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The Mad Bishounen ([info]jkefka) wrote in [info]fandom_wank,
@ 2009-06-17 16:09:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:ruining your childhood

Millions of tiny fists of fanboy rage!
Here's a fandom of mine that's absolutely huge but I've never seen on F_W: Magic, The Gathering. The CCG. That silly little card game that nerds from the ages of ten to ninety thrown their life savings at for no apparent reason.

So why am I bringing this silly thing to F_W now? Well, for the first time in about eight years (I think), they're doing a major rules change. By "major rules change" I actually mean they're altering a few mechanics that most players don't even KNOW about, but are important to certain pedantic asshats serious players. If you know magic at all, the changes have to do with how combat damage works, how blocking works, and the elimination of manaburn. If you don't play magic, just pretend the previous sentence was "Alan Rickman is hot."

But a rules change is a rules change, and you can't change the rules on a bunch of pedantic self-important card game players without causing some wank, right? So I dug up a little fanboy rage for your amusement:

Eighty-two pages worth to be precise. Then it started threatening their forum space limit, so they moved it to another thread which is currently pushing 40 pages.

Common refrains include "I'll never play MTG again!" and "You're making the game better for those idiot beginners while alienating your real fans!" Enjoy y'all.




Page 1 of 2
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(Post a new comment)


[info]notarose
2009-06-18 02:59 am UTC (link)
There's now a third thread and a fourth thread.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]notarose, 2009-06-18 03:03 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]jkefka, 2009-06-18 03:07 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sablemouse, 2009-06-18 04:15 am UTC

[info]the__ivorytower
2009-06-18 03:02 am UTC (link)
MAGIC WANK. JOY.

Even though I haven't played in years, and never got into Type 2.

Icon appropriate! :D

(Reply to this)


[info]madam_marozi
2009-06-18 03:06 am UTC (link)
this is no longer the game that my cousin taught me to play so long ago

I don't know why, as a sincere expression of grief, that made me LOL so hard, but it did. I'm sorry, fanboys.

This also cracked me up:

I'm writing this without reading others' comments to give a naive view.


(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]sablemouse, 2009-06-18 03:34 am UTC

[info]khym_chanur
2009-06-18 03:08 am UTC (link)
If you don't play magic, just pretend the previous sentence was "Alan Rickman is hot."

Magic the Gathering killed Snarry?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]urpletastic, 2009-06-18 08:26 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]telesilla, 2009-06-18 08:29 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]moongazingfae, 2009-06-18 02:02 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]havocthecat, 2009-06-18 05:26 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]moongazingfae, 2009-06-18 06:20 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]judyhazeleyes, 2009-06-19 12:04 am UTC

[info]white_serpent
2009-06-18 03:15 am UTC (link)
Hmph. I don't know what they're complaining about. The game was already destroyed when they didn't allow you to have a deck completely filled with moxes and black lotuses! *flounce*

Seriously, this is beautiful.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]sablemouse, 2009-06-18 03:42 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]muppetfromhell, 2009-06-18 07:21 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dragonsong12, 2009-06-18 03:41 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]dracobolt, 2009-06-18 05:26 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]cmdr_zoom, 2009-06-18 04:43 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]white_serpent, 2009-06-18 07:23 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]melkahb, 2009-06-18 08:53 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]taktuk, 2009-06-21 10:56 am UTC
Robust server and HTML fail
[info]sablemouse
2009-06-18 03:25 am UTC (link)
I was just thinking I should get into Magic again, and lo, they make it easy for me to do so! I like these new rules, if only for the fact that fanboy rage is so amusing.

from what I'm hearing now I'm getting scared... The stack is gone? What does it do?

