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varia_lectio ([info]varia_lectio) wrote in [info]fandom_wank,
@ 2007-05-19 23:54:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood:Amazed

Cat-Fighting for Ralph Fiennes, IMDB-style!
My apologies, since I know that finding wank on IMDB is so ridiculously easy, but this was too wanky to pass up...since it's literally wanky. Watch as hordes of rabid Ralph Fiennes fans type (one-handed) both their undying desire to do Ralph Fiennes and sling abuse at any man who dares to venture into their sacred Hive Vagina of lusty fantasies! After a while, they even start eating each other!

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000146/board/nest/66697959?p=1

For up to four pages, it's just ladies drooling over Ralph Fiennes' HAWTNESS and asking each other the question, "Would you do him?" Of course they would! But then, someone with a penis (and it is NOT RALPH FIENNES OHNOES) has to come and spoil their fun:

miamicanes974
I'm a guy and I'm not gay, but this guy doesn't seem very good looking to me. I'm better looking than him. I know he has the whole famous actor thing going but reading this thread I wouldve thought it was about Brad Pitt.

shavri6
W T F are you doing here, then? Sorry, but whether or not you want to accept it, women find Ralph sexually attractive. I'd take him over Brad Pitt(BOOORING) anytime. I've seen Ralph in the flesh and he about knocked my socks off, he was so gorgeous. Screw the fact that he's famous, the man is freakin' handsome, point blank, and I don't need YOU, a supposedly heterosexual man telling me, a heterosexual woman what I should or should not find hot. I don't tell you which chicks you should dig. You really think you're better looking than Ralph Fiennes? *snicker* Okay. Why don't you put your money where your mouth is and post a link to a REAL picture of YOU, so we ladies can be the judge that?


miamicanes974
Jesus, take a valium or something. I didn't say I didn't want to accept that women find him attractive, I was just a little surprised. And I'm not trying to tell you what you should or shouldn't find hot. Learn to relax a little instead of getting all bent out of shape over such a simple post.

shavri6
STFU and get out. You're not better look than Ralph Fiennes. Lying bastage. Note: "bastage" must be a particularly loathesome combination of "bastard" and "garbage". Ouch!

Having successfully banished the Demon of Not!Ralph Fiennes Masculinity, the women sit back and enjoy the wanking, although the discussion is tainted somewhat by Fienne's sex-in-a-public-toilet skankdom and the specter of STDs.

mcraedj
Hell no! Sure he is good looking, and his body looked alright in "Red Dragon"...but who knows other terrors are lurking in and around his underpants.

At least Lisa Robertson will get a lot of money out of doing him...good luck to her...but for me I give him a miss.


Apparently talking about anything unpleasant in Mr. Fienne's briefs is ANATHEMA AND BLASPHEMY to shavri6 (as I assume she's replying to the above comment):

And I hope he wouldn't want to touch you, either. He was already foolish enough to sully himself with enough backstabbing, greedy, mean-spirited b * t c h e s, he hardly needs another.

Translation: "YOU WHORE! YOU.ARE.NOT.GOOD.ENOUGH.FOR.HIM!!!!111!1! HE'S MINE! My love is purer than yours! I only want him for his body!"

Poor, innocent Ralph Fiennes! The world may just come to a screeching halt if the wrong fangirl with her dirty motives happens to jump his bones.

The wanking continues, only now it has a mean, chafy little tone to it now, as the fapping gets more viscous...er, vicious.

kmm39
I'm not so sure I'd do him now. I'd have to have him tested for Aids or VD first. :(

shavri6
I doubt he'd want to do you anyway. He might get frostbite.

[Post deleted]
This message has been deleted by the poster

shavri6
Wow, then you must be one of the ugliest, nastiest, skankiest beeotches alive, a retarded, half-blind, deformed horny donkey wouldn't even want to touch you. I really do pity you...and ugh, I talked to you...now I feel a need to go shower.

[Post deleted]
This message has been deleted by the poster

miamicanes974
Wow, it seems you have nasty, smart, responses for everybody. Do you have any friends? I bet you don't and you come on here to spew hate on everybody while defending your stalker like obsession with Ralph Fiennes. If there were less people like you in the world, or atleast on IMDb, it would be a better place.

Or at least a less sticky, spooge-filled place. Them's the highlights.



(Post a new comment)


[info]irised
2007-05-20 07:20 am UTC (link)
Rrrrr, you have to register to see it. Huh.

Needs moar astral plane marriages!


... the retarded, half-blind, deformed horny donkey was a nice touch, though.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]varia_lectio
2007-05-20 07:34 am UTC (link)
Sorry, I forgot that part. Registration's free, though.

