Assuming DOOM (TM) has not descended on the forums in the wake of a god awful prank by the mods, hopefully this gets posted. *crosses fingers*

Anyway,  ladies and gentlemen, I'd like for you to meet SKaze. SKaze asks  members at animenation a rather heartfelt question:

"How do your feelings towards anime characters of the other sex compare with your feelings towards real people?"


 

You're probably assuming that this soul-stirring question was brought on by the classic lament: "Why can't real boobies jiggle like anime boobies?"

No, no,  SKaze deserves more credit than that. He has rejected the love of all real women not only because the lack of 2D jiggle, but also because real women tend to be unattractive and flawed. And the pretty girls? Egotistical and shallow. Real women, by SKaze's standards, just don't measure up to those darling dolls in the cartoons. I mean, they're so perfect, it's almost like someone thought them up.

And yes, naturally, people weigh in on this "unique" perspective:

Dark_Shiki thinks poor SKaze is confused, and just hasn't met that special girl yet. SKaze, disagrees:

This is a line i hear rather often. my reply is, well, i have been looking for about 11-12 years now. not full-time of course - i have a lot of other things i have/like to do - but enough to make me sick of clubs, parties, and going to uninteresting humanitarian science lectures (where pretty intellectual-type chick density is highest).

regrettably, the tendency has been rather downhill - while in the early years when i was 18-20 it was more often that i found someone at least a bit interesting, with time there've been fewer and fewer occasions like that. i'm just tired of superficialness. just put yourself in my shoes - someone with a graduate degree in a tech science - and ask yourself: how many interesting, beautiful women do you know?

*resists urge to roll eyes to another continent*

Things don't take a turn for the wanky until Leader Desslock shows up to rain on SKaze's parade:

I hate to break it to you, Sparky: yep, it sure is. Your perceptions are being colored by your .... detachment from reality? I can't think of any other way to word this. Real human women are failing to meet up with your fictional ideals. That's not a flaw of real women; it's why real women are REAL.

And from there it's basically the members of the board attempting to bounce logic and "get thee real boobies!" remarks off of SKaze's ego.


Now ladies (and gay men), I know some of the comments made may be particularly offensive...when you aren't laughing yourself in and out of a coma. As an proud owner of real boobies, I think it's a blessing that no woman will ever have to worry about sitting through dinner with this guy, at least before excusing herself to the bathroom and attempting a daring escape through the restaurant's ventilation system.

ETA: Credit for finding this goes to a brave mousie over at wank report.

ETA II: Copy and pasting needs some work...