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cookies taste better with funneh ([info]cookie_love) wrote in [info]fandom_wank,
@ 2007-03-12 17:09:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:racism, religion, sparta, taking it too seriously

With people wanking this hard over a movie....
....It really should be porn (and depending on who you are...close enough).


300 opens...and THEY'RE OFF!

People pouring in reviews decrying the big lies of history and terrorists made at the hands of "holy wood".

There is tl;dr and hilarious typos all around, and I'm sure if you keep refreshing your browser, the wank will be continuous and free flowing, so be sure to bring your rain boots and umbrella.

ETA: If that spell-check starved review you're looking at seems familiar...you've probably already seen it. Some people are either reposting comments that other reviewers have written, or under other yahoo user names.

ETA II: Too good to pass on: When recruiting for Christ in a movie thread goes wrong. Still has nothing on the guy that tried to convert lions at a zoo, but it's worth a look.

ETA III: It was only matter of time before the entire country of Iran joined in this wank-fest.




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[info]eilan
2007-03-12 11:27 pm UTC (link)
That movie generates such a wank-fest. There's even wank on Flickr: http://flickr.com/photos/hamed/417936161/

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]shadowed_blade, 2007-03-13 12:01 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]eilan, 2007-03-13 12:10 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]cookie_love, 2007-03-13 01:15 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]darth_wanker, 2007-03-13 01:31 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]cookie_love, 2007-03-13 01:32 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]pyrrah, 2007-03-13 01:52 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]tehrin, 2007-03-13 02:59 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]erototoxin, 2007-03-13 04:48 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]maureenlycaon, 2007-03-13 04:24 pm UTC

[info]maureenlycaon
2007-03-12 11:46 pm UTC (link)
Oh, they're wanking nearly as hard on the RottenTomatoes forums.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]cookie_love, 2007-03-13 01:19 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]miharu, 2007-03-13 01:50 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]cookie_love, 2007-03-13 02:08 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]queencallipygos, 2007-03-13 06:56 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2007-03-13 08:51 pm UTC

[info]cork118
2007-03-12 11:54 pm UTC (link)
Thisa film is without a doubt the best i've ever seen. Not just because its this big, huge, exciting movie, but because everything about it is perfect. Mind you the acting and the story arent the greatest, but they are there, and like it or not, they do help the movie.

Those two sentences are so wildly contradictory that I can't begin to make sense of them.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]antigone, 2007-03-13 12:01 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]white_serpent, 2007-03-13 12:02 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]selene_avis, 2007-03-13 11:16 pm UTC
Logical fallacy tag! - [info]demonbean, 2007-03-13 12:02 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2007-03-13 12:03 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]cork118, 2007-03-13 12:06 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2007-03-13 12:23 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]baskinglizard, 2007-03-13 12:29 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lcsbanana, 2007-03-13 04:42 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]suzycat, 2007-03-14 08:06 am UTC

[info]saleha
2007-03-12 11:57 pm UTC (link)
Dear fucking God, all this Persian wanking is completely over the top...

Plz to notice: This movie is based on a COMIC BOOK. Comic books are not known for their historical accuracy. You didn't see the Germans explode in a wank cloud when Hellboy came out, either. So spare us with your inane whining.

I still can't get over the fact that there are people who are frantically trying to tie the movie to current political events... *facepalm* It's a bloody action flick. About half-nekkid men wading through assloads of blood and guts. And Gerard Butler's ass is very hot. That is all.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]croik, 2007-03-13 12:16 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sheep_n_wolf, 2007-03-13 12:45 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]luthe, 2007-03-13 10:09 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]pyrrah, 2007-03-13 01:53 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kami, 2007-03-13 12:36 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]cookie_love, 2007-03-13 01:03 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]katarin, 2007-03-13 02:14 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]makeshyft, 2007-03-13 06:45 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sepiamagpie, 2007-03-13 05:44 pm UTC

[info]hickorydickory
2007-03-12 11:57 pm UTC (link)
WHORESWHORESWHORESWHORESWHORES.

