On page 1066 of the bighuge RPG.net image thread, a comic page is posted that mocks what is, in the words of Ciaphas Cane, "a really shitty webcomic".

Through the magic of interwebs, the author Bobby Crosby shows up and takes offense.



LOL. First, I have no clue what modern powergaming sensibilities are. Second, "Last Blood" uses almost zero cliches and goes against almost all traditions while creating lots of new ones, like a totally new origin for zombies that ties them together with vampires. It's the most original zombie or vampire story that I've ever heard of. I'm guessing you're someone that I banned from the comments. I agree that it's a shitty comic, though -- could be a million times better.

I'm quite confused by that rip-off image.

Ciaphas Cain engages the intruder!

The cliches are more of the modern Ann Rice variety, and where the powergaming comes from... well, allow me to explain good sir!

1.) Vampires don't appear to be, well, vampires. They're superheroes (or super anti-heroes, whatever) that happen to drink blood. Aside from that they only seem to be vulnerable to stakes. They are otherwise indistinguishable from humans and, indeed, seem to enjoy everything mortals do with the added bonus of insane superpowers.
2.) Vampires with katanas. Vampires and katanas and Hitler.
3.) Unstoppable zombie horde that appears in the space of around about 3 days, whittling 6 billion humans down to what, 300 including Mexico? That's ridiculous. Maybe if you'd trapped all of humanity in one giant box, but c'mon.
4.) Vampire sluts, yay!
5.) There appears to be pretty much no drawback to becoming a zombie when you're a vampire unless you don't like painful transformations, given that you get all your vampiric powers and sentience back eventually and can now control an army of zombies which can wipe out the world's population of humans in less than a week. And best of all, you wouldn't depend on blood anymore!

And now to get away from the more cliche stuff and powergaming-style nonsense, we just delve into the uniquely bizarre:

In the space of one evening, our human female lead goes from being so distressed by the existence of vampires that she throws up all over the place, works up a homicidal rage, then suddenly just accepts them, goes back to teaching class and by evening wants to jump the male vampire lead's bones. Well, I hope she brushed her teeth first.

Bobby claims that no, his comic is not cliche! Also he's never heard of this "Blade" or read any other zombie/vampire books and he doesn't know what a katana is, so he must not be cliche at all. Also he hates it, even though "it's already being published and quite successfully, and I'm about to option the film rights for a large sum of money."

(Note: You'll need an RPG account to see the specific forum containing the first thread, where the few pages of wank are interspersed with random images, but it's not essential to seeing the forum for the second and larger wanky thread.)


He and Bobby go back and forth for three or so pages attempting to disprove each others' points until the wank merits its own thread. Bobby continues to be amazing.


Please tell me of a more original zombie or vampire story. I've never once said that it has no cliches, as you lied about. Of course it has cliches. Everything has cliches. But it has the least amount of cliches of any zombie or vampire story that I've ever heard of. ---Despite the fact that he's admitted to being exposed to very little of either genre. This is assuaged by his claims that since he's never been exposed to the material, he can't be using the cliches.

Well, it's the most popular horror comic online and it's had well over 100,000 pageviews today and I'm about to sell it to Hollywood, so yeah, that was my problem and it didn't work out well.

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Wow, do I? Did I give you that impression when I said that I HATE the comic? Or was it when I said there's no reason to care about any of the characters? JEEZ, have you read anything that I've said at all? My whole f*cking point is that it's insane for someone's main criticism about it to be that it's cliche, since it's the least cliche zombie story I've ever heard of and it actually has original elements to it, unlike almost ALL other zombie stories. Don't know how many times I have to say this.--And yet...he's in here defending it.

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Did you skip the part where I said that of course it has tons of cliches? Just because something has the LEAST amount of something doesn't mean it has NONE of something. My point is that almost all zombie stores are INSANELY unoriginal and mine is simply the least unoriginal one I've ever heard of -- and I've heard literally hundreds of people tell me the same thing, that it's the most original zombie story they've ever heard of.--The lurkers support him in email!

And the grandest of all:

I'm not contradicting myself in any conceivable way.



Then Bobby got banned for a month and the thread degenerates into random banter.

EDIT: Apparently this is neither his first first nor second wank offense.

SECOND EDIT: And now he's wanking on GAFF.