Mini-finale, mini-wank
Warning: This wank features disappearing corpses polar bears Harold Perrineaus comments. I will do my best to reconstruct, having only discovered it post-baleetion.

lost_tv is usually a pretty dull comm in a surprisingly unwanky fandom. You'd think that if trouble did pop up, it would be about shipping, since this season has offered so many delicious developments in the Skate-or-Jate drama that has gripped absolutely no one familiar with the concept of the OT3. Er, I mean, that has gripped the nation. But oh, you'd be wrong! The Skaters and Jaters have been living side-by-side peaceably, refraining from kidnapping each other, throwing each other into bear cages, or giving each other exploding pacemakers. The problem is with those damn execs.

ABC decided to go out on a limb this year with its OMGWTFSOPHOMORESLUMP hit Lost by breaking the 22-episode season into two mini-seasons, each running without repeats, separated by a hiatus in the middle. Naturally, and in a manner entirely undesired by ABC executives, this daring television innovation has attracted media attention. And wank.

The NYT runs a piece on the strange Lost scheme, and quotes the show's producers and studio VPs to explain why things are happening as they are. Fans' senses of entitlement being what they are, these explanations fail to satisfy.

_bio_hazard_: its all doubletalk from ABC. Fox can do a continuous run in January with 24 but ABC cant? come on, just who are they trying to fool.

corkdorkdan: They didn't say they couldn't start the show in January. They said they didn't want to.

Nothing too intense yet. But if I've learned anything from Lost, it's that moments of peace and calm like this are short-lived and always followed immediately by a rain-soaked handgun showdown.

Another user apparently posts a comment similar to _bio_hazard_'s, complaining about ABC's supposed inability to run the season without a hiatus. I say "apparently," because the comment has since been deleted. (By whom? The commenter? The mods? Widmore Industries?!!?!?) In any case, corkdorkdan is on the case, swiftly reiterating the point he had only just made above:

Uhh, did you read the article? They didn't say they couldn't start the show in January.

[quoting from the NYT article]Fox solves the problem by not putting “24” on the air until January, then running the show for 24 weeks straight, without interruption or repeat.

Mr. Bader said that ABC considered that, but other factors worked against it.

“We knew this would be a risky fall for us,” he said. “Monday Night Football” moved from ABC to ESPN this year, leaving a hole in the network’s prime-time schedule. The network also moved “Grey’s Anatomy” from Sunday nights to Thursday and, uncertain what the results of that move would be, decided that it could not afford to keep another signature franchise, “Lost,” off the fall schedule, he said.

The pursuant reply from an anonymous reader:

Quit being such a cunt.

The following thread is a tasty wank-snack delightfully lacking in TL;DR. If there's one thing these Losties know how to do, it's cut to the point. From "OMG DUN BE MEEN" to "GOODBYE CRUEL INTERNETS" in 4.7 seconds:

corkdorkdan: Wow, and I believe that's enough to be reported. Too bad you weren't brave enough to actually leave a comment with a username.

lairewen: Do you have fun heckling people? I mean is that what makes you happy? Does it make you feel good to make others feel bad. Does it?

sier: It makes me smile to see him heckle people. He's justified. People aren't reading the arcitle in its entireness and just want to complain.

lairewen: I think it's rude and unecessary, it's sad that you all get "laughs" from other people. It's just really sad.

sier: He isn't being rude, silly. He didn't call them dumb or say they were wrong. Nothing. He said "No, they arent doing it for that reason" and put a quote in italics. I suggest you re-read his comments because they are factual and far from being rude.

I laugh because people aren't read the article and are basically just upset that LOST isn't on. That's all. Disagree with the program schedule - that's fine. But to say it's for nefarious reasons is silly.

I don't see any rudeness in his comments. Maybe you are being sensitive to his remarks, but they aren't rude, especially for a messageboard/livejournal on the internet.

Oh, and to say someone is being rude and *not* calling out the person calling him a "cunt" kinda shows some bias. Just an FYI.

lairewen: When he goes and corrects every single one, I would hope everyone has something better to do, Heck I know I do...so I'm just gonna be done with this forum crap, if this is how people get treated on them.

sier wants to know why lairewen isn't "calling out the young man calling someone a cunt," but corkdorkdan seems to know the reason!

Heckling is when you prod someone just to get them riled up. You stated something false and I corrected you. That's called being in a public forum. And now that you mention it, I do rather enjoy correcting people. (Italics mine.)

Is lairewen really the verbally abusive 'mouse? Will corkdorkdan report this thread and have it all scrubbed from the annals of history? Can this wank grow into something as large and faptastic as the Lost fandom deserves? Tune in next episode! Same wank time, same wank channel!