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ari_o ([info]ari_o) wrote in [info]fandom_wank,
@ 2009-03-16 14:05:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:books that should be burned, doesn't mean what you think it means, i know it because of my learnings, internet lawyers, interrogating from the wrong perspective, isn't it awfully nice to have a penis, text interrogation: ur doin it wrong

Ye Olde Time Travelling Urinal Wanke
Dear Author is a genre book review blog and this Romance Novel review is hilarious all on its own. (Completely NWS excerpts are posted as part of the review.)

But some commenters get a little tetchy and accuse the reviewer of OMG HATING THE AUTHOR! It's fairly polite as wanks go. Then there are some faily arguments about whether or not the author is using racial caricatures or not. (note: that wasn't the funny part.)

Enter Stevie who tells everyone they are interpreting it all from the wrong perspective and their arguments wouldn't hold up in court. No really. And don't miss hir witty zingers there are near misses on both Godwin's and Snacky's laws which are tongue in cheek.

And yet Stevie refuses to see anyone's point about "gentleman's bathrooms".




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[info]pyratejenni
2009-03-16 09:30 pm UTC (link)
Author-wank, yay!

(Reply to this)


[info]phosfate
2009-03-16 09:35 pm UTC (link)
I don’t even know what century I’m in right now. And I don’t care. All I care about is getting Gorgeous Mystery Knight’s giant codpiece up my twat in a hurry.

Oh, honey, we've all been there.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]donna, 2009-03-16 10:50 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]lasultrix, 2009-03-17 02:26 am UTC

[info]shinga
2009-03-16 09:46 pm UTC (link)
OMG this is beautiful. Beautiful. Almost as beautiful as a mystery knight's codpiece God I hope it sparkles

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]ari_o, 2009-03-16 09:47 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]shinga, 2009-03-16 09:48 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ari_o, 2009-03-16 09:52 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]shinga, 2009-03-16 09:54 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ari_o, 2009-03-16 10:02 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]shinga, 2009-03-16 10:16 pm UTC
excerpt from Edward's diary (it has a cheap lock and is covered with unicorns) - [info]snarkhunter, 2009-03-18 01:48 am UTC
Re: excerpt from Edward's diary (it has a cheap lock and is covered with unicorns) - [info]ari_o, 2009-03-18 02:55 am UTC
This Is Just To Say - [info]thinkatory, 2009-03-23 06:50 am UTC
Re: This Is Just To Say - [info]ari_o, 2009-03-23 07:05 am UTC
Re: This Is Just To Say - [info]kaesa, 2009-03-23 08:42 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mornmeril, 2009-03-17 11:50 pm UTC

[info]the__ivorytower
2009-03-16 09:55 pm UTC (link)
You know, I'm writing for a contest, and all paranoid about wanting my story to be good... but maybe I shouldn't be, because if *that* is getting published...

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]aviatrix, 2009-03-17 12:51 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]the__ivorytower, 2009-03-17 12:56 am UTC

[info]barankhy
2009-03-16 09:59 pm UTC (link)
I think I can't pay attention to the wank because of that awful, awful writing.
...
lady-softness?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]ari_o, 2009-03-16 10:01 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]stele3, 2009-03-16 10:05 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]darkling, 2009-03-17 03:15 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]barankhy, 2009-03-16 10:05 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]persona, 2009-03-16 10:16 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]waltraute, 2009-03-16 11:39 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]singe, 2009-03-17 06:53 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]willywanka, 2009-03-16 11:46 pm UTC
Old joke, can't resist - [info]sequinedlizard, 2009-03-17 12:52 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]makeshyft, 2009-03-17 03:45 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]bienegold, 2009-03-17 05:21 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]spudsey, 2009-03-17 10:46 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ymfaery, 2009-03-17 10:05 pm UTC

[info]stele3
2009-03-16 10:12 pm UTC (link)
Oh man, I saw this making the rounds on my flist. I had to skip over the book excerpts, they were just too painful, but some of the comments are brill:

[excerpt]The walls of my vag vibrate and pulse at warp speed,[/excerpt]

Warp speed, Mr. Sulu!


and

I am now picturing the MC flapping the lips of her labia like wings and taking off. Like Dumbo. Only so, so much grosser.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]_goblin_, 2009-03-16 10:28 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]stele3, 2009-03-16 10:55 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]_goblin_, 2009-03-17 12:08 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]stele3, 2009-03-17 12:15 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]beckyh2112, 2009-03-17 12:36 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]miraba, 2009-03-17 12:56 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]_goblin_, 2009-03-17 02:04 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mercutia, 2009-03-18 05:26 am UTC

[info]minibalrogmum
2009-03-16 10:18 pm UTC (link)
“Your lady-softness told me herself when she was wrapped round my codpiece.”

