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Young Murdered Faery ([info]ymfaery) wrote in [info]fandom_wank,
@ 2006-11-20 22:07:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood: *thud*
Entry tags:cult of nice, fandom: stargate, fanfic

"Why can't fandom *strike*get along*/strike* be polite?" "Oh? What do you mean by polite?"
Fanfic writer Diana Williams wonders what happened to good manners?

Many people, some via metafandom, wander in to ask what do you mean by good manners?

Confusion, cultural comparisons, and over 140 comments result.

Ow, all that html hurt. ;_;

ETA: It appears that the discussions in this post on The Cutting Board may have been the catalyst for Diana's post.




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[info]puipui
2006-11-21 10:27 am UTC (link)
Ow, all that html hurt.

It's nice, though. Fancy. I like it.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]ymfaery, 2006-11-21 10:33 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]telesilla, 2006-11-21 11:05 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ymfaery, 2006-11-21 11:15 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mrbimble, 2006-11-21 03:51 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ilpalazzo, 2006-11-21 06:09 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]jat_sapphire, 2006-11-22 07:26 am UTC

[info]blackjackrocket
2006-11-21 10:38 am UTC (link)
The OP sure doesn't win any love from me by saying that she got her mouth washed out with soap for backtalking to adults. What makes adults, or any group, special, hmm?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]ryuutchi, 2006-11-21 11:12 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]coffeebun, 2006-11-21 12:18 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bolboreta, 2006-11-21 06:07 pm UTC
(no subject) - janegray, 2006-11-22 09:17 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ryuutchi, 2006-11-21 10:08 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]blackjackrocket, 2006-11-21 11:37 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]greenling, 2006-11-22 08:01 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]aerobot, 2006-11-22 01:28 pm UTC

[info]keri
2006-11-21 10:52 am UTC (link)
Is it awful that I automatically discounted anything Diana Williams said in that post because of her stories? I didn't even read it, but I huffed a bit and said to myself "oh, whatever, it's just her again."

I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. All I do know is that apparently, I'm the only fan of Snape/Harry fiction who doesn't like her cliché-ridden, possibly romance-novel-ripoff fanfiction. Er, from what I gather on the snape/harry communities I watch.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]ymfaery, 2006-11-21 11:20 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]keri, 2006-11-21 11:32 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]thesilentsenshi, 2006-11-21 03:54 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]marumae, 2006-11-21 06:25 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]smo, 2006-11-21 08:11 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]castellated, 2006-11-21 03:58 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]keri, 2006-11-21 07:14 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ymfaery, 2006-11-21 08:05 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]castellated, 2006-11-22 10:15 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]skarrow, 2006-11-22 12:20 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ymfaery, 2006-11-22 12:26 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]delcj, 2006-11-21 11:31 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]keri, 2006-11-21 11:38 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]b_jellybean, 2006-11-21 01:21 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]janegraddell, 2006-11-21 05:30 pm UTC

[info]dragonfangirl
2006-11-21 11:34 am UTC (link)
That seems to imply there ever was good manners.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]telesilla, 2006-11-21 03:28 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mrbimble, 2006-11-21 04:00 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]thesilentsenshi, 2006-11-21 04:26 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]frequentmouse, 2006-11-21 08:14 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2006-11-21 08:35 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]frequentmouse, 2006-11-21 09:09 pm UTC
(no subject) - janegray, 2006-11-22 09:21 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]community_care, 2006-11-21 10:27 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]quettaser, 2006-11-21 10:35 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]community_care, 2006-11-21 10:49 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]quettaser, 2006-11-21 11:00 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]community_care, 2006-11-21 11:12 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]quettaser, 2006-11-21 11:56 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]community_care, 2006-11-22 01:54 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]soleta, 2006-11-21 11:16 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]telesilla, 2006-11-21 11:58 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]soleta, 2006-11-22 04:15 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]community_care, 2006-11-22 02:03 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]soleta, 2006-11-22 04:14 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]darkrose, 2006-11-22 12:36 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]community_care, 2006-11-22 02:09 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]darkrose, 2006-11-22 02:23 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]snacky, 2006-11-22 12:21 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ymfaery, 2006-11-22 12:37 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]community_care, 2006-11-22 02:07 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]darkrose, 2006-11-22 02:24 am UTC
just mere speculation of course - [info]telesilla, 2006-11-22 02:30 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]jat_sapphire, 2006-11-22 07:35 am UTC
Genderless writing is so annoying. - [info]ymfaery, 2006-11-22 11:08 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2006-11-22 11:32 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]darkrose, 2006-11-22 12:35 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]telesilla, 2006-11-22 02:31 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dragonfangirl, 2006-11-22 12:39 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]telesilla, 2006-11-22 01:05 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mrbimble, 2006-11-22 01:09 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sepiamagpie, 2006-11-22 02:37 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]texta, 2006-11-22 06:38 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sepiamagpie, 2006-11-22 06:43 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]darkrose, 2006-11-22 08:39 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sepiamagpie, 2006-11-22 05:06 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sorchar, 2006-11-22 03:10 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]telesilla, 2006-11-22 03:27 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]karalee_klee, 2006-11-22 03:33 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]funwithrage, 2006-11-22 06:15 pm UTC

