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ari_o ([info]ari_o) wrote in [info]fandom_wank,
@ 2008-07-06 03:21:00

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Trufax, this wank could have used a little blue pill
This is a tiny one sided wank, but it made me giggle. Of course that might be the bottle of knob creek I just finished.

Popwatch asks readers to share their desktop wallpaper. There are a lot of David Cook fans posting, which is fine unless you are Nihilistic:

David Cook is NOT HOT! He's a fat, pale, soulpatch-wearing, prematurely balding oaf and in six months you people are all going to be ashamed of yourselves. Mark my words. I never knew this board was made up of so many lemmings.



Most commenters ignore N, but one asks if s/he is a David A fan? N responds with this:

No American Idol for me, Jill. I like to be entertained when I turn on my TV. But the absurdity of the overflow of David Cook worship amid these comments is driving me mental. The bloated, balding, bearded bumpkin looks like a hairier Sean Astin in Lord of the Rings. A sex symbol he is infinitely not.

"I can't carry it for you, Mr.Frodo...but I can carry you!"

But this still gets zero response and commentors just keep saying "I <3 COOKIE!!!11" so N ups the bait:

Just a question. What is the average age range among the people here who believe David Cook is a hot or good-looking or even sexy MAN. See, I've been coming here for a while and somewhere along the way I got the impression I was among adults here, but today that notion has been completely shattered. Forever.

People post reasonable replies like Slodwick's here:

Nihilistic -- I'm 28. Does that count as too young or too old for you? I don't understand why it's so hard to just accept that people who aren't you clearly find David Cook attractive.

Then someone decides to put D Cook on their computer just for Nihilistic:

::sigh:: Here I am, readin' the comments, absorbing a smidgeon of artistic and pop-cultural elan (enjoyed the links, btw)...and then, whatdaya know, a chunk comes floating to the top.
To stay OT...my wallpaper(s): n/a photographs.
But, heck, you know what? I'm going to go right now and hunt up a pic of Mr. Cook (right-click-set), just so I can further brighten your day. Nil.
Sheesh. One in every crowd.
_______________

I wish there had been more. And like I said tiny and kind of a premature ejaculation.


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