How NOT to Date a Celebrity
Secrets kept popping up on Fandom Secrets hinting at a person who was convinced that they were dating Zachary Quinto of Heroes fame. Most people didn't know what was going on until the other day, when freetheelves2 pops out of the woodworks to tell us that she was getting bored. People asked for an explanation and things quickly devolved. I had posted to fandom lounge asking about the situation and as it devolved into wank twentythree posted it to clairvoyantwank.

The next day, the entire thread of wank disappears. Too bad the internet never forgets (it's a zip file with saved webpages). Another thread is started to discuss the deletion. It's decided that they should take it to a private journal to save it from all these mysterious deletions (about three threads have been deleted at this point). cazrolime creates a post to discuss the situation. The discussion of this thread on FS is later deleted.

This is where the fun stuff begins. It comes to light that freetheelves2 is using her psychic mother to figure out who's been posting secrets about her and sending her 800+ f-list after them. And her point of contact with Zachary Quinto is her 12-year-old medium sister. That's right folks, apparently she's dating him on the astral plane! And he sends her letters and family heirloom earrings through spirits, through her medium sister...or something.

All is full of lulz until the cavalry arrives to defend their friend's honor and break Snacky's Law. They staunchly defend freetheelves' sanity, while slinging around the word moot (which apparently meand vagina down under). The defenders start taking a page from freetheelves' book and deleting their comments as they are attacked by mice enraged by their comparisons to current tragedies in the news and attempted guilt trips about the possibility of freetheelves hurting herself.

And if that wasn't a fun enough romp for you, the mice and medoroa bring the funny with an amusing exchange of Sylar/Mohinder wedding photos.

Edited: freetheelves2 addresses the issues and breaks Snacky's Law and she is already aware of our presence. Thanks a lot numbnuts mouse.

Edited again: Annoying sock is annoying revealed to be a freetheelves supporter. What a surprise.

A Note to the Mice (and anyone else asking)
We actually have rules here on Fandom Wank. Rule number 6 states Do not link to locked material. So no matter how much you want proof or lulz or whatever from FTE's super sekrit filter posts, you can't have them. Please stop being morons and asking for them. Certainly don't post them! The mods will take your mouse power away.

Hey look! A mouse wrote this wank a Theme Song!

Yet Another Edit: Some of the former super secret filter friends are doing a little Q&A Thread.

A Note to the Mice (and anyone else asking) Part 2
Snacky says "summarizing the flocked posts is pretty much a no-go here too. This is a JF-wide thing, not just a FW thing, and we'd really like not to piss off the JF admins and respect their wishes."

Let's review:
Don't link to locked posts.
Don't ask to be linked to locked posts.
Don't c&p locked posts.
Don't encourage the posting of locked posts.
Don't summarize locked posts.
Don't [verb of your choice] locked posts!