|
|
varia_lectio (![[info]](http://www.journalfen.net/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} varia_lectio) wrote in ![[info]](http://www.journalfen.net/img/community.gif){kind=small} fandom_wank,@ 2007-04-15 12:49:00 |
 |
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
 |
| Current mood: | Fan-Tabulous |
| Entry tags: | community: oh no they didn't |
Gillian Anderson puts the "Dread" in "Dread Central". NWS.
Found this little gem when I was looking through the "Dread Central" forums for news on "Wrong Turn 2". I didn't find much of interest on that, but when I came upon a thread about the mythical, rumored X-Files movie sequel, I struck wank-gold. Apparently, there are still people who think this is SERIOUS BIZNEZ, and so is Gillian Anderson's hotness, or lack of it.
http://www.dreadcentral.com/forums/view
WARNING: NWS for a really nasty icon with an eyeball being poked/scooped out with a spoon, potty-mouth language, and pics of Gillian Anderson in her underwear/with ribs poking out of her hideous dress.
It starts out innocently enough. A poster called ajburton29 notes roguishly that if there's another X-Files movie, "And Gillian better have a lengthy full frontal nude scene."
You wouldn't believe what an explosion of frantic fanboy wanking and e-penis waving this one, innocent little statement caused.
Inexplicably, guys start noting how hot Jane Fonda was/is. This proves to be mere foreplay for the climax of wank that is to follow, as messiahman opines, "Having seen her [meaning Gillian Anderson, not Jane Fonda] lately, that is the absolute LAST thing I'd be hoping for."
A Gillian fan by the name of kiddcapone posts a sexy pic of Gillian from the good ol' 90s.
messiahman counters with a...um, more recent picture of Gillian, wherein she has shaggy blonde hair, a truly hideous white dress that looks like someone slashed the arms off a turtleneck, and a strained look on her face that suggests she's trying very, very hard to pass gas but just isn't having any success. "Someone give this old lady a sandwich!"
Comments of "E GODS!!!! IT'S SHARON STONE!!! That made my testicles shrivel up into my abdomen. Thanks." and "Can you say...Michael Jackson?" resound.
kiddcapone fires back with "The truth is, if you aged Gillian another 20 years and added 50 extra pounds, she's still probably hotter than 90% of the women who'd agree to fuck you. And here you sit on an internet message board talking about "revulsion" when in reality the girls that are in your league aren't even close to her caliber."
Then, the wanksplosion starts, as kiddcapone and messiahman fire back with more comments about how ugly/hot Gillian still is or may not be, and other posters try to sort them out, only to be smacked down.
messiahman: "Uh-huh -- I knew it was only a matter of time before you reverted into insulting, moronic asshole mode. Thanks for staying true to form. Indeed, I was just telling Sirand that I was expecting you to start up any second. Congratulations, you're a wind-up toy -- a retarded Chatty Cathy doll with a broken string.
The truth is that I'm dating a 24 year old girl here in Hollywood that is ten times hotter than Gillian was in her heyday. Indeed, several board members that also live here in Hollywood can attest to that fact. And I doubt I need to point out that she's certainly much hotter than any girl that would fuck you. At least without you being forced to dip into your wallet and crossing the Nevada border."
