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Aeanagwen (![[info]](http://www.journalfen.net/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} aeanagwen) wrote in ![[info]](http://www.journalfen.net/img/community.gif){kind=small} fandom_wank,@ 2007-08-22 03:12:00 |
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War Gaming: Can't We All Just Get Along?
You may notice my phrasing below touch on the vague side. This is because I'm not actually in this fandom; my guyfriend modeler directed me to it.
So, there's this subset of tabletop games called war games. It involves using little tin-sculpted figures to play out strategies and battles and objectives and the like. One of the systems for it is called War Machine, put out by Privateer Press. Geared to be a brutal, violent, and above all MACHO affair, every War Machine book has a page near the start which espouses its philosophy in one glorious page of over-the-top fappery. The content of this page (Page 5, specifically--yes, it's the same in every War Machine book ever) can be summed up in one phrase, also the motto of the scenario:
Play Like You've Got A Pair.
Now, a cousin-system for War Machine is called Hordes. One of the races in Hordes is called the Skorne. With a vaguely Asian armor design which appeals to many, the Skorne are savage nomads with an exceptionally harsh, militaristic way of life developed to match their harsh native environments. They also torture animals in order to get full use out of them. Giant elephant-like beasts called titans are kept in control with hooks and chains by a class called Paingivers; the Skorne are said to have raised the methods and results of torture to an art. It's one of the race's main themes, in fact. Now, it's no secret that War Machine and Hordes have a history of putting out very twisted fluff (extra material) for the races of the fantasy world in which the systems are set, the Iron Kingdoms. As sure as D&D Monster Manuals get more horrible with every new installment, there's a certain kind of war game that probably pays its developers more for every horrified shudder that they can evoke.
But now? Oh, now they've gone too far.
A new figure is announced. An infant titan, its premise is that it is tortured to the point where its latent psychic energy manifests as an aura of pain around it, presumably with associated effects to enemy troops. And the place explodes!
Except... well, not really. Possibly the most amusing thing about all this to me is that the wank is fairly mild, but apparently a huge to-do by the standards of the board. There are many words typed about how ugly and heated the thread has gotten. (Really? Where?) They don't even hit Godwin until the last of 11 pages, shortly after which the mods finally lock the thread after several warnings. For the first several pages, it's mostly one-liners and quips one way or another about the quality of the figure and whether or not it's over the line or inappropriate. Some like it, some dislike it, some love it because others dislike it, etc.
About 40 posts in, the serious business gets underway.
"You don't like it because you're jealous!"
"If you don't like it, fine; you're too pansy for the Skorne anyway!"
"We have to consider what the public at large will think! What about our image?!"
Many thoughts aboutyaoi the image of war-gaming are exchanged, though the real tl;dr is a while in coming, with direct personal slurs not being made until about the 120 mark.
Best typo: "accpet that people have divirgin views on this"
And remember, kids! Even Walt Disney made his fortune, "By burning Bambi's mother with a forest fire!"
(First wank, hurt me gently, etc.)
You may notice my phrasing below touch on the vague side. This is because I'm not actually in this fandom; my guyfriend modeler directed me to it.
So, there's this subset of tabletop games called war games. It involves using little tin-sculpted figures to play out strategies and battles and objectives and the like. One of the systems for it is called War Machine, put out by Privateer Press. Geared to be a brutal, violent, and above all MACHO affair, every War Machine book has a page near the start which espouses its philosophy in one glorious page of over-the-top fappery. The content of this page (Page 5, specifically--yes, it's the same in every War Machine book ever) can be summed up in one phrase, also the motto of the scenario:
Play Like You've Got A Pair.
Now, a cousin-system for War Machine is called Hordes. One of the races in Hordes is called the Skorne. With a vaguely Asian armor design which appeals to many, the Skorne are savage nomads with an exceptionally harsh, militaristic way of life developed to match their harsh native environments. They also torture animals in order to get full use out of them. Giant elephant-like beasts called titans are kept in control with hooks and chains by a class called Paingivers; the Skorne are said to have raised the methods and results of torture to an art. It's one of the race's main themes, in fact. Now, it's no secret that War Machine and Hordes have a history of putting out very twisted fluff (extra material) for the races of the fantasy world in which the systems are set, the Iron Kingdoms. As sure as D&D Monster Manuals get more horrible with every new installment, there's a certain kind of war game that probably pays its developers more for every horrified shudder that they can evoke.
But now? Oh, now they've gone too far.
A new figure is announced. An infant titan, its premise is that it is tortured to the point where its latent psychic energy manifests as an aura of pain around it, presumably with associated effects to enemy troops. And the place explodes!
Except... well, not really. Possibly the most amusing thing about all this to me is that the wank is fairly mild, but apparently a huge to-do by the standards of the board. There are many words typed about how ugly and heated the thread has gotten. (Really? Where?) They don't even hit Godwin until the last of 11 pages, shortly after which the mods finally lock the thread after several warnings. For the first several pages, it's mostly one-liners and quips one way or another about the quality of the figure and whether or not it's over the line or inappropriate. Some like it, some dislike it, some love it because others dislike it, etc.
About 40 posts in, the serious business gets underway.
"You don't like it because you're jealous!"
"If you don't like it, fine; you're too pansy for the Skorne anyway!"
"We have to consider what the public at large will think! What about our image?!"
Many thoughts about
Best typo: "accpet that people have divirgin views on this"
And remember, kids! Even Walt Disney made his fortune, "By burning Bambi's mother with a forest fire!"
(First wank, hurt me gently, etc.)
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