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Look well! This is how a true otaku wanks!
Hoboy, is this gonna be a hard one. First time poster here, folks. Be gentle?

On the blog of anime webcomic Mistakes of Youth, a comic is released on November 3rd that shows just what artist/creator wildarmsheero's thinks of the latest series in the Gundam franchise, Gundam 00:

Sunrise has finally done it. As of right now, I will not watch any new Gundam show ever again. It's not so much that Gundam 00 is totally fucking horrible (though there is that, too) but the franchise has strayed so far from what made it good. Everything from the terrible opening and ending tracks to the sickening male character designs just makes me want to puke. It also doesn't help that it only took 2 episodes for the story to just get fucking boring and bogged down with line upon line of horrid dialogue. So yeah, goodbye Gundam. It's been fun, but now it's done. I'll just stick to old UC series from now on.

Whilst there is a little bit of wank in the comments on the blog entry, it's not until the very next post that wildarmsheero truly lets the wank fly, where he rages against the anime fans who enjoy Gundam 00 and the various shows like it:

It’s not so much that I’m mad at Gundam 00. I’m not one to get mad at TV shows, that’s a silly thing to do. I am however mad at people watching and liking it. This, again, is something very silly. I usually don’t get mad about things like this, but Gundam 00 is kind of the straw that broke the camel’s back. In that, it was the breaking point on a build up of rage I have towards modern anime fans for having shitty taste in general.

...and uses fellow animenano blogger DarkMirage as an example of what he hates about modern anime fans' tastes:

Gundam 00 on its own isn’t that offensive. I mean, it’s just your normal boring anime, one of many that clogs Japanese airwaves these days. I think what pushes it to moderate hate level is the clear fujoshi pandering and the absolutely horrible opening and ending numbers. What causes me to explode into FITS OF RAGE is when I read gay fanboying like this (yes, I did just call DarkMirage out. Your blog FUCKING SUCKS, by the way.)

This does it: the comments are immediatley filled with srs bsns and thoughts on yaoi Gundam. Whilst everyone tries to stay off flaming, there's enough srs bsns enough to float the Yamato.

But then DarkMirage initiates his counterattack on his blog in response, accusing wildarmsheero of being a sad nostalga freak!

Were things really better in the “good old days”? Do so-called “classics” really deserve the god-like status that fanboys like wildarmsheero bestow upon them? I don’t think so.

The original Mobile Suit Gundam was undeniably ahead of its time. But it is nowhere close to an Grade A anime by today’s standards. I can give it the respect that it deserves as a pioneering piece of work, but I honestly do not think that it can stand up to modern competitors. I definitely won’t recommend it to a friend. Certainly, Thomas Edison’s light bulb brought a new age upon humanity, but I prefer my compact fluorescent light, okay?

Whilst on this tangent, DarkMirage also adds in this stinging bon mot about wildarmsheero's fanboy obsession with Kaede Fuyou, a character from the PC H-game and anime Shuffle! (and adds in an image of two other characters from the game, with a caption saying they "pwn Kaede". Zowie!):

To put things in perspective… wildarmsheero spends an obscene amount of time talking about Kaede Fuyou, the absolute worst character (IMNSHO) from the PC-game-turn-anime SHUFFLE!. As someone who has purchased and played quite a few bishoujo games, I, DarkMirage, assert that SHUFFLE! is a terribly clichéd game and wildarmsheero “fucking sucks” for blogging about this horrible franchise which can’t hold even half a candle to the classics.

And in a similar fashion, it makes me very mad that wildarmsheero likes a messed-up character from a crappy series so much that he actually bought pillow covers of her. That’s right, it offends my sensibilities! We should all be blogging about awesome classics like Tokimeki Memorial and Sentimental Graffiti and hugging Shiori Fujisaki pillows instead! Oldies forever!!!…

…Doesn’t that sound awfully silly to you? Mr. Original Gundam Fan? ;) But that’s basically what UC purists are saying, except with less moé and more mecha.

(*Actually, DarkMirage is a Shuffle! fan, by the way: he just hates Kaede and prefers Asa, the green-haired gal who "pwns" her, as he puts it.)

