333, the number of Satan's torso?
I found this at wank_report and have too much time on my hands this week. There were 333 comments when I started the recap.

MTV.com has a Twilight Tuesday thing every uh, Tuesday. Let me 'splain, no there is too much. Let me sum up. Stephenie Meyer's Vampire series Twilight is now also a movie coming out in December and staring Cedric Diggory (aka RPATZZ). MTV is making the movie and this blog every Tuesday is part of their marketing strategy.

Today's post is about three sophomore girls from Texas who formed "The Bella Cullens." Larry, the blog writer, falls all over their jailbait asses:

"I had seen their MySpace page and heard some of their songs, but I was honestly amazed by how pretty their voices and melodies are, and with lyrics like “Edward’s so hot he can set the house on fire/he’s a sexy vampire,” these teens already have more talent than all the Pussycat Dolls put together."

1. Those are good lyrics? WOT?
2. More talent than the who now? Doesn't slime mold have more talent?
3. The band's name abbreviated is BCP. But remember only condoms help prevent STDs.


Most comments are some variation on "Larry, you fail" or "I <3 LARRY!":

Edward Cullen Says:
July 8th, 2008 at 9:50 am

My Sparkly Peen sings better, even when it drools for muh Bella.

But Janet comes to Larry's rescue:

Janet Says:
July 8th, 2008 at 10:02 am

Yikes people are being harsh. :) He has a lot of weeks to fill before december and I’m sure summit wouldn’t let him give us big stuff like clips every week and remember these are a gift. I’ve never seen people do something like this before to promote a movie…weekly updates I mean. Larry, I really thought it was the trailer this week and now I feel silly.

Under the cut I C&P for your pleasure.



Amanda Marie* Says:
July 8th, 2008 at 10:09 am

LEAVE LARRY ALONE!!!! You guys are SO ungrateful, could you imagine how hard it is to think of something to do EVERY Tuesday for almost 9 months. He is giving us what he can, BE THANKFUL! TT is a privilage us Twilighters have, we cant demand anything more or less. Larry I love everything you do for us, so ignore all these people who are to worked up to see what you have done for us in the past and what you will do for us in the future!


%?~$ Says:
July 8th, 2008 at 10:19 am

Um……….
Fail. If I wanted to see fat girls singing I would just go to youtube. MTV fails again.

THIS IS AWESOME:

Regina Says:
July 8th, 2008 at 10:26 am

Let me tell you something about The Bella Cullen Project. We were best friends in middle school. I know, right? It’s so embarrassing. I don’t even…whatever. So then in 8th grade, I started going out with my first boyfriend Kyle who was totally gorgeous but then he moved to Indiana, and they were like, weirdly jealous of him. Like, if I would blow them off to hang out with Kyle, they’d be like, “why didn’t you call us back?” and I’d be like, “why are you so obsessed with me?” So then, for my birthday party, which was an all-girls pool party, I was like, “Girls, I can’t invite you, because I think you’re lesbians.” I mean I couldn’t have lesbians at my party. There were gonna be girls there in their *bathing suits*. I mean, right? They were LESBIANS. So then their moms called my mom and started yelling at her, it was so retarded. And then they dropped out of school because no one would talk to them, and when they came back in the fall for high school, all of their hair was cut off and they were totally weird, and now I guess they’re on crack.

Insomnia Says:
July 8th, 2008 at 10:53 am

Yo, shut the F up with the “fat girls” comments. Don’t get personal, it’s not like they made MTV put them on Twilight Tuesday. I doubt you’d say that to them in person (and if you did, probably from a distance or hidden in a crowd), so go dig a hole and lay in it (Wow…That wasn’t a very original defense…Oh well, guess I fail too, lol).


smeyer iz a jeanuz Says:
July 8th, 2008 at 11:25 am

excuse me, but this article contains spoilers. there should really be a warning beforehand. i can understand you wanting to boost book sales by letting people know bella actually redeems herself by jumping off a cliff, but some people really don’t want the experience ruined for themselves. you people are DISGUSTING, god.

TWILIGHT FAN!!!!! Says:
July 8th, 2008 at 11:25 am

LARRY I AM A HUGE FAN OF TWILIGHT AND I LOVVED THIS TT!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR INTRODUCING ME TO THIS WANDERFUL NEW BAND BCP! I DONT KNOW HOW TO THANK YOU! SO I WOULD LIKE TO OFFER YOU MY FISH TACO!

Candace Says:
July 8th, 2008 at 11:37 am

FANS!! Stop bashing Larry!! Do you realize we have several MONTHS to go until December 12th rolls around?? That’s quite a few Twilight Tuesdays to come up with…this may not be your “favorite week” but we’re lucky Larry & MTV even care enough to give us a Twilight Tuesday!
Keep up the good work Larry, many of us DO appreciate all you do!!

