Entry tags:

baleetion, bannination, community: fanficrants, dead gay headmaster, fandom: star trek, fanfic, isn't it awfully nice to have a penis, misogyny soup, outraged mice, penis, persecution, plucky girl detective, pseuicide, rape is not funny, sci-fi people like to fight, sexism, social experiment, troll, wankers who will not shut up, wanking inside the house, you're all assholes

Wank: The Final Frontier
As those of you who haven't been living under a rock may know, a new Star Trek movie just came out. Over on fanficrants, roq is upset about this. Apparently, TEENAGERS are now WRITING in HER fandom! Quelle suprise!

She has some choice words to say about it.

The highlights of the rant include:

Star Trek is the second oldest fandom in existence...

Because of this, I honestly don't think you can bring a new idea to the fandom. We've seen it all before, really...So that extraspiffy idea you have? We've probably seen it. What this means is that you'll need more than a gimick to keep our attention. You will need to write well. I'm not asking for Tolstoy but basic sentence structure is nice and maybe a plot or at least good characterization.

There's no such thing as an original idea? She must be right, because even that idea sounds familiar...

Two. Do not talk to me about cannon. Do not come over to my happy little ship and whine that K/S is not cannon because Spock and Uhura have a relationship. You may not be familiar with Trekkies. We are not like the Harry Potter fandom.

Guys, I think we've been told. I dunno why we're talking to her about armoury, but w/e. We are not ALLOWEd to write fanfiction within her ship unless we pass STRINGENT STANDARDS.

Also? K/S has never been cannon and probably never will. You know what? We don't care. It's fanfiction. We're changing the world just enough that K/S happens. That's it. If you have a problem with it, don't fucking read it. Go over to S/U and be happy.

The rant goes on in this vein for a while. And then there's the comments.

At first the comments at the community are overwhelmingly supportive and generally non-combative.

But then someone's fannish entitlement alarm goes off, and the shit hits the fan:

kuromitsu starts: Remember, children, this fandom has been around since before you were born. You must follow all of its ancient conventions, must strive to gain the respect of older members, and most importantly you must. not. have. fun with it your own way lest the older fans not like it.

Fandom = serious business, damn it! God forbid you enjoy yourself!

helen_damnation responds: Thank you. I was starting to think I was the only person annoyed by all the "thou shalt not"s.

I haven't seen the movie yet, though I intend to. I don't intend to watch the series. Know why? Because I don't want to. I want to watch the movie. I might write fic for the movie, I don't know yet. That's my right. I'm also very fond of portmanteaus. That's also my right.

Take your own advice and get over it.

It's all downhill from there.

Some choice bits include a "DAMN KIDS GET OFF MY LAWN!" quote, some accusations that the Star Trek fandom is the angriest and wankiest of all fandoms, some people pointing out how canon is spelt, an indignant Harry Potter fan, and a question on apropriate newbie etiquette.

And it's still going.

This one looks GOOD. I think I've already made Bingo.

ETA: Collateral damage wank on ffrantsrants located here.

Also, links are corrected now. Server is being robust, though, so steady on, folks.

ETA2: roq bites back. Apparently he is a he.

Also:

So, according to the people over at fanfic rants, I'm an arrogant, condescending, hypocritical asshole with a stick up my ass.

Good to know.

Wow, you'd think I wasn't dealing with a rant community or something. Oh, wait.

RANTING COMMUNITIES ARE FOR RANTING! Also, I've forgotten to assume that everyone on the internet has a penis. My inability to remain stuck in the early 90's means that I don't understand a lot of what roq says.

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Re: Let's break this down logically - part 2
(Anonymous)
2009-05-19 04:37 pm UTC (link)

You have your information now, and true to form, the mocking of the dead has already begun. As soon as he was identified his death was reduced to a South Park gag because his name was Ken. Just as I predicted.

I never should have come here. I thought I could make you pause and think about how you treat others if I told you what happened, but it's obvious that won't happen.