And Ralph Fiennes wouldn't get married on an astral plane; he'd just have sex with the stewardess of the astral plane...in the toilet.

Love your icon, BTW. Who made it?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]sorchar, 2007-05-20 08:15 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]irised, 2007-05-20 09:10 am UTC

[info]amxjm
2007-05-20 08:06 am UTC (link)
Your icon is a thing of beauty.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]irised, 2007-05-20 09:11 am UTC
OT but...
[info]wanktasticbus
2007-05-20 07:24 am UTC (link)
Whenever I see a picture of Ralph Fiennes, I always feel like he is trying to stare into my soul so he can turn me into a mindless zombie minion or something.

And shavri6 needs to lay off on the pills.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: OT but...
pastri_archy
2007-05-20 07:57 am UTC (link)
Christopher Walken does that to me. *shudder*

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: OT but... - [info]puipui, 2007-05-20 04:47 pm UTC
Re: OT but... - [info]ladyofviolets, 2007-05-20 05:17 pm UTC
Re: OT but... - [info]fuzzybluelogic, 2007-05-20 05:18 pm UTC
Re: OT but... - [info]puipui, 2007-05-20 09:55 pm UTC
Re: OT but... - [info]grapefruitzzz, 2007-06-09 03:25 pm UTC

[info]melisus
2007-05-20 07:40 am UTC (link)
Wow. But you know what surprises me the most? How well these women type! Where's the netspeak and poor grammar I've come to associate with IMDB?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]varia_lectio, 2007-05-20 07:45 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dragonfangirl, 2007-05-20 03:17 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]nevadafighter, 2007-05-20 05:41 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]rustybitch, 2007-05-20 07:30 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]icedark_elf, 2007-05-22 05:22 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-05-23 12:21 am UTC
yay for OT
[info]darthsemicolon
2007-05-20 07:41 am UTC (link)
So am I the only person who feels sort of bad for finding Ralph Fiennes attractive in Schindler's List?

(Oh noes, Godwin's!)

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: yay for OT - [info]doomsday, 2007-05-20 10:47 am UTC
Re: yay for OT - [info]squib, 2007-05-20 05:25 pm UTC
Re: yay for OT - [info]melisus, 2007-05-20 05:28 pm UTC
Re: yay for OT - [info]seiberwing, 2007-05-20 06:10 pm UTC
Re: yay for OT - [info]melisus, 2007-05-20 06:15 pm UTC
Re: yay for OT - [info]seiberwing, 2007-05-20 06:24 pm UTC
Re: yay for OT - [info]tehrin, 2007-05-20 06:34 pm UTC
Re: yay for OT - [info]doomsday, 2007-05-20 07:48 pm UTC
Re: yay for OT - [info]perletwo, 2007-05-20 11:06 pm UTC
Re: yay for OT - [info]varia_lectio, 2007-05-21 04:16 am UTC
Re: yay for OT - [info]visp, 2007-05-21 05:22 am UTC
Re: yay for OT - [info]luthe, 2007-05-21 09:32 am UTC
Re: yay for OT - [info]fionnabhair, 2007-05-22 01:39 am UTC
Re: yay for OT - [info]visp, 2007-05-23 07:47 am UTC
Re: yay for OT - [info]grapefruitzzz, 2007-06-09 03:26 pm UTC
Re: yay for OT - (Anonymous), 2007-05-23 12:23 am UTC
Re: yay for OT - [info]jat_sapphire, 2007-05-23 02:47 pm UTC
Re: yay for OT - [info]drhenryjekyll, 2007-06-06 08:17 pm UTC
Re: yay for OT - [info]visp, 2007-06-07 01:45 pm UTC

ravenousbunny
2007-05-20 08:25 am UTC (link)
See, this is why I have to avoid the IMDb message boards. It's pure hate-filled, mind numbing stupid in there.

It's always both amusing and a little depressing to see delusional fan girls fight over a guy they probably won't even get a chance to say "hi" to.

(Reply to this)

IAWTC
[info]urpletastic
2007-05-20 08:55 am UTC (link)
I'm a guy and I'm not gay, but this guy doesn't seem very good looking to me.

Plus he's got all the charisma of a wet sock. Nope, I think one would have to be seriously short of lust objects to find Ralph Fiennes desirable. I just watched 'Maid in Manhattan' and couldn't understand (a) why they cast him as an American or (b) what she saw in him, although he does have a certain mild crinkly-eyed charm.

The real hottie in that film, hands down, is Stanley Tucci.

If you need me, I'll be in my bunk ...