I thought that you hardcore Spikes were supposed to know everything!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: Robust server and HTML fail - [info]jkefka, 2009-06-18 03:44 am UTC
Re: Robust server and HTML fail - [info]sablemouse, 2009-06-18 03:51 am UTC
Re: Robust server and HTML fail - [info]jkefka, 2009-06-18 03:56 am UTC
Re: Robust server and HTML fail - [info]soupspooks, 2009-06-18 04:17 am UTC
Re: Robust server and HTML fail - [info]jkefka, 2009-06-18 04:20 am UTC
Re: Robust server and HTML fail - [info]sablemouse, 2009-06-18 04:28 am UTC
Re: Robust server and HTML fail - [info]jkefka, 2009-06-18 04:30 am UTC
Re: Robust server and HTML fail - [info]sablemouse, 2009-06-18 04:41 am UTC
Re: Robust server and HTML fail - [info]melkahb, 2009-06-18 08:58 am UTC
Re: Robust server and HTML fail - [info]mistal, 2009-06-18 05:07 am UTC
Re: Robust server and HTML fail - [info]jkefka, 2009-06-18 05:21 am UTC
Re: Robust server and HTML fail - [info]mistal, 2009-06-18 05:50 am UTC
delete comment was just a double post - [info]mistal, 2009-06-18 05:52 am UTC
Re: Robust server and HTML fail - [info]risha, 2009-06-18 07:50 am UTC
Re: Robust server and HTML fail - [info]yattara, 2009-06-18 03:32 pm UTC

[info]sevendeadlyfun
2009-06-18 03:45 am UTC (link)
Aww, cardboard crack! Thank you, F_W for bring back sweet, sweet memories from my baby geek days. Sweet, sweet memories of rules lawyers and min/maxing and the special idiocy required to make a blue/white/green deck to take up against a powergamer with a cranked black/red deck. *SNIFF*

(Reply to this)


[info]deliciouschaos
2009-06-18 03:48 am UTC (link)
I'm still a huge fan of the new "enter the battlefield" thing.

All I can think of is...do you think that love can bloom on the battlefield?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]urpletastic, 2009-06-18 08:32 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]deliciouschaos, 2009-06-18 09:00 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]deliciouschaos, 2009-06-18 09:04 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]urpletastic, 2009-06-18 10:50 am UTC
(no subject) - janegray, 2009-06-18 02:39 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ecchaniz0r, 2009-06-18 03:33 pm UTC
(no subject) - janegray, 2009-06-18 03:57 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]marsdragon, 2009-06-19 06:23 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ecchaniz0r, 2009-06-21 07:19 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]urpletastic, 2009-06-18 05:30 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]digigirl132, 2009-06-19 05:30 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]urpletastic, 2009-06-20 07:54 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]taktuk, 2009-06-21 10:58 am UTC

[info]sablemouse
2009-06-18 04:13 am UTC (link)
It's not hard to understand unless you are dense, which (obviously) many people in this world are, especially women. Fortunately, those people don't play magic very long.

Magic is a thinking man's game. It's not chutes and ladders.


There are misogynists playing this game?! I don't want my game sullied with people who don't understand political correctness! *flounce*

No seriously, that was quite rage-inducing.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - tetradecimal, 2009-06-18 04:25 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]some_dude, 2009-06-18 05:28 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]some_dude, 2009-06-18 05:28 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]some_dude, 2009-06-18 05:28 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]tachikoma01, 2009-06-18 05:29 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]caito, 2009-06-18 06:43 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]neuronin, 2009-06-18 06:52 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]neuronin, 2009-06-18 06:51 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]librarianmouse, 2009-06-18 08:20 am UTC
(no subject) - mockygogo, 2009-06-18 08:42 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]digigirl132, 2009-06-19 05:32 pm UTC
(no subject) - tree, 2009-06-20 10:38 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]chikane, 2009-06-18 11:05 am UTC
(no subject) - janegray, 2009-06-18 02:45 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]yattara, 2009-06-18 03:36 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mistal, 2009-06-18 09:47 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]yattara, 2009-06-19 03:16 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]starfish, 2009-06-18 03:55 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]taktuk, 2009-06-21 11:15 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dracobolt, 2009-06-18 05:30 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]anonyrat, 2009-06-18 05:46 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]taterbird, 2009-06-18 06:39 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]alcesx2, 2009-06-18 06:40 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]lasultrix, 2009-06-20 12:11 am UTC

[info]synergasm
2009-06-18 04:15 am UTC (link)
I wonder if my baby brother is in there wanking.