That is all.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]hangingfire, 2007-03-13 12:01 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]julesnoctambule, 2007-03-13 04:17 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]hangingfire, 2007-03-13 05:35 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]julesnoctambule, 2007-03-13 05:46 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2007-03-13 12:53 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ghostmaster, 2007-03-13 01:17 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kadath, 2007-03-13 01:18 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2007-03-13 02:12 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]maureenlycaon, 2007-03-13 04:05 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]visp, 2007-03-13 03:27 pm UTC

[info]puipui
2007-03-13 12:01 am UTC (link)
I'm sorry, but mind keeps replacing all the text in these posts about 300 with Peter Graves saying, "Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?"

I think it might be some sort of subconscious attempt at self-preservation, actually.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]major_dallas, 2007-03-13 12:21 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]soupspooks, 2007-03-13 12:25 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]major_dallas, 2007-03-13 12:29 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]soupspooks, 2007-03-13 01:14 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]saralina25, 2007-03-13 01:23 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rimrunner, 2007-03-13 06:21 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]pfeffermuse, 2007-03-13 03:24 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2007-03-13 04:16 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]apoplexia, 2007-03-13 12:44 pm UTC

[info]demonbean
2007-03-13 12:01 am UTC (link)
this movie is the most foolish movie about the persians.
Wasn't it about, um ... the Spartans?

the persian empire is a very old empire and it was a powerfull empire.
Dude ... we know.

the fighting aspects of this movie are historically accurate although the spartans were supposed to have more armor than what the movie actually portrayed. story line was baed on history hence unoriginal.
But with much armor, where is the sex? Also, that last sentence may be one of the more useless things I've ever heard.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]innsmouth_eyes, 2007-03-13 12:02 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]demonbean, 2007-03-13 12:03 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]cork118, 2007-03-13 12:12 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]cork118, 2007-03-13 12:17 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ghostmaster, 2007-03-13 01:21 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]singe, 2007-03-13 03:45 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]notjo, 2007-03-13 01:27 am UTC

[info]innsmouth_eyes
2007-03-13 12:01 am UTC (link)
My friends at work were praying at the feet of this movie today, makes me really want to see it. I meant to on friday, but eh. I have read the Slate review, though, so I can see why it's such a wank-friendly film.

(Reply to this)


[info]kami
2007-03-13 12:25 am UTC (link)
Strange... what is there to fight about? All I remember is abbs, thighs and pecs. Certainly nothing to fight about there.

(Reply to this)

from the second link...
[info]baskinglizard
2007-03-13 12:25 am UTC (link)
"darus
your son xerox made like terorist with hands of holy wood.
they can not seen you at top of kings.
they say that you are a big killer and your son too.
what should I do for you?"

WHAT. O_O

I'm LOL'ing at 'your son xerox', though. *dies*

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: from the second link... - [info]exdee, 2007-03-13 12:45 am UTC
Re: from the second link... - [info]zyna_kat, 2007-03-13 01:40 am UTC
Re: from the second link... - [info]hellespont, 2007-03-13 02:56 am UTC
Re: from the second link... - [info]deerlike, 2007-03-14 05:11 pm UTC
Re: from the second link... - [info]cork118, 2007-03-13 01:50 am UTC
Re: from the second link... - [info]perletwo, 2007-03-13 02:19 am UTC
Re: from the second link... - [info]tehrin, 2007-03-13 02:53 am UTC
Re: from the second link... - [info]hellespont, 2007-03-13 02:56 am UTC
Re: from the second link... - [info]sneer, 2007-03-13 03:38 am UTC
Re: from the second link... - [info]ichigatsu, 2007-03-13 04:33 am UTC
Re: from the second link... - [info]jerel, 2007-03-13 05:25 pm UTC

[info]shinga
2007-03-13 12:26 am UTC (link)
Dude... that movie kicked ass.

A LOT of ass.

I will praise its name.

However, it does NOT kick enough ass for me to wank over it.

Seriously, what is it with people? Like it or hate it, it's a movie.

