accept that other people have different standards for their porn? Come on!