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Ilya ([info]ilya) wrote in [info]fandom_wank,
@ 2008-11-13 16:42:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:crazy people, fandom: twilight, why are you even reading these books?

It can't be called insanely creepy if it was done in a joking manner, can it?
Have you heard about the pandemonium that Robert Pattinson--the flesh and blood incarnation of Sparkly Marblepeen God Edward Cullen--has been causing as he makes his way across America in a series of Hot Topic mall tours?

Well, a group of twats, members of the Twilight humor community 'Twatlight, were there to experience the chaos first hand, and they had a plan to bring a smile to Robert's face.

Tom Sturridge is the somewhat lesser known in real life BFF of RPattz. There's several running in jokes amongst the twats involving Tom, and lots of joking around about RPattz/TomStu slashing because the two guys apparently share clothing, and Tom tends to be photographed hovering around Robert protectively as he speaks to the media during red-carpet events (see video for examples. He is the bearded guy standing watch 39 seconds in and at 1.22 minutes. Tom also happens to be wearing the infamous green plaid shirt that he and Robert share.)

The Bring A Smile to Rob's face plan was for the twatlight member kristaynuh to wear this homemade shirt during the autograph signing session. The shirt is of two hearts with Tom Sturridge's face stuck right over the boob area with the words 'TomStu ♥s You' directly
beneath the pictures.

Wanna see how Rob reacted to seeing the face of his best friend over a random girl's bosom? Well, she posted a reaction vid of Rob to youtube, yo here yah go.

The general consensus within the Twatlight community was that she was awesome, and that what she'd done was totally in keeping with the community's lulzy attitude towards Twilight. But others do not agree! Some think that it was a majorly creepy move. Others claim that the twats have a double standard when it comes to mocking TwiHards, that to them it's okay for twats to pull stunts like these, but would find it creepy if it were the TwiMoms doing it. And still more claim that Twatlight has gone too srs bsness and has forgotten about its lulzy origins.

It's small wank right now, but haven't you missed Twilight wank lately?

Bonus Unrelated Thing: RPattz has been doing a lot of promo interviews lately, so he's been doing a lot of Stephenie Meyer slagging off. Like in this video, where he says: "I was convinced... that Stephenie was convinced... that she was Bella... and it was like a book that wasn't supposed to be published. And you're reading like, her sort of sexual fantasy. [...] I was like, This woman is mad. She's completely mad, and she's in love with her own fictional creation. And sometimes you'd like feel uncomfortable reading this thing. [...] It's kind of... like a sick pleasure."

And he says this kind of thing not once, but TWICE.




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(Post a new comment)


[info]teruhiko
2008-11-13 08:55 am UTC (link)
I feel so sorry for this guy. He obviously had no idea people were so insane about this series. He must be regretting his decision to take on that part so much... poor dude.

It was nice to try and cheer the dude up a bit but I still think the way they did it was kind of creepy. He may have laughed, but what else can someone do when someone approaches you wearing a tshirt with your best friend's face on it?

Can't anyone in fandom just, you know......... be normal. Say something reassuring rather than wear a bizarre fanmade tshirt??? I realise I may be asking too much here.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]ilya, 2008-11-13 08:56 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]vitalitat, 2008-11-13 09:02 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ilya, 2008-11-13 09:30 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]cricket, 2008-11-13 09:16 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ilya, 2008-11-13 09:31 am UTC
... - [info]cricket, 2008-11-13 10:30 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kookaburra, 2008-11-13 09:00 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]teruhiko, 2008-11-13 09:05 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dandywolves, 2008-11-13 07:45 pm UTC
... - [info]littlecloud, 2008-11-14 12:00 am UTC
... - [info]visp, 2008-11-16 07:38 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]trialia, 2008-12-03 08:13 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]queencallipygos, 2008-11-13 02:54 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ilya, 2008-11-13 02:56 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]teruhiko, 2008-11-13 03:50 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mechanicaljewel, 2008-11-13 05:29 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]singe, 2008-11-13 10:59 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]aerobot, 2008-11-14 04:43 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]miss_padfoot, 2008-11-14 06:03 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]trialia, 2008-12-03 08:15 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]_goblin_, 2008-11-13 03:46 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]teruhiko, 2008-11-13 03:48 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]_goblin_, 2008-11-13 04:10 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]darkbloom, 2008-11-13 04:59 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]teruhiko, 2008-11-13 07:24 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]lyrangalia, 2008-11-13 08:59 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]littlecloud, 2008-11-14 12:01 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]bobgenghiskhan, 2008-11-14 05:20 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]bandit, 2008-11-13 10:14 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]saintedsin, 2008-11-14 05:11 am UTC
(no subject) - chironstar, 2008-11-14 02:02 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ladyvorkosigan, 2008-11-15 09:42 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]theartema, 2008-12-30 07:57 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ilya, 2008-11-14 05:41 am UTC

