Some tasty Red Dwarf wank (with extra actor!wank sauce)
This is still fairly contained at the moment, but I anticipate much wankiness shall blossom as time passes...

As I'm sure most geeks and people with televisions living in the UK know, UK satellite channel Dave recently aired 3 new episodes of sci-fi sitcom Red Dwarf, which has not seen the light of day since about oh 1999 or 2000 if I'm not mistaken.

Fans cheer, all is happy in Red Dwarf town

Except in the corner inhabited by former "Holly" actor Norman Lovett, who is apparently rather pissed off about not being invited to the tea party. Blogs were posted trashing the new specials and his former coworkers, and subsequently deleted (anybody who has screencaps of these shall receive internet cookies) on his myspace page and several comments are passed around between Norman and his myspace pals, including this gem on Martin Curran's page in response to Curran's asking as to what happened to his disappearing blogs:

Apr 9 2009 4:12 PM

I put up info that I didn't mean to because it's for my autobiog which I'm working on at the moment. I can let you know that I will not be working with RD/GrantNaylor again as I have been treated appallingly by them over the years and there comes a time when it has to end.
Cheers, Norman

And of course the fans have to get in on the action on the official website forum, trotting out such insults as "miserable, bitter, old bastard" and that he's always been a "moaning git", and surprisingly few of them coming to defend someone they apparently liked just a week or two ago. Speculation that this is all just hype to sell his new upcoming bare-all book is mentioned.

It's a tiny wank as of yet but if speculation that Dave will be ordering a full new series of Red Dwarf bears out, and when that book hits the shelves, I suspect a delightful three-ring circus act on behalf of the happy little Red Dwarf fandom. I shall be making popcorn if anybody wants any.

ETA: The forum thread (including a previous wanky thread) has supposed excerpts copied from his deleted blogs, if anybody's interested,

I will not be involved in the new Red Dwarf programmes on the Dave channel. A pathetic little email arrived today to let me know that due to budget I would not be appearing. I dread to think about the size of the budget because I've never been paid much to appear in Red Dwarf anyway.

I am a little sad because I've been saying over the last couple of years that I am the perfect age to play Holly now. (I was 41 when I first played him). I am more angry really because I was given dates to put in my diary before Christmas but what's new with GrantNaylor in charge.

If you want to make me very happy please go to my website and buy a copy of my new stand-up comedy DVD 'Bags & Biscuits"

Happy New Year and Best Wishes,

Norman


And:

So far there have been 3 reasons in the press why there is no Holly in these programmes that are being shown over Easter on the Dave channel. 1 No budget 2 Didn't want the crew dragging a computer around with them on earth 3 A water leak caused a short circuit and caused the computer to break down.


This gives you an idea of what the people who make Red Dwarf (GrantNaylor) are like and you will be able to read all about them and the cast in my auto biography which I am working on as I speak. I watched Chris, Robert and Danny on BBC Breakfast News this morning. Talk about laughs take a holiday.


I will be watching the shows but I really don't see how it will be any good because it's not shot in front of a studio audience and they're not trapped on board Red Dwarf which was it's main strength when it was character comedy.

Everything is done by one man (Naylor) and he can't do everything well. Bring back Grant and get a good director (Bye) and it might have stood a chance. And Holly with some good gags of course.


Not one of the cast have got in touch with me which just shows how self centred they are. I'm not bitter just unhappy about the way I have been treated by them. By the way GrantNaylor you still owe me money for the Red Dwarf movie rehearsals.


Happy Easter everyone, Norman