Spider-fen, Spider-fen, faps as a hard as a Spidey-Fan Can
Happy Mother's Day!

Over on Movies.Com Someone posts a review for Spider-Man 3.



"Alex" wrote:

I don't really know what they were thinking with this one. I enjoyed the first two... but number 3? Wow, what a miss!

First off, I paid $9 to see SpiderMan 3... not some sappy, weepy, sentimental, overacted piece of crap. The action scenes? Only some were good, the rest were nothing special (the first two had better scenes for sure). The best action scenes were probably the very first between Parker and Harry (on his little glider thing), and then the building getting sliced open by the cranes (poor Bryce!)

So, everyone's been talking about the EMO Parker. I agree with the others, it was ridiculously lame. I couldn't help but roll my eyes each time Parker looked in the mirror, grimaced, and then slicked his hair down, just above his black-lined eyes. Go listen to some Alkaline Trio, *******.

And the scene where Parker pulled a Jim Carrey/"The Mask" stint on MJ in the Jazz bar. What were they thinking? Cheesy, stupid, and irritating.

And WHAT was with all the crying!?!? Good God, was this Ya-Ya Sisterhood!?! I can't even count the number of times some character started weeping... and poorly overacted at that. All those sappy, sentimental one-liners... they were AWFUL! I literally couldn't take it anymore, and neither could the rest of the audience. Towards the end, many in the audience were giggling, snickering, and chuckling at inappropriate times... it was that bad people!

Nevertheless, it made about $60 million in one day... but that doesn't mean us fans of the first two enjoyed it at all. Good God, I want my money back. It was baaad.

-Alex

Alex is obviously a Spidey-Foe who must be stopped.

natparks: $381.7 mil. worldwide in less than a week can't be wrong. Get a life & get a date high school nerds before the school bully gives you another swirly.

And then there's living_dead_boy, who takes a beak from bartending in the dark to wail:

Do bangs and black clothing make you emo? I dont think so, you ingnorant labeling PRICK!!!

Hilarity ensues.