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Sep (lord of all I survey) ([info]sepiamagpie) wrote in [info]fandom_wank,
@ 2009-10-05 15:29:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:bitter so bitter, don't make me come back there, eli roth is not a yeti prince, f_w is serious business, fandom wank in review, fandom_wank's thoughts on yaoi, girls you're all pretty!, i swear i will turn this comm around, i want to be a hero on the internets, i'm just here for the recipes, in ur wank - swapping our foodz, mod post, not wank, omg mock people mock, oppression, quality leadership, recipes in comments, sep declares vendetta on this poster, the tags are a lie!, this is not funny, this was no chicken, we love jf tags

Dearest little wankahs, what makes a perfect wank?

I'm not asking this because I'm trying to perfect a Get Wank Quick scheme*, though. Honest.



*Voodoo, not trolling.
Page 1 of 4
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(Post a new comment)


[info]iczer6
2009-10-05 11:49 pm UTC (link)
Inability to shut up.

Refusal to admit you're wrong or to acknowledge other points.

Keep pushing an issue even after everyone tell you not to.

(Reply to this)


[info]cyndra_falin
2009-10-05 11:51 pm UTC (link)
The amazing ability to keep missing the point and chronic not getting it. L Sybs is an example.

(Reply to this)

*tries her hand at this*
[info]viridian_magpie
2009-10-05 11:52 pm UTC (link)
Hysteria and over-reaction; defriending, condescension, and hypocrisy.

Add in a BNF and you're good to go.

(Reply to this)


[info]velvet_mace
2009-10-05 11:53 pm UTC (link)
Cognitive dissonance and pure unadulterated hubris are my favs. Like the person who compares her minor fandom role to Martin Luther King, or insists that her traced artwork is a masterpiece. Those are just pure fun.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]back_in_black, 2009-10-06 12:20 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]hallidae, 2009-10-06 02:48 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]librarianmouse, 2009-10-06 05:06 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]singe, 2009-10-06 11:27 pm UTC

[info]mistal
2009-10-05 11:57 pm UTC (link)
Teh funny?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]ecchaniz0r, 2009-10-06 04:30 am UTC

[info]herongale
2009-10-06 12:00 am UTC (link)
Outrage inversely proportional to the pettiness of the offense.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]lady_ganesh, 2009-10-06 03:12 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2009-10-06 06:31 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]herongale, 2009-10-06 08:01 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2009-10-06 08:10 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]herongale, 2009-10-06 08:18 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2009-10-06 09:13 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]herongale, 2009-10-06 10:16 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2009-10-06 11:05 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]50ft_queenie, 2009-10-08 06:58 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]reeve, 2009-10-06 04:41 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2009-10-06 11:36 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]herongale, 2009-10-06 07:56 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lady_ganesh, 2009-10-06 07:25 pm UTC

[info]ari_o
2009-10-06 12:06 am UTC (link)
Spirit lovers, delusional behavior, and sockpuppets.

(Reply to this)


[info]sailorcoruscant
2009-10-06 12:09 am UTC (link)
Ponies.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]researchgrrrl, 2009-10-07 03:49 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sailorcoruscant, 2009-10-07 09:12 am UTC

[info]ashenmote
2009-10-06 12:17 am UTC (link)
I like it when close-knit groups of friends goes ballistic because they are caught up in a loop of reassuring each other about being right. It's important that people are very sure about being right, or else they will cave in at the first reality check. That's no fun.

(Reply to this)


[info]spacelogic
2009-10-06 12:17 am UTC (link)
Equal parts:

1) High levels of absurdity, either in the views expressed by parties involved in the wank (see: tinhats) or in the expression of those views (liking an unpopular ship is just like being in a concentration camp!) Ideally, the people involved should think they're much more important than they really are, either to the fandom or to the content creators they're technically fans of.

2) A good report, highlighting the humorous and not the rage-inducing, preferably with some kind of "extras" built in, like script-style narrative or illustrations (or a comic book of the wank! That'd be so cool!) Alternatively, obvious grudgewank can be hysterical, but it's better not to be the one posting it.

