"I should have a deep end, just because I spoke french."
As one might well imagine, Police fandom has become a hotbed for wank and insane behavior since the announced reunion tour in February.

Skipping over all the expected wank about Sting having "turned to the Dark Side", rants about ticket prices, set-lists, and ye olde favorite Sting vs. Stewart wars, we now have the truly batshit crazies coming out of the woodwork - like Roxanne75.

I am a very valueable person! she starts out telling us all on Stewart's messageboard, for no immediately obvious reason. People try to see what she's all on about, and it seems to have something to do with a turned-down marriage proposal--by her or to her, it's not too clear.

"It is NOT the case that all Moroccans are terrorists and when my other friend (a son of a plumber) does not want to see me anymore, because he has no interpersonal skills, It is NOT the case that I have terrorfied him, because I have a friend who is Moroccan."

Okay, then. Soon enough, she reveals her TRUE intentions - to find a husband here on the messageboard! What better place to look for a like-minded crazy? She's not looking for too much, really:

"You should be aged between 37-40, wanting to have children, be well educated, non-smoking and non-drinking, not discriminating towards others and open minded. You should have a keen interest in music, especially into Sting's music. I still only believe into the starsigns libra, scorpio and capricorn. Maybe you live in the UK or France would also be fine."

Some folks try to point out that an internet messageboard might not be the best place to look for a lifemate. At this point she loses her shit and starts ranting about human rights.

Well, it seems Roxanne75 has now had enough of us. Since no one is lining up to marry her and we mock her earnest efforts, she concludes that Sting does not love his fans. "I want not to be hurt in my HUMAN DIGNITY!" she proclaims. The rest of us point and laugh.

I'd go check out the fun soon, before the whole mess finally gets deleted.



[ETA: Oh, apparently this nutter's been all over the Stingus.net messageboards spreading insanity there, too. It's the wank that just keeps wanking: "I have to assume that Sting does not want me, he hates singles and he wants no singles in his forum. I am harassed out with this entry, I did not get the support I needed, they LAUGH about my loss. Sting has puked on the grave of his parents. He is cruel and hateful. I have made a psychological check, my brain is totally fine." Yeah, sure it is, sweetie...]

[ETA Part 2: She's still wanking away: I am a victim and STING must protect me! and her fight will go on for HUMAN RIGHTS!]