[info]priscellie
2008-11-13 08:58 am UTC (link)
Every day, my approval of RPattz grows stronger.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]reeve, 2008-11-13 04:47 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]littlecloud, 2008-11-14 12:03 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]xylophone, 2008-11-14 12:51 am UTC
(no subject) - chironstar, 2008-11-14 02:00 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]napalmnacey, 2008-11-15 09:11 am UTC

[info]seraphtrevs
2008-11-13 09:03 am UTC (link)
I wonder if RPattz actually thinks they'll let him out of his contract if he's mean enough to Smeyer, or if he's just attempting to avenge his ravaged life.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]ilya, 2008-11-13 09:09 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]shadowmonkey, 2008-11-13 02:10 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]fools_game, 2008-11-13 09:12 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ilya, 2008-11-13 09:15 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rennyn_alerothi, 2008-11-13 09:23 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]wolfsamurai, 2008-11-13 10:27 am UTC
... - [info]dico, 2008-11-13 10:49 am UTC
... - [info]pipssister, 2008-11-13 05:23 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mcity, 2008-11-13 06:14 pm UTC
... - [info]lirazel, 2008-11-17 03:12 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]_goblin_, 2008-11-13 05:30 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]chibikaijuu, 2008-11-13 10:58 pm UTC
... - [info]_goblin_, 2008-11-13 11:42 pm UTC
... - [info]blancdoeufs, 2008-11-14 02:25 am UTC
... - [info]polarisnorth, 2008-11-14 09:38 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]vzg, 2008-11-13 02:06 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]shylu, 2008-11-13 04:52 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mariagoner, 2008-11-13 08:59 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]singe, 2008-11-13 11:11 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]kantayra, 2008-11-13 04:53 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]jat_sapphire, 2008-11-13 07:10 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]lyrangalia, 2008-11-13 08:36 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]tofuknight, 2008-11-13 08:52 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]persephonea, 2008-11-13 08:59 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]erinny, 2008-11-13 09:13 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]okalintu, 2008-11-13 09:38 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]palabradot, 2008-11-13 10:11 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]spudsey, 2008-11-13 10:14 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]singe, 2008-11-13 11:15 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]lilychan, 2008-11-14 04:58 am UTC
... - [info]singe, 2008-11-14 07:18 am UTC
... - [info]lilychan, 2008-11-15 03:29 am UTC
... - [info]singe, 2008-11-15 07:15 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]shmeiliarockie, 2008-11-15 02:16 am UTC
... - [info]singe, 2008-11-15 07:34 pm UTC
... - [info]shmeiliarockie, 2008-11-18 02:17 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]cyndra_falin, 2008-11-13 11:17 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]spawn_of_kong, 2008-11-13 11:30 pm UTC
(no subject) - tree, 2008-11-13 11:41 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]moonlitsiren, 2008-11-18 09:21 pm UTC
... - tree, 2008-11-18 10:04 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]deliciouschaos, 2008-11-14 12:27 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]seca, 2008-11-14 12:37 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]greenling, 2008-11-14 01:06 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]chlorhexidine, 2008-11-14 03:08 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]pandabonzai, 2008-11-14 03:48 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]aerobot, 2008-11-14 04:45 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lilychan, 2008-11-14 04:56 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]miss_padfoot, 2008-11-14 06:07 am UTC