[info]rosehiptea
2006-11-21 01:23 pm UTC (link)
One the one hand, I think she was mostly trying to bring up the question, and that's legitimate even if I'm not sure I agree with "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all" when it comes to fanfic. On the other hand I'm really rolling my eyes at all this "back in my day" stuff (from the OP and at least one of the commenters). And I'm only ten years younger than she is.

(Reply to this)


catatonia
2006-11-21 02:18 pm UTC (link)
There's a lot of angry, uptight people answering that post. Maybe they should all lighten the fuck up.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]napalmnacey, 2006-11-21 03:05 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]wrongly_amused, 2006-11-21 07:26 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sidewinder, 2006-11-21 11:32 pm UTC
(no subject) - catatonia, 2006-11-22 01:32 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]napalmnacey, 2006-11-22 01:35 pm UTC

[info]mouseybrown
2006-11-21 02:35 pm UTC (link)
The man in your icon looks familiar ... He wouldn't be one of the inspectors from the classic Miss Marple series (the 'proper' BBC one with Joan Hickson as the titular detective) would he? I'm thinking of the one who respected Miss Marple's opinion rather than the one who saw her as an interfering old biddy.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]ymfaery, 2006-11-21 08:09 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mouseybrown, 2006-11-22 01:20 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ymfaery, 2006-11-23 05:02 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]baskinglizard, 2006-11-23 04:28 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ymfaery, 2006-11-23 05:03 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]baskinglizard, 2006-11-29 05:23 am UTC

[info]palabradot
2006-11-21 02:46 pm UTC (link)
Mrr. I was agreeing with her until the "If you can't say something nice about a fic, should you say anything at all?" part. Snark and sarcasm do have their place; often the trick is being good at it.

*firmly in the 'not very good at it' category*

But on the back in my day part...


and actually, the one kid I knew who never got spanked got our secret sympathy because obviously his parents didn't love him


I know some people think this but...come on.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]napalmnacey, 2006-11-21 03:09 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sgtgeorgecarter, 2006-11-21 03:31 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]palabradot, 2006-11-21 03:44 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]melisus, 2006-11-21 06:21 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sgtgeorgecarter, 2006-11-21 06:24 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]semirecluse, 2006-11-21 08:11 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sgtgeorgecarter, 2006-11-21 08:29 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]quettaser, 2006-11-21 09:17 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sgtgeorgecarter, 2006-11-21 09:55 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]quettaser, 2006-11-21 10:07 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sgtgeorgecarter, 2006-11-21 10:17 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sidewinder, 2006-11-21 11:40 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sgtgeorgecarter, 2006-11-22 12:21 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sidewinder, 2006-11-22 03:53 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sgtgeorgecarter, 2006-11-22 04:01 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sidewinder, 2006-11-22 04:08 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sgtgeorgecarter, 2006-11-22 05:25 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]quettaser, 2006-11-21 09:21 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]breecita, 2006-11-21 10:35 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]quettaser, 2006-11-21 10:42 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]breecita, 2006-11-21 10:52 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]aerobot, 2006-11-23 11:06 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]msilverstar, 2006-11-21 06:53 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]marumae, 2006-11-21 06:26 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]soleta, 2006-11-21 08:17 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]napalmnacey, 2006-11-22 02:40 am UTC

[info]charmian
2006-11-21 03:29 pm UTC (link)
Wow, it's hard to see how anyone could be more dense than the "aren't you silly" commenter. It's amazing how she is not able to see the point that even if SHE doesn't find something unacceptable, that other people might find it unacceptably rude.

That combined with the "you're just like the journalists" and the massive condescension just make for a beautiful piece of irony.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]kyuuketsukirui, 2006-11-21 03:55 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]telesilla, 2006-11-21 04:08 pm UTC
it's way too late/early for this - [info]telesilla, 2006-11-21 04:56 pm UTC

[info]thesilentsenshi
2006-11-21 04:20 pm UTC (link)
The OP was definitely TL;DR, and it's rare that I find something like that so uninteresting that I can't read it all the way through. I mean, if she had scrapped all those RL examples she may not have lost me. But honestly, what do I care about her kids or their friends and whatever? I may give the comments a looksee if I have time later, but the OP didn't sound like anything more than someone trying to sound so much better than everyone else because of how hardcore polite they are.

