Happy Wankiversary, FFVII!
To celebrate the tenth anniversary of Final Fantasy VII's release I bring you...

Cid and Vincent wank!

fanficrants brings the goods again with what looks like a totally innocent posting by konitsu about the 'yaoi height convention' -- namely, that the seme is ALWAYS TALLER ZOMG. The problem with this where Cid and Vincent are concerned is that Cid tends to be written as seme while being four inches shorter than Mr. Angsty Red Man. Pretty simple request, just don't write Cid pinning Vincent to the wall and looming OVER him when in reality he'd be looking up Vincent's nose.


And then emperorsteele butts in.

Yeah, but you're also talking about a character who locked himself away in an emo fit over a WOMAN, and another character who MARRIED a woman (and names his prized possession after her), all in the context of a homesexual relationship.

If fans can ignore the fact that these two are arguably the straightest guys in the game, they can ignore height differences =P

Not saying there's anything wrong with wanting to read or write this sorta thing, but the characters are OOC enough to be new characters anyway, so changing other things shouldn't be surprising.

Needless to say, this goes over like the proverbial lead balloon from the first response.

wllw:

Except that, you know, bisexuality exists.

Shocking, I know.

And even without that it's possible for men to find out they're gay after they've married a woman. And the general consesus goes that it's perfectly possible to write canonly straight characters in a homosexual relationship and keep them IC if you're good enough. Which, of course, is not what the fanbrats are doing, but let's not make needless generalizations.

Whereas height difference is a fixed fact, and you can't exactly jusify changes with a "growth spurt", given that Cid is 32.

That prompts this gem of a tl;dr response:

emperorsteele:

Except, you know, NOT IN EVERYONE.

Shocking, I know.

And a one in a million possibility need not apply to EVERY video game, book, and movie character ever created, let alone Cid. This is a guy, who, if he were real, would probably live in middle America, and he'd drink beer and invite friends over to watch football on sundays. He wouldn't be prettying himself up for a stroll around San Fransisco for a latte.

Look, i know i'm making generalizations, but generalizations exist for a reason. Certain people TEND to act a certain way. They have certain things in common. Sometimes they have some similair life expereiences, and will act in certain, predictable ways given certain stimuli. And yes, there's exceptions, but to use that as an excuse to do stuff like this over and over is really a bit asinine.

Now, before you make excuses and rely on the same old logic, take a GOOD, hard look at Cid and how he acts and the company he keeps. Then look at people who are like him in real life. Same age, similair career choice, same mannerism... And then ask those men how many of them would want it up the ass from one of their male friends. Hope you don't mind a black eye =(

Then agian, Cid DOES like his tea...

Now, for Vincent. He's been shown to love a woman. Usually, in a book, movie, show, what have you... that tends to be the say-all, end-all of a characters sexuality. Yeah, he's easier to make excuses for for being in the closet, but the problem with Vincent is, who say's he'd WANT to experiment? He's so cold and detatched and "dead", that he doesn't seem to want much of anything. Now, this is more of a personal view, but, I don't see Vincent wanting ANYBODY. Not Cid, Not Tifa, not Yuffie, not a sue or a stu... nobody. It's hard to defend, just a feeling about a character, but in my case, i'm not making anything up about him. He just stands around and says creepy stuff. I didn't think that was something bays or bi did. All the gay people i know are very outgoing, and the bis i know, well, they don't have anything in common with Vincent, either.

Hell, one of them hated his character and doesn't bother getting him when she plays ff7.

SO I don't think you can justify changes with a core part of a character's personality without admiting they're at least a little OOC.

Look, here's a challenge for you: Convince me that they're gay, and for eachother. Scan every line of in-game dialouge and explain that's how most gays and bis act. Because I don't see it.

Boom.

That's right, folks, you heard it here first! Bisexuals apparently DO exist but they all act the same way! If you don't act that one way (or you're gay and don't conform to the stereotype)...sorry, you don't exist again, go stand with the English majors. And everyone who's threatening to write pr0n after this had better follow through!


ETA: Edited to put in a link to the original post 'cause I suck.

ETA: Advent Children: Look, an ffrantsrants post. Thank you, soupspooks!