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: IAWTC - [info]eilisliana, 2007-05-20 09:18 am UTC
Re: IAWTC - [info]taktuk, 2007-05-20 10:07 am UTC
Re: IAWTC - [info]makeshyft, 2007-05-20 11:29 am UTC
Re: IAWTC - [info]taktuk, 2007-05-20 01:26 pm UTC
Re: IAWTC - [info]stinksap, 2007-05-20 05:06 pm UTC
Re: IAWTC - [info]taktuk, 2007-05-21 05:54 am UTC
Re: IAWTC - [info]stinksap, 2007-05-26 07:48 pm UTC
Re: IAWTC - [info]cyndra_falin, 2007-05-20 10:11 am UTC
Re: IAWTC - [info]panthea, 2007-05-21 06:10 am UTC

[info]blackjackrocket
2007-05-20 10:07 am UTC (link)
Ralph Fiennes has creepy eyes. I thought at first it was just because of the role he had in Schindler's List, but then I saw him in Quiz Show and nope, still creepy.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]community_care, 2007-05-20 04:47 pm UTC

[info]doomsday
2007-05-20 10:51 am UTC (link)
Get off my side, etc., etc.

There are mostly sane Ralph Fiennes fangirls, I swear!

(Reply to this)


[info]makeshyft
2007-05-20 11:28 am UTC (link)
After a while, they even start eating each other

If they did that, what'd they need Ralph for?

And love the use of "Bastage", 'cause it just proves that Lobo is alive and well, and flaming on IMDB..

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]ryuutchi, 2007-05-20 10:51 pm UTC

[info]unctuous
2007-05-20 01:23 pm UTC (link)
Ralph Finnes is the scariest man alive.

Right after Willem Dafoe.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]cythraul, 2007-05-20 01:59 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mcity, 2007-05-20 04:00 pm UTC
(no subject) - vomitymcpuke, 2007-05-20 04:53 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]kahrohseh, 2007-05-20 06:37 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]catslash, 2007-05-20 07:00 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ladyofviolets, 2007-05-20 09:56 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]perletwo, 2007-05-20 11:09 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]msmongi, 2007-05-21 08:06 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]perletwo, 2007-05-21 08:16 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nekoneko, 2007-05-21 03:33 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mcity, 2007-05-20 11:50 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]unctuous, 2007-05-21 04:15 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]msmongi, 2007-05-21 08:08 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]monsley, 2007-05-21 02:39 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]fionnabhair, 2007-05-22 01:41 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]omega, 2007-05-20 04:21 pm UTC
(no subject) - pastri_archy, 2007-05-20 07:37 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]judyhazeleyes, 2007-05-20 08:11 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]miraba, 2007-05-20 10:18 pm UTC
ZOMG DUN TELL ME WHAT I SHOULDN'T FIND SEXY MMKAY - [info]annaham, 2007-05-21 03:18 am UTC
Re: ZOMG DUN TELL ME WHAT I SHOULDN'T FIND SEXY MMKAY - [info]unctuous, 2007-05-21 04:14 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]cyndra_falin, 2007-05-21 05:22 am UTC
(no subject) - pastri_archy, 2007-05-22 02:28 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-05-23 12:25 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]grapefruitzzz, 2007-06-09 04:27 pm UTC

[info]demonbean
2007-05-20 04:54 pm UTC (link)
STFU and get out. You're not better look than Ralph Fiennes. Lying bastage.

"OMG you will recognize teh awes sexz0rz of Ralph Fiennes! You but an insignificant bastage! GO NOW, AND NEVER COME BACK!!!"

I think I've got it down. Now I'm prepared to battle the infidels!

(Reply to this)


[info]alya1989262
2007-05-20 04:59 pm UTC (link)
Ralph Fiennes is pretty hot.

Joseph Fiennes is 5x hotter. XD

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]onaga, 2007-05-20 06:03 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]judyhazeleyes, 2007-05-20 08:12 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]luthe, 2007-05-21 09:34 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]oxydosic, 2007-05-20 08:26 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ladylance, 2007-05-21 07:32 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]marumae, 2007-05-21 02:29 pm UTC

[info]skarrow
2007-05-20 05:34 pm UTC (link)
Not that the ladies didn't get Batshit, but... what was the guy thinking?

4 pages of "OMG X IS HOT."

"I know! I'll post 'X is not hot.' I will gain friends and influence people that way!" Did he not realize he was in a den of Crazy?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]rustybitch, 2007-05-20 07:36 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]skarrow, 2007-05-20 07:38 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]rustybitch, 2007-05-20 07:50 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]skarrow, 2007-05-20 07:52 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]rustybitch, 2007-05-20 07:56 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]cleolinda, 2007-05-20 09:22 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]skarrow, 2007-05-20 09:23 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]cyndra_falin, 2007-05-21 05:29 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]funwithrage, 2007-05-21 03:28 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]yotz_fen, 2007-05-22 05:01 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]plazmah, 2007-05-24 08:30 pm UTC

[info]sandyclaws68
2007-05-20 06:10 pm UTC (link)
These gals need to be introduced to the Snape's Wives Club. . . .

