Current mood:

Mildly Amused

Snapes on an Astral Plane Returns!
Quick, someone think up a clever title for a blockbuster sequel!

Thank you, mousie on wank_report, for this.

I'm sure the recent Snapewank is still fresh in everybody's mind, but goodness gracious, Christmas must have come early, because it's the wank that keeps on wanking. A new chapter has unfolded in the saga of Snape's most severely obsessed fans. You see, Lady Darkness, Snapemaniac, and SnapesRose (the three lead characters in Snapes on an Astral Plane: A Fandom Wank Musical) seem to have encountered a little bit of turbulence on their astral flight. Is Snape's internet harem breaking up? For reals this time?

First piece of evidence is the Wall of Shame on Lady Darkness's SeverelyObsessed message board. Though the thread was started in August, there has never before been a need to post anyone there until this past Saturday, at which pointed Snapemaniac's name begins the list of the damned banned.

*sigh* and here I was hoping this thread would never get a reply. Well it did, as the first one is officially banned as of yesterday. This time I will not undo it either, like I did the last time.

Enough is enough, and I will not tolerate more bullsh*t about Severus. He is a respectable man, and should be treated that way.

Treat others like you would want to be treated

I am sure this does not apply to you,

Snapemaniac

You speak of respect for Severus and how others abuse his name. Tell me, what is it called what you do?
Do you think he would fuss over the use of a name if you keep spreading those filthy lies?
Hey I was not there, I don't know all I admit, but you were not there either, so don't tell me you KNOW that for a fact.

Merlin only the thought of that makes me sick.

You have created a criminal out of him, a merciless sex offender.
Let me tell you: he is not, and if there's anyone in need of meds or help it will be you.

The next day, SnapesRose is added to that list.

...and ON it goes: another one joined the ranks.

SnapesRose

You thought it was really necessary to stir everything up while we agreed on a truce. Well dear, let me tell you (and I know being crazy myself) you are really the craziest on this planet.

Not only are you ignorant in seeing what Severus Snape really is like, you also glorify unspeakable things and think you are so perfect. You are sick and perverted and no longer welcome in my quarters.

If you feel the need to fight me, then do so by all means. I am ready for you lot, as I will try to prove Einstein wrong: you CAN fight stupidity and I WILL.

You speak of love for Severus but in fact you don't love him, you use him for your own sick world of domination and submission and think rape is cool.

You told me to read the books, well I suggest you take your own advice as well, as NOWHERE in these great books is a clue to be found Severus Snape is as sick as you are.

Thank Merlin and JK Rowling for that!

*now if you want to excuse me, I am going to throw up*

Oh my goodness gracious! Such strong words! What has happened, one has to wonder. Perhaps looking at SnapesRose's livejournal will provide a hint.

So it makes me look like a sleazy slut huh? Fine! However being celibate for 9 yrs doesn't proof shit to me either!

For all I know, you can masturbate. Oh and don't tell me you don't! Hell, you are not only a woman but human as well. Considering too all the child porn, and misbehavings of priests have come to the surface, no my dear, you are full of it.

According to Snapesthorn, Lady Darkness talks about being celibate "constantly", causing SnapesRose to declare, "I think you need to get fucking LAID!!!" She goes on to defend the male gender in general, before finally addressing the insinuations Lady Darkness made in her bannination posts.

And... LOL ....do you know what a rapist is all about!?!?
Power and control! He has them both! So YES, I can see him doing that!

and then suggests that Lady Darkness is not as attuned to Snape as she is. Or rather, that the Snape that appears to Lady Darkness is different from the one who appears to SnapesRose and Snapemaniac. So Lady Darkness better get her spiritual rear in gear and get with the program:

I dont know if you will read this or not, quite frankly I dont' give a shit! What I know is what I know! And I know that he IS very much real to me and he IS in fact Severus Snape. How do I know taht?
Well, I've felt him, not only on my body, in my mind, he has made himself very evident in many things in my life. Just because his spirit is out of sync with my eyes doesn't mean anything. And in that part I said you need to be spiritually become more aware, so that he CAN move better in your life, and NOT only or just sexual!

SnapesRose ends her rant on a thorn, telling Lady Darkness, "Personally I think you are Bi-Polar and need Meds!"

In turn, Lady Darkness responds to SnapesRose's allegations in detail in her own livejournal. To begin with, she states her reasons for responding in a public journal post (and even gives us wankas a shout-out, though she mistakenly calls us Wankers). Then, paragraph by paragraph, point by point, blow by blow, she responds to SnapesRose's rant, claiming SnapesRose has a "sick mind" and essentially telling her that she shouldn't really be the first to cast stones. Perhaps the most stinging barb ("With friends like you, he [Severus] does not need enemies") comes immediately before Lady Darkness suggests that SnapesRose and SnapeManiac haven't been channelling the true spirit of Snape after all. She concludes with the following:

Well, this was round two, and for all I care there will be a lot of those. I have to say though, I thought it was already over, as Rose's friend and I came to an agreement. I think DEAR Rose felt left out and wanted to throw tomatoes to the crazy as well, well now is her chance. Who am I to deny her that?

Snapesmaniac is either invisible or strangely mute throughout all of this. Either that, or I just haven't found where she's vented. Perhaps she's following Snape's advice and watching out who she talks to on the internet after all.

In summary, both sides think the other is crazier, and both claim the other's personal Snape is false (will the real Sev Snapey please stand up?). And it looks like what started it was Snape's sex life. Deep down, I think we all knew Snape's harem wouldn't be able to share him peacefully after all. And, in the end, just as always, a winner is wank.

ETA: SnapesRose's livejournal entry is now friendslocked. On top of that, it turns out that Lady Darkness had emailed Narcissam, asking to be wanked. The plot thickens. Who knows what the next twist in the tale shall be!

ETA 2: Snapemaniac seems to be taking the high road this time.

Correction: Looks like SnapesRose's lj entry wasn't just flocked, it was bah-leeted.

ETA 3: tez sez that Lady Darkness has issued an apology to SnapesRose and Snapemaniac. Will kisses and hugs and happily-ever-afters come next?

ETA 4: SnapesRose has responded to Lady Darkness, and has mused in her own journal about how real the Master is. Is anyone else suddenly in the mood for a little "Manos" The Hands of Fate?