Oh Odin, just what I need, an image in my head of a talking vagina.

On the brighter side, Cap'n Codpiece's comments cracked me the hell up.

(Reply to this)


[info]hilohello
2009-03-16 10:36 pm UTC (link)
Queeb!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]aliaras, 2009-03-16 10:47 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]barankhy, 2009-03-16 10:51 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]aliaras, 2009-03-16 10:56 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ari_o, 2009-03-16 11:05 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]risha, 2009-03-17 12:47 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]libelle, 2009-03-17 01:03 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]shutthef_up, 2009-03-18 07:54 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]magnolia_mama, 2009-03-17 02:55 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]shark, 2009-03-17 05:54 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]barankhy, 2009-03-17 04:53 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]brennalarose, 2009-03-17 06:27 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]magnolia_mama, 2009-03-17 02:54 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]napalmnacey, 2009-03-17 08:42 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]magnolia_mama, 2009-03-17 02:53 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]napalmnacey, 2009-03-17 03:06 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]folledesmots, 2009-03-18 07:09 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]kenovay, 2009-03-19 03:40 pm UTC

[info]passerby
2009-03-16 10:37 pm UTC (link)
Well, the giggles I just let off sounded vaguely Mr. Bean-ish. Buckets of happy juice. Indeed!

(Reply to this)


[info]evilsqueakers
2009-03-16 10:42 pm UTC (link)
Oh, god. I laughed far too hard at this review. Far, far too hard. That was ghastly writing. I might prefer Meyers. Damn it, there goes the eye twitch again.

I can't. Queeb. This is not a word, damn it. But the funniest word I've ever heard to describe something.

I'm tempted to buy the book now.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]donna, 2009-03-16 10:53 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]evilsqueakers, 2009-03-16 10:59 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]donna, 2009-03-16 11:22 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]evilsqueakers, 2009-03-16 11:29 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]donna, 2009-03-16 11:43 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]evilsqueakers, 2009-03-16 11:46 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]libelle, 2009-03-17 01:09 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]evilsqueakers, 2009-03-17 01:22 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]miss_padfoot, 2009-03-18 10:54 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]napalmnacey, 2009-03-17 08:49 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]barankhy, 2009-03-16 11:01 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]donna, 2009-03-16 11:28 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]breecita, 2009-03-16 11:56 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]magnolia_mama, 2009-03-17 02:58 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]evilsqueakers, 2009-03-17 03:02 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]magnolia_mama, 2009-03-17 03:09 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]evilsqueakers, 2009-03-17 03:12 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ari_o, 2009-03-17 04:03 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]evilsqueakers, 2009-03-17 04:06 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ari_o, 2009-03-17 04:10 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]evilsqueakers, 2009-03-17 04:19 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]made_by_kali, 2009-03-17 07:17 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]donna, 2009-03-17 08:39 am UTC

[info]breecita
2009-03-16 10:51 pm UTC (link)
It's way more fun if you caught the author last year when she arrived on the scene to tell everyone that this new publisher was like, totally going to edjumacate the pr0n reading masses on how they hadn't seen really good erotica yet.

And she showed us, didn't she?

(Ladysoftness/Codpiece OTP)

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]ari_o, 2009-03-16 11:08 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]breecita, 2009-03-16 11:11 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]threegoldfish, 2009-03-17 05:29 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]singe, 2009-03-17 07:01 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]hallidae, 2009-03-17 07:18 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]derryderrydown, 2009-03-17 02:01 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]napalmnacey, 2009-03-17 08:51 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]jupiterpluvius, 2009-03-18 02:36 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]napalmnacey, 2009-03-18 02:58 am UTC

[info]panthea
2009-03-16 11:32 pm UTC (link)
Favorite comment so far:

"I think I’m going to check this out because I don’t think I’ve ever read about a time travelling medieval pimp that doesn’t charge."

I like the way she thinks.