[info]vejiicakes
2008-11-13 09:10 am UTC (link)
"I was convinced... that Stephenie was convinced... that she was Bella... and it was like a book that wasn't supposed to be published. And you're reading like, her sort of sexual fantasy. [...] I was like, This woman is mad. She's completely mad, and she's in love with her own fictional creation. And sometimes you'd like feel uncomfortable reading this thing. [...] It's kind of... like a sick pleasure."

Damn you RPattz, I blame my intention to attend the premiere of this fucking movie SQUARELY on you and the way that you shit all over the source material. THAT'S ON YOU.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]rennyn_alerothi, 2008-11-13 09:27 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]duraniedrama, 2008-11-13 03:01 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]rennyn_alerothi, 2008-11-14 02:18 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]miss_padfoot, 2008-11-14 06:08 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ladyvorkosigan, 2008-11-15 09:34 pm UTC
... - [info]antimatterspork, 2008-11-16 05:14 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mariagoner, 2008-11-13 10:09 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kayla, 2008-11-13 03:45 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]vejiicakes, 2008-11-13 05:17 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sharps, 2008-11-13 04:13 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ilya, 2008-11-13 04:15 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sharps, 2008-11-13 04:26 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]summerskin, 2008-11-14 12:36 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lakme, 2008-11-17 01:47 am UTC

[info]vitalitat
2008-11-13 09:26 am UTC (link)
His popularity reminds me of how popular Leonardo DiCaprio/Titanic was. But Leo wasn't signed up for 2 Titanic sequels. :S

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]frequentmouse, 2008-11-13 09:36 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]vitalitat, 2008-11-13 09:39 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]caito, 2008-11-13 10:19 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mochibuni, 2008-11-13 10:28 am UTC
... - [info]vitalitat, 2008-11-13 10:28 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]miss_eponine, 2008-11-13 04:12 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]pipssister, 2008-11-13 05:35 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]deludedvision, 2008-11-13 08:24 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]atom_bunny, 2008-11-14 12:47 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]aerobot, 2008-11-14 04:59 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]beejium, 2008-11-14 05:21 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mcity, 2008-11-13 06:15 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]rekall, 2008-11-13 07:52 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]vitalitat, 2008-11-13 08:27 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]keri, 2008-11-13 09:08 pm UTC
... - [info]vitalitat, 2008-11-13 09:11 pm UTC
... - [info]keri, 2008-11-13 09:41 pm UTC
... - [info]vitalitat, 2008-11-13 09:56 pm UTC
... - [info]sparkysrevenge, 2008-11-16 08:14 am UTC
... - [info]doomsday, 2008-11-13 09:15 pm UTC
... - [info]keri, 2008-11-13 09:46 pm UTC
... - [info]lapiratess, 2008-11-14 02:01 am UTC
... - [info]miss_padfoot, 2008-11-14 06:12 am UTC
... - [info]keri, 2008-11-14 06:23 am UTC
... - [info]evilsqueakers, 2008-11-14 07:23 am UTC
... - [info]vitalitat, 2008-11-14 07:13 am UTC
... - [info]seanchaigirl, 2008-11-13 09:52 pm UTC
... - [info]rekall, 2008-11-13 11:16 pm UTC
... - [info]littlecloud, 2008-11-14 12:14 am UTC
... - [info]aerobot, 2008-11-14 05:08 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]doomsday, 2008-11-13 09:09 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]lerefuge, 2008-11-14 07:00 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lakme, 2008-11-17 01:48 am UTC

