Is there wank on Mars?
Yep there is. As usual. Thirty Seconds To Mars official board.

Slight wank - Shadow wants the band to play more songs from their first album, at first people agree, then what follows is a war between old schoolers and new fans. On page three sadness begins because Jared (as in Leto, as in lead singer, as in Jordan Catalano, as in Fight CLub and Alexander) said they won't play old songs because people don't understand them anymore. Inflammatory words for a group of old fans who already hate the NEW fans!

Up on page five we get from Old-Schooler Tomazs Kiss the ST goodbye my fellow OLD members....This band has turned out to be one of the worst fucking bands of all time. Just look at 90% of the pathetic losers this band has brought to the message board...let alone to the concerts. There's some name calling, a lot of people are douches (as usual,) and the fun starts on page eight after someone calls Tomazs out with Tact? haha coming from a person who runs around calling people douches and proclaiming a superiority for liking one CD over another..... Then there's some "YOU DON'T KNOW ME SO DON'T THINK YOU DO!" and "YR A FAG!" and "YOU FUCKING TWAT." It goes into bashing fans who like the popular song "The Kill" and then those fans bashing fans who bash fans who like The Kill and then some other people bashing the defenders of the fans who like The Kill. And a little bit of "When Jared told me he was sick of playing the old songs it was like he punched me in the face!" Some "Jared used to care about old school fans but now he lets them get suffocated by fangirls because he likes getting groped!" On page fourteen a little "How about they play these certain songs!" and "How about you suck my ass" and "Pull down your pants and let's get to it." Thirty fucking five pages later and the exact. Same. Argument. Is still going on. This particular wank isn't really exciting, but it's funny when you realize it's over who likes what song better. The gist of the question becomes did the band sell out? How many people care if they did? Are they using sex to sell their music instead of using music?

JulesKD (some of you know her, she has been on here before) brings the wank with an entire thread that asks people the question of, does the band sell sex? She posts a link to a video of Jared Leto rubbing his dick on stage and asks if people think he's using sex to sell his band. Because that's not obvious. Some people think yes, he is drawing in screaming 14 year old fangirls and the band has left their true original fanbase behind. (I agree. I'm oldschool what can I say. I don't like this band as much as I used to but this isn't about me..... I just lurk.) Some people say that it's not so, that rock and sex go hand in hand. Others argue that the band didn't used to be like this so that can't really be true. It gets into, "when Jared jumps into the crowd, should people grab his crotch or not?" Everyone says they shouldn't, but some people figure that he knows he's going to get groped and he does it anyway, so he can handle it. On page two,, Ani basically says that he shouldn't get sexually molested, but because of his behavior he's asking for it. ANd eventually, "He must not mind it too much." A few rape survivors come out of the woodwork, and the general thoughts turn to the fact that much like unto Jared Leto, women also have the right not to be touched if they don't want to. On page three, resident troll Jer pipes up with "Feminism LOL." JulesKD takes the bait and so does AxeGoddess who apparently takes exception to his comment. JulesKD and AxeGoddess do a little female bonding. (This will turn weird later in another thread.) In the middle of page six, popular board hottie and Suicide Girl "Quila" (Vanessa) pipes up with old school cred - You new fans need to stop pretending you understand what it was like! Because you don't, all you have is the stories us old schoolers tell you! This is followed by a bunch of sad puppydog posters going "YOU CAN'T MEAN ME!!!" After TEN FUCKING PAGES of tl;dr-ness, the general thought seems to be that no, the lead singer shouldn't get sexually molested but it is okay to say he's cute (even though the guys on the bulletin board HATE comments like that and will start a witch hunt in a later thread.) And yes, the band sold out. Weirdly enough the thread ends on how pretty Jonathan Rhys Meyers was in Velvet Goldmine.

Also from this board I bring you feminism wank of gold. You want circular arguments and dictionary definitions? This thread delivers. It all starts innocently enough with a post about some girls who made a video using a cardboard cutout of Jared Leto, and let the witchhunt of fangirls begin. There's a lot of ewwing and oh gross-ing and "they should be killed" comments. A little bit of "calm the fuck down they're just kids." The real fun comes about halfway down page seven when Dr. Frostbite comes out with
This shit is perfect example of how fucking stupid a lot of you women are. You talk about her being a stupid fangirl? Come on, this girl just got fucking death threats over something this fucking small. Do you women inhale the fucking ink in the cd pamphlets until your brain fucking collapses on itself and the only retaining thought in your head happens to be 'The Kill'? ...
You women bullshit about "fangirls", yet it's perfectly acceptable to go out of your way to find the pierrot masks and get to the front of the line, wear that shit, and throw several 30stm-related tattoos on your body? GTFO. Holy shit, he said "women." WHo takes the bait? Hi again JulesKD. Yup, she might not have been to Iraq or seen a mass grave, but she is a feminist and don't anyone forget that. (And I'm not saying feminist like it's a bad thing, but she just won't quit.)

And on page eight she calls him out with a bitchy response -
Because when someone's not too deep of a thinker, they look for answers in generalizations concerning entire genders, races, etc. They can't handle much more than that.. Dr. Frostbite's feeligns get hurt by this, and off they go. Dr. Frostbite makes up some fake statistics about 30 Seconds to Mars and females. He says only a woman would have made a death threat. JulesKD points out that men on the board make death threats to women all the time for being "fangirls." It doesn't get really rolling until page nine, close to the bottom of the page when AxeGoddess says that indeed, women are bitches, and They will smile in your face as they thrust the knife in your back. This is the reason my circle of female friends is very small and I have a lot more guy friends. The whole argument of generalizing women into spiteful, manipulative, mean bitches...I have to say a majority of them are. *shrugs* OFF THEY GO, the former board-sisters who had just bonded on the other thread! JuelsKD: You're sad! All bigrotry and hate are born of the same thing! AxeGoddess: Stop calling me a racist! JulesKD: I didn't, but hatred of all women is not much different from hatred of all Muslims! And men can be bad people, too, it's not just women! AxeGoddess: I know men can be mean! I was raped by one! JulesKD: then why did you say WOMEN?! AxeGoddess: Because you already said that men could be mean so I didn't need to! JulesKD: I did not! At least not until YOU said that WOMEN were bad. That's misoginist! AxeGoddess: I can't be misogynist because I'm a woman! --Breaks out dictionary--See it says so right here! Only men are misogynist! JulesKD: Well then there must be some other word for women who hate women! ANd, about three quarters of the way down, Mary'sBuddha comes out with Feminists hate men. Does JulesKD take the bait? What do you think? The funny thing is that later in the thread, Dr. Frostbite and JulesKD end up bonding over martial arts while she and AxeGoddess (see the wank above,) are still going at it.

From there we turn to the less wanky but still fun Witch-hunt thread. A list of pathetic fangirls! Call them out! They get into MySpace, fat-wank, and the evils of RPS. This one is small and not as wanky as the feminism one, but it's still cute. In response to that, Who here isn't a fangirl/boy? List them too! Nothing wanky on that one so far, but resident troll Jer suggests that popular poster HipMomster might be a fangirl because she posted a picture of Jared Leto, so this thread does have some promise.

Thanks for rubbing your dick on stage, Jared Leto! Yes, there is wank on Mars!