Oh, and if we'd have to report it if we were shrinks (people involved seem likely to seriously hurt themselves or the other people involved) it's not so good. Pseudocide is funny, but suicide not so much.

(Reply to this)


[info]monty
2009-10-06 12:22 am UTC (link)
In addition to "people acting crazy", I always appreciate a wank that highlights something I didn't know about before, like the Snapewives. Note that Snapewives by themselves is not sufficient, but Snapewives engaged in wank? Awesome.

(Reply to this)


[info]quartz
2009-10-06 12:23 am UTC (link)
Flouncing, internet lawyers, use of sparkle or rainbow fonts, and best of all, the wanker's complete obsession with proving themselves right to everyone on the internet, not just those who reside in their pocket of fandom. Staying power of the wanker is also a plus, as is the ability to wank in multiple places at once. Wanks spanning more than one community/forum are always far tastier and more filling.

(Reply to this)

All the above, and my thoughts on yaoi
[info]bacon_lover
2009-10-06 12:26 am UTC (link)
wankas sifting through the reported source material, linking to more than was in the wank report and snarking on new stuff.

Multiple user-generated funny--I'm thinking Caito's Army as a recent example of peeps making multiple icons.

(Reply to this)


[info]jkefka
2009-10-06 12:34 am UTC (link)
Whining about things that are unimportant and getting exceedingly huffy when you're called on it.

Coming over and telling us off for being big meanies, while continuing not to get it at all.

Sockpuppets.

Batshit logic and complete conviction that you are right and everyone else is wrong.

(Reply to this)


[info]aloysius
2009-10-06 12:43 am UTC (link)
My favorites are BNFs (and their minions, or fandom in general) acting as though being a "BNF" actually has any sort of relevance or importance, and people who believe they're dating celebrities.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]aloysius, 2009-10-06 12:43 am UTC

[info]sparklepuss
2009-10-06 12:45 am UTC (link)
Internet lawyers!

And 1000+ sparklepoints for the astral plane.

(Reply to this)


[info]sarajayechan
2009-10-06 12:51 am UTC (link)
Shipping. Everything's wankier when shipping's involved.

(Reply to this)


[info]aurora_84
2009-10-06 12:57 am UTC (link)
CAPS LOCK ABUSE.

(Reply to this)


[info]misachan
2009-10-06 01:00 am UTC (link)
I love --- LOVE! --- fans going ballistic because their personal fanon/favorite ship/fanfic mega opus gets jossed by canon, especially if they then loudly declare that their version of canon is clearly superior.

The best is when the fanon they're defending is something that never had even the slightest chance of becoming canon, like a Wincester getting upset when Supernatural implies that Sam and Dean might not actually be sleeping together. I have fond memories of a Smallville fan having a meltdown over the implication in
[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<hourglass</i>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]

I love --- LOVE! --- fans going ballistic because their personal fanon/favorite ship/fanfic mega opus gets jossed by canon, especially if they then loudly declare that their version of canon is clearly superior.

The best is when the fanon they're defending is something that never had even the slightest chance of becoming canon, like a Wincester getting upset when Supernatural implies that Sam and Dean might not actually be sleeping together. I have fond memories of a Smallville fan having a meltdown over the implication in <Hourglass</i> that Lex Luthor was going to be evil in future. Ah, good times.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]misachan, 2009-10-06 01:01 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]yoritomo_reiko, 2009-10-06 01:43 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]bride_of_lister, 2009-10-06 01:53 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]yoritomo_reiko, 2009-10-06 01:55 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]bride_of_lister, 2009-10-06 02:24 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]yoritomo_reiko, 2009-10-06 02:28 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rhosyn_du, 2009-10-06 03:00 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]yoritomo_reiko, 2009-10-06 03:18 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rhosyn_du, 2009-10-06 03:45 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ahiru, 2009-10-06 07:57 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]lady_ganesh, 2009-10-06 03:17 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]yoritomo_reiko, 2009-10-06 03:19 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lady_ganesh, 2009-10-06 03:36 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]eleutheria, 2009-10-06 03:52 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lady_ganesh, 2009-10-06 03:16 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]yoritomo_reiko, 2009-10-06 03:18 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sgaana, 2009-10-06 04:01 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]misachan, 2009-10-06 04:10 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sparkysrevenge, 2009-10-06 10:02 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]palabradot, 2009-10-06 04:44 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]faeryfroggy, 2009-10-06 08:49 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]phasmas, 2009-10-06 04:46 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]rhrsoulmates, 2009-10-07 12:44 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]legoline, 2009-10-06 10:13 am UTC