[info]fools_game
2008-11-13 09:27 am UTC (link)
I like the chick in that second link who thinks Hot Topic should be liable for a class-action lawsuit.
Because, you know, not getting to see your pathetic teeny crush in the flesh is totally grounds for a lawsuit. Don't you know, if she'd seen him, he would have fallen in love with her and married her and changed his name to Edward? Thus, Hot Topic is totally liable for her missing out on her creepy, stalkerish desire to breathe his sweat or something.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]singe, 2008-11-13 11:34 pm UTC

[info]platedlizard
2008-11-13 09:29 am UTC (link)
As I said in the [info]fandom_lounge post I want to smuggle him off to a tropical island, safe from all the fangirls of the world. Poor guy, he thought he was just making a movie, but it turned out that good portion of the Twilight fandom are batshit insane.

He should be in a witness protection program or something.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]sithwitch13, 2008-11-13 04:45 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]msmanna, 2008-11-13 05:03 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]aerobot, 2008-11-14 05:04 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]_goblin_, 2008-11-14 06:26 am UTC
... - [info]visp, 2008-11-16 07:50 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]keri, 2008-11-13 09:09 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]dauntme, 2008-11-13 10:40 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]littlecloud, 2008-11-14 12:16 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dauntme, 2008-11-14 12:27 am UTC
... - [info]littlecloud, 2008-11-14 01:27 am UTC
... - [info]dauntme, 2008-11-14 02:11 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]keri, 2008-11-14 02:49 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]platedlizard, 2008-11-14 12:27 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dauntme, 2008-11-14 12:29 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]singe, 2008-11-13 11:41 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sparkysrevenge, 2008-11-16 08:19 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]singe, 2008-11-16 09:25 am UTC

[info]mariagoner
2008-11-13 09:32 am UTC (link)
Noooooooo! Accursed timing! I was so close to writing this up myself that I only aborted when I saw this entry was already up. ;_;

That said, fabulous job on organizing the masses and masses of info. And oh god, the look of complete and utter blank-eyed horror on the interviewer's face in that last video with RPattz will never fail to crack me up! The poor guy looks as though he's trying to watch someone defecate in front of him in the politest way possible. Jeebus, I hope they paid him enough for the job. XD

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]ilya, 2008-11-13 09:36 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mariagoner, 2008-11-13 09:50 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ilya, 2008-11-13 09:55 am UTC
... - [info]mariagoner, 2008-11-13 10:04 am UTC
... - [info]cygnia, 2008-11-13 05:19 pm UTC

[info]mornmeril
2008-11-13 09:54 am UTC (link)
You know, I always wondered about it, but this wank here made me write about it:
Did Smeyer's husband read all her books? If so, is he smart, understood what the point of them was (as in, self-admiration, sexual fantasies, an ideal man that does not exist etc.), or is he too stupid to get it?
I mean, if I had a spouse that was publishing sexual fantasies, I'd start to wonder... a damn lot, too.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]ilya, 2008-11-13 09:59 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mornmeril, 2008-11-13 10:07 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mariagoner, 2008-11-13 10:08 am UTC
... - [info]teaqueenie, 2008-11-13 03:29 pm UTC
... - [info]ilya, 2008-11-13 03:32 pm UTC
... - [info]cleolinda, 2008-11-13 05:06 pm UTC
... - [info]tofuknight, 2008-11-13 08:58 pm UTC
... - [info]erinny, 2008-11-13 09:15 pm UTC
... - [info]keri, 2008-11-13 09:49 pm UTC
... - [info]cleolinda, 2008-11-13 10:08 pm UTC
... - [info]sparklepuss, 2008-11-15 06:47 pm UTC
... - [info]sistercoyote, 2008-11-16 04:41 am UTC
... - [info]teaqueenie, 2008-11-15 04:55 pm UTC
... - [info]randomsome1, 2008-11-13 04:56 pm UTC
... - [info]salamandersam, 2008-11-13 08:42 pm UTC
... - [info]mariagoner, 2008-11-13 08:55 pm UTC
... - [info]_goblin_, 2008-11-13 09:38 pm UTC
... - [info]florence_craye, 2008-11-13 10:59 pm UTC
... - [info]kartos, 2008-11-14 07:30 am UTC
... - [info]sparklepuss, 2008-11-15 06:48 pm UTC
... - [info]randomsome1, 2008-11-13 10:32 pm UTC
... - [info]demonbean, 2008-11-14 12:02 am UTC
... - [info]baskinglizard, 2008-11-14 04:59 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]castellated, 2008-11-13 04:53 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mariagoner, 2008-11-13 08:56 pm UTC
... - [info]tofuknight, 2008-11-13 09:00 pm UTC
... - [info]cyndra_falin, 2008-11-14 12:42 am UTC
... - [info]bienegold, 2008-11-14 01:13 am UTC
... - [info]luthe, 2008-11-14 09:56 am UTC
... - [info]adawn, 2008-11-17 04:13 am UTC
... - [info]lirazel, 2008-11-17 04:58 pm UTC
... - [info]suzycat, 2008-11-16 04:22 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]vito_excalibur, 2008-11-14 02:43 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]_goblin_, 2008-11-14 06:30 am UTC
... - [info]vito_excalibur, 2008-11-14 07:01 am UTC
... - gentle_benj, 2008-11-14 11:27 pm UTC

