Wank: The Final Frontier
As those of you who haven't been living under a rock may know, a new Star Trek movie just came out. Over on fanficrants, roq is upset about this. Apparently, TEENAGERS are now WRITING in HER fandom! Quelle suprise!

She has some choice words to say about it.



The highlights of the rant include:

Star Trek is the second oldest fandom in existence...

Because of this, I honestly don't think you can bring a new idea to the fandom. We've seen it all before, really...So that extraspiffy idea you have? We've probably seen it. What this means is that you'll need more than a gimick to keep our attention. You will need to write well. I'm not asking for Tolstoy but basic sentence structure is nice and maybe a plot or at least good characterization.

There's no such thing as an original idea? She must be right, because even that idea sounds familiar...

Two. Do not talk to me about cannon. Do not come over to my happy little ship and whine that K/S is not cannon because Spock and Uhura have a relationship. You may not be familiar with Trekkies. We are not like the Harry Potter fandom.

Guys, I think we've been told. I dunno why we're talking to her about armoury, but w/e. We are not ALLOWEd to write fanfiction within her ship unless we pass STRINGENT STANDARDS.

Also? K/S has never been cannon and probably never will. You know what? We don't care. It's fanfiction. We're changing the world just enough that K/S happens. That's it. If you have a problem with it, don't fucking read it. Go over to S/U and be happy.

The rant goes on in this vein for a while. And then there's the comments.

At first the comments at the community are overwhelmingly supportive and generally non-combative.

But then someone's fannish entitlement alarm goes off, and the shit hits the fan:

kuromitsu starts: Remember, children, this fandom has been around since before you were born. You must follow all of its ancient conventions, must strive to gain the respect of older members, and most importantly you must. not. have. fun with it your own way lest the older fans not like it.

Fandom = serious business, damn it! God forbid you enjoy yourself!

helen_damnation responds: Thank you. I was starting to think I was the only person annoyed by all the "thou shalt not"s.

I haven't seen the movie yet, though I intend to. I don't intend to watch the series. Know why? Because I don't want to. I want to watch the movie. I might write fic for the movie, I don't know yet. That's my right. I'm also very fond of portmanteaus. That's also my right.

Take your own advice and get over it.

It's all downhill from there.

Some choice bits include a "DAMN KIDS GET OFF MY LAWN!" quote, some accusations that the Star Trek fandom is the angriest and wankiest of all fandoms, some people pointing out how canon is spelt, an indignant Harry Potter fan, and a question on apropriate newbie etiquette.

And it's still going.

This one looks GOOD. I think I've already made Bingo.

ETA: Collateral damage wank on ffrantsrants located here.

Also, links are corrected now. Server is being robust, though, so steady on, folks.

ETA2: roq bites back. Apparently he is a he.

Also:

So, according to the people over at fanfic rants, I'm an arrogant, condescending, hypocritical asshole with a stick up my ass.

Good to know.

Wow, you'd think I wasn't dealing with a rant community or something. Oh, wait.

RANTING COMMUNITIES ARE FOR RANTING! Also, I've forgotten to assume that everyone on the internet has a penis. My inability to remain stuck in the early 90's means that I don't understand a lot of what roq says.