(Reply to this)


[info]pariforma
2009-03-16 11:42 pm UTC (link)
o_O

That is all.

(Reply to this)


[info]fishies
2009-03-16 11:44 pm UTC (link)
I’ve got ladyfingers stuck up both ends. And I’m loving it.

*cues McDonald's jingle*

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]willywanka, 2009-03-16 11:47 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ari_o, 2009-03-17 12:03 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]trinity_destler, 2009-03-17 12:06 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]_goblin_, 2009-03-17 12:16 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rustybitch, 2009-03-20 02:17 pm UTC

[info]gmth
2009-03-16 11:47 pm UTC (link)
Every time I read that review, I get stuck right here:

...my cunt makes a disappointed queeb sound as we separate.

A DISAPPOINTED QUEEB SOUND.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]willywanka, 2009-03-16 11:54 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]souris, 2009-03-17 01:30 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]isiscolo, 2009-03-18 03:52 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]hilohello, 2009-03-16 11:55 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]_goblin_, 2009-03-17 12:18 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]bigbigtruck, 2009-03-17 01:10 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ecchaniz0r, 2009-03-17 01:27 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]queencallipygos, 2009-03-24 07:52 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]poisonyoulove, 2009-03-17 02:56 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]some_dude, 2009-03-17 05:15 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]_goblin_, 2009-03-17 06:23 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kookaburra, 2009-03-17 06:45 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]isntitironic, 2009-03-17 09:53 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]arby_m, 2009-03-18 09:37 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mornmeril, 2009-03-18 12:03 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]radiotrash, 2009-03-17 06:44 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]hallidae, 2009-03-17 07:21 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sunhawk, 2009-03-17 07:19 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]frau_eva, 2009-03-19 06:25 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]vzg, 2009-03-21 10:11 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]baskinglizard, 2009-03-22 06:19 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gmth, 2009-03-22 06:22 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]baskinglizard, 2009-03-22 06:22 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]baskinglizard, 2009-03-22 06:31 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gmth, 2009-03-22 06:32 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]baskinglizard, 2009-03-22 06:33 am UTC

[info]lady_jafaria
2009-03-16 11:54 pm UTC (link)
If this is the kind of wanking people are doing, your porn has failed.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]jkefka, 2009-03-17 04:28 am UTC

[info]eldritch
2009-03-16 11:56 pm UTC (link)
I was linked to that article a few days ago, and seeing it appear here in wank is like the icing on a monstrously-codpieced cake.

(Reply to this)


[info]kijikun
2009-03-16 11:58 pm UTC (link)
And I’m definitely not someone who needs her heroes to be billionaire industrialists..

Okay romance writers, if you can write thinly veiled Highlander fic and get it published, then you can certain give me published Iron Man smut right?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]breecita, 2009-03-17 12:01 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kijikun, 2009-03-17 12:03 am UTC
(no subject) - janegray, 2009-03-17 01:12 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dragonfangirl, 2009-03-17 09:14 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]imp, 2009-03-17 12:13 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ymfaery, 2009-03-17 10:11 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]kijikun, 2009-03-17 10:17 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ymfaery, 2009-03-17 10:25 pm UTC
Ooops, forgot a few things. - [info]ymfaery, 2009-03-17 10:27 pm UTC
Re: Ooops, forgot a few things. - [info]greenygal, 2009-03-18 06:29 am UTC
Re: Ooops, forgot a few things. - [info]ymfaery, 2009-03-18 10:04 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nyoda, 2009-03-27 07:13 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]brown_betty, 2009-03-21 09:04 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]vzg, 2009-03-21 10:12 pm UTC

[info]hallidae
2009-03-16 11:59 pm UTC (link)
-when I spin myself around and around on his cock like a top-

