JKR: Lying, elitist, nouveau-riche welfare scammer off her meds!
Via SevMousie at wank_report, a small but amusing wank from Harry Potter, the fandom that keeps on giving even when it probably shouldn't. Consider this a refreshing between-courses sorbet alongside the feast of wank that is Lexicongate.

As a thank-you to certain key people involved in the process of publishing HP, J.K. Rowling has created seven handwritten copies of The Tales of Beedle the Bard, the book of children's stories which played a pivotal role in DH. Only six of these will be given as gifts, however: the seventh is to be auctioned off, with the proceeds going to charity. To the untrained eye, it may appear that JKR has created a set of interesting, unique, labor-intensive thank-you presents for her close associates, and found yet another way to rack up cash for deserving charities. But those of us in the HP fandom know that everything JKR does is actually OMG TEH EBIL.

Sarah over at Luxist, apparently unable to distinguish between a new HP book and a rare HP collectible, is butt-hurt because she can't have a copy because JKR is discriminating against the poor, y'all (all bolding mine):

So the concept of exclusive literature leaves me cold. If you're interested in the etymology, however, it's more than appropriate: a bard was a poet employed by the wealthy to tell tales of their great deeds. I always thought of J.K. Rowling as something far more free-spirited; but it this bard's tales will only be told to a few.

Sarah is all about defending the financially disadvantaged, you see, especially when she says things like this:

When J.K. Rowling burst to the scene with her first Harry Potter books, much was made of her struggling, lower-class background: the welfare mom made good. And many pundits have lauded her tales for making reading exciting again for children everywhere. She made literature relevant to even those who were, like she was once, just squeaking by.

Because before Harry Potter poor people, of course, did not read. Trufax.

The original post is wanky enough but, as always, the real onanism is to be found in the comments.

There's bawwwing about the limited-edition, handwritten book not being widely available:
Stephanie: Whats she doing? think of all the people that have been loyal to her and her books, why would she do something like this? I can understand her only signing 7, but this just isn't right.

Molls: JKR gets bipolar from time to time and needs to stay on her meds. She doesn't need to put another book out for the public until she gets a grip on herself. Her jealousy over her own characters and her actions to destroy them tells me she needs a long vacation from anything to do with HP and probably childrens books altogether. I think she's having some serious Freudian meltdowns.
Freudian, yet!

heather: BUT, it is disgusting knowing that she's only making 6 of these to be given away and a 7th to auction. I would have bought it but now I see she's sectioning the "fans" from her closest which sucks but it's her choice. I'll have to start boycotting the rest of her stuff. She makes post Harry Potter.
OMG! JKR draws a distinction between her close personal friends and her fans? That bitch!

M: I am all for charity, but at the expense of Harry Potter fans world wide when it is completely unnecessary, I don't think so.
OMG U GUISE, POTTERFEN SHOULD COME BEFORE CHARITY!!! ALSO, WE HAVE NO SENSE OF ENTITLEMENT WHATSOEVER, RLY.


There's classwank:
Panda: Rowling shouldn't have spent her time writing a book while she was on welfare in the first place. Her ideas were NOT original, and she abused the system instead of getting a job - now she is a billionaire. Great thing to support, people. Make the lazy rip-offs get rich. She'd BETTER give money to charity, because she once WAS a charity. So what if she 'made reading fun for children'. Children these days are being raised incorrectly and within a decade the work force will be filled with worthless video game-munching ADHD-afflicted cretins. You're all supporting the failure of our future.

Devlyn: well I think this woman is full of herself and possible a liar about
her low income pulling herself out with her writeing but then we
have been lied to before about this stuff I wont be readding any more of her stuff that is just wrong what she is doing and her charity may be her pocket too

Greg: I would expect something like this from "old money". They have had that attitude toward those "beneath them" since time immemorial. But from the nouveau riche? Obviously, this rich bitch has forgotten her roots!
Is it can be class war tiem now plees?


And of course, there are hysterics over the shocking news that Dumbledore is STILL GAY:
Pat: ya know this woman is FINISHED! ! I FOUGHT AWAY PEOPLE ABOUT MY KIDS WATCHING SOMETHING WITH MYSTIC'S IN IT, THEN PUTS SEXUALITY INTO IT,, WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH CHILDERN ? SHE'S FINISHED IN MY HOME WITH MY CHILDREN AND MYSELF . HOW DARE HER TO PUT THE ISSUE OF SEUALITY IN FRONT OF CHILDREN
NEVER AGAIN NOT MY CHILDREN AND NOT IN MY HOME !
FINISHED !!!!BOYCOTT THIS TRASH SHE'S FINISHED ! !

Donna: One question-why is it that gay life styles are pushed in everyone's face? I don't really care what a person does with their personnal life or behind closed doors. Just don't throw it in my face or the faces of the young.


...on and on ad nauseum. It's kind of like a bloody proletariat uprising, except stupid. And with more spelling errors.