...

Oh who am I kidding. ;) Wank on! *enjoys* *L*

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]makeshyft, 2007-03-13 06:54 am UTC
I see I am in the minority - [info]andra_dodger, 2007-03-13 03:48 pm UTC

[info]isntitironic
2007-03-13 12:30 am UTC (link)
This was a movie about three hundred guys with waxed chests in leather speedos getting really dirty and sweaty. There were also writhing girls wearing sheer curtains and completely random lesbians wearing nothing but jewelry. All of this was filmed in loving slow motion.

Clearly, the people who are bitching have their definitions of 'wank' mixed up.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]zyna_kat, 2007-03-13 01:36 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]cookie_love, 2007-03-13 02:17 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]jerel, 2007-03-13 05:26 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]plazmah, 2007-03-13 05:50 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sepiamagpie, 2007-03-13 05:51 pm UTC

[info]exdee
2007-03-13 12:35 am UTC (link)
Mmm. 300. Mmm.
We were doing what now?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]kami, 2007-03-13 12:39 am UTC

[info]rimrunner
2007-03-13 01:03 am UTC (link)
Of course there's wank. With all of that heaving manflesh and those thrusting spears, how could there not?

I'll be in my bunk...

(Reply to this)


[info]elektra3
2007-03-13 01:08 am UTC (link)
holy wood

Is anyone else having "Moving Pictures" flashbacks?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]ghostmaster, 2007-03-13 01:24 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]wonapalei, 2007-03-13 01:32 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]makeshyft, 2007-03-13 06:55 am UTC

[info]anonyrat
2007-03-13 01:10 am UTC (link)
Complaining that 300 doesn't accurately represent the battle of Thermopylae is like complaining that Captain America punching Hitler in the face doesn't accurately represent World War 2.

If the whining and the bonus scholar-peen waving and the Persian-bashing and the Greek-idolization doesn't stop, I'm seriously going to come down to the internet personally and smack everyone involved with a rolled-up papryus.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]cidercupcakes, 2007-03-13 04:59 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sparkysrevenge, 2007-03-13 05:17 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]feloniousfeline, 2007-03-13 05:26 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]luthe, 2007-03-13 10:13 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]panthea, 2007-03-13 09:03 pm UTC

[info]cookie_love
2007-03-13 01:11 am UTC (link)
And the shot of the naked king in his bedroom was completely unnecessary.


LIE!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]ghostmaster, 2007-03-13 01:27 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nekoneko, 2007-03-13 01:38 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kami, 2007-03-13 01:50 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nekoneko, 2007-03-13 02:46 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kami, 2007-03-13 01:48 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]melisus, 2007-03-13 01:50 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]honorh, 2007-03-13 02:04 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]tehrin, 2007-03-13 02:55 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sparkysrevenge, 2007-03-13 05:20 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]blackflag, 2007-03-13 07:30 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]toxictattoo, 2007-03-13 03:54 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]maureenlycaon, 2007-03-13 04:30 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]toxictattoo, 2007-03-13 04:46 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]cookie_love, 2007-03-13 07:36 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]suzycat, 2007-03-14 08:09 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]vampychick, 2007-03-16 03:04 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]suzycat, 2007-03-16 03:10 am UTC

[info]kittenmommy
2007-03-13 01:38 am UTC (link)

Um... I've never even heard of this movie. I must be living under a rock.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]the_crawford, 2007-03-13 04:05 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]cidercupcakes, 2007-03-13 04:59 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ironymaiden, 2007-03-13 08:15 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lycoris, 2007-03-13 06:10 pm UTC

[info]melisus
2007-03-13 01:48 am UTC (link)
Why can't they all just appreciate how hot Gerard Butler and David Wenham were?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]isntitironic, 2007-03-13 01:53 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]melisus, 2007-03-13 01:56 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]exdee, 2007-03-13 03:10 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]selene_avis, 2007-03-13 11:36 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]exdee, 2007-03-14 10:25 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]selene_avis, 2007-03-14 10:56 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]exdee, 2007-03-15 06:23 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]selene_avis, 2007-03-16 08:12 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]made_by_kali, 2007-03-13 02:53 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]honorh, 2007-03-13 03:48 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]singe, 2007-03-13 04:13 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]jerel, 2007-03-13 05:28 pm UTC

[info]serai
2007-03-13 01:51 am UTC (link)
Hollywood made a film that's historically inaccurate??!!