[info]lykomancer
2008-11-13 10:00 am UTC (link)
Twilight trainwreck never stops. I love this shit.

...and right now, I really LOVE RPattz. His brutal honesty is delicious.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]mariagoner, 2008-11-13 10:06 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]daisymay79, 2008-11-13 10:35 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]khym_chanur, 2008-11-13 12:13 pm UTC
... - [info]singe, 2008-11-13 11:53 pm UTC
... - chironstar, 2008-11-14 02:08 pm UTC

[info]urpletastic
2008-11-13 10:22 am UTC (link)
Ummm, I don't know this guy but everybody's talking as if he had some kind of unbreakable contract that would ruin his life forever if he completed it, and frankly I don't believe any lawyer (even my cousin Vinnie!) would let a client enter into something that abysmal - and nor would the actors' union. Yes, it may cost him money, but if the product is as bad as everybody seems to think then there'll be ways to get out of the rest of the contract and I should imagine plenty of people who would hire him simply on the strength of his dumping something that turned out to be ... less than wonderful.

Mind you, I do like some of the creative suggestions for ways he might find to break the terms of his contract and slugging the author should ceratinly work.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]ilya, 2008-11-13 10:26 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mariagoner, 2008-11-13 11:25 am UTC
... - [info]miss_padfoot, 2008-11-14 06:16 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]vzg, 2008-11-13 02:10 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]urpletastic, 2008-11-14 09:31 am UTC
... - [info]vzg, 2008-11-14 01:51 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]_goblin_, 2008-11-13 04:51 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]edana_ni_emer, 2008-11-14 04:51 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lobsterbomb, 2008-11-13 05:54 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]agent_hyatt, 2008-11-13 08:25 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]kartos, 2008-11-14 07:34 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]innocentsmith, 2008-11-16 12:55 am UTC
... - [info]_goblin_, 2008-11-16 03:02 am UTC
... - [info]cleolinda, 2008-11-16 03:18 am UTC
... - [info]feenix, 2008-11-16 04:07 am UTC
... - [info]cleolinda, 2008-11-16 04:20 am UTC
... - [info]lakme, 2008-11-17 01:52 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]chibikaijuu, 2008-11-13 11:05 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]urpletastic, 2008-11-14 09:34 am UTC

[info]possi88
2008-11-13 10:32 am UTC (link)
SPN and Twilight wank in such a short time span? This week is shaping up to be awesome.

(Reply to this)


[info]dico
2008-11-13 10:39 am UTC (link)
Oh that's it, dial up or no dial up, I'm watching those interviews.

God did I miss me some Twilight wank.

(Reply to this)


[info]r_a_black
2008-11-13 10:50 am UTC (link)
Lulz, I love RPattz, I didn't think much of him before but then I saw his interviews where he'd say the most hilarious shit ever (and TRUE as well).