I won't bother you anymore.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: Let's break this down logically - part 2 isntitironic 2009-05-19 04:45 pm UTC (link)
	Oooh! Oooh! This is just like that one episode where the evil disco ball alien tried to pit the Enterprise and the Klingons against each other! To get rid of it, all they had to do was laugh at it! (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: Let's break this down logically - part 2 serai 2009-05-19 11:50 pm UTC (link)
	If there is such an episode, I MUST HAVE OMAGWTFBBQ!!!11!!! Got a title? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: Let's break this down logically - part 2 isntitironic 2009-05-20 01:17 am UTC (link)
	Day of the Dove. There are swordfights. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: Let's break this down logically - part 2 serai 2009-05-21 10:29 am UTC (link)
	Oh holy shit, I knew that. I CAN'T BELIEVE I FORGOT THAT EPISODE That's where Michael Ansara plays a super-sexy Klingon captain who has a hardon for Kirk but sublimates it because his wife is a nag and won't let him out of her site! (Reply to this)(Parent)

	Re: Let's break this down logically - part 2 faultypremise 2009-05-19 05:07 pm UTC (link)
	There's only mocking because no one believes you. We've seen plenty of psueicides here before, this is nothing new and you're being disingenuous if you think you're at all being sincere enough to fool anyone. You've also said you were leaving, and have not done so yet. Which is further psychological evidence that your story is simply not plausible or believable. (Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Let's break this down logically - part 2
(Anonymous)
2009-05-19 05:09 pm UTC (link)

If you predicted it then why would you have mentioned it? Considering this site tries to stay away from any real life identifiers for the sake of at least preserving anonymity in some form, why would mentioning his name benefit the conversation.

Which is not a conversation, but a lecture directed at the viewers of this site about how immoral our actions are and what terrible people we must be.

Even if your story is legitimate, this is a no-win situation and some pretty blatant (and successful) trolling.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

	Re: Let's break this down logically - part 2 (Anonymous) 2009-05-19 05:13 pm UTC (link)
	I never should have come here. You really should not have. (Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Let's break this down logically - part 2

duraniedrama
2009-05-19 05:40 pm UTC (link)

We don't have our information now. We have a first name and a screenname, but we still don't have any clear evidence that the man is indeed dead by his own hand, or is just playing a game of "goodbye, cruel internets."

Fandom Wank generally assumes fake until proven real. The whole 'bus ad' incident with Moonlight was a classic example of that--it wasn't until multiple photographs and eyewitness accounts were posted that people conceded that, yes, such advertisements had in fact been printed on actual buses.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

	Re: Let's break this down logically - part 2 nevadafighter 2009-05-19 05:43 pm UTC (link)
	Boo fucking hoo hoo. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: Let's break this down logically - part 2 (Anonymous) 2009-05-19 06:23 pm UTC (link)
	We get the idea. No need to repost the same comment on every thread. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: Let's break this down logically - part 2 nevadafighter 2009-05-19 09:53 pm UTC (link)
	Hey, I'll have my fun any damn way I want. (Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Let's break this down logically - part 2

cyndra_falin
2009-05-19 11:41 pm UTC (link)

I thought I could make you pause and think about how you treat others if I told you what happened, but it's obvious that won't happen

Who do you think you are? You're no one special and you're not this special being of power that has come down from on high, to teach us lowly folks a lesson in anything. Nice try, though.

You have your information now

Uh, no. We don't. You've offered little to nothing in doing what you're trying to do.

I never should have come here.

This is the only thing we can all agree on.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Let's break this down logically - part 2

sisterelwood
2009-05-20 04:20 am UTC (link)

Shut up. You're using suicide to further your own agenda. You're using the pain and suffering of real suicide victims to try and guilt trip people. You're pathetic. And I'll just come out and say this as well-

If you are telling the truth then you're dishonoring the memory of your friend and the feelings of his family. You need help. Those left behind by suicide are not to blame for someone taking their own life. You're making a joke of the suffering that suicide causes even if you don't mean to. Get help and talk things out. You're not to blame for this but neither are we. Your friend made a choice.

This is all accepting what you're saying as truth and I very much doubt that any of it is. If you're lying then I pray you will never have to deal with the aftermath of suicide. It is not something I wish on anyone. However, that won't stop me from telling you to go get fucked sideways with a rusty chainsaw.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(reposted because i fail)

staroverthebay
2009-05-20 07:01 pm UTC (link)

Those left behind by suicide are not to blame for someone taking their own life.
THIS. Right here. SO MUCH this. It pisses me off when people try to blame everyone else for a suicide, when sometimes there isn't much that could have been done. A person who is so depressed that they're suicidal is not always receptive to therapy -- sometimes they refuse any help, and you can't force them if they won't accept the help.

go get fucked sideways with a rusty chainsaw
Dear god, what a mental image. That is much win right there.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

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