(Awww, Candace has never heard of marketing!)

disney princess Says:
July 8th, 2008 at 11:41 am

Every Tuesday we think Larry will bring us a decent Twilight Tuesday.
But really, he’s hooking up with FAIL in the projection room above the auditorium.

(These are twatlight injokes, no?)


TEXAS Says:
July 8th, 2008 at 11:44 am

JUST SO YOU KNOW, I’M ASHAMED THE BELLA CULLEN PROJECT IS FROM ME.


Lucy Says:
July 8th, 2008 at 11:46 am

If you guys think this is lame or a failure or this isn’t the real TT, then you shouldn’t be called a Twilighter. This is called TWILIGHT TUESDAY, not TWILIGHT MOVIE TUESDAY! It is centered around aspects of the Twilight universe and fandom. Anyone who wants to see the clips from the Penelope DVD, buy it or rent it, don’t expect it to be on the internet. Stop complaining. You people should be glad we get anything at all. STOP BEING WHINY. “This isn’t good enough for me. Where’s my TT? I’m being a spoiled brat.” That is what I see when people are complaining. Larry has been more than great to us to stop being brats! Be grateful. If you don’t like it, don’t comment. “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” So all you ungrateful twerps, just SHUT UP. No one wants to hear you be a brat and be mean.

FLORIDA Says:
July 8th, 2008 at 11:46 am

I’M GLAD THE BELLA CULLEN PROJECT ISN’T FROM ME.
SORRY, TEXAS.


Patrick Bateman Says:
July 8th, 2008 at 11:58 am

Do you like The Bella Cullen Project? I’ve been a big The Bella Cullen Project fan ever since the release of their 2008 album. Before that, I really didn’t understand any of their work. Too artsy, too intellectual. It was on their album where Bella Cullen’s presence became more apparent. I think Sexy Vampire was the group’s undisputed masterpiece. It’s an epic meditation on intangibility. At the same time, it deepens and enriches the meaning of the preceding three albums. Bella, take off your robe. Listen to the brilliant ensemble playing of Chandler, Tori and Nash. You can practically hear every nuance of every instrument. Alice, remove your dress. In terms of lyrical craftsmanship, the sheer songwriting, this album hits a new peak of professionalism. Rosalie, why don’t you, uh, dance a little. Take the lyrics to Land of Confusion. In this song, The Bella Cullen Project addresses the problems of abusive political authority. Sexy Vampire is the most moving pop song of the 1980s, about monogamy and commitment. The song is extremely uplifting. Their lyrics are as positive and affirmative as anything I’ve heard in rock. Esme, get down on your knees so Emmett can see your %@@#*~$. Phil Collins’ solo career seems to be more commercial and therefore more satisfying, in a narrower way. Especially songs like In the Air Tonight and Against All Odds. Jasper, don’t just stare at it, eat it. But I also think Phil Collins works best within the confines of the group, than as a solo artist, and I stress the word artist. This is Sussudio, a great, great song, a personal favorite.

(More twatlight injokes?)


Monica S is Butthurt Says:
July 8th, 2008 at 12:06 pm

“if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all!”

What communist bullcrap are you pulling on me here? LAME. FULL OF FAIL.

There’s a thing called freedom of speech? Stop shoving your socialist views on me and let me enjoy my American rights. Stop acting so butthurt. We’re not attacking you, so get over it.

P.S. Larry doesn’t care about you.


Coach Carr Says:
July 8th, 2008 at 12:27 pm

IF YOU LISTEN TO THIS YOU *WILL* GET KLIMIDIA…
AND DIE.



Ok, I give up here. You can read past page 5 on your own.

Q.E.D Twilight Fandom is wanky

ETA: LARRY SPEAKS!:

Larry Carroll Says:
July 8th, 2008 at 10:22 pm

I was hoping to maybe do a future piece on The Mitch Hansen band as many of you say, but I wanted to see how you guys enjoyed the Bella Cullen story first. Thanks for everyone’s honest comments, but it seems some people don’t like when we step out of the box like this. What do you guys think? Would you like to see more stories on people like the Bella Cullens, the NoMoreMarbles, Mitch Hansen, etc.? It’s your Twilight Tuesdays, guys, so you tell me.

ETA w/XTRA SPARKLES: http://www.thebellacullenproject.com (warning: music embedded in site) is getting spammed on the comment pages by people claiming to be from ontd_twatlight. Twatlighters are saying it is not them. (Sorry can't like to comment pages directly.)


cleolinda convinced me to add the BONUS EW COVER FROM HELL!!!1:
http://www.stepheniemeyer.com/
21 pages of OMGWTFBBQ at ontd

ETA part 9.546382023: MTV blog has posted the EW photo. There may be more comments to come though currently it is at 0. Larry wants to know what people think! *CACKLE*