As for the Twats... eh, I dunno. I'm a member, but I don't participate much for many, many reasons. It's fun, yeah, but I do believe the double standards bit.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]salamandersam, 2008-11-13 08:44 pm UTC

[info]mariagoner
2008-11-13 10:54 am UTC (link)
Also, my god, the article from Vanity Fair on the Twilight movie was hilarious, especially since the writer (the absolutely irreplaceable James Wolcott) could barely contain his disdain over the books. Think RPattz in his interviews, only with ten-cent words.

http://www.vanityfair.com/culture/features/2008/12/twilight200812?currentPage=1

Here are a few choice excerpts:

A teenage “adult child” of divorce, Isabella Swan—everybody calls her Bella—migrates from the glassy sprawl of Phoenix, Arizona, to move in with her father, a police chief who watches a lot of sports on TV in lieu of having a personality.

Perhaps the most beautiful, fashion-modelly of the lunch bunch is Edward, Bella’s future and forever vampire lover, a high-cheekboned cross between Rudolf Nureyev and Chris Isaak in their princely prime, whose irises change color according to his moody moods (“Anger flashed in his tawny eyes”). Presumably flossing after every forest kill (ecologically correct, Edward feeds in the wild only on four-legged predators not on the endangered-species list), this immortal vial of pure mystique is a dental hygienist’s delight: “He smiled widely, flashing a set of perfect, ultrawhite teeth.” Which complement his perfect, ultra-white skin, Edward’s immaculate physique resembling an ice statue carved out of frozen milk by Michelangelo and irradiated with moonlight, putting nature itself in the shade: “The meadow, so spectacular to me at first, paled next to his magnificence.” Edward offers more than splendor in the grass. An ace driver and aerial gymnast, he also excels as a composer and pianist, emo’s answer to Chopin. “And then his fingers flowed swiftly across the ivory, and the room was filled with a composition so complex, so luxuriant, it was impossible to believe only one set of hands played.” No portrait in fine-fingered elegance (“Finished with the last bite of lasagna, I lifted a glass and chugged the remains of my milk”), Bella rues the disparity between his spectral aura and her clay form. “He looked like a god. I looked very average, even for a human, almost shamefully plain.” Yet Edward is captivated by Bella’s heavenly scent (“You smell so good in the rain”) and craves her company (“I crave your company”), his “cold, marble lips” intended only for her hot little pucker.

Meyer’s “Twilight Saga” is light on bloodsucking lore, heavy on high-school humdrum. “My fourth hour class got out late, and the lunch table I always sat at was full by the time I arrived. Mike was there, Jessica and Angela, Conner, Tyler, Eric and Lauren. Katie Marshall, the redheaded junior who lived around the corner from me, was sitting with Eric, and Austin Marks—older brother to the boy with the motorcycles—was next to her.” Glad we got those seating arrangements sorted out!

In “The Twilight Saga,” Edward is a superior entity given to frequent snickering (“He snickered, shaking his head”) and chuckling (“‘Kryptonite doesn’t bother me, either,’ he chuckled”). And who wants a snickering, chuckling vampire, no matter how poetically he drinks in the music of Debussy?

With friends like these, I don't envy Smeyer her enemies! And I cannot wait until reviews of the actual movie come out from people who don't need to compliment the film.

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(no subject) - [info]ilya, 2008-11-13 11:02 am UTC
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[info]cmikhailovic
2008-11-13 10:54 am UTC (link)
Normally, I'd be a bit skeeved about an actor talking that much shit about their project -- way to be professional, dude -- but RPattz is clearly SO horrified and desperate to save his sanity, and is so hilarious about it, that I can't bring myself to care.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]da_angel729, 2008-11-13 01:27 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]shadowmonkey, 2008-11-13 02:39 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ilya, 2008-11-13 02:43 pm UTC
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[info]ldymusyc
2008-11-13 11:01 am UTC (link)
Oh, god, normally RPattz' stoned face and total lack of ability to dress himself irritates the hell out of me, but I would gleefully adore seeing it EVERY TIME, as long as he continues to talk about the movies/books like this.

