Someone criticizing your fic on your personal journal? Call a mod!
Here's a very small but absolutely delightful fic wank courtesy of the mousies of wank_report. I will say now that, to the best of my knowledge, all involved are 18+, though not all of them had ages posted so I can't be sure.

ravenette2506 is am member of the small Alex Rider fandom (Alex Rider is apparently some teen spy book series I'd never heard of, but the wank is good anyways) and the yassen_alex community. She posts a fic of this pairing in her personal journal. frayer shows up to give some constructive criticism (or "concrit," apparently? You kids and your crazy portmanteaus). To paraphrase: "your fandom tends to do a lot worse but this isn't bad, oh and this line bugged me." A little harsh, perhaps, but not overly nasty. But it's on a personal journal, right? If the author objects they can just deal, delete, screen, whatever.

Or not.


revenette2506 throws up the Mod Signal to deal with the big meanie! abrandnewboom rides to the rescue from the yassen_alex comm to vanquish evil with passive aggressive smilies and ~*~sarcasm~*~! A small herd of teal deer rampage across the landscape, and vanish as quickly as they appeared!

The Dramatic Showdown!

SuperMod:Don't be mean to my fandom! You'll scare the children new writers! :)

Nefarious Dr. ConCrit: I'm not trying to scare...Hold on, SuperMod, I'm not in your comm! Easy on the power trip there!

SuperMod: We care about our members. Contribute to the fandom or STFU! :)

Nefarious Dr. ConCrit: Maybe we should just discuss this over e-mail, but I'll tell you why my criticism is good for your writers! At length!

SuperMod: "I'm sure we won't need to continue this via email. :)" Be nicer or I will punish you! Feel my ~~TILDES OF SARCASM~~!

Nefarious Dr. ConCrit: Now I'm supposed to be nicer?

Boy Fapper: I'll help you protect our tiny, tiny fandom, SuperMod! Not to gang up on you, but keep your your insulting negativity to yourself, evildoer!

Nefarious Dr. ConCrit: Ok, you are totally ganging up on me now. They asked for crit[icism?]!

Damsel in DistressJournal Owner: Of course I called SuperMod! We're a tiny fandom and our delicate fics need protecting from your meanness! Bye.

~*~FIN~*~


ETA: Bahleetion! Luckily, harumph has provided a cap for your entertainment. Also whoever linked them here is FAIL.

ETA deuce: OH NOES TEH HAXORS

ETA god my poor thesis: More cappage courtesy of _goblin_! And may I repeat: mousie who trolled the wank, you are a failure among failures. (Now with the original "concrit" courtesy of killer_gopher and sisterelwood)(AND MORE!)

ETA FOR FUCK'S SAKE IT'S ONLY BEEN LIKE TEN MINUTES SINCE THE LAST ONE: Not content to rank among the mousies, SuperMod has appeared to slaughter us all with his/her/its passive-aggressive smilies! :)

ETA of genuine interest: This shit's getting weird. OK, so, we had bahleetion, then some helpful mouse showed up with a link to a cap which turned out to be capped by Yaseanne and was promptly deleted. The twist?

The "helpful mouse's" IP

abrandnewboom's IP

Yaseanne's IP

So...either these two are in collusion to both keep the wank alive and try to act all superior about it being trolled or we've got some crazy-ass sockpuppetry and IP hiding going on. Yeah. I don't even fucking know.

ETA FTW: And this, ladies and gentlemen, is good modding. *salutes*