'SWOUNDS!! I'm so shocked my lungs are falling out!

Bring me my fan! My smelling salts! My slave to feed me grapes!

/sarcasm

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]andra_dodger, 2007-03-13 03:52 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]suzycat, 2007-03-14 08:10 am UTC

[info]honorh
2007-03-13 01:57 am UTC (link)
All this does is serve to remind me of the woman behind me in the theater whom I think was doing some actual physical wanking every time Gerard Butler was onscreen. I do not exaggerate. She was *moaning*. Granted, he's a fine, fine piece of man-flesh, but some things should not be done in a crowded theater!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]silrana, 2007-03-13 02:07 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]exdee, 2007-03-13 03:14 am UTC

[info]katarin
2007-03-13 02:18 am UTC (link)
I had never heard of the 300 graphic novel before this movie came out, but I appreciate it so much words fail me. Frank Miller, h8ter of teh gay, wimins and not white people thought that the best way to go about making a real 'manly' book was to write about Greek men running around in leather manties while totally buff?

Good one Frank!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]gunshou, 2007-03-13 03:36 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]brown_betty, 2007-03-13 05:01 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gunshou, 2007-03-13 11:11 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]toxictattoo, 2007-03-13 04:10 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]toxictattoo, 2007-03-13 04:13 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]maureenlycaon, 2007-03-13 04:50 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]female_fanboy, 2007-03-13 06:10 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]makeshyft, 2007-03-13 06:57 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]bitca, 2007-03-13 05:06 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]anonyrat, 2007-03-14 05:08 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]moonlitsiren, 2007-03-14 07:01 am UTC

[info]gunshou
2007-03-13 03:35 am UTC (link)
My high school senior classes on Friday: "Can we take a field trip to see 300?"
Me: "I'd love to. I'd love to not get fired more."
Seniors: "Hemingway wrote in English. English uses the Latin alphabet. Latin is derived from Greek. Greek soldiers = 300. Justification!"
Me: "That's good thinking! See you Monday."

My seniors today: "DID YOU SEE IT?!"
Me: "OMGYESSOHOT."
Seniors: "Historically inaccurate, though."
Me: "Who cares? The Phantom and Faramir naked and buff for the win!"
Seniors: "..."
Me: "What?" *innocent look*
Random girl: "Wait, that was the Phantom? Holy shit!"
Me: "I know, hard to tell from the very nice ass shot. And the flexing pecs. And the glistening thighs. And..."
Seniors: "SO, BACK TO HEMINGWAY..."

All this wank totally misses the point: naked people with weapons + much artistic violence = awesome movie.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]waltraute, 2007-03-13 03:51 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mmanurere, 2007-03-13 10:40 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gunshou, 2007-03-13 11:24 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]seiberwing, 2007-03-13 02:32 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]gunshou, 2007-03-13 11:23 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]icedark_elf, 2007-03-13 11:41 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kelschuu, 2007-03-13 04:17 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]jerel, 2007-03-13 05:30 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]queencallipygos, 2007-03-13 07:04 pm UTC

[info]angelhunter
2007-03-13 03:37 am UTC (link)
*blech*

worst.movie.ever.

(Reply to this)


[info]ichigatsu
2007-03-13 03:59 am UTC (link)
Such was the power of this film that afterwards we had to go to a Greek restaurant and feast on charred flesh.

I need a leather manties icon.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]makeshyft, 2007-03-13 06:59 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]plazmah, 2007-03-13 05:55 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]gunshou, 2007-03-13 10:02 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]arekuru, 2007-03-15 02:51 am UTC


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