Entry tags:

Virtual Season; Real Wank
Ah Stargate, you're always good for a wank.

Thanks to the wank report mousie for getting me started on this one.

So, some wannabe BNFs (heimedall, oparu, and angelsdee) decided to do a Shep/Weir themed virtual season 4 because they're a wee bit cranky about the direction of the show. A little ~~birdie~~ mousie informs me that invites to join this effort went out to a very select group of het writers who are considered amongst the best in that end of fandom. This invite was sent before the third season finale aired wherever those things air early (Canada?). Every single BNF they invited declined -- especially the ones who weren't into Shep/Weir. Some were also probably not very happy as the invite contained spoilers and the show is only half-way through the season in the States, but it's just a little personal email, right?

So this intrepid, and somewhat stupid, group of virtual season running wannabes decided to look elsewhere for writers. Elsewhere would be defined as everywhere het-friendly in this case.

This announcement (Beware season 3-4 spoilers) was posted to just about every corner of known Stargate Atlantis fandom. You may have noticed I stuck a spoiler warning on that link. Do you think they had the good sense to do that? Or to put the spoilers behind a cut? Or to read any of those communities posting guidelines? Ten points if you answered "No" to all of the above. For the bonus round, do you think all those mods took the news well?

So, taking a closer look at that announcement (Spoilers season 3-4), we see much lies beneath the surface of this wee little iceberg of a wank. This group that posted to over 40 communities without reading/following the community guidelines has a very long list of requirements to join this thing that will probably never happen. Lets pull out a few for those who don't want to be spoiled:

Note: proof of your abilities will be required; we would like to keep a high quality series going.
What passes as acceptable grammar in the US gets an F from the teachers in the UK.
We are still discussing Betas and whether or not we'll allow you to bring yours with you

You might also want to take a poke around their virtual season account. I can't imagine why comments have been turned off. Before they were (caps very welcome if anybody grabbed them), there was a request from a mod of one of the communities to put the spoilers behind a cut. The reply? They couldn't find the edit button because comments were turned off. Geniuses at work.

Just in case we think this is an isolated incident where they got carried away and not the modus operandi of the group, we go to the FAQ:

How can I get the Virtual Season episodes?
The Virtual Season will be posted to the website for everyone to see, it will also be advertised in other locations such as well known websites and LiveJournal communities.

Not to worry, chances are slim this will happen again. The ringleader of the operation has posted the inevitable Farewell, cruel fandom! response. She's sick (five points), pregnant (another 5), stressed out (eh, 3), and taking her fanfic and going home (5). Well, unless we send her lots of emails and beg her to stay (-20 for not even being able to hold out to the end of her post). That brings her "apology" to a score of -2. She's going to need to try harder next time. Perhaps she could read the community guidelines. ;)

ETA: Bahleeeted. Stay tuned. Caps are coming soon to a fandom wank post near you.

ETA II:

melyanna, who is made of awesome, provides caps of the Intro, FAQ and Apology. Why wait for the apology to be deleted?

ETA III:

ladycat found their forum. Most of it's locked, but you can still visit the FAQ, Guidelines, Advertising -- where they solicit communities to spam, Character Profiles, a Canon Guide, and Writers Aids. Anybody know where they got the content for this stuff? It would be funny if they "borrowed" it.

ETA IV: Spoilers have invaded the comments. They seem mostly casting related, but click with care.

ETA V: More big honking spoilers in the comments. Click at own risk. Also,

prima found a post where

oparu would like us to think she got booted from the virtual season before the sploodge tide hit. Her chief reasons involve time zones, disagreements with the other mods/organizers, being a newbie, and ~~nobody expecting the Spanish inquisition~~ moral indignation.

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	damnedfallacy 2007-02-23 10:57 pm UTC (link)
	Yet another satisfied graduate of the Heidi School of Pseudo-Apology! (Reply to this)(Thread)