The wank is small, but it brought me much LOL
A nonny mouse friend brought the wank to me and contributed to the write-up; I'm not super familiar with this author but the spooge was still very clear. Patricia Kennealy-Morrison (aka the Lizard Queen, aka “Dame Patricia Anne Elizabeth Genevieve Honora Kennealy Morrison, DTJ,”) author of the semi-defunct Keltia series, recently authored a new novel sans publisher entitled "Ungrateful Dead: Murder at the Fillmore." Said novel has been self-published at Lulu.com and also at Amazon.com, to great acclaim and fewer sales.

Now Dame Ms. Morrison would like to know why her handpicked group of non-Doorzoid non-Pamhead friends hasn’t read and reviewed her fanfic, and she is totally not going to publish any more chapters until she gets AT LEAST FIVE REVIEWS OK.

Why should I spend time and effort on something none of you will bother to support? Everyone claims they'd do ANYTHING for their Creatrix. Anything except buy her new book and post a review, apparently.

Bonus fun: She also doesn’t like being defriended, even if she hasn’t friended you back.

Authors everywhere will be sympathetic to the “why didn’t you R&R?” plaint, but hot damn, that is some wanky stuff right there.