...man that just does not sound right.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]argylespy, 2009-06-18 05:09 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]synergasm, 2009-06-18 05:14 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]argylespy, 2009-06-18 05:17 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]muppetfromhell, 2009-06-18 07:23 am UTC
Re: Robust server and HTML fail
tetradecimal
2009-06-18 04:21 am UTC (link)
1) You made bounce worse thanks to removing stacked damage.
2) You made pump marginally worse thanks to removing stacked damage.

I have no idea what this means, but it sounds vaguely dirty.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: Robust server and HTML fail - [info]neuronin, 2009-06-18 06:45 am UTC
Re: Robust server and HTML fail - [info]honorh, 2009-06-18 06:49 am UTC
Re: Robust server and HTML fail - [info]omnicrom, 2009-06-18 11:48 pm UTC

[info]maiiau
2009-06-18 04:27 am UTC (link)
This just makes me think of when I traded a Magic card for a Pokemon card in elementary school.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]caito, 2009-06-18 06:46 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]seca, 2009-06-18 12:53 pm UTC
(no subject) - mockygogo, 2009-06-18 06:14 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]talec, 2009-06-18 10:12 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]beejium, 2009-06-19 05:39 am UTC
ot - [info]dives, 2009-06-20 10:04 pm UTC

[info]t_boy
2009-06-18 04:30 am UTC (link)
I was like, "Ha ha ha, Magic wank!" and then I was like, "Ha ha ha, changes in trample and first strike rules," and then I was like, "Wait, what is deathtouch? Or double strike? Or banding?"

Magic rules have changed? They've been changing every year, dumbasses! XD

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]the__ivorytower, 2009-06-18 05:43 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]iamnotyourmuse, 2009-06-18 06:30 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]chikane, 2009-06-18 12:44 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]taterbird, 2009-06-18 06:44 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ara, 2009-06-18 06:47 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]wonderfish, 2009-06-18 09:28 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]yattara, 2009-06-18 03:39 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]risha, 2009-06-18 07:48 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]bangoskank, 2009-06-18 08:16 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]deliciouschaos, 2009-06-18 10:09 pm UTC

[info]lady_jafaria
2009-06-18 06:21 am UTC (link)
Screw the rules! I have money!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]dragonsong12, 2009-06-18 03:48 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]dark_puck, 2009-06-19 01:17 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dracobolt, 2009-06-18 05:35 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]phasmas, 2009-06-18 07:26 pm UTC

[info]fern_on_fen
2009-06-18 06:48 am UTC (link)
Is it wrong that I'm humming singing 'Wanker, Magic, Wank' to the tune of 'Dance, Magic, Dance,' now?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]neuronin, 2009-06-18 06:57 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]librarianmouse, 2009-06-18 08:23 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]neuronin, 2009-06-18 11:56 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]caito, 2009-06-18 07:50 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]jkefka, 2009-06-18 09:12 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]yattara, 2009-06-18 03:40 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]alcesx2, 2009-06-18 06:46 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]makeshyft, 2009-06-20 09:58 pm UTC

[info]demonbean
2009-06-18 07:42 am UTC (link)
The Version 2.0 Fallacy

The 2.0 Fallacy follows the introduction of rule changes, and the subsequent and inevitable determination that the rules are dumb, after which the gamers reason backwards and decide that all new players are themselves dumb.

This shall be punished by many tiny papercuts from an obsolete M:TG deck.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]adevyish, 2009-06-18 08:02 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]msilverstar, 2009-06-18 09:53 am UTC

[info]mochibuni
2009-06-18 08:26 am UTC (link)
No more manaburn? WOOOOT.

Though that's going to make my friend's Elf deck incredibly OP. Uh oh.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]grand_sealink, 2009-06-19 07:55 pm UTC
My memory hurts
[info]melkahb
2009-06-18 09:20 am UTC (link)
To me, this wank is both funny and sad. Funny because whining, self-important, obsessive fanboys are always funny when you're not sharing the same airspace as their unshowered asses. Sad because I spent a number of years working in games. I didn't make this one, but I know the amount of time and attention and thought and work and honest care that went into making a fun, fast, competitive, exciting game, and how people claiming to be your biggest fans just pissed all over it.