I mean, I'm all for showing respect to people on a public forum like ff.net reviews, or a rant comm, or any other comm. Her "plea" grated my nerves because it goes off assuming everyone in fandom is lacking manners. A lot of hot air and posturing is what it was.

Or maybe that's just how they naturally write. Either way I was bored to tears trying to force my way through the OP's post. It felt like reading a very dry magazine article or something for school.

now, I have to finish up my costume and prepare for a dress rehearsal today. shame, otherwise I would have checked more of the comments out. school always interupts my wank time. Or does my wank time interupt school...? hmm....

(Reply to this)


[info]lottelita
2006-11-21 04:33 pm UTC (link)
Ugh, pink. ?format=light, dude. ?format=light.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]bolboreta, 2006-11-21 06:20 pm UTC
Nothing wrong with pink. ;_; - [info]ymfaery, 2006-11-21 08:15 pm UTC
Re: Nothing wrong with pink. ;_; - [info]smo, 2006-11-21 08:19 pm UTC
Re: Nothing wrong with pink. ;_; - [info]ymfaery, 2006-11-21 08:30 pm UTC
Re: Nothing wrong with pink. ;_; - [info]smo, 2006-11-21 08:59 pm UTC
Re: Nothing wrong with pink. ;_; - [info]ryuutchi, 2006-11-21 11:46 pm UTC

[info]pyratejenni
2006-11-21 04:53 pm UTC (link)
Wait, she writes Snarry and she didn't know about the furor over [info]oulangi and [info]furiosity's reviews?

*headdesk*

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]white_serpent, 2006-11-21 08:15 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ymfaery, 2006-11-21 08:20 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bastet, 2006-11-21 11:31 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]castellated, 2006-11-22 10:18 am UTC

[info]pokecheck
2006-11-21 04:57 pm UTC (link)
Whatever happened to fair dealing?
And pure ethics
And nice manners?
Why is it everyone now os a pain in the ass?
Whatever happened to class?

So who's Mama and who's Velma?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]damnedfallacy, 2006-11-21 05:40 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]soy_latte, 2006-11-21 10:42 pm UTC
The 'older is always more polite/better' bit....
[info]dhaunea
2006-11-21 05:31 pm UTC (link)
RE: The age equating more polite?

I currently live with my 93-year-old grandmother. She's from a rich family, went to charm school, belonged to all the right ladies groups, etc etc.... A wonderful woman who believes in certain standards of behavior and politeness.

I read her a few choice excerpts and even she was saying, "Bitch, please."

((Okay, so it was phrased more along the lines of, "Someone's certainly full of themselves, aren't they?" But that's the 'Bitch, please' of her generation.))

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: The 'older is always more polite/better' bit.... - [info]smo, 2006-11-21 08:21 pm UTC
Re: The 'older is always more polite/better' bit.... - [info]dhaunea, 2006-11-21 08:26 pm UTC
Re: The 'older is always more polite/better' bit.... - [info]smo, 2006-11-21 08:59 pm UTC
Re: The 'older is always more polite/better' bit.... - [info]ecchaniz0r, 2006-11-21 11:27 pm UTC
Re: The 'older is always more polite/better' bit.... - [info]lollercoaster, 2006-11-21 09:23 pm UTC
Re: The 'older is always more polite/better' bit.... - [info]dhaunea, 2006-11-21 11:18 pm UTC
Re: The 'older is always more polite/better' bit.... - [info]ymfaery, 2006-11-21 09:35 pm UTC
Re: The 'older is always more polite/better' bit.... - [info]dhaunea, 2006-11-21 11:18 pm UTC
Re: The 'older is always more polite/better' bit.... - [info]belafarinrod, 2006-11-22 01:18 am UTC
Re: The 'older is always more polite/better' bit.... - [info]fernwithy, 2006-11-22 05:05 am UTC
Re: The 'older is always more polite/better' bit.... - [info]vuirneen, 2006-11-23 12:55 am UTC

[info]llama_treats
2006-11-21 05:41 pm UTC (link)
I'd take being truthful over being kind any day. < --- OMG HEATHEN!

(Reply to this)


[info]waltraute
2006-11-21 05:41 pm UTC (link)
[info]aamah is a very special little snowflake.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]seraphtrevs, 2006-11-21 10:57 pm UTC

[info]snacky
2006-11-21 05:53 pm UTC (link)
Oh, BTW, I mentioned that you hadn't heard the phrase "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all" to my daughter (13) to see if I was just way behind the times and she says that she's heard that from other people than me. Including teachers. So no, it's not something fandom made up.

