slow-mo panda is slow
We begin our saga on the fair hills of house_wilson, where the grass grows green and the House/Wilson shippers occasionally throw shit fits over whether or not David Shore is dicking around House/Wilson shippers.

One day, this (relatively) peaceful comm is visited by slow_mo_panda, who had arrived to bring to everyone her thoughts on yaoi The Contract, a love-it or hate-it extreme-whump fic amongst House fandom.

The masses do not react well. (And euclase wins the "most over-the-top reaction to criticism" award for this week.)

Having been thrown out by her ears, slow_mo_panda once again continued her travels, landing on the shores of fanficrants, where she hoped to be greeted with open arms and kind words telling her how everyone else is a bunch of mean bitches.

Alas, she had no luck on that front, either.

After a number of negative comments, she deleted that post and was banninated from fanficrants. And there was much rejoicing.

Hearing the commotion, ffrantsrants and sf_drama arrived on the scene so that they could point and laugh.

However, this is not the end of our story. slow_mo_panda, apparently having not learned her lesson yet, appeared once again, this time in ffrantsrants in order to talk about how oppressed she is. Or something. ETA: Now locked down, but here's a text-version:

To the Mod: I would like to say that I am somewhat grateful that you say that this community is so fair and non-biased, and that people like me will have a place to rant about these rants. I'm not posting here to stir up more shit, although it seems like it's already happened without me even participating. So, I am going to try and keep this short, and put all off-topic stuff in my LJ, so I don't clutter up the page here.

Here is my original review, just so this post is on-topic and in case anyone wants to know what all this is about:

Well, I finished reading the main story in the 'Contract' universe by DIY Sheep last night. (I have not read any of the spin-off fics yet.) I understand this seems to be, for reasons unknown to me, one of the most-loved and most popular House fanfics online. But it was very hard to read. It wasn't just because it's the first House fic I read that had a severely beaten and tortured House, but I also discovered that a brain-damaged House (at least where he is acting and is treated like a child) was disturbing to me. I think equally difficult to read were the multiple incorrect punctuations, mis-spelled words, and the general OOC dialogue. A few spots I noticed used words that were not appropriate for the sentence, or were mis-used. (For example, in many areas where a question was asked, the author used a period rather than a question-mark. And then in some areas where the question mark was used, it wasn't in the proper place. eg: "What do want for dinner" Wilson asked?) I may sound like a stuck-up grammar prude, but it's hard to get immersed in the story when these things pop out at me, especially the dialogue that made no sense or was too out of character. (Copied directly from the fic, a sentence that sticks out: “Yes you bloody well are, "House yelled out. He continued in a quieter tone. "If you know what’s good for you?")

I have to ask, with a fic this long and so obviously popular, why hasn't the author had it beta-read? (If they have, it was not corrected on the page where I got the story.) I will attempt to read some of the spin-offs, but this has become one of my least-favorite fanfics.Not to mention how jumbled and confusing the main 'verse page is: http://contractverse.livejournal.co m/

So, I am posting to make a few things known.

1. I have not commented in any of the epic public posts made about me because I know it will just throw gas on the fire, however I found this community, where it clearly states in the rules that I am allowed to come and rant about YOUR rants! So not only am I not ignoring an unwritten rule, but I am actually following rules! :) The rant I am ranting about is here: http://community.livejournal.com/ffrantsrants/169639.html

2. I was JUST banned from commenting over at fanficrants and what I would like to know is, how is ONE mod allowed to ban me from commenting (without consulting the other mods) when all I did was make a very valid comment to a completely unrelated post in the community? Here is what kutsuwamushi said by means of explanation in this unrelated post: "Oh, you're still here. Bye."
Now, if this mod is referring to the post I had to delete a couple days ago, why did they not ban me then? And why JUST ban me from commenting? And why not give me a decent comment if they are going to ban me? I do deserve that much.

3. If my review was not welcome because it was (as the few dozen rabid fans and neutral people said) posted in a very public community and did not belong there (It should only belong on the author's page, and should only be publicly posted with the author's permission), then how is it that a bunch of commenters over at sf_drama can make several brutally honest and cruel comments about the fic in THAT very public place, without asking permission or even sending the comments to the author? An example of one comment: "The Contract, which might be the worst piece of fiction, fan or otherwise, ever to be put on livejournal"

Here is the link to the post, the comments are spread throughout: http://community.livejournal.com/sf_drama/2606551.html

4. I forgot to add something I thought was hilarity! I read all the reviews (well, a lot of them) for this fic over at fanfic.net and was amazed that all these Panda-haters chose to ignore the reviews posted there that are at *least* as rough as mine! What's even funnier though, are the comments that say this fic is "such a masterpiece" and "If this were a film, it would win an Oscar!" Why are these reviews not getting the deserved LOLs?

5. I am attempting to reply to all of the comments I have seen so far that are not deleted. If they garner a comment from me, they will be posted on the public post in my LJ. Anything else I have to say about this will be posted there. I have responded to the comments that I have read in this community already, but I need a break, so I will have the rest of them answered sometime this weekend.

Text courtesy of elektra_alpha.

ETA2: And now doire brings the screencaps.


Caps courtesy of xayeidemon.

ETA: Removed links to locked fanficrants content.

ETA2: Apparently, our friend has left a review on ff.net on the original fic:

I promised a few LJ users that I would send you the review I did on your story 'Contract'. I am new to House fandom, and this is the first novel-length fic I read. I thought since it is supposed to be one of the most popular House fics, that I would enjoy it. Normally I enjoy reading my favorite characters being tortured or abused. But for some reason, it didn't seem right for House. The torture seemed to be a little over-the-top, and the mental effects it had on him after, portraying him as very child-like, just disturbed me. I did finish the whole thing, though. I always admire authors who can write long, detailed fics. Might I suggest though, that you have someone beta-read this, and re-post it? I noticed quite a lot of punctuation mistakes, some mis-spelled words, or words used out of the proper context. Otherwise, thank you for adding something so many people enjoy to the fandom!

Oh, and I was pretty much **-kicked out of an LJ community because everyone there seemed to be a huge fan of your work, and I got about 50 comments, most of which were very rude, flaming remarks about how much of a bully I was for posting a review on a public community. I apologize if that idea upset you, but I am used to seeing it done in other fandoms. Besides, the mod deleted my post before I was able to defend my right to my opinion, and reply to the comments where I received death-threats and was called a ** and a **. The particular user that posted comments in HUGE BOLD TEXT stating that I had no right to bash her favorite authors or her 'fanpeoples' and I was a ** and deserved to die, and I should leave the fandom immediately, well, she deleted her LJ and I am darn sure is starting a clean one so she will not have the 'strike' she earned and deserves in the house_wilson comm, and will not be called-out on her comments. It must be nice to be able to start fresh and not take responsibility for her actions like that.

I am not going to delete my LJ or stop reviewing fanfic. I have had this happen to me more times than I care to admit, where a community mod took the side of everyone who called me names and told me to **-off, and then deletes my post 30 seconds after telling me to do so "within a reasonable amount of time", and not giving me a single chance to respond to any of the comments. I apparently received a 'strike' also, because I am I guess not allowed to defend myself to all those hateful people, and I did not use any harsh language, or call anyone names, I just answered questions truthfully and tried to explain why I made a review that apparently nobody has ever seen such a thing done before. I do not have the luxury however of deleting my LJ and erasing my 'strike' like some people do.

I hope you are proud of your fan-base, they are obviously so very loyal and will fight to the death for their favorite author!

Thanks to hallidae for the tip off.



ETA3: Now a tl;dr post in her personal journal. Man, she really doesn't know when to stop, does she?