No rules set is perfect, and what's written in crystal clear language for 90% of humanity is indecipherable to the other 10%. Nobody (except Games Workshop, and even then I'm just being bitter) makes serious rules or design changes just to make money. It costs too much in time, energy, and brain sweat. Easier to let a clunky and flawed game ride because for all the complaining people will still play and still complain less than if you change it. See above, re: wank.

(Reply to this)

here is the topic. here is this comment barely relating to it.
[info]dico
2009-06-18 01:19 pm UTC (link)
I will never forgive Magic: The Gathering for the simple reason that the day I got pogs, Magic: The Gathering hit my school and no one gave a crap about pogs anymore.

MY HEART WAS BROKEN. BROKEN.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: here is the topic. here is this comment barely relating to it. - tetradecimal, 2009-06-18 02:14 pm UTC
Re: here is the topic. here is this comment barely relating to it. - [info]reeve, 2009-06-18 03:55 pm UTC
Re: here is the topic. here is this comment barely relating to it. - [info]phosfate, 2009-06-18 10:02 pm UTC
Re: here is the topic. here is this comment barely relating to it. - [info]enrythe8th, 2009-06-20 06:57 pm UTC
Re: here is the topic. here is this comment barely relating to it. - [info]caffeine_fairy, 2009-06-19 12:36 am UTC

[info]anonyrat
2009-06-18 05:51 pm UTC (link)
Oh man, M:tG.

We get M:tG players wandering into my gaming club occasionally. They hardly ever talk to anyone else or play other games -- they just sit in their corner, play Magic, and eventually stop coming.

They also never get along with my friend, who makes ludicrous theme decks (the "We Are All Elves" Conspiracy deck was pretty awesome).

I bet some of those taciturn srs bzns folks are in there.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]risha, 2009-06-18 06:44 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bangoskank, 2009-06-18 08:18 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]deliciouschaos, 2009-06-18 10:10 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]grand_sealink, 2009-06-19 08:01 pm UTC

[info]alcesx2
2009-06-18 06:51 pm UTC (link)
Damn those little punkasses! The boards are down! Now how the hell am I supposed to pass my time at work?!

(Reply to this)


[info]duraniedrama
2009-06-18 08:23 pm UTC (link)
It's like linking to a wank in Spanish--I kinda know some of the words, but most of it is completely lost to me.

(Reply to this)


[info]thestalkycop
2009-06-18 08:24 pm UTC (link)
I have been waiting for this to hit. I have been getting verbal updates from the significant other, who has been watching the wank for days!

(Reply to this)


[info]pseudo_dense
2009-06-18 08:41 pm UTC (link)
Ok, I admit I have never been able to comprehend the rules of TCG games. Just reading the description in that first thread made my eyes cross. So I'm going to try to translate this from one form of nerd speech to another dialect I AM familiar with, World of Warcraft, and see if I can understand where the wank is coming from..

OMG THEY NERFED *INSERT RAID HERE* FUCKING CASUALS ARE RUINING THE GAME BLIZZARD IS BOWING TO ALL THE WHINERS THIS GAME IS GOING TO HELL.

...am I close at all?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]jkefka, 2009-06-18 08:51 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]pseudo_dense, 2009-06-18 08:53 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]worstangel, 2009-06-18 09:51 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]christycorr, 2009-06-19 03:59 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]omnicrom, 2009-06-18 11:51 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]l_j_b, 2009-06-19 06:08 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]pseudo_dense, 2009-06-19 06:51 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]grand_sealink, 2009-06-19 08:06 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]pseudo_dense, 2009-06-19 06:51 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]hold_nothing, 2009-06-21 07:04 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]pseudo_dense, 2009-06-21 07:08 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]hold_nothing, 2009-06-21 07:21 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]pseudo_dense, 2009-06-21 07:28 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]hold_nothing, 2009-06-21 07:45 am UTC

[info]ara
2009-06-18 11:34 pm UTC (link)
You kids and your fancy newfangled rules! Back in my day we didn't have no deathtouch, or slivers, or permission decks, or bi-mana land with inconvenient drawbacks or horsemanship! We took our ill-defined rules, ripped up our Chaos Orbs, activated our mono artifacts, AND LIKED IT!!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]taktuk, 2009-06-21 11:03 am UTC


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