::mental record needle screech:: WHAT?! Wow, there was a mental image I didn't need.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]breecita, 2009-03-17 12:02 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]hallidae, 2009-03-17 12:09 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]tofuknight, 2009-03-17 03:30 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]hallidae, 2009-03-17 05:37 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]isa, 2009-03-17 06:14 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]evilsqueakers, 2009-03-17 01:24 am UTC
(no subject) - pastri_archy, 2009-03-17 06:11 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]napalmnacey, 2009-03-17 08:54 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kosaginolegion, 2009-03-17 10:39 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]empressfunk, 2009-03-19 05:13 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kosaginolegion, 2009-03-19 05:26 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]_goblin_, 2009-03-17 12:25 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sarracenia, 2009-03-17 12:39 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]_goblin_, 2009-03-17 01:57 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]danceswithelvis, 2009-03-17 03:02 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]trisandrockets, 2009-03-17 09:12 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]altoidsaddict, 2009-03-23 05:04 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ari_o, 2009-03-23 05:38 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]_goblin_, 2009-03-23 06:23 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ecchaniz0r, 2009-03-17 01:28 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sudaki, 2009-03-17 04:24 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]louifee, 2009-03-17 10:32 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]vzg, 2009-03-21 10:15 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mindset, 2009-03-17 07:38 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]stele3, 2009-03-17 10:27 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]stele3, 2009-03-17 10:27 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]miss_padfoot, 2009-03-18 11:01 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]empressfunk, 2009-03-19 05:18 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]frau_eva, 2009-03-19 06:28 pm UTC

[info]sarracenia
2009-03-17 12:39 am UTC (link)
....I actually want to read this book. It sounds hilarious.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]vitalitat, 2009-03-17 12:58 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mochibuni, 2009-03-17 01:48 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]judyhazeleyes, 2009-03-17 04:11 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]honorh, 2009-03-17 06:20 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]frau_eva, 2009-03-19 06:31 pm UTC

[info]vitalitat
2009-03-17 01:06 am UTC (link)

THAT BOOK DESERVES A PULITZER.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]_goblin_, 2009-03-17 02:01 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ari_o, 2009-03-17 02:04 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]bobafeis, 2009-03-17 02:40 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]_goblin_, 2009-03-17 02:56 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]bobafeis, 2009-03-17 03:06 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]_goblin_, 2009-03-17 03:11 am UTC

[info]angstymcgoth
2009-03-17 01:26 am UTC (link)
Soooo...this was written by a woman, right?

...can we check?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]tiki, 2009-03-17 05:55 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rganymede, 2009-03-18 02:24 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]stopthatgirl7, 2009-03-20 02:56 pm UTC

[info]sevendeadlyfun
2009-03-17 01:46 am UTC (link)
You know what word should never ever be part of porn? Vag. It's just not porny. It almost has a vague yeast infection connotation. This is not good porn, people! I should not be worried about whether your ladysoftness has some form of rot. Not while reading porn.


It's just not right.*Comforts self with beautiful Donna boobies*

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]ari_o, 2009-03-17 02:03 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sevendeadlyfun, 2009-03-17 03:04 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ari_o, 2009-03-17 04:08 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sevendeadlyfun, 2009-03-17 05:32 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ari_o, 2009-03-17 05:35 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]stele3, 2009-03-17 10:33 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ari_o, 2009-03-17 06:48 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]stele3, 2009-03-17 08:08 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]beejium, 2009-03-18 01:14 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ari_o, 2009-03-18 02:58 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mercutia, 2009-03-18 07:11 am UTC

[info]dhole
2009-03-17 02:13 am UTC (link)
Here's what's getting me. "Codpiece" doesn't mean penis. It's an article of clothing that men wore over their crotch. Someone with an enormous codpiece is someone who has a really large pretend penis that's part of their costume.

Also, it doesn't work as slang for a penis, because "cod" means scrotum. I'm not necessarily up on what women find attractive in men, but is a large scrotum really one of those things?

And, and, the story is set in the 12th century, apparently, when they hadn't even invented codpieces yet, because men's hemlines weren't high enough to justify them, and I . . . I'm sorry. It seems my brain is malfunctioning. For some reason.

Queeb.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]danceswithelvis, 2009-03-17 03:04 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]bobafeis, 2009-03-17 03:21 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]makeshyft, 2009-03-17 03:35 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mercutia, 2009-03-18 07:09 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rodo, 2009-03-17 05:26 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ari_o, 2009-03-17 05:38 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]somnambulicious, 2009-03-19 06:16 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]evilsqueakers, 2009-03-17 08:05 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]moosecharmer, 2009-03-19 12:28 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]frau_eva, 2009-03-19 06:36 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]brown_betty, 2009-03-21 09:10 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]vzg, 2009-03-21 10:18 pm UTC

[info]msilverstar
2009-03-17 02:58 am UTC (link)
OH JOHN RINGO NO!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]crysiana, 2009-03-17 03:19 am UTC


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