(Reply to this)


[info]tehrin
2007-05-20 06:41 pm UTC (link)
...but who knows other terrors are lurking in and around his underpants.

OH NO! A one-eyed spitting cyclopean serpent!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]oxydosic, 2007-05-20 08:24 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]perletwo, 2007-05-20 11:11 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]cyndra_falin, 2007-05-21 05:30 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]monsley, 2007-05-21 02:42 pm UTC

[info]karmyn75
2007-05-20 07:35 pm UTC (link)
I admit he was wonderfully evil in GoF, but I can never forgive him for the horridness that was the Avengers movie. There is only one John Steed and Ralph is NOT it. Heck, I'd do Patrick Macnee now before I would even think about considering doing Ralph Fiennes, but then I'm weird like that.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]themadscientist, 2007-05-20 11:42 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]evanwaters, 2007-05-21 04:37 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]melusina, 2007-05-21 06:43 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ymfaery, 2007-05-21 12:49 pm UTC

[info]xero_sky
2007-05-20 08:18 pm UTC (link)
Note: "bastage" must be a particularly loathesome combination of "bastard" and "garbage". Ouch!

Bastage has been around at least since the 80's movie Johnny Dangerously. It doesn't really mean anything other than 'bastard' -- it's just mangled.

I don't remember anything else from that movie except a man calling his enemies "fargin iceholes" and getting ticked because no one understands that he means "fucking assholes".



(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]makeshyft, 2007-05-20 09:35 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]dramedy, 2007-06-05 06:12 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]singe, 2007-05-20 09:59 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]frequentmouse, 2007-05-21 12:34 am UTC

[info]oxydosic
2007-05-20 08:23 pm UTC (link)
Eh he's not my cup of tea but this all just reminds me why I'm happy that I tend to lust after less famous actors.

*Goes back to her little corner of Zack Ward lust*

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]icedark_elf, 2007-05-22 05:38 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]oxydosic, 2007-05-22 01:36 pm UTC

[info]jetamors
2007-05-20 09:32 pm UTC (link)
For some reason, up until just now I though Ralph Fiennes was the guy who played Mr. Bean. Which made this entire wank exponentially more bizarre.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]makeshyft, 2007-05-20 09:37 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]jat_sapphire, 2007-05-20 09:40 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2007-05-20 09:57 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]snapetoy, 2007-05-21 01:01 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]karmyn75, 2007-05-21 02:25 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]irised, 2007-05-21 04:31 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]karmyn75, 2007-05-22 12:20 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]irised, 2007-05-22 12:24 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]monsley, 2007-05-21 02:45 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]karmyn75, 2007-05-22 12:23 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]grapefruitzzz, 2007-06-09 10:31 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]cyndra_falin, 2007-05-21 05:35 am UTC

[info]varesh
2007-05-20 10:07 pm UTC (link)
Wow... shavri there is getting into rabid-fangirl-get-Fiennes-another-bodyguard territory, the way she's carrying on...

(Reply to this)

There is one movie, and one movie only that Ralph Fiennes is hot in:
[info]annepackrat
2007-05-21 06:06 am UTC (link)


Oh, baby.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: There is one movie, and one movie only that Ralph Fiennes is hot in: - [info]cyndra_falin, 2007-05-21 06:32 am UTC
Re: There is one movie, and one movie only that Ralph Fiennes is hot in: - [info]annepackrat, 2007-05-21 06:48 am UTC
Re: There is one movie, and one movie only that Ralph Fiennes is hot in: - [info]cyndra_falin, 2007-05-21 10:17 am UTC
Re: There is one movie, and one movie only that Ralph Fiennes is hot in: - [info]karmyn75, 2007-05-21 08:24 pm UTC
Re: There is one movie, and one movie only that Ralph Fiennes is hot in: - [info]monsley, 2007-05-21 02:46 pm UTC
Re: There is one movie, and one movie only that Ralph Fiennes is hot in: - pastri_archy, 2007-05-22 02:29 am UTC

[info]yotz_fen
2007-05-22 04:58 am UTC (link)
Don't care one way or the other about Ralph Fiennes, but I sometimes feel like the only het woman in the universe who doesn't think that Brad Pitt is teh hawtness personified.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]icedark_elf, 2007-05-22 05:40 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]jat_sapphire, 2007-05-22 03:33 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]melusina, 2007-05-23 06:22 am UTC

 
   
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