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I wish I was boning vampires. ([info]tehrin) wrote in [info]fandom_wank,
@ 2009-12-22 23:53:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:doesn't mean what you think it means, entitlement, fun times with aja, i wanted to be wanked, irony, it's "fandom wank" dumbass, let the t-shirts burn!, lj, look how much i don't care, not very subtle at all, raised by hyenas, recipes in comments, slash is the specialest snowflake, someone is wrong on the internet!

Your Special Snowflake Isn't Personalized Enough
Wank found via [info]wank_report.

[info]lavendergaia, a.k.a. Kelly, doesn’t like the snowflake cookie V-gifts she’s been sent over on lj and expresses her displeasure on her journal:

Please do not read if you are easily offended


People, these are getting ridiculous. In the past two days, I have gotten almost 30 snowflake cookie gifts. You know how many of those were personalized or written in a way that I could tell that they were for me? About 5, probably less. I know that everyone is saying that they're free and it's the thought that counts, but I don't see any thoughtfulness in sending a free gift with a generic message that you've copied and pasted to every other person on your flist. My bank does that, but they at least take the time to put my name on it.

If I don't mean anything to you other than a name on a list who you occasionally talk to, that's fine. I am okay with that. But getting a copy/paste message on a free gift that takes a minute to send just shows that I am not important. There's really no need for you to take the small amount of time and send it. And for those of you who commented yesterday that you did do it because you cared, I appreciate that, but the fact that you have to say it means that your gift didn't and isn't that the point of gifts? To show how much you care?

Frankly, the majority of these snowflakes just say that you like having someone on your flist, but not enough to take the time to personally wish me a happy holidays or to do anything special. Maybe I'm alone in this, but I'd much rather get a nice comment or PM speaking to me as a person then the same gift you give to everyone else. That's not caring; that's obligation.

So thank you to everyone who acknowledged that I exist. And a large, genuine thank you who took the time to use the gifts to show that they care.


Her friends then start apologizing about sending her snowflake cookies. Eventually, people show up who don’t hold the same opinion.

[info]bookshop was linked by a “few people who were pretty much speechless with disbelief” and thinks this to be “completely classless.”

[info]ladyvyola translates Kelly’s post as “A big "fuck you" to anyone who took a moment to do something thoughtful for me.” Down-thread, Kelly says its been two weeks since the post was made and everyone is already over it, forgetting that the internet never really gets over anything.

[info]jane_doe_ tells Kelly "you are a bad person and whoever raised you did a really bad job. Sorry."

So why are these snowflakes so damn special? [info]bridget_x_alena explains to an anon:

Not really, because when people are buying gifts, they're picking something that they know a) the person will like, b) the person wants, or c) will mean something to the giftee. Key word here being 'buying'. As in, 'spending money on' because that person clearly means enough to have something bought for them. If I were to get the same free present for all of my friends, the ones that I only talk to once in a while are going to be like, "huh?" and the ones I talk to all the time are going to wonder why more thought wasn't put into it.

If anything, the fact that they were free made them less special because it was like most people were just saying, "HERE, I don't care about you enough to spend .99 on other vgifts during the rest of the year so here's this thing!"

Oh, and way to not have the balls to own up to your opinion.


ETA: [info]lavendergaia has discovered she has been wanked. She's also shown up on [info]sf_drama and [info]sf_anon

Despite seeming so happy about being wanked in the above link to her journal, Kelly added this ETA to her original post:

2 Weeks Later ETA: Hello to everyone who is going to troll this and people here from Fandom Wanks. Hi! If you're going to comment, please at least make it fun. Thanks in advance! (Look, see, I can be thankful!)

ETA2: Okay, I'm bored with this now. And I plan to take another muscle relaxer and sleep for at least 12 hours and don't want to come up with an inbox full of trolls. Leaving the post open so people can mock or do whatever they want, but posting is disabled for now. I might reopen it again later if I get bored.


Nothing is better than a "I am so happy, but not really" flounce. Comments are locked. I hope everyone here has known better than troll the wank. Instead of snowflakes, she has recieved 12 cakes for Grinchmas from mice who respected her wishes and left personalized messages.

[info]ladyvyola has popped over here in the report to say hello.

ETA 2: And now there's a community.



(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)


[info]ladyvyola
2009-12-23 05:04 pm UTC (link)
Baby's first wank!

Somehow this just pushed all my buttons when I followed the link Seperis posted. The idea of publicly berating specific people (and I love how she says she's not naming names when the v-gifts, the givers, and all the messages are visible) for not meeting her standards is just boggling to me.

She's got thirty cookies and of those, there's like two with no message and three with just a heart symbol as the message. Everything else has something.

On the other hand, it was fabulous that she can use capital letters, punctuation, and noun-verb tense agreement correctly. I appreciate a wank where you can really concentrate on the stupid reasoning someone is using, rather than getting dragged down trying to figure out what they're saying in the first place.

My favorite moment? When she wondered if I was yelling at all the other people who shared her offended sensibilities and, when I asked who these people where, informed me that she didn't actually know of any but was sure that there must be some who were just keeping silent for fear of me and my judgmental posse.

I swear to god, I was ready to keep following her down the rabbit hole but the thought that it might end up here actually stopped me in the end. Apparently, hyenas can enforce some sort of social standard, and I can be taught.

I've been on the internet for fifteen years; LJ for eight. I've never wandered into a total stranger's forum and told them they were wrong before. See you again in 2025!

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]white_serpent
2009-12-23 10:08 pm UTC (link)
My favorite moment? When she wondered if I was yelling at all the other people who shared her offended sensibilities and, when I asked who these people where, informed me that she didn't actually know of any but was sure that there must be some who were just keeping silent for fear of me and my judgmental posse.

The lurkers support her via psychic emanations.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]ladyvyola
2009-12-23 11:10 pm UTC (link)
I came this close to typing "BINGO!"

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]sisterelwood
2009-12-24 11:07 am UTC (link)
Please see icon. Also? TL;DR

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]sisterelwood
2009-12-24 11:22 am UTC (link)
Okay, so I see you're not the twat waffle in question. I take back my comment about 'see icon' but still maintain the TL;DR.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]judyhazeleyes
2009-12-26 03:52 pm UTC (link)
Bahahaha, I love her face. I really need to get into that manga.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


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