Finally, he concludes with:

Please get over this irrational obsession with the past. The old days only seem better after a makeover via selective memory. Stop judging every Gundam title based on how close it is to the original (or at least stop trying to convince me that there’s any logic to it). Thank you.

Once again the storm of srs bsns wank rages on, a invocation of Godwin's, and wildarmsheero telling DarkMirage to "leave my wife out of this". Shocking!

And wildarmsheero makes another post that follows on from the last one, keeping on the blog war this time by opening the ring to the blogging community at large:

While I did not get disjointed fits of rage and luls in response (instead I got boring level-headed responses) I did learn a lot about the general mindset of the anime blogging community, which is something that has perplexed me for ages.

Basically, they’re mostly a bunch of pussy faggots.

He follows on this revelation with:

So, basically the thing here is that there is a distinct lack of manly passion in anime fans these days. It’s not that older works are shit, it’s that most newer mainstream works pander so heavily to the faggy mindset that plagues today’s youth. And that’s why they like them. Because they are faggots. Either that or they hate things that “look old”, and that’s pretty gay too.

Once again the comments are filled with srs bsnss, and even get some flames in with the bargain! But then Ashley burns the place up with her burning soul and her flame of righteousness:

I usually like to keep my mouth shut whenever I come across someone who pisses me off beyond reason online, but if I have to scroll through 50 million of your little Deadjournal-esque bitch rants every time I go to AnimeNano I may just have shoot myself in the vagina.

You think that just because you can spell the word, “manliness” that you’re free to toss it around as you please.

You’re a fucking 19 yr. old male whose favorite show revolves around a ten year old girl playing dress up with a fucking magical stuffed animal.

You’re obviously too pussy to go pick up real women so you have to resort to fantasizing over prepubescent girls. I mean, the 18 and over crowd are all a bunch of worthless, stupid bitches because they don’t want to willingly spread their legs for a catch like you? Might as well stick to those Pre-K babes by the McDonald’s ball pit and slowly work yourself up to asking Susie to the 6th grade social.

Then again, you’re probably too shitless to make an effort to talk to any upright, living thing with a vage.

Also, please consider the fact that you spend over a hundred dollars on fucking pillowcases that end up as glorified semen deposit boxes before you go calling anyone else a moron. Surprisingly, some men prefer the soft, pillowy warmth of another human being’s chest to a flat expanse of 50/50 polyester-cotton blend. Well, at least she’ll never be able to tell you that your dick’s pathetic and you whine like a bitch during orgasm.

In short, I’ve probably plucked more hair from my eyebrows in the past week than you have been able to grow on your sac during your entire lifetime. Please kindly slam your cock in a car door next time you open your mouth and try to extol the virtues of manliness.

PS-If I wanted to see shitty art, I’d hand Michael J. Fox a crayon and tell him to go at it.

But that's not all! Just when it seemed that Ashley's flame had left him on the ropes, wildarmsheero comes back with his ultimate attack:

A SPECIAL EDITION OF HIS VERY OWN PODCAST. (under "Bonus Audio Section")

Yes, he takes the time and the webspace to make a point by point response to some of the comments aimed at him, as well as DarkMirage's post in response to the post that started all this wank off in the first place. To part of the score from Giant Robo The Animation no less!

After that, the wank mostly stops there. Obviously DarkMirage has been overwhelmed by wildarmsheero's power over mp3 files and has skulked back to his own blog. I suppose there's a lesson to be learned, but all I've learned is that you should never diss on somebody's 2D fictional wife. Otherwise he could just make a podcast in response...

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(Post a new comment)

marsdragon
2007-11-18 03:16 am UTC (link)

You'd think a guy named wildarmsheero could appreciate a Gundam that's basically Wing done right.

And Gundam was NEVER good for "manliness" like he's talking about. Go rewatch 0079 and witness Amuro's incredible power of WHINE. Or Kamille's. Or, uh...pretty much every Gundam protagonist besides Domon and Loran. And Domon doesn't really count anyway, since G Gundam was pretty much a super robot show. Loran's just awesome. And a crossdresser.

In conclusion: Super robots are both more manly and more pretty than reals. Best of both worlds.