*munches popcorn*

(Reply to this)


[info]dico
2008-11-13 11:44 am UTC (link)
Okay, question for people who have read the books, there's something RPattz says in the final link that I'm wondering about.

"Some of the specific mannerisms and things in Edward's character are so ridiculously specific that it has to be someone's personal preference [...] I can't even think of an example now, but I mean so many things. Anyone who's read the book, there's some things which are not general perfect man gentlemanly things to do, just... odd little things that he does. [...] Like Rubbing his nose. Like, there's all, there's this whole big deal about how he rubbed his nose, it's so amazing.

And then he goes onto more of the "it's so uncomfortable reading this wtf" kind of talk and moves on. So, aside from the nose, what kind of ridiculously specific strange amazing gentleman I need moar adjectives! things are there?

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(no subject) - [info]cleolinda, 2008-11-13 05:11 pm UTC
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[info]orange
2008-11-13 12:15 pm UTC (link)
I love every time we think "wow, could RPattz have any less of a filter?", he comes out with something even more blatantly Twilight-bashing.

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(no subject) - [info]salamandersam, 2008-11-13 08:54 pm UTC
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[info]underwaterowl
2008-11-13 12:50 pm UTC (link)
As of watching the video, I'm now privately sure that he hates what he's doing, is stunned that he's in for the trilogy, and is actively doing his very best to get fired because his contract prevents him from quitting. Thus calling SMeyer mad, and whatnot.

It could be the 3AM conspiracy theory jitters just getting to me, but best luck in getting sacked, poor fluffy haired man!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]_goblin_, 2008-11-13 03:57 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]cleolinda, 2008-11-13 05:14 pm UTC
(no subject) - chironstar, 2008-11-14 02:12 pm UTC

[info]shadowmonkey
2008-11-13 02:25 pm UTC (link)
RPattz, I may never watch any role you play, but, sir, I salute you.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]cyndra_falin, 2008-11-14 02:25 am UTC

[info]firebad
2008-11-13 02:28 pm UTC (link)
Meanwhile, "marblepeen" is my new favourite word. Thank you, [info]ilya!

(Reply to this)


[info]rowsdower
2008-11-13 03:20 pm UTC (link)
I hate the Twilight books with an unworldly passion (I had to restrain myself from ripping a borrowed copy of the first book to shreds after I got about three chapters in), but I can't fucking wait for this movie. Not because I want to see it theaters. No way am I giving a damned cent to this franchise, let alone an $8 movie ticket. No, I'm giddy for this movie for one reason and one reason alone:

RiffTrax.

Mmmmmmm.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]dragonsong12, 2008-11-13 04:32 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]hurricane, 2008-11-13 05:55 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]empy, 2008-11-13 06:54 pm UTC
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[info]ayezur
2008-11-13 03:48 pm UTC (link)
The thing I want to know is, how does Meyer act around Pattz?

I will bet you a delicious fictional cookie she's tried to jump him in his trailer and that's what made him step it up to outright insulting her.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]ilya, 2008-11-13 03:54 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]lyrangalia, 2008-11-13 08:45 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]randomsome1, 2008-11-13 05:02 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ilya, 2008-11-13 05:06 pm UTC
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(no subject) - [info]das_mervin, 2008-11-13 07:40 pm UTC
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(no subject) - [info]lyrangalia, 2008-11-13 11:49 pm UTC

[info]dragonsong12
2008-11-13 04:37 pm UTC (link)
I'm having a hard time thinking of a comment on the whole T-shit/Hot Topic debacle because I'm still reeling from the hilarity of RPattz's comment.

We really need some kind of database of everything Twilight-related he's said, hours of entertainment there.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]turante, 2008-11-15 03:52 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]cleolinda, 2008-11-15 03:58 am UTC


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