I just can't believe she's from that older, kinder, gentler generation and she's never seen Bambi! It's so out of character!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]melisus, 2006-11-21 06:24 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]cinnamonical, 2006-11-22 03:12 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]melisus, 2006-11-22 03:43 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]cinnamonical, 2006-11-22 03:47 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]littlebitca, 2006-11-22 11:44 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dana, 2006-11-26 09:59 am UTC

[info]eljuno
2006-11-21 07:06 pm UTC (link)
and actually, the one kid I knew who never got spanked got our secret sympathy because obviously his parents didn't love him

I only consider spanking a sign of love when it's administered by someone in leather or a sassy French maid's uniform.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]quettaser, 2006-11-21 07:21 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]eljuno, 2006-11-21 07:29 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ecchaniz0r, 2006-11-21 11:29 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]isa, 2006-11-22 02:20 am UTC

[info]semirecluse
2006-11-21 08:08 pm UTC (link)
Not liking the false dichotomy between good manners and increased tolerance. :/

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]quettaser, 2006-11-21 09:30 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]dragonfangirl, 2006-11-22 12:43 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]quettaser, 2006-11-22 12:49 am UTC

[info]white_serpent
2006-11-21 08:08 pm UTC (link)
I hope to one day achieve mastery of the fine art of the put down. I'm studying with the best: Miss Manners.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]smo, 2006-11-21 08:22 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]white_serpent, 2006-11-21 11:15 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]smo, 2006-11-21 11:18 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]baskinglizard, 2006-11-23 04:47 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]zyna_kat, 2006-11-23 01:29 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]semirecluse, 2006-11-27 07:57 pm UTC

[info]narcissam
2006-11-21 09:57 pm UTC (link)
She got her mouth washed out with soap for backtalking? I thought you were supposed to get your mouth washed out with soap for saying bad words, which at that age pretty much meant bathroom humour in an inappropriate arena. Let the punishment fit the crime.

Though I really can't recall my mother carrying out the threat. We were more likely to try eating the soap on our own.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]lizbee, 2006-11-23 01:20 pm UTC

[info]gmth
2006-11-21 10:26 pm UTC (link)
Whoa, deja vu.

I'm curious: Is anyone, anywhere, on either side of this debate, EVER going to say anything new on this topic? It's mind-boggling to me how often this exact same discussion takes place.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]microclimate, 2006-11-21 10:29 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]gmth, 2006-11-21 10:31 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ymfaery, 2006-11-21 10:41 pm UTC
esus Christ, ain't there no decency left?
[info]soy_latte
2006-11-21 10:40 pm UTC (link)
Whatever happened to fair dealing
And pure ethics
And nice manners?
Why is it everyone now is a pain in the ass?
Whatever happened to class?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: esus Christ, ain't there no decency left? - [info]dragonfangirl, 2006-11-22 12:44 am UTC

[info]seraphtrevs
2006-11-21 11:11 pm UTC (link)
Why is it that the statement "I was polite child!" is invariably followed with "because I'd get beaten if I didn't!" in so many of these discussions? I mean, is politeness more polite if the threat of violence is worked in there somehow?

Also: I am amused to learn that my parents apparently used the Japanese method of discipline.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]seraphtrevs, 2006-11-21 11:11 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ecchaniz0r, 2006-11-21 11:31 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]seiberwing, 2006-11-22 07:41 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]seraphtrevs, 2006-11-22 08:21 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]seiberwing, 2006-11-22 05:11 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]seraphtrevs, 2006-11-22 06:09 pm UTC

[info]bastet
2006-11-21 11:19 pm UTC (link)
Oh, but you're missing the whole crazy BDSM backstory to this! Which was mostly dull and ponderous, but as usual The Cutting Board was a pretty good time.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]ymfaery, 2006-11-21 11:48 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bastet, 2006-11-22 12:00 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ymfaery, 2006-11-22 12:19 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]bastet, 2006-11-22 12:27 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]darkrose, 2006-11-21 11:49 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bastet, 2006-11-22 12:06 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ladysorka, 2006-11-22 12:08 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]bastet, 2006-11-22 12:26 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]pyratejenni, 2006-11-22 02:15 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]frequentmouse, 2006-11-22 12:45 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dragonfangirl, 2006-11-22 12:45 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]bastet, 2006-11-22 01:11 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]white_serpent, 2006-11-22 01:28 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]msilverstar, 2006-11-22 04:49 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]anatsuno, 2006-11-24 09:11 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]telesilla, 2006-11-22 01:57 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]melyanna, 2006-11-22 06:46 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]bastet, 2006-11-22 07:17 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]melyanna, 2006-11-22 07:46 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]soleta, 2006-11-22 06:10 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]soleta, 2006-11-22 06:11 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]belafarinrod, 2006-11-22 01:01 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]bastet, 2006-11-22 01:12 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]telesilla, 2006-11-22 01:14 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]belafarinrod, 2006-11-22 01:15 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]telesilla, 2006-11-22 01:44 am UTC


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