[info]sparklepuss
2009-10-06 01:01 am UTC (link)
Oh and ANYTHING involving SPN fandom. I've never watched one minute of the show but I swear, no fandom dishes up the cra-zay like that one. Sometimes I pray for crazy new wank from SPN.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]justjenn, 2009-10-06 01:45 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]eleutheria, 2009-10-06 03:53 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]immortal_jedi, 2009-10-06 05:00 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]bienegold, 2009-10-06 06:02 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]jaseroque, 2009-10-06 11:30 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]bride_of_lister, 2009-10-06 02:27 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]iamnotyourmuse, 2009-10-06 04:38 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sokudoningyou, 2009-10-07 09:37 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]anonymityblaize, 2009-10-08 02:55 am UTC

[info]vitalitat
2009-10-06 01:03 am UTC (link)
*sings*


It's the circle of liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiife waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaank!
The path redundant
It's the pile of dead horses
It's the wheel of bullshit
It's the leap of lame
It's the band of suck
Till we find our place
On the path redundant
In the circle, the circle of wank.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]drich, 2009-10-06 02:34 am UTC

[info]white_serpent
2009-10-06 01:04 am UTC (link)
Anything especially quotable or inspiring new icons. Not exactly directive, but true.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]magnolia_mama, 2009-10-06 02:51 am UTC

[info]imp
2009-10-06 01:06 am UTC (link)
My favorite wanks are the ones where some BNF turns out to have ten socks and be conducting an insane attention whore-y clusterfuck of a scheme, and everyone has to fight about whether they're still awesome or not. Pseuicide is fun, too! So I guess something where the wanker did something totally screwed up and manipulative and completely insane, much to the varied reactions of all. I also appreciate other displays of douche, like plagiarists and people who're just plain crazyvitrolic like fpb or lovecrafty. Insanely stupid things are funny too, like special anuses or venom cocks.

Crazy astral plane and soulbonder stuff is fun too, but for me to enjoy it the crazy has to be a total asshole about it so it doesn't feel like kicking the disabled. Like, thinking you're Sephiroth and getting laughed out of a community for it is just pathetic, but thinking you're Sephiroth and getting into bitchfits all over fandom where you terrorize all the other Sephiroth wannabes so you can reign over them with your awesome marriage to Cloud and claiming you're sending meteors at the houses of anyone who offends you would be HYSTERICAL.

Like, this guy here with his ponies. If he just got made fun of for playing a a girl furry on SecondLife, I wouldn't be amused, but the way he turned it into this insane scheme where he treated people like characters in his magical harem anime fantasy and was generally wrapped up in his own little self-absorbed world of nutty douchebag wonders? PLUS THE HATEFUL PONIES? That's fantastic.

(Reply to this)


[info]randomsome1
2009-10-06 01:07 am UTC (link)
When the thing in question is made of so much WTF I absolutely have to share it with everyone I know.

Bonus lulz if their reaction is one of absolute horror. (See: His wife? A horse; the girl who was astrally married to/humping the home-made plushie of Cale from LFG; Snape's wives.)

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]lady_ganesh, 2009-10-06 03:13 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]bubosquared, 2009-10-06 07:34 pm UTC

[info]platedlizard
2009-10-06 01:14 am UTC (link)
Wankers comparing themselves to a genuinely oppressed group. For example, when that H/Hr shipper compared other people not liking the ship to slavery.

(Reply to this)
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