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Wank of Yesterday -- Today!
Here's another of those slightly aged wanks. But this one is only from 1997. That's practically ripped from today's headlines, people:

Some of the more discerning attendees of the 1997 Dragon*Con noticed that while the listing of events for the con had a certain amount of crunchy Mercedes Lackey coating, many of those events lacked the chewy Mercedes Lackey center.

As is usual in situations of this sort, various conflicting rumors arose. The general consensus was that it had something to do with with bodyguards, or stalkers, or the conrunners screwing up, or something. After all, Lackey had written about her experience with Crazy Fans who thought her Diana Tregarde stories were real. See here for her being upset at her crazy fans, and a friend being upset on her behalf. Also, here's a con report from the time.

Then Mercedes explains it all. In alt.books.m-lackey her gopher and faithful amanuensis, Matt Roberds, recounts a horrific litany of woe. Despite death threats, Lackey was convinced not to cancel her appearance at Dragon*Con. Her friends and fans were counting on her, and Ed Kramer (now there's a wank for another day), the guy running the con, convinced her that everything would be okay.

But everything was not okay.

Despite paying for first class tickets for her and her husband, and giving a thousand dollar speaking fee, and providing a room for her, the two bodyguards the con hired for her, and her personal bodyguard that the con hadn't been told about, the con didn't do everything it should have.

Her room was directly across from a service elevator, which assassins could use to gain quick access. They had to walk in the street to get to panels. She had to walk through rooms with other people in them to get to panels. Attempts to get the room situation resolved didn't work. And the kevlar body armor that she had been wearing all day was uncomfortable. So, when Kramer didn't resolve everything to their satisfaction, they quit the con.

I mean, they quit official participation in the con. There had been events scheduled for "Queen's Own," the Mercedes Lackey fan group, and those went on as scheduled. For the most part, these were open to all convention members, with a few exceptions, but that wasn't widely announced.

All was going well, until after one of their Queen's Own events, someone turned off the lights.

And a bit after that came the ninja assault on her entertainingly named private bodyguard, Pony White.

But it seems that our drama wasn't over yet, because as Pony left the party at about 12:30 pm, he was approached in the Hyatt lobby by two men dressed in black convention-costumes. One asked if he was "Pony", and when he acknowledged that he was, the second man grabbed and held him while the first took a walking-stick and tried to beat him up with it. This was, by the way, in full sight of several witnesses. Fortunately, Pony was still in his body-armor, and he is highly skilled at martial arts. He only took one blow before getting free and damaging both of his attackers; the man who was holding him fled, but he managed to down the one with the stick and handcuffed him to the railing until the police came. His attacker was taken to jail---this is also a matter of public record that can be verified---on assualt charges.

Whoooooeeee!

As you can imagine, this excited a certain amount of sympathetic comment when it was reposted over on alt.fandom.cons. Well, mostly sympathetic comment. Then, Ed Kramer responds. He disputes a certain amount of hotel room related claims, and mentions that he wasn't aware of the attack on Pony until reading that report.

Then more details start appearing: Neither the Hyatt nor the Atlanta Police have any record of an assault in the hotel. There wasn't any 911 call. An internets lawyer points out that crazy people are crazy. Same lawyer also points out that some of this account is more like legal fanfiction than what you'd expect courts to actually do. Also, that it'd leave a record, which it hasn't. And so on. She still has defenders, of course, but not defenders capable of contacting the lost kingdom of Atlanta and speaking unto the constabulary therein long enough to get any sort of case number or supporting evidence.

Naturally, the skepticism doesn't show up on The Mercedes Lackey mailing list, and it's still the reason she don't go to cons no more. No retractions or apologies.

So there you have it. Either a pair of ninjas were able to assault a man in the main lobby of the Hyatt without attracting the notice of the Hyatt staff, and once vanquished and arrested, had sufficient influence to completely eradicate all records of their crimes, arrest, trial, and sentence, or Mercedes Lackey has a dead moth and a cuckoo clock where most people keep their sanity.

I don't know about you guys, but if I had to bet, I'd never in a million years bet against invisible ninjas. Those guys are fierce.

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	llama_treats 2007-07-24 02:55 pm UTC (link)
	I had some Pony White once. That shit was smooooooooooooth. (Reply to this)(Thread)